Ambiramus Ch. 11

A/N -- Hello all. So we're ten chapters in and this story has certainly developed in some interesting ways. When I first started writing this, the idea in my mind was rather simple. A man and transgender woman would meet, fall in love, and then it would just be the story of their lives together. Had a few comments for most of the chapters. Thanks for taking the time to give your thoughts.

At the time of uploading this, I'm pleased to say that I've nearly completed writing this story. From Chapters 11 to 20, the story will continue on as a mix of 'romantic' chapters, featuring only Cindy and Mark, and 'fun' chapters, where Cindy and Mark will explore other themes that I've already covered.

From Chapters 21 onwards, the story will focus primarily on Cindy and Mark as I aim to have this wrapped up by Chapter 25. It will likely end as you might expect though won't spoil anything here.

Just one last thought. Please remember that, at the end of the day, although I try and keep my stories somewhat realistic, this is still nothing but pure fantasy. I'm happy with what I've done so far and will continue writing what I enjoy, aware that not everyone will be pleased but I've learned long ago I can't please everyone.

Hope you enjoy the next ten chapters. I'll hopefully get those uploaded as quickly as I can. All editing is done by myself. I'll own any errors, though shouldn't be anything off-putting. Hopefully...

*****

"So Megan is a... Is she a lesbian?" Mike asked, scratching his head, clearly a little confused.

"Well, no. Caroline is bisexual, as she'll sleep with men or women, so I guess that makes Megan bi-curious, at least for now. I guess that would be the best way to put it. But then Caroline has a penis so... I'm sure there is a term for it but I don't know enough. Caroline is a transwoman, Megan is a woman, they're currently dating so..."

"They're happy together so who gives a fuck," Chris stated.

I raised my mug in his direction. "Good way to put it, mate. Too many fucking labels nowadays. Just let people be happy doing what they do with needing to judge all the time."

They sipped at their mugs before Mike asked, "But Caroline wanted to fuck you first?"

"She did, and it probably would have been fantastic, but things are awkward. I love Cindy to bits, but now there's Alexa. And then there are her other friends... I'm worried I'm biting off more than I can chew. I'm leaving it for Cindy to decide how this all works as she's the one that agreed with her friends."

Chris scratched his chin. "So you're in a relationship with Cindy." I nodded. "But this Alexa is also in a relationship with you and Cindy too."

"Sort of. It's difficult to explain. Easiest way to put it is that we're not a threesome. Cindy and I are together but Alexa is close to both of us sometimes."

"And you love being fucked by her," Mike added.

Taking a sip of my coffee, I figured that Mike and Chris might be the best people to talk about with what was on my mind. I'd thought about what I'd been up to for the past few weeks, particularly with Alexa, but especially since the gangbang. Hand on heart, I'd loved the entire weekend. Six beautiful women had made love to me, then I'd returned the favour.

But the longer it went on, in the sense that Alexa seemed to really love fucking me, and I had absolutely no problem with that idea, I was wondering how I should view myself above all. I didn't care what most people thought about me, though I guess what my family and close friends thought would perhaps influence certain things.

Thinking about wanting to marry Cindy also left a few more questions about our life together. We talked about the future all the time, but talking was one thing. Our minds would quite obviously change once we'd slid a wedding ring onto each other's fingers. Cindy loved her friends, enjoyed the time we all spent together, and she was happy to share me with her friends. I enjoyed it as well, but after over thirty years of society telling me what is to be expected, it's hard to look beyond the programming.

"Something on your mind, mate?" Mike finally asked.

"What sexuality do you think I am?"

"Why do you ask?" The curiosity in his tone almost had me chuckling.

"Until I met Cindy, I would have said I was heterosexual. I'd been married to Megan, and all partners before her were women. And trans issues back then, well, didn't exist in the public sphere, particularly before the rise of social media. I certainly don't remember a single lesson at school ever even touching on the subject. Sexuality is obviously a spectrum, but I've never actually given thought to sleeping with a man. Hand on heart, I can look at a man and think 'Damn, he's handsome' and that's it. I certainly don't want to fuck him or suck his cock.

