Ancestry.cum Ch. 01

He took two biohazard tubes and a couple of paper-wrapped cheek swabs from cabinet. "Have you kissed or had oral sex recently?"

"Goodness no! Not since we found out we are siblings!"

"Just checking. If you had in the last hour or so, there might be some contamination of the results. Ladies first--open wide."

He dug around the inside of her cheek; I watched the bulge sweep along the surface. As he sealed her swab in the tube, Leanne asked, "Is it legal for us to have marital relations before we know for sure?"

"That's an excellent question. I have been expert witness in several incest cases. One one hand, you are husband and wife. On the other hand, you have a scientific test showing a sibling relationship, as well. I'm not a lawyer, but my best guess is it's illegal."

She thought about that, then asked, "How long will it take?"

"Usually it takes about a week." He must have noticed the cringe on my face, because he quickly added, "Tell you what: I'll have Maggie mark it STAT. Won't tell her why, just that we need the results ASAP. Should be back in 3 days."

That night, Leanne turned it up a few notches. Maybe she was just trying to distract me, because Mike and Sissy went out again on their second date. Said they were going out to eat, and had not come home when we turned off Netflix at 1 in the morning.

She had gone shopping. Her brand-new nightgown was made of silk and lace. Lots of lace. Green, an identical match to our eyes, or maybe her eyes just picked up the color of her clothes like they did sometimes. People say my eyes do the same. Go figure.

No one can blame me. If Mother Teresa wore that nightgown, you'd be hard as carbon steel, too. I probably could have hidden my wood from her by lying on my stomach, but it sure felt good when she fondled me.

I am weak. Eventually, I rolled over and let her kiss me. Her nipples looked fantastic. Good enough to eat. Our lips met, then our tongues. How long had it been since my wife had kissed me this passionately? Since my sister kissed me...

In a second, I was on my feet. "Shit! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"What are you sorry for?"

"For kissing you! It's illegal!"

"I'm pretty sure it's not illegal for us to kiss, even if we are siblings."

"But we won't stop at kissing."

"I sure hope not!"

My jaw hung open, and I must have looked like an imbecile standing there with a hard-on in my PJs. "What has gotten into you?"

"What has gotten into you? Stop this foolishness and come satisfy your wife."

"Has everyone gone insane?"

"Probably runs in our family. Listen, if anyone comes to arrest us for making out, we can plead insanity. That should work out."

"You really are Mike's mother."

"And you are his uncle." She must have seen the steam coming out of my ears, because she quickly said, "It's a joke. Okay, a lousy joke, but he's right. We will go mad if we don't find a way to deal with it. The test results won't be in until Monday, so let's just have some fun until then!"

"I'm going downstairs. To sleep on the couch."

I had to. She looked so damn good, I could not trust myself around anyone wearing that nightgown. Even my own sister.

Mike answered the knock on his door with, "Enter!"

"Hey, Mike, do you have a second?"

"I always have time for my favorite uncle."

Deep breaths. Ten, nine, eight... "We need to talk."

"Shoot."

First, I glanced around his room to avoid looking at him. Mike has his mother's eyes. My eyes.

On his table, I spotted a sketch of Sissy. A nude sketch. Completely nude. Buck naked!

"Did you draw this?"

"Sure did. What do you think of it?"

"I think your sister is nude."

"She is. It's a figure study. Well, started off that way, but it came out so well, I may use it as a sketch for my grade this term. Just need to work out a little more detail."

"Did you ask your sister to pose for you in the nude?"

"See why I think of her as my cousin? It sounds so sinister when you say it like that."

"When did you do this?"

"We started Wednesday. Finished up Thursday. Well, we probably need one more session. The hands need some work."

Probably because his sister's more interesting parts distracted him from her knuckles. Her breasts, drawn in exquisite detail, were lifelike. Sissy has her mother's nipples. I never knew nipples ran in families.

"It is finished. Your sister will not be posing for you again--nude or fully clothed!"

"That's quite the double-standard, don't you think? I mean, just a couple of days ago you were bragging about how you were there with your sister when I was conceived, and when Sissy was conceived. But when my sister just poses for a work of art? Hey, that's way too far, even though you can see she isn't pregnant."

"Not yet, anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean! Keep your eyes and your hands off your sister!"

"We're both adults... Dad."

"Your mother and I, we had no idea."

"Didn't they have mirrors back when you were my age? Because how else could you look at Mom and not know?"

"Did you ever think about it before that test? No? Neither did I! Or her, for that matter." I took a few more deep breaths to cool down. "Until this next test comes back, we won't know for sure. She may be my sister, she may not; but Sissy is yours. No doubt about it. There is an enormous difference."

