All Comments on 'An impossible choice'

sad story

As I was reading, I was wondering why the rating was so low. The writing was good. The emotions were believable. But the suicide was not a compelling ending. I would have rather that he lived a good life and found happiness or misery. Or maybe became the child's shadow protector. Or tried to get her back. Anything other than suicide.

But good writing. Perhaps the next story can have some other resolution.

She did the right thing, saving her sister's life, and her husband made her feel bad about it, as if he should get to decide for her, yet its told in such a smarmy way to make us feel bad for the husband. No one should, she's better off without him.

Why is this in Literotica?

terribly sad.

A well written, different story. Thanks for posting it. I look forward to your next.

I wonder how John's parents must have felt when they saw their ex-daughter-in-law heavily pregnant when they were burying their son?

Interesting story. I have to say that i felt sorry for Shannon more than for John. Sure she should tell John first but she had a hard time to and it looks like John never thought how hard is all this for her and not only for him. Him killing him self because his ex was pregnant with another man just makes him look too weak, i mean he left her, did he think that she would be alone forever and it was little over the top for me. I don't know i just didn't really like John, i mean i get him but i find Shannon far more likeable.

Very sad!!

This is a very sad story.

Yeah, I hated it.

The wife aborts their baby, destroys their marriage, then gets to live happily ever after with a wonderful boyfriend and a new baby? The ex-husband stays heartbroken and alone, then kills himself when he sees she's moved on? The ending sucked!

You stated it was highly unlikely she'd ever get pregnant, then she gets knocked up twice in 3 years? A much better ending would have been Shannon never getting pregnant again, making her choice to sacrifice her baby to save her sister far more poignant. Shannon was a complete wreck after the divorce, I can't believe she'd just bounce back two years after that!

It should have been John that moved on. He should have met another woman, started a family with her, then run into Shannon on the street. It would have been a stark reminder of what Shannon had thrown away, when she saw her husband happily remarried with a pregnant wife.

You've crafted a plot that concludes with a seldom-seen conclusion. Is it realistic? Is it something a reader could imagine at least, if not identify with? Is it thought-provoking and possible instructive? I think the answer is 'Yes' on all accounts. You took pains to develop the story line in such a way as to establish a relationship between two major characters characterized by a deep, genuine love, and, at first, only hinting at the presence of the third major character, dear old 'mom.' The toxic malignancy of that influence was slowly spun up and the inevitable tragedy unfolded. For me, that was "real life" in spades. How many intimate (e.g., marriage) relationships are made difficult-to-impossible by the enduring, unseen and unexamined imprint of 'mom an dad'? Their beliefs, traits, opinions, preferences, untruths, prejudices, etc., etc., are brought unsolicited into a marriage, where they begin to work their insideious control on Day One! Fortunately, the consequences are not as dire as you've portrayed, but often enough, not by much.

Thanks for giving us a story that is thoughtful and thought provoking.

What bull shit

The wrong one died.

Both her and her mother should have been the ones to die a slow miserable death!

Let's just hope the child was born with massive deformities and the next one had brain damage at birth.

Powerful story. Real. People can be so cruel , sometimes not even realizing it because they are so wrapped up in themselves. This is a five star effort.

R.

I get his angst and his depression, for that was what it was, as well as ego.....BUT how can you dismiss the love of your life, when they could have tried to have children, good story that bought a tear to the eye. I think reflection I underscored this with a 3, should have been a 4

JJ

I read your tale, and I enjoyed it very much. Characters well developed and the story flowed well. Thank you..

Enjoyed this read very much. Thanks.

Poor John, to have married a woman with such a bitch of a mother. John's mother was a better Christian than I. I think I would have been so crazy with grief, I would have hung around that pregnant bitch, just waiting for her to step off the curb.

For a first story,you wrote a really good one. I was blown away. I hope you keep writing. Very well done.

a guy telling me how and when he committed suicide. Something seems off there. Pretty morbid story.

AMerryman 2.0

But there was another option: Ashley lives on dialysis until the baby is born and then gets the kidney. This story would have worked better if she needed a lobe of Shannon’s liver.

