All Comments on 'An Erotic Tale Ch. 05'

You're killing me!!!

LOL.

Loved the chapter. Wow, sending that knife back to him was wicked creepy. Fab story line and I can't really get a good grip on who the stalker is... so great job there! Can't wait for the next chapter.

I was so excited when I saw this chapter post. It was absolutly cute. I CANNOT wait until the next chapter comes out. You are an amazing writer.

Love Always,

CassieJo <3

Nice buildup of suspense... I wonder if we've met all of the suspects!?

Carson is driving me CRAZY!! He digs into Mike's past but then pushes him away, meanwhile not practicing full disclosure either.. I understand self sufficiency, but he's got major trust issues

Thought it was Ron, now it looks like Jeremy. Love a good mystery! :)

Loving it but it'd be nice if you find an editor. There were so many mistakes that it distracted me from the story. Overall, great read!

Dunno about Mike and Carson though...seems that their relationship is not stable enough for them to confide in each other which I find very sad. I just don't know.

Yep, it's definitely Jeremy. I guess, what goes around comes around.

Cheers! (:

You write a good story that one wants to follow. Your characters are likeable and interesting but you make far too many errors. I mean this as a kind criticism with no malice intended. You have the potential to be a good author but you obviously need an editor. Authors are why editors exist. Editors can improve the flow and remove the distracting and annoying mistakes from your stories.

For my own part, it would be nice to see the story line develop so the bad guy isn't Jeremy. It seems so obvious it's him that it's like a cliche. A good storyteller can always leap beyond the red herring. Good luck and please keep on writing.

I'm enjoying this story. Enough have said to get an editor. Doesn't bare repeating. I do hope you will pull something where Jeremy is not the stalker. It would just be too obvious. I found myself relieved that Ron wasn't it, not because he didn't look like a good possibility but because it would be too obvious for him to be it. The 'slut' whispered at the attack wasn't him either.

I don't like how Carson and Mike are not trusting one another and are letting this put space between them. While Carson is right that letting something take over your freedom is wrong, this person has put him in the hospital and could have killed him. Now they were in his apt. and if they had stayed they could have killed him. He clearly is pretty stupid not going for the cell phone immediately upon realizing someone could be there TWICE. So, he should stop his pride and make himself safe.

I hope Jeremy is just something to upset the cookie jar but leads to them getting stronger and not stereotypically pulling them apart and leaving Carson open to attack. Is Carson gonna consider it could be him and call the police and say something? He sees the time table as being important because Mike could have been on the rebound rather than it being significant that he comes and takes what Jeremy wants and starts getting stalked? DUH!

Please don't make the characters turn stupid. Have Mike at least realize the danger and have him go to the police and ask if Jeremy could be looked into. I also don't get how Carson never saw him get a call from CArson if this guy was supposedly calling all the time to get him back. YOu should have said he was calling at the bar and this was the first time on the cell or something.

Well, I liked the appearance of Jeremy, as it spiced things up a bit but I hope that he isn't the stereotypical jealous ex out to hurt current bf and I think you can pull it off as far as surprising us with the person. Maybe it's Mandy, upset he's gay! LOL j/k. Great stuff and an editor will be able to clean it up as well as be someone to bounce stuff off of. Some of the great writers make the best editors. Look to some in this genre.

I am loving this story and am so looking forward to more! I know who I think the stalker is and it is not obvious or who others have mentioned! I want to know if I'm right - but am also just really enjoying the relationship between the two main characters! Don't make us wait too long for the next chapter, okay?

It really is too hypocritical of your readers to suggest you get an editor while they commit basic spelling and grammar mistakes in the comments.

Cannd "bare" as in doesn't "bare repeating" is spelt BEAR. As in a 'burden to bear'. FYI the furry growling mammal that shits in the woods is also spelt bear. Bare is something you do when you reveal yourself as in 'bare your soul' or when you strip off and go skinny dipping as in 'bare-assed'. See the difference?

hi please, please, please finish this.

.....for the next chapter! Will it be here soon?

Have been waiting for your next chapter for the past 7 months!~ Did you give up writing? We all miss your story!

it really pisses me off ive been sitting here reading this for hours and just when its getting to the best bit its fucking stopped...if you cant finish your stories till the end i think you shouldnt put them on the site.....i am completling gutted very pissed off jonathan......

I'm am sorry for the delay in posting the next chapter. I was in rural west-africa for the past 6 months working. As you can guess the internet connections there arent as sophisticated yet. Hopefully soon.

Thanks to everyone for all your comments.

To the angry anonymous (Jonathon?) My apologies, but the next chapter should hopefully be up by the end of this week. I have already submitted to Lit for posting.

Best wishes to all.

Don't apologize for doing what you need to do in your life. While I do wish the story had ended, which I hope it does in the next chapter, I will wait.

Yes, the next chapter will be the conclusion to this series. I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed my hand at this first amateurish foray into the literary world.

That was so good you should make it a novel.

Not kidding