Now, the thing that's bubbling up in my mind is that Cindy is a woman. A woman with a difference regarding her anatomy, but in her heart and mind, she is a woman. Same with Alexa, Cass, Georgie, Emma and Melanie. They all identify as women by gender. And I see them as women. Always have, always will. But biologically, despite hormonal therapy, some surgery and lifestyle changes, they still share the anatomy that we all have in this room, and the same anatomy they share with me when we're naked in a bedroom."

"Well, I wouldn't say you're gay, mate. You don't sleep with men. I know you've done a lot of reading on trans issues, but what about sexuality?" Chris wondered.

"Well, there's quite a few different sexualities nowadays," Mike added, "I mean, back in the day, there was straight, gay or bisexual. But there's all sort of other different sexualities nowadays. The gist of the matter seems to be dealing with the fact you enjoy being the bottom?"

"Well, yeah. When I'm with Cindy, I'm generally the top with her. And while we haven't really talked about her going under the knife regarding lopping off her girlcock since the early days of our relationship, as we'll discuss it when she comes to a decision, if or when she does decide to go through with it, she'll have my support, and after her surgery, she will have female anatomy. The only thing that will separate her from bio-women is the fact she can't give birth.

The thing is, when I'm with all her friends, I'll admit, I've been the bottom quite a bit. And... Well, I really fucking enjoy it. I absolutely adore Alexa. And going back to what I said about expectations, everyone expects monogamy from people. I'm left thinking Cindy can handle me sleeping with others, and she'll join in with us because she loves her friends."

"But you're not sure?" Mike pressed.

"It's not that I'm unsure. I've just been told by everyone since I started dating that I should only be with one person at a time. And, let's be honest, most open relationships fail for various reasons, while poly relationships are still not understood and thought to be weird, or just a kink for certain people."

My two friends shared a glance. "Well, regarding your sexuality, you're not bisexual, as you don't sleep with men. You sleep with transwoman. Being the bottom or not, they identify as women. This is why sex, gender and identity is a minefield for everyone and the subject has to be treated with care whenever it's discussed. It's still a relatively new phenomenon, at least in the terms of it being in the public eye." Mike stopped, took a sip of his coffee, before finally shrugging his shoulders. "Mate, I simply don't know."

"Pansexual," Chris finally stated, "Seems to be a new term I've seen about online that is being used by some people."

"What does that mean?" I had to ask.

Chris pulled out his phone and finally showered me the screen. Not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity. Pansexuals may refer to themselves as being gender-blind.

"Hmmm. While it might fit, I do still view gender as neither of you interest me. I'm not physically attracted to men, but I have six transgender women in my life who I absolutely fucking adore, and one I want to marry as soon as I can."

"As I said, it's a minefield," Mike stated, "I'm a gay man, I'm attracted to men and it's simple as that. It's probably the same for straight people, they're attracted to the opposite sex at the biological level. Now that you're involved in trans issues, I think this is where people do end up being confused. Cindy, Alexa and the rest identify as women, and that's what is most important. You see them as women, which is how it should be. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about too much else."

"And if you like to bottom, fuck what anyone else thinks," Chris added, "You do you, mate, and just enjoy your life."

"What does Megan think about all of this?" Mike wondered.

"Well, she's still in love with me though that might change with Caroline now in the picture." My friends grinned as I was happy to admit that. "But she's seen me on the receiving end from Cindy. She admitted to complete respect and admiration for doing it."

"I still remember when Megan was the bitch and you hated the ground she walked on," Mike exclaimed, chuckling to himself.

"There's a lot of water under the bridge. I won't feel the same way I did about her for the time we were dating and then most of our marriage, but I didn't mind being intimate with her again, and I have a feeling she's like it to happen again. Part of me would like it to as our sex life, for the most part, was always fantastic. I know Caroline would like to invite Cindy and myself into her bedroom."

"Would Cindy agree?" Chris wondered.

"Probably. We're both open-minded about these things at the moment. We've talked about how things might change when I pop the question then when we're married."

Mike looked thoughtful. "You know what, I reckon she might want to have the surgery before you get married. She'll want to walk down the aisle as a woman, if you know what I mean."