Still, it was a good story, if somewhat telegraphed. John, as upset as he was about the decision, was too pussified to bring up his feelings, but waited for Shannon to do it.

Lost for words and that is unusual for me.A well written tremendously powerful story, as so often happens in decision making we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. The only point i can make is that in marriage important decisions have to be made together.

A shame he couldn't let go of the past and move on like he wished. But wishing doesn't make it happen.

The wife did not forsake all others and it cost her, obviously not as much as the husband since she was able to move on happily.

I would have walked up and said “so you decided to keep this one” and spat at her. I would kill myself. But no way would she be in my will. And to move on that quick and get pregnant? She wasnt in love with her ex at all.

there are decisions to be made as the timing in this story. Some of us look back on our married life and realize we should have made a major decision way back when.. Most of us have "we need to talk" moment somewhere in a marriage and some of us simple drop the ball to move on...5

So, why did he stay one single day after she terminated? He had already admitted to himself that the marriage was over; why stay. If he was so upset by the decision he should have left immediately.

at the you ruined the story.

Very very dark

Sometimes in life and in fantasy we wish for a happy ending...

I have trouble with John's reaction and can't sympathize with it.

I also have trouble with the treatment of the mother-in-law, as if she caused the problem. She didn't. It wasn't her idea to have Shannon abort the baby and it wasn't her idea to have Shannon give the kidney. Shannon told her mother after she'd decided.

To quote some of the story, when Shannon told her mother she was pregnant, the reaction was:

“This is such good news, sweety! Why the long face?” her mom asked, clearly picking up on Shannon’s morose mood.

“Mom,” Shannon continued weakly, “I want to give Ashley a kidney,” she said, her voice choked with tears.

...

“Oh, baby, really?” her mom said, her voice also filled with emotion. “You know your sister would never ask that of you, right?”

“Yes, mom I know that, but she doesn’t have to,” Shannon replied quickly. “I always planned to be her last resort. Secretly, of course,” she added.

“Oh my god, wait...” her mom suddenly blurted out, as if realizing something.

“Yes, mom, I know what this means,” Shannon said bleakly.

...

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Her mom asked her pointedly.

“I’ve thought about it all week, and I’m sure,” Shannon said with sadness and determination in her words.

____

That doesn't strike me as Shannon's mother causing her to abort her baby. The mother was told about it after the decision was made and her reaction was to pointedly ask "Are you sure you want to do that?"

Since I'm not seeing what the mother-in-law did wrong nor does John's reaction make much sense to me it's hard to feel any empathy with the characters in this story.

Just two points: the minor one first - too many minor typos. They irritate.

Then the big one: logic (lack of). Written in the first person. At time of reading he's dead. So how can he write it?

Butcher the innocent. How nice!

John paid a much higher price than she did.

Holy jesus, Incredible while it sucks he couldn’t move on this story feels realistic and I rarely give that word out to lw stories. Good work; will be waiting for your next story

The saddest story poor John

wish i could give more than 5* best story in a Loooong time TY !!!! stlcris

will open consequences for all,,,,,joy for some,,,,,sadness for some,,,,,and usually its 1 one per person, TK U MLJ LV NV

Before everyone goes crazy, let me explain. The writing was very well done. You created characters we cared about and a situation that was very readable and believable. So technically, it should have been given a 4 or 5 star rating. But the stars rate the STORY and not the writing.

First of all, you had me very enthralled up until he see's her pregnant. After that you lost me and this is why. I deal almost daily with vets who are on the brink of suicide. We lose 20 veterans A DAY to suicide. Of all the gun deaths we hear of over 60% are suicides. we don't have a gun problem we have a suicide problem. And you have this man go through all that and as a reward HE KILLS HIMSELF? You must have really hated this character to have him suffer so much and them kill himself.

And this "woman" gets a new love, a spine, a deal of money, a future and a new life in her and a new perspective on life. In short, nothing bad happened to her. She commits murder of her own (and his) child and just trots off? In the world of burn the bitch, this is one cookie I would have personally set aflame.

