AMA - The Divorcee: Day 03-07

"Oh please. She could always stay in my room and I'll take the couch. That's no big deal." Stella tells you.

"Oh. Right. I just thought with Cassie here—" you start but Stella interrupts you.

"Yeah, yeah. She can go and sleep in your bedroom." Stella says with resignation. Cassie reacts positively upon hearing this news, and Stella wants none of that. "But no funny business!" she adds. "And you still sleep with me in my room tonight" Stella tells Cassie. Cassie doesn't bother responding directly to Stella, but instead she does a mocking impression of Stella by repeating the words "Be happy" which you can't help but laugh at.

"Hey! I stand by that. I said 'be happy' not 'be horny every fucking minute of every fucking day'" Stella retorts.

Before it escalates any further, you interject with "Language!" and telling them it's time for dinner. Like overgrown children, they just stick their tongues out at each other before taking a seat for dinner.

Thankfully, the excuse you gave was more than enough for Stella to drop the subject. You had to pretend for the rest of the dinner that this newly suggested trait isn't running around in your mind. After dinner, you and the girls continued watching the volleyball anime you started earlier and it was able to take your mind off of it a bit.

Now alone in the couch where you're more comfortable sleeping when Cassie's not with you, you can't help but stare at the Affection Multiplier's 'YES/NO' question of whether or not you want to buy the 'Normalized Incest' Trait.

On the one hand, you can finally explore that deep-seated fantasy you've had of hitting on your gorgeous cousin, and see where it goes without people looking at you like you deserve to live in Alabama. On the other hand, maybe you do deserve to live in Alabama because this is fucking incest you're thinking about here.

You ask yourself who's going to get hurt if everybody is just going to think it's okay anyway? Plus, it just said it removes that inhibition from your relatives, it doesn't mean Celeste is suddenly going to want to bang you. You still have to make her want to bang you. You mentally slap yourself. This is your fucking cousin you're talking about!

No. It's not just your cousin. It's fucking Celeste you're talking about. Your first crush. Your first wank. Your first fantasy. That's why you're even giving this thought the light of day. You go to her social media to see her profile picture and all the arguments about how taboo and wrong this is goes out the window.

[Image of Celeste on Social Media]

Fuck. You can't believe she's in her 40s already.

Your train of thought is broken by Stella's bedroom door opening, and you hide your phone like you've been looking at something dirty.

"I knew it. Can't sleep in your bedroom without me to scare the monsters away?" Cassie jokes, upon seeing you laying on the couch. She lifts her leg over the backrest of the couch and falls on top of you.

"You know me so well already" you reply to her, returning the joke. "Can't sleep?" she asks you. "I should ask you the same thing." you reply.

"Something like that. Stella's already asleep and I... I missed you mister... Jay", she corrects herself, before giving you a small peck on the nose. "I missed you too", you tell her before giving her an eskimo kiss.

CHAPTER 42.1

What happens next?

Shopping, Pt.2

Cassie rests her head next to yours in the couch and closes her eyes, seemingly wanting to just cuddle and sleep uncomfortably in this cramped couch with you. It's here that you realize that you're not even a week into this loving relationship with Cassie and you're already thinking about some fucked up thing like making your cousin want to bang you.

"Penny for your thoughts?" you suddenly hear Cassie ask. "You've been distracted since you got that phone call before dinner. Did something happen?" she adds, and here you thought you hid your preoccupation pretty well.

"I-uh, I'm just getting nervous about my date tomorrow with Tanya." You tell her, not necessarily lying since you are actually nervous about how that date's going to go. You're a bit worried about how Tanya will react when you tell her you have a girlfriend already but wouldn't mind another one. Jeez... just thinking it sounds douchey.

It's weird how well she can tell that that's not entirely what's keeping your mind preoccupied though.

"Not going to tell me huh?" she asks before tickling your ribs, making you instinctively react and you hug her around her arms so that she can't continue her tickling. You can feel her braless chest push into yours with the hug, and your dick reacts instinctively as her body accidentally rubs your crotch. You loosen the hug, not wanting to tempt the fates, or yourself, any further.

