All Comments on 'An Affair of Revenge: Ch. 03 - Final'

NO... Andrew comes to his ex wife's house with a gun, shoots the lock off, and enters uninvited, assaulting Mike in the process? And Andrew doesn't get jail time? There a boatload of actions canceling each other out. Mike chops up Andrew's manhood, so what? Andrew made death threats the night before against Mike and had to be driven off at gun point by Vanessa. Andrew's coming back with a gun yelling for Mike puts Mike in jeopardy. It was self defense, screw Andrew and his civil suit. He got injured attempting to murder Mike!

As far as Jennifer? Poor judgment on Mike AND Jennifer's part. She was at least "of age" and responsible for her own consensual actions. She seduced Mike as much as he let her get to him. None of that should have a bearing in court. Except for Mike's stupid video he sent without Jennifer's knowledge.

And how did Vanessa not get jail time? She shot Mike in the back, a guest in her home. Being attacked by her ex husband with a gun. Any cop would have told Mike that if someone was trying to kill him that he should fight untill his attacker could not fight back. What Vanessa did could be considered attempted murder, just like Andrew's attack. Again, Vanessa and Andrew's anger about Mike having consensual sex with Jennifer should be mute. It is not a valid excuse to try and kill Mike. Mike's defending himself against Andrew was not a valid reason for Vanessa shooting him, especially in the back.

Mike got screwed over big time. Lillian should meet someone in a dark alley and get an adjustment to her attitude.

nope, forensics would have shown andrew shot out the door and entered the house illegally

this is actually pretty good. In the end, revenge will always devolve to everyone getting hurt. Still better than just you getting hurt. plus even with the 15, its hilarious that Andrew will never fuck again and his family is completely broken

This was a 5.

The characters were complex and I'm left frustrated that it finished so succinctly and rightly.

Great job!!!

This is a 4 at best. Everyone is an asshole in it except Jennifer. No away there are not different trial results unless Barney Fife did the whole investigation.

Twisting logic at the end of the story to justify the epilogue made the story pretty bad. Andrew should have also gone to prison. He was there in an attempt to murder Mike. Vanessa should have been charged with assault.

Somehow the cops didn't get that Andrew had tried to kill Mike with a gun. He deserved everything he got but Mattison still need punishment. Maria, Jennifer and Vanessa didn't deserve what happened to them. Andrew and Liliana started all of this.

I've got it! Mike is black! That's why he's the one in prison for not doing anything wrong! Heh gotta get up pretty early if you wanna pull a fast one on Mr Wavedave. My minds like a friggen laser dusted with cocaine, a redbull iv, and blessed by every action movie star from 1987 to 1994.

This is high on the list of promising storylines that fell apart fast. This last installment was utter garbage. Shaggy dog story level of and then and then and then…

The actual writing is fine, the plot and actions are drivel.

I dont believe Mike should have gone to jail as it was self-defense. He also should not have had to pay Andrew as it was self-defense. If Vanessa wouldn't attest to that, why wouldn't Jennifer? I understand you were trying to appease those who didn't like Mike's moral lapses. And agree he deserved something, but not things as big as that.

I dont understand the portrayal of Liliana here. In the beginning of the story it seemed they had a good sex life prior to Andrew. Why would she turn so easily on Mike? We never learn why the affair started? Did she feel guilt? Was she going to ever end it?

And then the revelation she slept with 10 or 11 guys?! WHY?! Just because he was out of shape? And what was with her excuse about him not making her climax? He HAD been able to before Andrew, as he pointed out!

I wish you could have focused more on Liliana's affair rather than all that Mike was doing. (Even though he's the MC lol.) I mean all in all they were happy until the last year or two right? Then Liliana just becomes a slut?

And also, I understand that you wanted to show that Mike received consequences, but this was WAY too much. Losing his job, home, doing bad in the divorce, even losing his freedom. I mean yes, he shouldn't have gone after Andrew's family, but come on. He didn't rape them. I do feel he should feel guilty and try to make amends to Marla, Jennifer and Vanessa. But he still deserved to come out in better shape than this.

I mean did Liliana get any real consequences? She does better in the divorce and....that's it? She doesn't decide to beg forgiveness or go to counseling? No, she all of a sudden has zero love for him and starts tormenting him with her sexual escapades. That last video was particularly cruel. I just don't understand the character shifts in this chapter. Hers especially.

