All Comments on 'An Angry Man'

Well-crafted, well-written, interesting characters, fast-moving plot. Thoroughly enjoyed it, and it left me feeling good. Bravo.

I've heard the only way to keep a secret is to share it with no one else!

5

A very nice story. I enjoyed . AAAAAA++++++

Wow! Much better than the average "I'm sorry but I'm going to have him" story. I really liked the ending, including the telegraphing by mentioning the phone transfer. It wasn't fully a reveal but we knew it was coming. Outstanding!

i know what "BTB" means.

what does "RAAC" mean?

obviously a proud graduate of the President Biden school of gun safety. a .30 caliber, WW2 vintage, Italian rifle would be the Carcano. Really, really wimpy excuse for a .30 caliber rifle. only cartridges on the market would be full metal jacket. make a nice, neat entrance and exit wound even if it hit ribs or the heart. Nobody's chest will explode. the chest is full of lungs which are full of air.

Good story.

Grindelwald, raac is reconciliation at all cost, I believe

Meh.

Fun and entertaining read.

Having Ted initially react stoically and then immediately find love with Nora really limited any emotional impact for this story.

Cara didn't really suffer much in the way of consequences.

As alway..loved it D.

Thanks...very good read. Slick742

Wow! Now what do I do?

I have given out quite a few 5*s. I I supposed to find them and down grade them each to 4?

This story was.... perfect.

Not too long or too short.

Perfectly paced.

Full of tension from beginning to end.

A story I might be able to read again.

(I really seldom read a story twice or watch a movie again.)

This was crafted in a masterful fashion!

Great work!

Obviously 5*!

One of the better LW stories this year. Well thought out if a bit fantastical. Thank you for writing

@Grendelpuppy, not sure if the chest would explode, authors creative license. That said the rifle was crap but the round was somewhat adequate,if a bit light for it's purpose. The tumbling factor would cause a larger wound than a bullet of this weight and size normally would.

"the Modello 1938, together with a new cartridge in 7.35×51mm caliber. In addition to the slightly larger caliber, Italian ordnance designers introduced a spitzer-type bullet for the new cartridge, with the tip filled with aluminum to produce an unstable (tumbling) projectile upon impact with soft tissue (a design most likely copied from the .303 British Mk VII bullet)." Though as you know the round never met expectations of the Italian ordinance. But as you know,, in the end, dead is dead

True friends (Robin and Miles).

I usually don’t like the kind of solution that the Angry Man employed, but it worked in this story. The perp would have continued messing up people’s lives and Angry Man put a stop to that. I kind of liked the healthy relationship between the ex and the new wife - that is unusual but the author made it work credibly. The soccer connection with the daughters also worked. Good story.

I enjoyed this story. Well-written, flowed well. 5 stars.

Well done! Entertaining from beginning to end. 5 stars for sure!

Really well done. Feel like I got to know the characters. This is not a “but”. I think this could really be expanded into a larger piece, maybe even a novel. Great job.

LW checklist:

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1.) Hubby has at least $1 million at time of separation: UNKNOWN, but probable

2.) Hubby has ironclad prenup: CHECK

3.) Hubby has new sex partner within 72 hours of separation: CHECK

4.) Wifey gets burned: CHECK

5.) Kids hate wifey: CHECK

6.) Pizza is eaten at least twice. CHECK

7.) At least two showers are taken per page. CHECK

6.) Wifey's paramour is a despicable cad: CHECK

8.) Wifey is miserable forever after: CHECK

9.) Hubby makes some gesture of inclusion to wifey: CHECK

10.) Hubby lives in ecstatic bliss forever after: CHECK

Nice one.

5 stars

Grendelpuppy

Reconciliation at any cost, they are usually God awful stories.

Did not like this tale so much

3/5

Good

An interesting well written story.

There are two bad people in this story:

1.the predator who enjoyed fucking with families (+2 stars for ending him AND zero consequences for main hero for that);

2. ... and the betraying "loving" wife (-2 stars for having her basically get off 100% scott free - not asking for BTB, but she basically won 100% - she keeps her house, her children, not only keeps her job but gets a big raise/promotion, gets great relationship with the ex husband AND his new wife. She basically suffered absolutely zero punishment for her betrayal aside from a couple of nightmares from the hit on her boss.