"If you really are that nervous about Ms. Tanya, then here are my thoughts on that — you shouldn't be." Cassie tells you bluntly, and she smiles at your annoyed face, like the answer was that obvious. "I mean, there's really nothing more to say. If she doesn't like you, you still have me; and if she does, you'll have us both. Sounds like a win-win for you, isn't it?" Cassie explains.

You stay silent, not wanting to argue the point further. What you're honestly afraid of is that Tanya does want to date you, but now that you're with Cassie, she's not going to want to try even if Cassie's okay with it. Maybe you should just convert points and buy 'Normalized Polyamory' before the date tomorrow, just to avoid being put into that position. Before you can dwell on it any further, Cassie breaks your train of thought.

"But that's not what's keeping your mind distracted, isn't it?" she asks again. "I don't know what it's about, and if you don't want to tell me yet, that's alright. Just know I'm here to support you." She assures you, but her statement reminds you of what you've been struggling with since Celeste's phone call.

"What if what I want is something wrong?" You ask her, genuinely curious about her opinion.

"Now I know this isn't about Ms. Tanya" she responds. "I'm guessing it has something to do with the app, if those are the kind of thoughts you're having." Cassie correctly surmises. You stay silent, neither confirming or denying her spot-on analysis. "You already know how I feel about that." She tells you, taking your silence as a 'yes'.

"What if I think there's something wrong with wanting it then?" you ask, clarifying what you're struggling with.

"If you really think it's wrong, then I don't think you would even consider it." she answers you.

"You trust me too much." you tell her.

"You haven't given me any reason not to." she quickly replies.

You continue to stare at the ceiling, mulling over what Cassie told you. You agree with her. If you really did think it was wrong, you wouldn't even give it a single second of consideration. Maybe it was the years of yearning for Celeste clouding your judgment. Then you start thinking to yourself 'maybe that's why you got gifted this app'.

Maybe it wanted you to know that your daughter loved and supported you, maybe it wanted you to know that the girl you've been babysitting for years has feelings for you and loves you, and maybe it wanted you to know that your forbidden fantasies shouldn't be all that forbidden.

...

"I don't want you to lose sleep over this." Cassie says concerned, noticing you've been staring at the ceiling all this time. She starts rubbing your chest with her now free hand to calm your nerves. "Is it a new trait?" Cassie asks, once again just reading you like a book. You answer yes, and she asks, "Can you already buy it?", and you answer yes again.

"Just buy it, Jay." She advises you.

"It's not that simple." You try to reason with her, but she seems adamant that you're the one overthinking it.

"It is that simple. I trust you. Stella trusts you. On some level, you have to think the universe trusts you for even gifting you the app and making you able to buy that trait in the first place." she states.

"Just do it Jay, so we can finally go to sleep. Then we'll wake up tomorrow and you'll realize the world hasn't changed as much as you thought it would." Cassie further encourages you.

With Cassie egging you on, you take out your phone which opens back up to the photo of Celeste you were looking at before hearing Cassie coming towards you. Cassie didn't seem to notice as she just kept cheering "Do it! Do it! Do it!" under her breath. You open up the app and you go back to the 'Normalized Incest' Trait and the question that's been plaguing you for hours.

Normalized Incest (200 Love pts and 200 Lust pts): Everyone accepts the fact that you have a romantic and sexual relationship with your relatives, whether by blood or by law. Relatives no longer have inhibitions against a romantic relationship with you, or inhibitions against finding you as an attractive sexual partner, on the sole reason of your familial relation.

Available points: 330 Friendship points / 200 Love points / 200 Lust points

You have acquired enough points to acquire this trait! Would you like to purchase it now?

YES/NO

"Do it! Do it! Do it!" Cassie keeps chanting like one of those cartoon devils. Maybe you are just overthinking this. Like you said, if you really feel icky about it, it's not like you can't stop yourself from going after Celeste if you realize you don't really want to.

You tap the buy button and confirm your purchase... once.

"Did you do it yet?" Cassie asks. "I—"

"Do it! Do it! Do it!" she starts chanting again.

You confirm it for the second time.