Maybe you could do a version of this story from her point-of-view and also let us know what happened after this story. I may be crazy but I hope she still loved and wanted Mike and does not get a happy ending. Unless of course they somehow reconcile, which I know most readers won't want.

Thanks for writing though and being so responsive with us. It is MUCH appreciated. :)

Well, I think the MC did deserved what happened to him?

But I'm wondering why there was no consideration of self-defense for him when Andrew was the aggressor with a gun in hand?

Maybe someone from the comments can enlighten me.

It is implicit that Vanessa and Andrew (who regularly comes over to pick up his daughter at Vanessa's house), both corroborated the story that Mike was trespassing. Mike was too defeated and guilt-ridden in the end to do overtly-defend himself.

I've submitted a minor edit to the story, currently in review, clarifying the point about Vanessa and Andrew in regard's to Mike's self-defense.

Liliana, Mattison and Vanessa walked. Apparently you want the readers to feel this somehow tells a realistic outcome? Total fairytale. Vanessa and Andrew go to jail in real life. Mattison and Liliana needed to receive major payback as the instigators. No likeable characters in this tale.

The attempt to murder Mike should have gotten Andrew time, but comments are right, the epilogue ruined it, and so did him fucking Marla, if he just fucked Vanessa, probably would have been better, now Mattison and Lilian walk away scot free, the cheater never got her comeuppance, sure, she lost Andrew, but still had Mattison as noted and also the whole "I miss you" thing was just dumb.

Why feel guilty? The ending is what it is just technically off. He shot the door open mike feared for his life. He did not need corroboration from Vanessa. He could of been had for once the threat is eliminated he continued. Also Vanessa would of been in some hot water as well as she shot him. She could of walked but it's not as easy as he was trespassing although I was letting him live her so I shot him. Also again he showed up with a weapon a shitty public defender would of got this plead down to way less the aggravated assault. Probably battery. A civil case well that's out there a little as if you go after a guy and have a gun and he cuts your dick off with a knife your not getting paid if he wouldn't of discharged the gun maybe. Like the moral of the story. The writing was good the ending set up was just wonky for US law anyway. Can't figure out why he feels so bad he spun out after literally everyone was shitting on him.

Glad it's over!

4

This last chapter was a mixture of events that had no organization. I realize that you tried to portray a chaotic chain of events but it went off the rails as the M/C lost his mind. That being said the first 2 chapters were a 4/5 the last one 2.5. One last thought...Why did Lillian and Mattison skate. Why didn't the M'C go straight after Lillian and his friends. Maybe dump Andrew's body and beat the fuck out of Mattison.

MC was too much of a fucking idiot. 1* everyone in this story was an asshole

The moral of this tale: the evil cheater wife always wins and the poor cheated husband always lose. If the husband accept the cheating then he's a wimp cuckold; if the husband react to the cheating, then he gets fried alive, so... be a submissive puppy or you'll pay very dearly. This is the moral of too many irrealistic and awful tales.

And that's the main reason why this tale serie went down and down in the readers evaluation: 3,98, 3,72 and now 3,17. Too many tales without Justice in this LW category, but the few ones with a well balanced plot, almost always, quickly reach a really good score.

Mike didn't shoot the lock off. Mike never fired a gun

The people who did would have to answer for it.

This story sucks on so many levels. 1-Andrew with ac12” dick. 2-Mike fucking Maria, ruining her marriage. 3-Mike fucking Jennifer. 4-Mike being in jail for attacking Andrew, when Andrew was the attacker / instigator. I’m sure there’s more.

A little too much even before Stella.

This series was actually going ok till you took the left turn in this 3rd chapter. Its almost as if you purposefully took every which way this story could end badly and tried to force into 1 lage as quickly as possible. Like shoving 10lbs of poop in a 5lb bag. Serious inconsistencies with the characters. Hopefully youll do better next time.

Enjoyed the story. This is one instance where I think jail probably saved his life. From chapter 1, he was slowly unraveling. Having sex with Andrew's married mom, the anger issues, turning to alcohol & drugs, drunk driving, getting fired, having sex with Jennifer, who he's known since birth, poor impulse control (sending the sex videos). All these things led to his downfall. He'll still be somewhat young when he gets out, and hopefully a little wiser. As for whether he should have actually gone to jail....well, the police would have investigated then turned their findings to the D.A., who would decide whether or not to prosecute. Then it's up to his lawyer to make his case, then in the hands of the jury. Who knows what Vanessa & Jennifer & Andrew told the police. One might argue that Andrew was trying to protect his daughter. Or that one stab was enough, more than that was overkill, especially mutilating Andrew's genitalia. Also, different laws for different states. Anyway, looking forward to reading more from this author.

