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Click hereThere's a period of tense silence and then Derek chimes in.
"Holy fuck, Jen. Holy fuck. I've started kind of thinking of you as a little sister but after that and this right here," he gestured at her luscious body in it's skimpy undergarments, "Man, I better just not say anything else."
Jennifer smiled sultrily. "I know where you're going," she said and then looked at each of the five guys for a long second. "I was the same way but, right now, I'd let anyone of you...all of you..."
"Alright, chick," interrupted Monica laughing and grabbing Jennifer's wrist, "Trent, can I go lay her down in your room for a minute?" she asked and then tugging the blonde to her feet, "You're even drunker than I thought."
Just ten minutes later, Jennifer was passed out.
But her night wasn't quite finished.
Knowing my limitations as far as creativity and imagination, I might as well tell you now, part two is gonna be a let down by comparison. Not intentionally of course but I just can't imagine high praise like that back to back. I'll do my best, but...
I have really enjoyed this and hope you continue. My title says it all.
I belive the length (of the story) is good. Please continue.
...for taking the time to offer feedback. It's funny you mention the length because I was wondering if I had tried to cram too much in at one time. There's still more introduction that has to happen so I agree with you and duly noted.
Very well written, but if I was going to offer one critique it would be I found the story a bit too long. Personal preference thing.