In short, you took a murderess, and a coward and made her the fucking heroine of the story!

I am a firm believer in justice. And the justice that will come to her is going to be cosmic!

So writing wise,, great. Storywise, you suck.:)

Regards,

C

Didn't like this much

Well done mechanically. First person is the mark of an amateur, though. And most importantly, write what you know, from your own experiences.

John acted out of anger and haste, he didn’t consider that she could get pregnant again, if her eggs were viable and his sperm was too then the could have had her sister carry her kids as one possibility or another surrogate. He just walked away. She had nothing to regret it was either lose her sister or the fetus. She made the right decision although she did it terribly wrong in not working with him for an alternative in the future for additional kids. Sad sorry but John was really immature spiteful and really stupid. Why his lawyers etc. didn’t suggest alternatives or his parents we’ll never know.

Toate văd that john lost all. I dintre se how She feel remorse pe him getting any vindication. ...that is a sour point

If his mom died, who was Angela to him again?

she found the root toxic influence.

but SHE was her own worst enemy. when all is said and done, she was incapable of loving another like her ex had loved her. the mom is evil, no doubt. but this woman isn't a child. no toxic influence can force you into a decision. ultimately SHE decided to kill her own child, without any feedback from the only other person that mattered.

she didn't deserve the love that john gave her. she literally lacks the capacity to love another human being on that level. she's superficial. even her outbursts seem tame. if only john realized that he was in love with someone that didn't love him back the same, he could have moved on. nature was trying to kill her sister, and that's tragic. but SHE killed the life inside of her. and no atheist nor religious fanatic can persuade me any other way. she murdered his child. of course that marriage was doomed. if he was as superficial as she was, he probably would have shrugged his shoulders, and had a few affairs....hoping someone else could bear his child. but that life inside of her actually meant something to him. the same sort of person that would kill her baby to save her sister is the same type to find a more fertile partner in male form.

... Did you really need to kill your MC, author?

'Guess this needs to be said, again and again:

No man should kill himself over a woman.

No woman should kill herself over man.

NO ONE should kill themselves over ANYONE ELSE.

Unless there's a little girl possessed by a demon, and you would be like "Take me instead!", and the 'entity' takes the bargain and jumped in your body... then yeah - that's genuinely good reason to kill yourself over someone! It's not what happened here, though...

I can understand both points of view. I understand why Shannon had to do what she had to do (hey, it's her sister), yet totally understand why John had to walk away from his marriage because of it. I don't fully understand why she couldn't properly sale him on the whole thing, though - she barely attempt to make him see that it will ultimately not affect them having kids in the future. Fact of the matter is, I don't understand at all why she waited until Ashley was on her deathbed before making her decision. Honestly, are we suppose to believe that John and her never took the time to talk about the possibility of her giving her sister a kidney well before she was pregnant? That just doesn't compute... Regardless, her deciding about the fate of their unborn child without FIRST getting some input from the supposed love of her life... Yeah, that's a marriage killer. But, evidently, he never really walked away, didn't him? Three years after divorcing her, he made what amount to a tepid attempt at moving on from his life with Shannon... And that realization, after he saw that she herself managed to do what he couldn't, pretty much made him feel he had nothing left to live for.

Which is a lie. A lie I'm sure he realized the moment his life started to end.

This is a really well written story... too bad I hate it! So much angst, sadness, fury, desolation... I feel so empty inside, after reading this. I, for sure, will check out your next efforts, Amateur1985, but don't expect me to ever re-read this story ever again. 'Got a whole lot of respect for it, but I simply do not like it.

Wow - what a depressing way to start a Sunday! The way things are going, 'can't wait to watch the Steelers get their asses kicked yet again this afternoon!

WTF is this ridiculous story of a selfish moron here ?

1*

It probably should have been posted in the "non-erotic" section, since it contained no descriptions of sex acts. Also, it contained many typos such as "...or what he felt when he was saw me...", or "...something to eachother should...".