All in all, pretty good

I’m not much for stroke stories, but I thought the ending was very good,

What a bunch of fucked up characters.

Keep writing

Chilley

Decent story at first, then got to unrealistic dick sizes even for a fantasy story, then seemed to go out of its way to make the MC a bastard and punish him. Nobody was likable in this story, not the wife, not the friends, not the friends ex-wife, and certainly not the main character and he was probably the most sympathetic even with sleeping with the friend's mom and daughter sad as that is to stay. The author has talent but kinda ruined this otherwise decent story by going for an ultra depressing dour ending. The fun thing about fantasy stories with unrealistic 12 inch dongs is you can have good endings that feel satisfying. Low score for this chapter, 4 for previous two.

This is a serious LW story. But it reads as satire. Much like real life emotionally motivated characters cause unintended comedy, tragedy 🎭.

Gave you 5⭐️s. This was a wild ride! I'm

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AMerryman

@RTR10, thank you. That's the entire point that everyone is hung up on. Andrew and Vanessa were both obviously going to be reeling from the fact that Mike slept with their daughter. Mike isn't a resident in the house. He's sleeping in a guest room.

It's not a far reach that Vanessa and Andrew, two people who share the same disdain for Mike as a result of him sleeping with their daughter, would devise a story that Mike was trespassing and they did what needed to be done to protect their daughter.

Responding to this comment: "Mike didn't shoot the lock off. Mike never fired a gun. The people who did would have to answer for it."

Think of it this way. Police come to the scene. Andrew is laying in a pool of blood, completely mutilated. Vanessa, angry at Mike for sleeping with her daughter, tells the cops that Mike was acting erratically in her house, waving a knife around, and that Andrew blew through the door so he could get into the house to protect his daughter.

Andrew shooting the lock off the door pales in comparison to having his manhood mutilated. The police are probably thinking "Yeah, it seems plausible that Andrew shot the door off to enter the house because his daughter is in there, and then he got desecrated by this deranged man."

It's shortsighted to say that Andrew would unequivocally go to jail in this situation. As if him and Vanessa can't think for themselves or make up a plausible story. They were both affected by Mike taking advantage of their daughter; they both have motive to cover up the truth. Since when does self defense consist of stabbing someone's d*ck repeatedly after already neutralizing the threat by stabbing him on his side? Who would look at this scene and think self defense is 100% probable?

Seems like there's a bit of an echo chamber effect happening in the comments around this particular topic. Despite that, feedback is always appreciated. I submitted a slight edit to the story to clarify this point a bit more for readers - it should be live in a couple days after. To everyone with constructive critique, thank you for taking the time to read the story and write thoughtful comments.

JENNIFER could have told the truth of what really happened. There was no reason for Mike to go to prison or have to pay Andrew.

Just read this series - I really need a hot shower to wash the grime of this story off me...

Very good twisted story. As morally horrible it is that he was with the 20 year old. It’s not illegal and it was with consent. Technically he acted in self-defense. Guy shut the door open trying to kill him. Probably should’ve got off on something even less than the 15. It also shouldn’t have affected his divorce still should’ve got half of the house as well. He’s basically guilty of being a lowlife tired of the two women that he was sleeping with a video. still should’ve got half of the house as well. He’s basically guilty of being a lowlife tired of the two women that he was sleeping with and videoing for revenge but he didn’t do anything illegal like post. It just sent it to one person.

"JENNIFER could have told the truth of what really happened. There was no reason for Mike to go to prison or have to pay Andrew."

You're a 20 year old girl who just saw your dad, who was being protective of you, get brutally butchered by the guy you slept with last night. You think I should've wrote it so that she would defend Mike over her dad? Agree to disagree on that one!

So if the @mrgrieves4477 is alluding that Vanessa had made statements alluding to Mike being the instigator and getting crazy while Vanessa defending Andrew as being there to protect Jennifer, a very smart lawyer would have find out the angle of Andrew having sex with Mike's wife and that Vanessa knew about this and the smart lawyer would have grilled Vanessa AND especially Jennifer on the stand (make Jennifer admit that sex with Mike was consensual, she's 20 yrs old for heaven's sake) and wrung some truth out of them that might throw some doubts to the veracity of Vanessa and Andrew's collaborated story. But I guess the author had a below-average, maybe a tired public attorney as Mike's defender.

