AMA - The Boyfriend Ch. 181-190

"You should spoon her," Cassidy whispered to me.

"Tonight is about you, and you need your post-fuck cuddles," I said.

That made her smile, but she shook her head. "Wanda needs you more."

I pulled her close, hugging her naked body to mine. "Stop putting other people before you," I whispered to her.

"Pot, meet kettle," Cassidy whispered back.

"How about you two just get into bed and we both snuggle him?" Wanda murmured from the bed.

Now that she was up and the question was moot, so we quickly got under the covers. Wanda was naked and soon I had both of them plastered to my sides and under the covers.

"How was it?" Wanda asked Cassidy. I could feel her take Cassidy's hand and hold it on my chest.

"I can't believe you snaked me like that," Cassidy laughed softly. "I had no idea. It was so good, though. I've got half a load of his in my pussy still, another one in my ass."

"Dirty slut," Wanda giggled.

"For him, and him alone," Cassidy smiled. "Though I bet your ass is still feeling it from last night."

"Maybe," Wanda blushed.

"And if I told you to let him fuck it right now?" Cassidy asked.

Wanda answered to me instead of Cassidy. "I'd let you," she said simply and gave me a peck of a kiss. "Today was perfect, by the way. You touching me when you wanted, playing with me like it didn't matter what I wanted even though we both knew I wanted it the whole time."

"Want him to keep going?" Cassidy asked. "I think it would be so hot if next time he just pulls his cock out and makes you sit on it."

Wanda shivered a little as she bit her lip. "Fuck, I don't know," she said. "I- I want that, but also..."

"Can I be honest?" I asked.

"Of course," Wanda said.

"Anything, Tiger," Cassidy agreed.

"Wanda, I- I don't want to stop doing anything with you, but I also don't know if it's a good idea if we keep having sex while you're trying to figure out your marriage situation. If you want, I'll keep being touchy and own you like you want, but if we're going to have sex you need to explicitly ask for it and let me know that it's what you want for you. I can't make that decision for you while you're questioning things."

Wanda buried her face in my chest and nodded. "You're right," she said softly. "I just... I don't know how I can make any decisions without actually talking to him face to face."

"Then don't," Cassidy said. "Don't make any decisions. Robbie is right, as usual. Decide what your line is, and we'll follow it."

Wanda took a long breath in the dark.

"I can't give this up," she said, hugging me and squeezing Cassidy's hand tighter. "It might be the only thing holding me together right now. And today felt so fucking good... I'll think about more sex. I definitely am going to at least blow you again before the end of this trip, but anything else I'll seriously think about. I-" she stopped and swallowed.

"It's OK," I said softly, rubbing her bare back.

"I love you both," she said quietly. "I feel like I've been close to you for forever, and not just these past few days."

"Hey," Cassidy said with a little grin. "It's been four days. That's more than a few."

"Four, then," Wanda chuckled softly, some of the tension broken. "God, four days."

"We love you too, by the way," I said.

"Yes we do," Cassidy nodded.

"Thanks," Wanda sighed softly.

"Want to suck his cock now?" Cassidy offered. "I bet he could get it up again."

"Leave my penis alone," I groaned softly. "There will be time tomorrow."

That made them both start giggling softly.

* * * * *

I woke with a start, my eyes blasted in the dark as my vision swam and I tried to catch my breath but felt like I couldn't. I was panting and I felt like my chest was open and my head was broken. My whole body felt like it was vibrating with panic.

"Robbie?" Cassidy asked.

"What's going on?" Wanda asked.

Both of them were still beside me, blinking awake in confusion.

I couldn't breathe. Everything was wrong. Or something was wrong. I was wrong.

"Can't-" I clutched at my chest, and then down my arms because that felt weird.

"Robbie. Robbie!" Wanda said. Then to Cassidy. "I think he's having a panic attack."

"Fuck, Robbie," Cassidy said, rubbing my back but it felt like it was a mile away.

"Does he have panic attacks?" Wanda asked.

"No," Cassidy shook her head. "Well, not- he had one that first day, I think. The day we were first here, and I told him about my cheating."

"Water," I croaked, and I stumbled out from under the covers and towards the bathroom.

"What do we do?" Cassidy asked.

"Robbie, you need to breathe," Wanda said, getting out of bed with me and following me to the washroom.

I was at the sink and trying to drink from it, still finding it hard to catch my breath. I ended up just splashing water all over my face as I tried to focus.