"It's possible," I admitted, "But it's not something we've discussed all that much. She's happy with her life at the moment, and it doesn't seem like a topic I can approach to her about. It's something she needs to think about then tell me. Whatever her decision, she'll have my support."

I left work earlier than normal to go looking for engagement rings. I had a vague idea of what I wanted to get. I'd also asked Cindy what she wanted, no surprise that all she wanted was a ring. If it had a diamond, even better, but she didn't want me breaking the bank for her. What mattered was the proposal itself and the fact I wanted to spend my life with her.

After visiting the gym as usual, I walked into my apartment to find Cindy enjoying a glass of wine with Emma and Georgie. Dumping my work bag near the front door as always, I grabbed a beer from the fridge before taking a seat in the living room, only after giving Cindy a very soft but lingering kiss, of course. When Emma asked where was her kiss, I smiled and kissed her and Georgie too.

"Where have you been?" Cindy asked. I was home a little later than normal.

Taking a sip of my beer to cover my smile, I glanced at her. "Ring shopping." Cue shrieks of surprise. Cindy knew I was looking so all she did was smile at me before I added, "I haven't bought one yet. I'm tempted to ask if you want to come with me, but then it won't be a surprise."

"Honestly, Mark, all I want you to do is get on your knee and propose with a ring. Long as you think it's beautiful, that's what matters." To my surprise, she stood up and looked at her two friends. "Follow me, girls. Mark, you just wait here and finish your drink."

I couldn't help smile as I figured she already had something planned in her mind. "Of course, sweetheart. Just give me a shout."

Sipping at my beer, I could hear the three girls giggling from our bedroom. I didn't have to spend too long thinking about what Cindy had planned. I knew just mentioning the fact I was looking at rings would make her smile. She knew I wanted to marry her. She hadn't been shy in the fact she almost desperately wanted to be my wife. In those moments, sometimes when making love, she'd gaze into my eyes and I could hear the emotion in her voice... I almost had to stop myself proposing in that moment.

Hearing the call of my name, I took one last sip of my beer before carrying it through to our bedroom, leaving it on the bedside table before I turned to my girlfriend and her friends. No surprise that Cindy was naked on the bed, lying back with a smile on her face. No surprise she was hard, her girlcock resting against her lower body. No surprise that I walked towards her friends, their hands immediately moving to my shirt and trousers, eager to get me naked.

"I love you so much," Cindy whispered, "And my friends are so happy about what you just told me."

"I haven't been shy about the fact I want to marry you, Cindy."

Everything stopped as she choked back a sob before sat up and hugged me tightly. "I still think I'm dreaming sometimes..." I held her in my arms before she whispered, "Mark, I really, really want you to fuck me right now."

"Okay."

I was expecting her to suggest her friends wanted to join in on the fun, whether I fuck them, they fuck me, or we did both. But considering what I'd just told her, I think this had to be a private moment for us. "Walk us to the door, Mark. Cindy, enjoy the rest of your night," Emma stated. I sighed, as I was already naked and ready for fun with my girlfriend, Cindy giggling as I just threw on a pair of shorts and flip-flops.

Georgie hugged her, hearing her whisper how much she loved her friend, and wished her a happy life. Emma did the same before I walked the pair downstairs to their cars. Georgie hugged me first. She was a beautiful woman, and I had a feeling she would have liked to stay and fool around. I think that was the plan until I'd told Cindy what I'd been doing that afternoon.

"Would you ever want to fool around with us again?" she asked once we'd hugged for a couple of minutes.

"Of course. I had a good conversation with a couple of friends today, trying to sort my head out regarding a lot of things. Honestly, I'm loving my life right now. I just have to stop overthinking things, but it's hard not to when I've been told by society how to live my life for so long. This is all still so new to me in a way. I'm not used to having six women who all seem to love my company."

"And I guess the different sex available is also a head spinner?"

"I've found that I enjoy being the bottom with all of you. Not as much as I love being inside Cindy, but when Alexa..."

"She loves you," Emma stated bluntly, "I mean really loves you, Mark."

"I know. I love her too. But the love I have for her isn't the same as the love I have for Cindy. Therefore, that isn't fair on Alexa because she deserves someone who will love her wholeheartedly."