This could easily have been a 5 star story, if the ex husband didn't feel some absolutely mind boggling need to be nice to the crap woman and treat her 1000% better than she deserved. SHE is the one who vowed fidelity to her husband, not her boss. As it is, it gets 3 stars, and only because of happy end for main character.

For Grendelpuppy, I think you should google Carcano ammunition. You might learn something. Enjoy your

work, anyway.

Nice, 5*

On page three. Just had to say, to peddle is to sell. To pedal is the make a bike go. Answer the question below, RAAC is to reconcile at any cost, opposite to BTB. Back to page three now. JPB

Cara got off relatively unscathed

We could tear it apart at the seams but compare to the latest offering on LW, its a shining light.

Okay story. Four stars. I did enjoy it. JPB

@Grendelpuppy, sincere wishes that your dreams come true. May you and all those you care for live in times made interesting by the love of guns, mass murder and the mutilated bodies of children. Enjoy your upcoming vacation in Uvalde.

Boy, all's well at the end then.

Everybody got what they wanted.

It was better Ted divorced Cara.

Cara was the the one who got more prizes though.

She got Diamond, now she got a job, she got Miranda giving her boy-toys

What a winner. No consequences at all.

She only risked a marriage. Now she got it all

But Ted was a loser in this one, he didn't have to kill Diamond.

Now he is a murderer for life. If he doesn't confess his sin, Diamond is waiting for him in Hell. I I don't have to like the story.

Garbage ending. Cara lost nothing. Kept her job, dropped her husband who she said she was bored with, lives in a mansion, and bangs guys who give her so many orgasms it slays her. You also have her brag about it to the ex husband’s new wife and they’re friends? No bueno cuck

Wife was worse person than her boss. He didn't have children with her husband and he hadn't pledged fidelity. Ended up rich and successful and alive. Wrong person suffered. TC Ireland

@grendelpuppy I don’t like to mix politics and my stroke stories. Save the gun lesson, gravy seal.

Not bad, though the ‘all friends now happy clappy’ ending took the largest amount of suspension of disbelief.

Just as an aside and completely off topic, I can’t help wondering that considering the USA is supposedly such an advanced country why is that in a hell of a lot of these stories, even the most expensive houses still only have a shower fed from a tank that eventually runs out when continuous hot water is the norm in practically every country in the western hemisphere. Just sayin.

I may have so issues(ya think) but this is the way all in your face affairs should end. Cars…revenge what is the point? She had issues before the affair and he was better off without her. Also her experiencing some “payback” might have clouded the kill.

Pretty good writing, but some errors (e.g., Nora/Norma). None of the characters were particularly well fleshed out, but the story was long enough as is. For all the action, I never felt any emotional reaction…and didn’t really care about any of the characters.

Your stories keeps improving the more you write. This one is the best so far. I hate to pick nits but one "pedals" a bike unless one wants to sell "peddle" it. Thanks for a great story.

I really enjoyed this. The story line is intriguing. There is just enough character development to engage the reader. The writing style is easy on the mind, and so economical with words. In that way, it reminds me of a Dick Francis novel. I intend to read the rest of your stories, Demander. Thank you for the free read!

Bryon got his. Cara keeps getting hers, but hers should have been nearly the same as Byron. Nora got hers, too, two babies, two step daughters, and a husband that loves her. She will also keep her legs closed...

First half was very good, felt second half unlikely to happen. Don't have an alternate version so I will keep criticism to myself. Good enough for 4 ****

Enjoyed this story. The only missing opportunity is that the wife should have known or at least suspected that the husband was the shooter. I am glad Robin figured it out.

My only complaint is that I don't think a man who loved his wife could take up with another woman on the same night his wife went to another man. I think the pain would cripple him emotionally. And I doubt the kids could accept the new woman as quickly. However, it was a darn good story and a good man won.

At least this guy knows about Onstar and cell phone tracking etc, unlike the state prisoner Merdaugh

why reference the demoncratic party, or any corrupt politico organised crime syndicat

2 stars and that is a stetch

Grest story! Few authors here know the difference between "who" and "whom". Now straighten out your usage of "good" and "well". The IR element polluted the story with a hoary LW cliche, an unforced error. Overall, though a creative plot and a very good read.