"Breathe, Robbie," Wanda said. "Breathe."

Cassidy followed us into the washroom as well and sat on the toilet next to us, taking my hand. "It's OK, Robbie. We're here. We're here."

I managed to swallow some water, and that seemed to help my chest a little. I sucked in bellows of air now, my vision still swimming a little as I remembered what I'd been dreaming.

That cop. I'd been having sex with that cop. I'd been making her have sex.

"Move," I croaked, pawing at Cassidy, and she got out of the way just in time for me to slam up the toilet seat and puke into the bowl.

"Is everything OK in here?" Cattie asked from the door. She heard us in the washroom and came into the room a bit more, looking in and seeing all three of us naked, and me on my knees at the toilet. "What's wrong?"

"He's having a panic attack," Cassidy said, rubbing my back. "Like- like a few days ago."

"Oh, Robbie," Cattie said, squeezing into the little space with us and putting her hand on my back as well. Wanda was still holding one of my hands, but she put a little cup of water in it for me.

I didn't know what to say. In between sips of water, half of which I spit out after rinsing my mouth, I was still panting. Still finding my breath.

Still trying to forget a dream where I was doing what I feared I had already done.

"Shhhh," Cattie hushed softly, trying to soothe me.

"It's OK, Robbie," Cassidy said softly. "Everything is OK."

Wanda took the cup and refilled it, handing it back to me.

I didn't know what to say.

Chapter 185

"I just don't know what to do."

I woke up to the soft whispers, having a hard time parsing where I was or what was going on for a moment.

"There's nothing you can do, Cass," Wanda whispered. "You said it wasn't as bad as last time, right?"

There wasn't a verbal response. It was still almost pitch dark in the room, the only light a couple of pinpoint spots from the corner of the washroom door. I was alone in bed, and felt strange that I found it uncomfortable after spending only a few nights with both Cassidy and Wanda in it with me.

"Well, he needs time to process," Wanda whispered. "Just like I do. He knows you love him, and you're trying your hardest. Cass, I get why you did it this way, and I- I can't complain about what I've gotten out of it. But the amount of pressure you put on him..."

"I know," Cassidy said. "I know. Fuck, I'm so fucking-"

"Stop, babe. Stop," Wanda whispered, interrupting Cassidy. "It is what it is. I hate that saying, but it fits. You can't change it now. You know he wouldn't want to hear you putting yourself down like that."

Wanda was right, hearing Cassidy verbalizing her guilt didn't give me any sort of positive feeling like she was getting her comeuppance or something. It just made me hurt for her.

There were some soft sobs for a bit, muffled, and I assumed Wanda was hugging Cassidy. I wanted to get up and go in there, to take my fiancee in my arms and tell her it was all alright.

But I couldn't, because it obviously wasn't. My panic attack in the middle of the night said so.

"It's all my fault," Cassidy sobbed quietly. I knew she was probably being both general about it as well as more specific - Wanda and Cattie didn't know about what had really triggered my nightmare and attack. Cassidy did.

"Shhhh," Wanda hushed her softly without trying to correct her. There wasn't any correcting to be done.

Eventually the washroom light went off and the door cracked open, the soft red light of the night light the only thing lighting up the cabin as they both slipped back into the main room. Wanda got onto the bed first, assuming her spot back on my left side, and Cassidy followed on the right.

"Come here, baby," I said quietly, sweeping the covers back and pulling her towards me. Cassidy broke down again when she realized I must have heard at least some of their conversation, but she let me pull her close and she buried her face into my shoulder as she pulled her knees up to her chest and cried quietly. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled the covers back over us.

"She's freaking out a bit," Wanda said softly, slipping under the covers on my other side after taking off the T-shirt she must have put on for the conversation. Cassidy had been naked, and I suspected Wanda had woken up and heard her in the washroom and went to her. With the shirt gone, Wanda was naked as well and she snuggled up to me on her side, reaching over my chest to soothingly run her fingers through Cassidy's hair. "She needs you so much, Robbie."

"And I need her," I said, hugging Cassidy tightly while I pulled Wanda closer with my other arm.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Robbie," Cassidy whimpered. "For everything. For yesterday. I'm so fucking sorry you had to go through that last night."

"Shhh," I shushed her. It felt awful knowing that our physical reconnection last night under the stars, that passionate sex we'd had, was completely out of her mind and replaced by my panic attack. I almost felt guilty about it, though I knew I couldn't help it.