Available points: 330 Friendship points / 0 Love points / 0 Lust points

"I did it." You inform Cassie, so she can stop chanting. No turning back now.

"I'm guessing this whole thing is about that girl on your phone screen. Was she the one who called?"

CHAPTER 43.1

What happens next?

Coincidence and Consequence

"I'm guessing this whole thing is about that girl on your phone screen. Was she the one who called?" Cassie asks you with a raised eyebrow, curious who the girl in the photo was.

"You saw that?" you asked her embarrassed.

"That's all I can see right now actually." She replies.

"What?" you asked in panic.

"I can't see your app, remember?" Cassie says with a laugh. You're reminded that that's the case, but why did it have to get stuck on Celeste's photo?

"Would you like to talk about it?" Cassie asks again while still rubbing your chest.

"There really isn't anything to talk about. She's my cousin, Celeste. Yes, she's the one who called earlier. The one staying over this weekend." You tell Cassie.

"And you just randomly decided to look at her photo..." Cassie says, putting the pieces together. "And then you decide to ponder the question of whether what you want is wrong or not." Cassie adds, practically solving the puzzle.

You stay silent, not wanting to outright confirm that what she's implying is basically what happened. She's used to your silences by now when she's playing Sherlock, and assumes her guesses are correct.

"Tell me about her." Cassie suddenly suggests. "She didn't seem familiar to me based on her picture." Cassie adds.

"No. She wouldn't be. This is the first time she's coming to visit me since Stella was born." You tell Cassie.

"Oh wow, that long?" she reacts.

"Well, we get to see her whenever we visit back home during the holidays for a family reunion. My aunt's family, I mean her mom's family, lives near where I grew up, so that side of the family usually meets up there." you tell Cassie.

"You grew up with her?" Cassie asks.

"Yeah, she was around a lot back then. Birthdays, barbecues, random sporting events..." you start to reminisce, and give out a chuckle when you realize the serendipity in these developments. "She used to be my babysitter."

The revelation makes Cassie slap you in the chest, as if her rubbing earlier was just in preparation for this one hard slap. You flinch in pain, Cassie forgetting how hard her slaps can be as a volleyball player. Cassie laughs and apologizes, but she's in disbelief at that little tidbit too.

"You developed feelings for her!" Cassie excitedly surmises.

"I wouldn't say feelings. I had a crush at most. A really juvenile and puberty driven one." you correct Cassie. She laughs at your description at how you described your crush on Celeste, but she understood what you meant.

"But a crush nonetheless." Cassie adds.

"But a crush nonetheless." you repeat.

"And still a subsisting one from the sound of it." Cassie adds. "So I'm guessing whatever trait you bought would be to make her more attracted to you?" Cassie asks, and for the first time tonight, she didn't guess right and you actually tell her she's wrong this time instead of being silent.

"Really? I thought that's why you were struggling so much." Cassie admits. You ask her what she means by that and she explains, "I mean, I thought you were struggling with the idea of actually brainwashing someone into liking you."

"I wouldn't do that." you tell her honestly. "Plus, I think the app doesn't work that way. It can help you make it easier, but you still have to do something to make them actually like you." You explain to her, but you're not really sure to what extent the power of the app actually goes.

"She's not married or has a boyfriend does she!?" Cassie asks, hoping that you wouldn't go that far. You immediately answer she's divorced, same as you, and that you wouldn't even think about using the magic of the app to potentially inflict the same pain you went through with Diane.

"Then what were you struggling about? I kinda hate it that I didn't guess it right after following all the breadcrumbs you've been leaving for me." Cassie asks, sounding genuinely disappointed at her incorrect guess. In fact, even you are surprised she didn't guess it correctly. What else could you have bought that would help you with your cousin, outside of actually making it okay to try and be with your cousin?

Unless...

"Hey Cassie, what do you think about me possibly dating my cousin?" you ask her directly.

"You already know how I feel about that, Jay." she answers you.

You do?

She sees your look of confusion and looks concerned that you'd forgotten her opinion about it already. "I mean, you're going on a date with Ms. Tanya tomorrow. I would've thought that would've made it clear I'm really okay with you exploring your feelings for other women already." Cassie explains, not really getting that that's not the part you're asking about.