The conversation John overheard between his wife and mother-in-law, in the hospital, was not consistent with the wife's later allegations that she was manipulated into sacrificing her baby. Quoting that conversation, with minor editing:

"We had not told her family that she was pregnant as of yet. She was considered high risk, and we were only 8 weeks along. We did not want to jump the gun and tell our folks and then regret it should she miscarry.

I wasn’t one to evesdrop, but today something made me stop and listen.

“Oh my goodness!” I heard her mom say, “how far along are you?”

“About 8 weeks, mom.”

Something was off here. Her voice was shaky, and filled with angst. She almost sounded sad. This wasn’t how we had imagined telling her parents we had a miracle baby. I knew for a fact Shannon wanted it to be a big production with a gender reveal and all. This was weird. It made me nervous as hell.

“This is such good news, sweety! Why the long face?” her mom asked, clearly picking up on Shannon’s morose mood.

“Mom,” Shannon continued weakly, “I want to give Ashley a kidney,” she said, her voice choked with tears.

“Oh, baby, really?” her mom said, her voice also filled with emotion. “You know your sister would never ask that of you, right?”

“Yes, mom I know that, but she doesn’t have to,” Shannon replied quickly. “I always planned to be her last resort. Secretly, of course,” she added.

“Oh my god, wait...” her mom suddenly blurted out, as if realizing something.

“Yes, mom, I know what this means,” Shannon said bleakly.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Her mom asked her pointedly.

“I’ve thought about it all week, and I’m sure,” Shannon said with sadness and determination in her words.

“Have you told John?”

“Not yet mom,” she said, “I honestly don’t even know how to break this to him.”

“Well go home and tell him sooner rather than later,” her mom encouraged. “If you are going to go through with this, you need to get the ball rolling on some things.”

“I will, mom. Thanks for listening and supporting my decision,” Shannon said, hugging her mom close, and beginning a whole new round of crying."

That conversation is not consistent with Shannon's later assertions that "I confronted her [her mother] in the year following my divorce, realizing she had been a driving force behind my decision to abort my baby. There were subtle hints and guilt trips thrown my way over time, and subconsciously, I acquiesced to her agenda...Turns out my younger sister was my mother’s “favorite”, which I also learned through therapy, and my own mother conned me into giving up my unborn child and my marriage in order to ensure Ashley’s survival. She didn’t care what happened to me, so long as Ashley would live." According to the conversation in the hospital, the mother-in-law didn't even know Shannon was pregnant until after Shannon had made the decision to abort the baby. It sounds like the therapist "scapegoated" her mother, to make it possible for Shannon to forgive herself.

Anyway, good effort. Please proofread future stories more carefully before posting them. But thanks for posting.

....Dialysis has prolonged the lives of LOTS of folks with failing kidneys. Unless there was something very odd about Ashley's kidney failure, one would think that dialysis might have kept her going for a few months -- like 8 or 9 maybe?

Another nit -- in real life, in most places where abortions are legal, the husband would need to sign off on the procedure as next of kin. It happened to me many decades ago, and even though I signed off on it, I was not happy with wifey's decision to terminate the life of our child. And like John & Shannon, it was the death knell of our marriage and led to divorce within a year. I still feel grief and anger about it 40 years later.

That being said, this is a fine first story! Not the typical betrayal we expect in LW, but a marriage-killing betrayal for sure! Thanks for sharing, and please keep on writing and posting here.

But a couple of suggestions for improvement. First, donating a kidney does not require pregnancy termination. The author should look this up. I’ve personally seen kidneys removed that were cancerous as well as for donation while the women were pregnant and it didn’t adversely affect their pregnancies at all. Second, this story would be a lot better with an editor. A number of little writing errors add up to more than a little annoyance. While not expecting Shakespeare, for a story to get full marks, the reader expects decent editing. Despite the above, I feel the story was original, and despite not having a traditionally-happy ending, it was a good read. Thanks for writing.

The quality of your writing doesn’t excuse the maudlin, soap opera content. It doesn’t justify the pitiful efforts for redemption. One star.

Some minor typos. I enjoyed the story, thought it was a very sad tale. Nobody likes seeing bad things happen to the character we relate to, especially when people who deserve retribution don't get it.