Georgie hugged me again. "You're a good man, Mark. That's why we all love being with you too." Kissing my cheek, she wished me goodnight, hugged and kissed Emma goodnight, before she slid into her car and drove off into night.

Emma stood in front of me, the pair of us alone in the near darkness, only the nearby streetlight providing any real illumination. "I've known Cindy for years, Mark. She's never been so happy. And she's never lied about the agreement we all had. If I'd met you instead of her, you'd have still met Cindy and had fun."

"I honestly couldn't imagine my life with her now." Taking her hands in mine, I had to ask, "How do you feel about me? I mean, we see each other every so often, I'd consider you a good friend, as much as all of Cindy's friends. But..."

There was no missing the colour in her cheeks. "I like you a hell of a lot, Mark. You've accepted all of us without question, without hesitation. Then add to the fact the sex we've shared has been fantastic. I honestly hope it doesn't stop. I'm not sure what Cindy wants once you get married. I'm not sure she knows what she wants just yet. I don't think she'll know until you propose or perhaps closer to your eventual wedding. Hand on heart, what would you like to do?"

"As long as I don't do anything that hurts her, I really don't mind. I've struggled in my head about my sexuality in the past couple of weeks because, I'm sure you know, I've been on the receiving end more often than not, particularly when I have some fun with Alexa."

"And you're feeling weird about it?"

"It comes back to social conditioning and expectations, and the labels that comes with participating in certain sexual acts."

"Okay, simple question then. Do you think you're still heterosexual?"

"Hand on heart, between you and me, not quite as straight as I thought I was, I guess. At least, I don't think so. I think my thinking changed after that special weekend we all had together."

"But you still consider all of us women?"

"Of course. Nothing will change my mind about that, unless you de-transitioned and identified as men again. I would lose my attraction because, well, I see you as a woman right now, Emma. But if you were to become Eric, for example, grew a beard, presented as masculine, and were basically a man, I wouldn't be attracted at all. Male physical characteristics don't appeal. Well, except for one, but even that attraction is based on the fact it's attached to someone identifying as a woman." I trailed off and sighed. "No wonder Mike was calling it a minefield," I muttered, "But I know it's not easy for you either."

"It isn't but we make the best of it we can. Having people like you to support us, to show us love, helps us tremendously. You have no idea how much Cindy just flat out respects you for accepting her as she is. Add to that her feelings of near unconditional love nowadays, and she is devoted to you, Mark."

"As much as I am to her," I replied softly.

"The only suggestion I can make is that you just talk to her about what you're thinking. Don't let anyone else influence what either of you want. Don't let what people or society's judgement impact on how you want to live your life. I know it's easy to say 'Fuck what other people think', but at the end of the day, what matters is your own happiness. Yours and hers as individuals, then your happiness together."

We shared a long cuddle before she disappeared. Kissing my cheek, she just asked me to keep looking after Cindy on her behalf. I assured her in return that she was welcome to visit anytime, and that more fun together would always be possible. When asking if I'd have fun with her without Cindy, I admitted doing at our apartment would feel weird, but perhaps at her studio, maybe when getting a wax job, wouldn't be out of the question.

Heading upstairs, Cindy was still waiting naked on bed, Emma having sent her a message, letting her know I was enjoying conversations with them both before they went home. Taking off my shorts, I joined Cindy on the bed as she turned over onto her knees, amused to see she'd been busy while I was gone, as she'd quite obviously already lubed herself up. Turning around on her front, she got to her knees as she leaned up to kiss me. Sliding my tongue into her mouth, she pressed her body into mine, my fingers trailing down the smooth skin on her back, enjoying the soft moan she released into my mouth, neither of us wanting to break the kiss until we needed to catch our breath.

"I'll be your wife," she whispered.

Gently caressing her cheek, that smile made my heart beat a little faster. "I'll be your husband," I whispered back.

"I've dreamed about it for so long, Mark. A man to sweep me off my feet, make me his as much as he'd be mine." Kissing her softly, she asked, "Did you find any rings you liked?"

"I did, but I want it to be perfect. It's not something I want to rush."