All Comments on 'An Unbreakable Desire Ch. 02'

Loving Lena's strength of character and street smarts. Dance carefully with her attraction to Zane. If she surrenders too easily, too soon, or too completely, then you loose the foundation of the story.

And who is Lena? Enquiring minds are dying to know.

Zane is quit the antihero at the moment. In contrast to Lena's strength, he is a volatile horny little boy having a tantrum. If he doesn't get his act together, she will bolt and end up in Maddox's clutches.

A very fun ride from a still new author. Keep it coming. :)

Wow thanks for the feedback.

The mystery of Lena is something that will be a major emphasis in this story. But you will see her character as she learns more about herself.

In the case of Zane. I want readers to see the different sides of my characters. While Zane is an important character remember that only Lena has the ability to make him completely different then who he is. Maddox is a whole bunch is hot goodness I want everyone to love or hate.

Anyways. Sorry for some grammatical errors. I didn't edit as effectively as a wanted to. But I hope to have another chapter out soon.

The first chapter of this story hooked me and the second just pulled me in further. The premise is fascinating. Your characters are unique and intriguing. I look forward to the collision path they are heading down, the sparks will definitely be flying! Just on a curious note, will you be continuing your other story at some point? It also has a fascinating premise and I was hoping at some point to read more. Anyways, love the story and can't wait to read more!

I was hoping this wasn't a 'one and done' story. I'm glad you found time and inspiration to write a second chapter.

Looking forward to chapter 3, although, I will say that you do need an editor. Literotica has a page full of editors that you can use. It's right by the story submissions.

Keep writing,

Lioness_71

To the next chapter! Love the characters thus far. Can't wait to see this plot unfold.

I love your story so far! It's written so well! You probably just need to know the difference between 'then' and 'than'. Other than that, everything is simply amazing! Excitedly waiting for Chapter 3!!!

I love love love ALL the characters you have created. I thought Zero would be some balding middle aged brute but whoa....he is HOT! Ruthless, cruel even, but it seems there is a soft side hidden deep.

Zane is cute and his own different brand of hotness, his sidekicks are charming, Lena's unyielding attitude is awesome, and the world you have created is intriguing.

This story is such a treat...hope to see the next chapter soon.

Any chance you're going to finish your enticing tale of a ballsy heroine in olden times?

Yes, I will be continuing a fatal attraction at some point. Right now I only have enough time to work on one, but I do definitely wanna finish Fatal Attraction. And boy do I have plans in store for that one! Sweet, juicy plans!!

I do apologize for the lack of editing done for this chapter. Usually I like to spend a week editing but for this chapter I did not. I was in a rush to submit it. My bad.

This story is absolutely awesome . It has such a great plot and awesome potential especially with zero coming in! I just wish Lena will struggle more with Alex , idk. But please continue this is a great story !!

I love this story, one of my favorites. Your writing is excellent. Please, please continue with the next chapter soon!

I know Zane is supposed to be hot, but I'm not feeling it. He pouts like a little boy, lets Lena easily slap him, and is pussywhipped by the doctor. Not alpha enough for me. Please rectify this. Maddox on the other hand sounds a lot more fun and hot!

Is it so bad that right now Maddox seems more interesting than Zane? I don't really like Zane. He seems to boyish and not manish(are those even words? Hope you understand). Lena is a great character but don't let her give in too easily to Zane or this story will lose its greatness :D Zane is totally a dumbass. Maybe he will turn out to be much cooler than he is now, or mayne not, who knows except the writer, or does he/she?