Sad Story to say the least but this is a classic case of the mother controlling the lives of their kids. It happens way more with women. I hope her mother dies a long painful death as well as Shannon. I have been through this and it happens a lot. At least I'm still alive. They deserve purgatory together.

It ripped my heart out.

Excellent writing.

She never paid a price for the destruction she caused, or maybe she did. Powerful sad story.

I thought this was a great story and one of the best I have read on this site for a while, that is until I got to you killing off John and having the bitch pregnant so soon to another man, 5 years of trying for her and John, but seems much easier for the new man? 2*

This story contained strong characters and a "different " storyline than an overwhelming majority of those in this category. Not bad but different

Your writing was superb with no glaring errors to disturb the flow of the story. The husband just couldn't carry on but his wife could. Why? Love might have something to do with it. Love, forgiveness and let's not forget "forgetfulness ". The wife had enough of that but unfortunately she couldn't share it after the fact.

Thanks for sharing

Ed

If he was truly a feminist, then he should know that there was no “baby” in her gut. It was just a useless ball of cells, like a tumor. And besides, it wasn’t his choice anyway. It was her body, her choice. A man has no right to even be involved in the decision. So he throws away his marriage and then his life over NOTHING. How stupid can a man be?

In the first section John mentions that he had lost his mom and grandparents and knew about loss. In the final section his dead mother Angela somehow calls Shannon with news of his death. Hard to reconcile this fact!!!!!!

Painful and real. What a terrible realization to know that you traded 2 lives for a faored one and did it it so cruelly.

I invested in your character and the story as a whole. You definitely have a gift for storytelling, but you need to fact check everything is right when talking about anything from law to how to be a clown. Go over your story’s 10 times and check the spelling and grammar. Maybe find a editor on here. Don’t worry about the haters, some people have too much hatred for women. Anything short of killing them is being a wimp. So learn from others who want you to succeed.

Don’t bother writing another piece of crap like this. How can you lionise anyone who would purposely kill her unborn healthy child and give complete disregard to her loving husband?

so why does the good guy have to die why not have something gross happen to the bitch and her mother

I'm wondering why Shannon's dear mom couldn't donate one of her kidneys to her favorite daughter? That way Ashley can live and a baby wouldn't be aborted.

Can't remember when I last read such a sad story. We'll written and powerful....gripped me with sorrow.

With such a strong reaction to her callousness, he should have communicated his feelings of betrayal and plans to leave her. They could have found another kidney from somewhere, heck her mother could have donated. As for the pregnancy, they could have tried in vitro fertilization.

Still, to find her so happily pregnant with another man so soon was an absolute killer.

Well written story with vivid characters but stories are ALWAYS rated by readers as to how they feel ABOUT THE STORY not the technical writing or any other facet of the story. The sadness and negative emotion this story generates is enough to rate it a 'FLOP' as a story which is as sad as the story itself. Most who read this wanted Shannon punished and John to be the one walking along with a new love and a baby on the way! Suicide was too real an outcome for a story, YOU COULD HAVE DONE MUCH BETTER! I gave it two stars but that was more than THE STORY deserved

It does show the clear difference between the "my body, my choice" people and others. "Sure, I'll kill the baby that the father would die to protect, and without his consent, and destroy a marriage. And hey, a little therapy and I'll just sail along with my life." I'm not sure she even really loved her sister as much as she loved herself.

The DSM-V (a.k.a. "The Big Book of Crazy") has a name for that. Sadly, too many people legitimize this behavior, as did the ending of this story.

Just a blob of cells, right?

/sarc

I don't want to criticize you or demotivate you. This was a good effort but the plot got so bad by the end. What was the point of the husband being so insistent on divorce if he ain't gonna move on? Besides, the million dollar stuff and that parents shit... bunch of platitudes.

I don't need this story to remind me of that.

Just selfish people. No amount of retrospective anguish can undo the diahhretic turd pile she'd made of a person's life.

If the fate that had been spoken of early in this story, the universe, had any sense of balance, then she'd lose it all, just as horribly as the person she'd destroyed. She didn't deserve a decent outcome, no matter her regrets.