Cassidy's tears slowly dwindled to sniffles, and finally to quiet breathing as the three of us lay in the dark, holding each other and feeling our breathing sync up. And then, once everything felt at peace, I felt a wet tear on my opposite shoulder.

"I'm OK," Wanda said quietly.

"No, you're not," I said, rubbing her bare back.

"OK, I'm not," Wanda sighed and shifted, resting her face more fully on my chest as she took her turn letting out all the bubbling, confusing emotions that she was feeling as well. I held her, and it was Cassidy's turn to comfort her as she reached over and took Wanda's hand, holding it tight.

"We love you, Wanda," Cassidy whispered in the dark.

"We do," I agreed, and bent my head down to kiss the top of her head. "We love you to bits."

"Thank you," Wanda whispered hoarsely.

She took a dozen deep breaths, getting herself back in order just in time for our quiet, emotional morning to get interrupted by the alarm of Cassidy's phone going off.

"Uuunngh," Cassidy groaned and hit her forehead on my shoulder a couple of times. "I forgot I promised Terra I'd help her this morning."

"I guess we should all get up," I sighed even though none of us had moved.

"No, no," Cassidy said. "I'm- I'm OK now. Or for now, at least. And I don't want to flake on Terra, she needs someone. You two stay here."

"Are you sure?" Wanda asked.

"Yes, absolutely," Cassidy said, leaning over me and kissing Wanda on the forehead. "Just... be with each other, OK? Hold each other, and love on each other. Sleep in and snuggle. You both need it."

"Thank you," Wanda said softly. "But you do too."

"I've had him for years," Cassidy said with a sad smile. "I need him forever, but you need him a little more right now."

"Tell Terra I'm thinking of her," I said. My conversation with her last night had been rough on her end as she grappled with how she felt about JC.

"We're thinking about her," Wanda corrected. "And if she needs anything, we'll be there."

Cassidy slipped out from the covers and kissed me on the lips, then found Wanda in the dark and kissed her quickly too. "I will," she promised. "Love you."

"Love you," Wanda and I replied together.

Chapter 186

Cassidy got dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt since she wasn't going to be on camera with Terra, just using the light from the bathroom with the door mostly closed to try and give Wanda and I a way to stay sleepy. She didn't even bother with makeup. When she was done she came over to Wanda's side of the bed.

"Can you do something for me?" she asked Wanda.

"Of course," Wanda said, turning over onto her other side to face Cassidy.

"That's actually exactly what I wanted," Cassidy said, then reached over and pulled on my opposite arm so I would get on my side behind Wanda, and that led to me spooning her as Cassidy pulled my arm down to hug the other woman. "There. Just because it's a good idea that we stop the sex doesn't mean you can't feel him holding you properly."

Wanda gave one little chuckle and shook her head, but didn't move away and instead wiggled her hips back at me a little so that her ass was firmly pressed against my crotch. "Fine," she said. "I can feel his cock pressing against my buttcheeks. Happy?"

"Only if you and he are," Cassidy said, stroking my face with her thumb as she smiled at me.

She left us like that, turning off the washroom light as I held Wanda. We were quiet, me hugging her and her hugging my arms to her chest like she wanted to make sure I wouldn't let go. I ended up leaning my head down and kissing her bare shoulder.

"I'm not going anywhere, Wanda," I whispered.

"Thank you," she whispered back.

There was some sound of movement outside in the hallway for a bit, and then the engine of the houseboat thrummed to life and it started moving. Cassidy must have told JC that I was sleeping in, and considering he'd slept out on the couch it was unlikely he would have been able to stay asleep once people were moving around.

"I'm not sure what to do," Wanda eventually said.

"About Brodi?" I guessed.

She nodded. "I feel like I should feel guilty. About everything. But I don't. I feel... I just feel hurt."

I kissed her shoulder again and squeezed her tightly.

The boat stopped moving and there was more sound in the hallway and then outside and above us, and when the din died down I assumed that at least most of the girls were now out trying to get set up for their photoshoots before the sun started peeking at the horizon and golden hour cut in.

"You don't need to feel bad," Wanda said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It's obvious, Robbie. You feel like you should be out there helping someone. You're a chronic helper," Wanda said. "But you're helping me, right here. So don't feel bad."

I kissed her shoulder a third time, then pushed things a little and kissed the crook of her neck as well. "I promise I'll never feel bad about spending time with you. Especially like this."