Great story. Boy toy bs was random but no big deal. Two things for next time.

If hubby has a very successful business, why is she someone else’s. EA? Could be reasons but it’s odd enough it could/should be addressed.

Rifle round to the chest doesn’t splatter blood at entry. If it’s a hollow point and manages to go through, then out the back could be a mess.

One more thing, when Nora asked what the boy toys looked like, I’d have bailed.

Fine until the end when you made Miranda into a pimp and whore and then you piled on with the phone garbage and love for Robin crap. As far as Robin knows her husband simply handed the phone back to Ted after he showed Miles something. A leap to murder was an assumption at best, ridulous at worst.

You pedal a bicycle. You peddle your wares at the market.

Read like a story from 60 Minutes or the old Dragnet series. Just the facts sir, just the facts.

This is a damn good story. Thank you for writing it.

Excellent story, five stars!

Very good. I liked that Ted’s decision was quick and independent of his sniper action. He started moving on the first night in the guest house. Even if Cara called it off she’d already done heavy damage, and he’d never trust that it wasn’t happening behind his back.

Another point: in most marriages he best quality time is when not working- on the weekends. So there was none of that ‘you haven’t lost anything’ garbage. She gave away his best time.

The only thing he could have done differently was to work really late and not eat meals with her. Even that could only happen while the girls were away,

Little convoluted at times, but I liked it. 5*

Enjoyable. Would have liked Cara to get shot too but it would have crimped the story and Ted would have been done for. She didn't deserve her good outcome.

I love it. 5 Stars

Good writing, decent plot, fair-to-middling characterizations, the limitations of a short story forced you to compress the development of relationships into an unreaslistic timeline, but all-in-all a pretty nice story. Except. You started off conjuring sad and ugly memories because Lee Harvey Oswald used a WWII Italian bolt-action rifle—a 6.5mm Mannlicher-Carcano—to assassinate John Kennedy. Those of us old enough to remember November 22, 1963 can't escape those memories, so your star count started out in the hole, wound up at 3. Your other stories fared much better though, you write well.

I do always like when the thief in the night gets his lights put out. 5 stars for that alone.

Very good!

Really good but Cara got off too lightly. 4 stars

Too bad the wife still gets hers.

Good story.

I like it -- but murder is one thing I cannot give a 5.

"But I have to do it," - Why does she HAVE to do it?

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"this was something she wanted to do" - So, she doesn't HAVE to do it.

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"She was confident that Ted and she could cope, somehow." - Could SHE cope if things were reversed?

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"She was momentarily overcome with love for him. She fought that off." - Jeez, she has to fight off her love for her husband?

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"She's had visions of a nice night of lovemaking to end this phase of their marriage." - "End this phase of their marriage?" She should expect that it will end their marriage, period.

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Nora becomes Norma, then back to Nora?

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"You must have had her ready to go." - Just like she had Byron ready to go. He hadn't even kissed Nora before.

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"This night he intended to test out the sound augmentation device." - He had already tested it on her second weekend.

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"And maybe you will have a job." - Byron was her boss, she can sue for harassment even if she ISN'T fired, but especially if she is.

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Needs editing: "You're one of the world's major assholes, By. A real jerk." "Cara stepped not the room," "

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"Miranda had given her a big raise in salary." - A "big" raise? Not very likely.

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"Why hadn't she done this before?" - Um, because she was married?

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Cara was Nicki's mother?

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@Anonymous Re: LW checklist - Don't forget lasagna!

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I was wondering about the significance of Miles having Ted's phone, then realized that if they could track his phone after the fact (don't know if that's possible) they would see that it hadn't been near the crime scene.

I love a good BTB .

This started out really good; plotting and characterization have improved immensely from your earliest stories.

The ending was all over the place, however.

3 stars.

As always, it’s very well written, but yet another of your stories that I just didn’t care for at all.

Of characters in this are moral or upright except maybe the daughters but that would change also. Not as good as you normally do.

I always surprised to see husband stand the sight their wife in the stories, even after the wives deliberately fuck another man and run it in their face.

