by skodaw
Read the first one, was great except for quotations.
In this bran spanking new one it had everything! I'm can't wait for the next one.
More! More! MORE! This is shaping up to be a great classic story of brother-sister love! This story is building slowly, and it has "sometging to say". It isn't your run-of-the-mill "stroke fantasy" story.
The sibs are warm, and truly love each other. Either they will undergo a period of self-examination, like I did, or end up splitting up to marry others and be truly miserable. Like I didn't!
Keep This Cumming!!!!!!
great story,how come all brothers & sisters can't get along like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry some of your readers are not smart enough to read without "---" marks. still a good story and good read!
as one other reader said to your in your initial installment: quotation marks are your friends; they make reading easier.
writing without quotes is an experimentation; countless have tried. it's just not very conducive to reading.
but the goal for telling a story is to convey, as clear as possible, what the story is, to the readership; you are not making a statement: I am experimenting and if you don't like it, screw you!
anyway, the story is very nice, with both siblings showing some reality-based awareness. keep it simple, innocent-ish, and don't drag it into group things, masodominitrix of whatever; many people write those stories and no more than a few read them.
remember that the genre/taboo is forbidden and, therefore, "exciting" enough, if written well. and so far it's been a good, simple, taboo story. keep it that way.
ur story good.pls do write more. but, i would very like to if u wrote true stories.