All Comments on 'An Erotic Tale Ch. 06'

This story was just simply beautiful!

I loved it!!

Hope to see more stories from you in the future.

:)

If you are thinking of publishing a little more polishing is needed, especially grammar.

Things like mixing up his and he's, you use them in completely the opposite ways, which is endearing in a mate but unacceptable in an 'Author'. He's is short for he is etc, if you can't make sense of the sentence in the long form don't use it. His shows ownership, like his gut or his climax, get the difference? Check out Cia81's comments on Other side of the Bridge for a recommended grammar guide.

Really enjoyable and well thought out story. I love that you came up with an ending that I doubt any reader saw coming. But, at the same time that is something that can happen. I loved that you developed the characters and had them work through issues. You had a good balance of them having miscommunications and conflicts that you had cause problems but didn't let the story become annoying when a fairly simple thing is destroying a relationship. Many stories just cause frustration when you're yelling 'just tell him!' at the screen ;) Overall a great plot. I hope to see you write more. I agree that an editor would be a good idea. They could polish it up and a good story may as well be presented in the best possible form, but it didn't bother me that much b/c of the quality of the story. Keep writing

This story....my god...kept me on the edge for so long and then the end? So worth it!

GREAT STORY!!!!

A very well told story. Truly erotic and fun to read. You writing has given me pointers in how to tell a tale. Thank you.