@Mac_Lapu, Mike says he pleaded down, implying there was no trial. He says "I didn't feel right [asking Vanessa for help]" which clearly indicates he took his punishment without attempting to fight it further; he welcomed the punishment at this point.

Everybody in this story is trash

When he get out of prison in seven more years, he needs to look up three people that fucked him over. To take his final revenge on them, put them all 6 feet under. After all if they hadn't Lie to the police and the Court, no body Probably Would have gone to prison, so they owe his their lives!!

I don't believe the story should have ended that way. It was all Justified revenge on his side!!

@mrgrieves4477 - "Mike isn't a resident in the house. He's sleeping in a guest room."

His name may not be on the lease/deed, but by your own admission he was at least a temporary resident in the house.

Mike was a piece of shit and deserved to be cheated on. He has no excuses for any of his behaviour, the peoples lives he destroyed were just as valuable as his. The only two people he should have gone after were his wife and Andrew, collateral damage of innocent people in this is unforgivable.

That he was fat, an alcoholic and taking drugs, means his life wasn't worth anything and he deserved to be cucked.

BTW Jenn was 19 an adult, so what she did is up to her and no one else. That's the same for who she spent her time with (parents) to who she decided to have sex with, which I'm guessing was a lot of people if she have sex with a fat out of shape drug addicted alcoholic.

This is a very poor story, stories should be about ppl that you can give a shit about not worthless excrement.

So funny to see the author defending his decision to make the daughter side with the dad. It's almost as if he doesn't recognise that this is one massive dysfunctional mess where every single person, even Vanessa, is pretty despicable and outside the moral realms of normal society. That Jenn didn't stand up for him and lied for the sake of her worthless dad just goes to show how morally bankrupt everyone in this story is.

This may have been the most fucked up tale I've ever read.

Dumb story.

Reading the comments, it's easy to see you riled up the experts. Regardless of how everyone feels about these characters, you effectively developed some despicable people and wove a colorful tale. Interesting how everyone felt their actions were justified.

I thought you did a good job.

Nice to have friends, what an idiot . Chick story. WOKE-ish female empowerment and man hate.

wow making everyone talk so that's a great wacky heavy story. 5 stars

I kinda want to see a sequel to this series: one that takes place a few years after Mike’s sentencing ends, where Mike comes to the realization that he can never truly move on from his past until he truly gets his revenge on everyone who he feels betrayed him (Andrew, Vanessa, Liliana, and Mattison)

Stupid

The giant dick trope is just laughable, and all the rest is equally stupid. The MC has the opportunity to take revenge, he could have drugged and cut Andrew's dick in half, as that seems to be his only feature of interest that'd be punishment enough.

But no, instead he has to go and fuck some old trash, ruin families and make himself the object of ridicule and hate. What a brainiac.

Hard to care about lowlife trailer trash. No redeeming factors to any of the characters. All of them are despicable people who's removal from this planet could only be a benefit.

Damn but that was awful!

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2 **

What a piece of garbage-yeah, both the story and the MC.

Why did I bother with this CRAP?

In any state of the U.S., Andrew shooting the lock of Vanessa’s home is breaking and entering. Using a weapons trumps it to a felony. In most states the occupants of the home have the right to self defense. Mike doing what he did, using the knife was justifiable force in any courtroom, especially after Andrew threatened him, in a “Bellowing voice” outside the home, and shooting the firearm to gain entry. It would be self defense, especially after Andrew fired the weapon, and entered the home. Also, Vanessa would be charged with a felony for shooting Mike. Complete bullshit ending.

Should have been more pain for the wife who caused it in the first place.4****

no winners here .

Enjoyed the story until the end. Andrew shot the lock off and entered the house. Yet the MC was convicted. I agree sleeping with Marla and Jenn was over the top, but the MC was the only one to be punished. The wife started this whole thing by sleeping around. She should have felt some of the pain also

sad when a good story ends up with a shit ending...

Yes, wife was a trailer trash slut and probably a whore too. I can't believe she was surprised that she got served after confessing to so many affairs. What kind of delusional world does she live in?