Really good story, but it should have ended after their meeting in the lawyers office. I’m glad you didn’t do the usual Literotica writer ending by having John marry the wife’s sister after the divorce!

I think a second author wrote the ending. It was like two different stories. The first author wrote that John’s mother was dead. The second author had his mother call Shannon to tell her John was dead?

I’m weeping. 10 stars.

She chose the life of a person she knew over an unborn child. Of course she did! Who would't? Was she supposed to live happily for ever after with her, oh so selfish, husband after condemning her sister to death? Hardly!

A commendable first submission. A well told story though the mix of literals and typos suggest a mix of sections being submitted to mechanical checking while other parts have been carelessly self edited. Good plot that holds readers' interest.

Definitely a unique plot and well written. It deserves far more than the current score (under 4).

I did have a little problem with the money at the end, it seemed very unlikely. You might have tempered that a touch.

5*

Truly absolutely magnificent but so sad and a waste.He should have supported her.

An excellent first submission to Literotica. Good plot, well developed and holds readers' interest despite the literals and typos.

while i cannot agree with the action of shannon in sacrificing her baby's life. her decision to donate her kidney is honorable and praiseworthy. i cannot really fanthom the negative reaction against the wife. I dont think she can remain the same if her sister died, her guilt will eat her alive based on the context of her closeness with family members, it seems the mother was just made a scapegoat for there was no indication that she was coercing shannon to do it or she was a bad influence to the couple, the last part was just added to justify what john was thinking. the biggest problem was john and his ego, he could have been more proactive with his wife and showed her choices, instead he stick to his belief of the evil witch theory and in the process, destroyed his own happiness.

I wish after she cut her mom out of her life she went back to him, im a sucker for happy endings. She saw how she went wrong not talking to him about having a abortion, i believe he would have agreed to one. I also believe he would have taken her back after she cut her mom out of her life, seeing how shes changed for the better. Very good story, just too sad for me. I struggle with depression and can see why he killed himself, how it can feel so freeing.

Really well written, I really enjoyed it. Tale was sad - I suppose most readers would have rather had husband end up married to someone else, happy with children with wife ending up barren, lonely, and sad. This was in some ways more real to life in that what we hope for isn't what often comes true and everyone ended up sad in the end over wife's decisions. Please keep up the good word and don't pay (much) attention to the naysayers out there!

"John marry the wife’s sister after the divorce!"

Kudos to anon, that would have been the perfect ending!

The karmic justice in Shannon murdering her child to save her sister, only for her husband to divorce her and marry Ashley would have been glorious! Especially if Shannon was never able to have another child, while John and Ashley ended up with 4+ kids!

He should have stayed with her. They lost the baby, but he lost so much more in the divorce. She needed to confront her mother, but her decision wasn't entirely wrong. It was one of those impossible choices where nothing was right and nothing was entirely wrong. Life does that sometimes. What was wrong was how she made that decision and perhaps she could have realized that if he had handled it better. Painful story well written.

But this wasn't a loving wives story for a porn site like Literotica. I'm not sure this would have played well in Non-erotic. But it sure doesn't play well in this category. It simply doesn't fit. And it was just plain depressing. I do think Shannon could have carried her baby to term while her sister lived on dialysis which would have rendered her selfish decision mute. But their lousy communication skills would have destroyed their marriage sooner rather than later. Awful story line.

2 stars

But then aren’t all impossible decisions lose-lose? He couldn’t live with her, nor could he live without her.

There was nothing about this story that justified it being in Loving Wives. this category is about cheating, swinging, swapping... extramarital fun and games.

This belonged in romance, non-erotic or sappy trope filled tear jerker.

You had far too many typos to ignore. Two in one sentence in the final section.

The MC was a fool and idiot. That's why he killed himself. He knew he fucked up.

No win situation tale that is well written and does fine job of showing both sides of the coin

I am sorry you ended it this way. John could not move on after he divorced his love over her abortion of there child to save a sisters life and not giving him a chance in the decision making. But why didn’t he get help for himself instead of not living and killing himself. People take their own life for many reasons. So sad a ending. Since they both loved each other.

