All Comments on 'An Unexpected BJ'

Not a bad first effort. If you have longer story ideas, try them out. This one had promise.

Just like I like them short and to the point . More please

Good story with a good beginning. You describe your age and your needs as a young married man. Your set up is good, and you produce mild anticipation for what’s to come by saying you were living with your mother-in-law. You also explain why you were living there (wife finishing school is believable). The television scene got your attention (some authors leave out why they were sexually excited), your mother-in-law saw your erection (be slightly more descriptive – saw the outline of your thick erect cock that was pulsating / throbbing for attention) pressing against the fabric (why she was excited). You also described her tits (perky like daughters) nicely.

There are lots of things you can do in future chapters and hopefully you will (you can’t get your mind off what happened, you daydream about what you hope is to come).

I will send you some additional private feedback soon.

good little twist

I found one issue which is quite unusual for a new writer. Most writers first attempts are littered with errors. Albeit this tale is short and to the point. A part two with a little more content will be the real test. For now, good job. No exaggerated or implausible happenings would be best for the moment. Keep it grounded.

Pretty good for a first time out ...

Well done for your first Literotica story, I hope this storyline continues. It was a little short and could have used more of a build-up, but still very well done.

Excellent story. Very hot. This has potential for an expandedstory as wife and mother compete for his affections. 5 stars

Nice quick story, had me very hard! Looking forward to more adventures!

You've got the right idea! More Please!!

yeah, for a 1k word story this was not bad at all. Keep up the good work, don't overuse the same words and try to go for a 4-6k next that could develop into multiple chapters.

Have sexy mother-in-law open his shirt to caress what is hopefully his hairy chest -- maybe even lick his chest and treasure trail abs. What a sexy adventure for them both!

Short but sweet as the saying goes. Keep on writing.

So, you have no respect for you wife. And why should you, when her own mother doesn't, either? At least three despicable characters here (one merely by implication), and absolutely no reason for this to occur. Just a big fat nothingburger.

This is probably the shortest story I've seen on Lit. At a minimum, I think a full page at a minimum is needed for a story in order to build up to a climax. Also, a lot of people would not consider this an incest story. If the wife showed up and joined in with the mother & daughter pleasing each other...then that would be worthy of this category.

Nicely written and interesting. Though, it's a little short for my taste, and I kinda don't get why you chose this category to post in.

Some positive comments so far. Please accept mine in a similar vein?

Present and past tense in same sentence should be avoided, as should difficult or strangely worded sentences: "she liked this as much as I was."

As had been said: good premise, different story line, quite creative.

I might be out of bounds here but, perhaps you had completed your work around the house. Your version sounds like you do nothing, or very little around the house while living, potentially, for free. That might give MIL yet another reason to reward you?

Length, of the story, was ideal. This would fit the category of quickie, as did your tale.

4 Stars. I really liked it, I for one would have felt the difference between my wife and someone else 'but'. I can only imagen what chap. 2 will hold.

Looking forward to more. A theeesome wouldn’t be too predictable would it?

Too short but very nice.

To anonymous that didn't like the topic , you knew the topic going into it.

Great start, a short description of the mother would help with the visuals and perhaps what she is wearing especially heels.

Not bad... for a first attempt. Little short with little to no build-up... could use some character refinement and build up, although also could use more character definition and living arrangement discussion. When i lived with my ex wife and her mother, she had her own entrance and part of the house.

Good first attempt.

I cant wait for the next chapter. I want to hear about the threesome with the daughter and how she tries her first pussy, or possibly, his father in law was secretly in on this from the beginning and wants to eat his son in laws cum from his wife's pussy.

Could have been much hotter. Nothing like an attractive mother in law that can make your MILF dreams come true. How about another chapter.

Maybe a little more buildup. Overall a good story. Hot MIL stories are my favorite and a BJ is a good place to start. Expand on those 2 characters and the possibilities are endless. Anal or DP where he brings in his big dicked buddy to double team her.

I liked it. It was a bit short and could have used a little more character development and build up, but it didn't drag on unnecessarily either. I'm looking forward to more!

Over the last 20 yrs. My mother in-law has sucked my cock 3x. The best blowjobs ever. Each time she says keep making my baby happy. Yes Ma’am.

Great first story

If that didn't put a knot in your groin,

nothing will!