All Comments on 'An Unhappy Reunion Pt. 01'

Gave up on this good guy hero story when he does his sister the first day back after 14 years

I get that it supposed to be a stroke story. I didn't think that meant I'd slog my way through 2 pages of the protagonist sucking his own dick. I kinda' really don't want to keep reading about some bougie prick snarling about how much better he is than everyone else.

SMH, all that money, you'd think he could afford therapy.

A GLS is a Mercedes not a BMW.

I really like the story line, but the writing is very mechanical.

I wonder, the usual story, crazy parents, thrown out, become very rich, strong healthy beautiful body, come back, fuck all my sisters.

Compare that to nice childhood with family, no sex, no money. Probably not loving fat wife, and nasty kids.

It's only 10 years, it's over in the blink of an eye. See it as working 10 years, and then be free the rest of your live.

Now I have been working for 30 years, wife+kids, house, always money problems. And beer belly.

Reality would probably be, thrown out, living on the streets, getting addicted to drugs, die at a young age outside in the cold.

The sex scenes are awful you need a rewrite its like a fifteen year old wrote it or someone with very little sexual experience. Other than that the story is ok. If he has the money to hire security the whole trip to New York was unnecessary and breaks up the story in a bad way.

He had the resources and power to help his two younger sisters but he made them the goons plaything. Worst story I've ever read.

He has the resources for armed private guard, the sheriff is his friend and yet he let his sisters to be abused and whored out by the evil bitch. Then when he confronts her, right after she called armed scum to harm him or even possibly kill him, he is civil and offers an olive branch why exactly? Some authors seem to forget the actions of the characters they are writing. It doesn't matter if they are blood related, if she is evil and he is not then his reaction can't possibly be the one you wrote.

The MC is as unlikeable as he describes parts of his family. After 2 pages I couldn't read any more.

Jane and Daisy are lovers, but no one has ever eaten Daisy's pussy?

It feels like parts are rushed through and some are overly vague. One example is what does the out side of his house look like? What would be the first impression of someone seeing it for the first time have? Second two rounds from two different rifles arriving at the same with enough impact to destroy a pistol would rip it out of a man hand while probably taking the trigger finger with the weapon debris. The bullets would continue on a deflected trajectory to impact something else before ending their journey. As described in the story I believe the truck would have had been on the receiving end of those bullets.

Some awkward points and a little bit clichéd in parts but otherwise a God if not original start.