She sighed and traced her fingers through the hair on my arms, but whatever she was thinking was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I called, turning onto my back as I did it.

"It's me," Becca said, opening the door and slipping inside. There was a hint of light coming in from the porthole window now and I saw that she was dressed in a loose sweatshirt and a pair of her cotton shorts. "Cassidy told me about last night, and I decided I wanted to be here more than I wanted to help Ginnie and Sherry again. Um, do you...?"

"It's OK," Wanda said, turning over and waving Becca towards the bed. "Come on in and help me snuggle him to death. There's just one rule."

"What's that?" Becca asked as she shifted down the side of the bed, getting ready to climb on.

"You gotta be naked under these sheets," Wanda said.

Becca blushed and smiled, but she quickly pulled off her sweatshirt to reveal she hadn't been wearing a bra, then her cotton shorts and panties followed and her pale, naked body slipped under the covers and pressed against mine as I wrapped my arm around her. She leaned up and gave me a kiss on the lips, not the long good morning kiss I wanted but still sweet and warm, and I knew she was feeling out how she felt about kissing me in front of Wanda.

"Good morning, beautiful," I said quietly.

"Morning," she said with a smile, then shifted to rest her head on my shoulder. Then she laughed softly. "Well, this isn't the first time we've shared a bed, Wanda, but it's definitely the first time naked and with a guy."

Wanda smirked and chuckled. "Don't you remember OmegaCon, four years ago?"

"Oh, shit, I forgot," Becca laughed, then looked up at me. "OK, first time sharing a bed with a guy."

I raised an eyebrow at the two of them.

"We got super trashed and were sharing a room with two other girls," Wanda explained. "We got in at like four in the morning and found out the other girls had turned off the AC and the room wasso hot. Being as tipsy as we were, we just stripped down and got into bed."

"This is much nicer," Becca said with a smile.

"Agreed," Wanda nodded.

The three of us lay there, sharing warmth for a bit, until Becca broke the pregnant silence. "So, are you OK?"

"Me, or her?" I asked.

"Both, I guess," Becca sighed.

"I'm not," Wanda said. "There's... a lot going on."

"I know you've been talking with Cassidy, but do you want to talk to us?" Becca offered.

"Always, hon," Wanda said, sliding a hand across my chest until her fingers found Becca's. "You know most of it already, though."

"What don't I know since yesterday?" Becca asked.

"That I feel worse about not caring if my marriage is broken than I do that it is," Wanda said. "And it's mostly this big lug's fault."

"I'm sorry," I said with a small frown.

"Don't be, Tiger," Wanda said.

"You said it, didn't you?" Becca asked.

"What's that?" Wanda asked.

"That you're falling in love with him," Becca said. "And that was the line where things weren't supposed to go between you and Brodi."

"How did you know?" Wanda asked.

"Because I'm falling in love with him, too," Becca said.

Chapter 187

"Oh, God, the two of us," Wanda sighed in frustration. "Of course we both fall for the same guy."

"Who is already engaged to someone else," Becca pointed out.

"You love me?" I asked, still stuck on that first admission.

Wanda dropped her jaw as her brow furrowed, and she reached across my chest and gave Becca a little shove. "Please do not tell me that's the first time you've said that out loud."

"Well, I-I-" Becca stammered.

"God, sometimes you can be a silly bitch," Wanda said. "Becca, tell him properly or I'll kick that skinny ass of yours out of this bed."

"Skinny compared to you," Becca grumbled, then she sat up and leaned over me, her bare breasts softly pushing against my chest. "I am, Robbie. I'm falling in love with you too." And then she kissed me with a sweet, earnest press of her lips to mine. It was the kiss of innocent love, with passion but little lust despite our current state of undress. It was pure.

"Well shit," Wanda sighed as our kiss ended. She was smiling sadly. "It's true."

"Three women in love with you," Becca said. "What the hell are you going to do?"

I let out my breath through my nose and let my head fall back heavily into the pillows.

"Oh, God," Wanda said. "It's not just three."

"Ami," I said.

"Oh, that's so good for her," Becca said, then turned from looking up at me to Wanda. "He's good for her."

"He is," Wanda agreed, but then shifted up higher so that her head was in line with mine. "But that's not all. Who else, Robbie? More than half the women on the trip like you, but who else is falling for you?"

I grunted softly and closed my eyes, not daring to think it as if they could read my mind.

"He doesn't want to say it until it's real," Becca said. "Doesn't want to betray anyone."