Killing the asshole predator is an automatic 5. Thanks for the effort. Cara deserves to have a shitty life, and I can't wait. Men age like wine, women age like cheese. While Nora is playing with her children and eventual grand children Cara will be trying to get sober or recover from her next venereal disease. And she'll always think that her husband blew her lover's guts out right in front of her, and she'll always have a grudging respect for that.

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Thanks again.

I never understand so much anger against the interloper but less anger toward the cheater.

Sorry, it isn't that easy to get away with murder.

Loved the story. A little unrealistic maybe, we live in a strange world. I gave it 5 stars. I really liked where Robin told Ted why she chose Miles, that Ted has an inner anger. That inner anger made me think of the smile Ted gave Cara as he was thinking of the rifle.

"Lee Harvey Oswald used...to kill..."

Did he? I thought that "official version" and many other "peculiar" events from US history were already "explained".

Seems like fairly tales are still the choice over harsh realities.

Kind of ambivalent sentiments about this one. Cara was a slut, but her sluttiness made her (probably literally) dodge a bullet. Nora did nothing wrong but ended up tied to the psycho killer. Sucks to be Nora, she will suffer. Cara, on the other hand, is free.

Most say unrealistic, some wonder why him and not her also. Well, he really didn't care that she was a whore. I mean once she made her statement he was done with her. It was the disrespect that got the idiot killed. His comments sealed his doom. Just a warning to all the entitled assholes out there. Be very very careful what shit you think you can do. You fuck with the wrong man and all the money in world will not save your sorry ass. Don't blame the husband at all. Would have done the same thing without a single regret. The comment about counseling at the end was unnecessary, accept who you are and own it. You don't need some soft shell headshrinker to understand that some diseases need to be removed and destroyed. Just think of your actions as cleaning up the society that we all have to live in.

Think my attitude toward what happened is to blase, Not what should be accepted? These morally corrupt assholes are out there.....It's a fact. They think they can do what they want with impunity, fact. There are people out there that will put a stop to their bullshit if crossed fact. Just a way to keep the balance in the world.

Very interesting story. ***** Loved the twists.

Good stuff…asshole got what he deserved.

Good story, thanks for the time and effort. KS

"Now those negative qualities had reached their apogee. It was sudden, but not out of character for her" I haven't finished this but I just came across this line and the text before it. This is EXACTLY the point I always make. Take the time to develop your antagonist wives in such a way that her behavior is plausible. Writing about a perfect marriage and perfect wife for a page and a half only to have her go out and fuck Mark Levallier is nothing more than a bunch of bullshit. That fact does not change no matter how many times anyone writes it.

Well done Demander.

I finished. I liked that you described possible flaws in Nora that foreshadow potential problems. It made the story believable. This was really well done Demander.

Not a fan of murder in these stories. Nonetheless, I did enjoy your writing. A fortunate outcome for all characters save one. Everyone’s enemy.

Best be careful the women you get involved with, married ones can be very dangerous, especially if you're the one not married to them. Good story, couldn't wait for the ending.......5 stars

Excellent. Straightforward. No stupid bullshit. Love the girls soccer part too. ND is elite in women’s soccer, so Nora is no joke as a player.

Ehh, I'm not a fan of murder stories🤷🏾‍♀️.. why was his punishment more severe than Cara's?.. at the end of the day, it was CARA who owed him loyalty, fidelity and respect🤔.. her boss owed him NOTHING🤌🏾.. he didn't force her.. he just saw a slut ready to be fuck'd, so he fuck'd her😏🤭.. why was death his punishment while she gets to continue with her life?. Why was the husbands anger aimed at her boss and not at her?. SHE made promises to him 16yrs ago... SHE decided to break her promises. SHE decided fucking her boss was worth losing her husband and marriage over... the boss, although a total douche, didn't hold her at gun point and forced her to betray her marriage, her husband, their future.. that was ALL on her.. if it wasn't her boss it would've been someone else.. can't go around killing every man she willingly fucks.. wouldn't it just make sense to just divorce her and move tf on?😒.. why have someone's death on your heart?.. if he already was seeing a new woman, WHY even Kill her boss? Destroy them yes, kill him? No.. a slut isn't worth life in prison.. you can't care more about your marriage than your mate.. she didn't care.. even when she saw their relationship hadn't been the same since her little announcement, she STILL decided to go ahead with fucking her boss.. she just had to have him.. I never understand in these stories when the husband kills the man, and not the tramp who actually OWE'S them something.. he was nice to her which didn't make a lick of sense.. his anger should've been aimed at her..