"Plus, I'd be a hypocrite to want to stop you from finding out if someone you grew up liking actually likes you back." Cassie adds, showing the parallel of her relationship with you, and your relationship with Celeste.

"But don't you think it's wrong that I'm attracted to my cousin?" you finally ask her as clearly as you can, in hopes she understands what you've been struggling with.

"Why would it be wrong?" she responds, still very much confused as to what you're trying to get at for some reason.

"I mean, because it's... because it's... incest." You finally say the dirty words out loud, albeit under your breath, but you hope there's no more confusion on Cassie's part.

"I mean, I guess for anybody else I'd find it disturbing." She answers you, and it dawns on you why that is. "But I trust you, and I love you, and I think you deserve to find happiness with whoever that may be. So I really don't think it's weird for you, just because it's your cousin." Cassie adds.

A part of you knows that's true. She's not lying about her love for you, or her trust, or her belief that you deserve to find happiness; but you know for a fact that you removed a crucial element in her forming an honest opinion. Probably why she couldn't deduce what you bought from the app.

Her last few guesses weren't the only wrong ones she made tonight. She was wrong about one other thing too. You haven't even slept yet and you know your world has changed drastically already.

CHAPTER 44.1

What happens next?

You start to believe... in your own bullshit

You're alone sitting on the couch again, wearing your date night outfit with Tanya later, with your head in your hands as you try and grasp the gravity of what it is you've done last night. You took most of the day to focus on what you need to do for your date later tonight — buying flowers, prepackaged rose petals, and scented candles; which you'll set up when you're back here at the apartment with Tanya — like the girls suggested you should; and it thankfully took your mind off of what you did last night.

Now that you're idle though, and back on the same couch, the guilt trip is coming back. You change position and rest your back on the couch's backrest, and start to stare at the ceiling now.

It's a good thing the girls are still in Stella's room, preparing for their Girls' Night Out later. Otherwise, they would definitely think something's up with how stressed out you are about this development which will only lead to questions — and possibly lying to them. Something you don't want to do if you could avoid it.

You haven't even told Cassie yet that the trait you bought last night was the 'Normalized Incest' trait, and only told her that you bought a trait to potentially 'help' you with dating your cousin, which isn't a complete lie. More importantly, you made her promise not to tell Stella yet. You couldn't even handle the idea that your girlfriend didn't find incest weird last night, so you definitely don't want to find out any time soon what your daughter would have to say about it.

You already know what she's going to think though. You know what the whole world is going to think. People will be fine if you try and date Celeste... your cousin. Your fucking cousin... and not a distant one either!

They'll probably even be fine if you and Celeste start fucking!

The realization makes you grunt into your hands. It's a weird physiological release of what you're feeling. A part of you is guilt-ridden by the idea that you just made the world accept your incestuous fantasies with your cousin as something that's not weird at all, but actually perfectly acceptable only for you. Another part, the part that was probably thinking for you last night when you let Cassie goad you into impulse buying a trait, is terribly excited at the prospect.

Your stressing out is interrupted by the buzzing of your phone in your pocket. It's a message from Celeste.

Celeste: Heyyy cuz! Are you free tomorrow night? Pick a restaurant and it's my treat :P

You: Hey Celeste! I'm free, but you really don't need to do that.

Celeste: I know I don't need to. I want to. So block tomorrow night off. No more resistance Baby-J. This is a done deal. Consider it a thank you for letting me stay over. ;)

You've been stressing out over this the entire day, and one text conversation from Celeste and you're thinking clearer like never before. Thinking with your dick maybe, but at least your dick clearly knows what it wants... It wants a shot at Celeste.

Maybe that's the only way not to pull your hair out over this. Hell, you bought the trait because you were thinking with your dick, maybe the only way to accept what you've done is to keep thinking with your dick.

So let's do some dick thinking then.

First of all, you haven't even done anything yet. So you tell yourself to stop the guilt tripping. So what if you made the world think it's okay for your cousin to date and/or fuck you? If you don't do anything about it, it's like you changed nothing at all.