by damonX
I like all your work. This wasn't any different. The ending was pretty funny too. Keep it up :).
A really excellent story line obviously it is going to be a fantasy so the writing needs to be stark and without too many typicaladjectives. In this case the over liberal use of porn cliches for example
...................ss his violent thrusting relented, he eased his swollen cock from her thoroughly used asshole ....................
tends to banalise the story as does the conventional ending.
Please continue on with srticter editing.
I loved the dom & sub nature of the whole story & the forced booty submission particularly was a nice touch ;-) The one thing that would have been an ABSOLUTE PERFECT ending would be for him to finish cumpletely balls deep inside her butt♡♡xo