Now that is entertainment 👏👏❗️

Demanded earned 5⭐️s with a well written story. I'm happy and

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AMerryman

Oh a good one, nice plot, well written and delivered

Miranda was a genius for keeping Cara. She had an open-and-shut case for workplace harassment (as did all the other women) and one for trauma from being so close to the shooting since it was at her boss' home. It was a good story, devoid of the worst of LW clichés and memes. OP missed a great opportunity to close with Miranda's two boy-toys being named Chad and Tyrone. Come on. You must've considered it, right?

Very good story. And well written, too. Certainly a very polarizing subject though. Does a man deserve to die for screwing another man’s wife? Depends on who you ask. Or maybe it depends on whose wife he screws. I believe it might happen a lot more often if more guys thought they could get away with it. And that’s probably the real fiction of the story, Ted getting away with it. Regardless, I liked the story, so thanks, demander. 5 stars.

Never ever talk to popo without your lawyer present. In Cops eyes you're guilty untill your proven innocent.

@Neostorb

Thank you for the history lesson. The 7.35mm cartridge does have the advantage of a spitzer type bullet that tends to reduce drag coefficient. However; when you start doing stupid stuff such as using an Aluminum tip, you create a ballistically unstable projectile that tends to tumble in flight long before impact. more importantly, the sectional density is greatly reduced and the ballistic coefficient sucks. accuracy will also suck so any rifle firing this cartridge will be unworthy of a scope.

the retained energy beyond a hundred yards is a joke.

The casual Cara sluttery with her boss and subsequent talks with Nora felt.. unnecessary, they didn't really add anything other than an extra sex scene that could have been done without.

Other than that a pretty decent story.

Cara got off too easy. She should have been shot as well.

Was really enjoying the story right up until you felt it necessary to give Cara a boytoy, she didn't deserve a happy ending and giving her both forgiveness and the insinuated future being a billionaires wingwoman to whore around. She didn't deserve either she acted with malicious intent feeling self-entitled feeding her narcissism, it felt very much like you just threw it in to pander to the feminists- your choice to do that caused my choice to give 1star instead of 5stars.

Well-written & mostly well-conceived. But I find significant incongruence! Sure the set-up is outrageous, with the predatory billionaire & PA wife cavalierly & egregiously going off to spend multiple weekends! So yes, major resentment & a plan for revenge might reasonably follow! But, given that our protagonist immediately lines up a replacement for wayward wifey, the murder of her lover is over-the-top demonic!

Hard to believe any woman would throw away marriage for player she had to know was just using her and could care less for price she would pay

Two things bother me about this story

First he kills Cara's boss mostly for disrespecting him while fucking Ted's wife.

What about Cara's disrespect by rubbing his nose in the fact she was going to fuck her boss and he would have to live with it.

Then after she is still part of his live.

Ted is smart enough to get away with murder, when is he going to get smart enough to work out that after Nora and his ex have their little talks she is always super horny, when is he going to work out they are talking about sex and it is Cara talking about how great her sex life is, when is he going to start worrying that Cara is making Nora think about how good it is to be fucking toy boys and if/ when Nora might get tempted to try it out for herself.

The only one to come out of this story smiling is Cara

Tags for this story are wrong Infidelity, consequences, ok I will give the consequences as poor Byron got murdered.

Bit hard done by being as she was as keen as mustard, if she had been forced, drugged, blackmailed into it yeah

meanwhile Cara the cheating slut wife ends up rewarded at the end of the story, she ends up keeping her job, a pay rise and a steady supply of boy toys to fuck all supplied by the wife of the man she wass cheating with and now she is grooming Teds wife Nora telling her how good her sex life is fucking all the toy boys.

sending her home to Ted extra horny.

How long before she decides she would like a go at it.

Poor Ted, best start looking around for another rifle