Not sure how or why anyone would pick Loving Wife as the grouping for this story. There was no loving wife to be found.

You really need to find an editor! The work, while having a Good? plot was hampered with all of the mistakes.

And really, really, really try to place any additional stories in a proper grouping.

I don't think I have ever read a more intense story.

As I read it, I kept thinking that there was always hope for her to get pregnant again.

If, only

I occasionally enjoy stories that have no sex. But, this is a story without any heart. There is nothing about John that is sympathetic or empathetic. He is rigid self-centered individual who deserved what he got. But, there could have been some growth or at least understanding built into him. Sorry, did not enjoy the story.

Are you kidding me? Re-read the story! How much more remorse could she have felt??

to see a new writer dip their toes in the pool of L/W.

I only have two complaints and that would be, if you are going to write a story and have it viewed through more than two people use third person. You story ran fine in first person until you killed of John. You had him carrying on a narrative of what was going on in his mind, that can't happen in first person. Had you used third person (like an observer) you could have pulled it off.

In L/W, letting the party doing the wronging have a fairy tale ending is a big No-No. If she wronged John then not only got a new boyfriend (when will we learn that that is a term for teenagers) a new baby (what happened with near impossible to happen) and John's $18,000,000.00 (where did that come from, maybe I should have become a sports blogger) is pushing the limit.

Final review, writing was sound, plot was good, character development not bad and category wrong (Romance, Novels/Novellas or Non-Erotic would have been better).

He must have been a spoiled brat growing up and never changed. If he had got his head out of his ass and learned that there was more to marriage than just him then things would have been different! Was he better off after his divorce than before....No but his ego got the better of him....still a little boy in a man's body.

The husband was left out of marital decisions. The wrong one suffered. Only wish that the mother in law would have been the one that was left alone.

What a great story! Tears welled up in the eyes of this old football player and Army vet. Thanks for the effort. *****

what an impossibly self centered and disturbed story.

How could people go thru life like that? I'm sure this figment of the author's imagination is only written to cause the reader anguish, but seriously, you call this entertaining?

Smokepole

I definitely sympathized much more with Shannon than John.

Yes, in a marriage one needs to compromise on major decisions, but there are a few times in life where one needs to make a certain decision to be true to themselves and the decision needs to be unilateral. I love my wife to death and most major decisions are discussed; however, if for example I had to lose all my money to save a member of my family or had to risk my life to save them and my wife was against it and I knew it would lead to divorce from her, I would still have to do it.

Shannon had to be able to live with herself before having to live with John. How can you live with yourself knowing you allowed your sister to die and not abort an 8 week old fetus.

I also get why John feels upset, about not being brought in to the decision making process. However, in the scenarios I painted above for myself I wouldn't bring my wife into a major decision I had to make that I had already conclusively decided. First, it's disingenuous. Second, I wouldn't want to be talked out of a decision to save a family member. Third, it's disrespectful to the spouse to discuss a decision as if the outcome could be changed, when you've already decided.

He couldn't accept it and wanted a divorce that was his choice. I thought Shannon was better off without him actually. I wouldn't want to be with my wife if she didn't see why I didn't have to save my brother's life.

Last, in the discussion the John overheard Shannon's tells her mother that she was pregnant and then tells her about her decision to donate her kidney to her sister and that she's decided to have an abortion to do it. How does this then turn around to the mother convincing Shannon to abort her child? I thought this and John becoming so wealthy were the weak points of the story. Otherwise, it was a very good story.

Never kill yourself for anyone!!!

So, rather than having him deal with things, you had to play "oh woe is me" bullshit. That was lazy, trite, and very, very bad writing. There is a difference between amateur and amateurish, and you are the latter.

For your first story you did well, very well. Yes, there were mistakes and typos but every story has them.

Thank you for sharing and please continue writing.

Very worthy of 5*

Don’t listen to these crazy illiterate anons. You wrote a good story...no, a great story. A couple of spelling and grammar issues here and there. But who cares. Your story tugs at the heartstrings. Awesome job!!