After a walk around the block to burn off steam, I sent looking for Leanne. After checking everywhere downstairs, I headed to our bedroom.

Leanne stood there completely naked, two tennis outfits laid out on the bed.

"Oh, sorry--I didn't know." I started to back out.

"Don't be silly; you've seen me changing a million times."

"Well, I just though now..."

She put hands on hips and glared at me. For some reason, my eyes were drawn to her golden bush. I swallowed hard. "Just stop. This is embarrassing. Help me decide which one to wear."

Honesty is the best policy. "Both look great on you, hon."

"You're a big help." She turned toward the outfits, giving me a wonderful view of her smooth, unblemished bum, then said, "How many times did you walk in on Helen while she was changing?"

"None, far as I remember."

"Seems like something you'd remember. Okay, I'll go with this one." She took the other one back to the closet, hanging it up, and took her sweet time doing so. This peep show she was putting on for me must be giving her a thrill.

"Before we got married, did you ever fantasize about Helen?"

"That is so long ago. About the only thing I remember back to college is you."

"Aww, that's sweet." She took the bloomers that went under the discarded dress and returned them to the drawer. Bending from the waist, as she did, seemed unnecessary, but I did appreciate it. "You never had fantasies about your sister?"

"Well, sure, I suppose so. Doesn't everyone? But I never acted upon them."

Once more, she faced me, giving me an eyeful. "Well, now's your chance."

My cheeks were on fire, and I must have looked like I fell asleep in the sun for hours. "If you are my sister, I don't know how to act around you."

"Honey, we have been sexually intimate since the mid-90s. If it turns out we have been related by blood all this time, oops! What else can we say? It won't change a thing. I will still be your wife and I will still love you with all my heart. If we are more than that, it's like a bonus, right?"

"Mike had Sissy pose for him. In the nude." I just blurted it out like an idiot.

"How do you know?"

"The sketch is in his room."

"Totally nude?"

"As nekked as you are."

"I'll kill him!"

"We already spoke. I forbade him from doing anything with her."

"I suppose we should be glad they are getting along better than they have in years."

"She looks like you. I mean, her body. She's got your nipples."

"Yeah, I know. What? I'm her mother; I've seen her naked. Remember when the 3 of us girls went to that spa in the spring? Well, the sauna was private. Chrissy has the same nipples, too..."

"Maybe I should not be talking about my daughters' nipples with my..."

"Sister?"

"Wife, sister--who the hell knows anymore?"

"I am your wife," she said, then gave me a wonderful, sloppy kiss, then pulled away. "The verdict on the sister part is not in. But I have a tennis match in 45 minutes and Sharon will kill me if I am late, so I'd better get moving. You can watch me, if you want. Play tennis, watch the match. Or, you can watch me dress, if you prefer."

I've never been much of a tennis fan, but watching my sister put on her tennis outfit sure beats the hell out of any game I have ever seen.

"What are you watching?"

"Star Wars. I loved this as a kid. Care to join me?" I had rubbed one out after watching the woman I love dress, and felt so dirty about it that I needed a comfort movie, an innocent reminder of the days before I fell in love with my sister.

"Yeah, Dad, you don't need to be watching that."

"Why not?"

"Spoiler alert: she's his sister."

"Oh shit! How did I forget that?"

"No shit. How's that for irony?"

"Then pick something safe."

Chrissy sat on the arm of the chair and clicked to find something where no one was screwing anyone in their immediate blood family. When she found one that appealed to both of us, she set the remote down and slid down onto my lap.

It was nice. Sissy was never a lap-sitter, but Chrissy watched hundreds of movies from her favorite seat: in her Daddy's chair on his lap. Every father should have a Daddy's Girl, the daughter with whom they share an unique, unbreakable bond. I paid little attention to the movie, but I did enjoy the company.

"Pee break," she announced after a while. "Better take advantage of your opportunity, too, because I'm not getting up again!" She gave me a wink.

When I returned, she brought a plastic cereal bowl full of chips, which she placed on her lap after she sat on mine. "Just like old times," I said.

"Hot & spicy chips--I hope you don't mind."

"You know I love hot & spicy!"

She gave me a hug, which upended the bowl, spilling half the chips all over her lap. We laughed as we gathered them up, refilling the bowl.

Funny, I have no memory of what movie we watched. All I remember is the pink shirt and plaid shorts Chrissy wore. During a slow part of the movie, she turned and started staring at me with big, sad green eyes.

"What's the matter, hon?"

"I feel so bad for you."

"It will be okay." I wrapped my arm around her waist and gave her a hug, and she responded by throwing her arms around my shoulders to return the hug. Seated on my lap raised her high enough that my chin was between her breasts, one of which mashed against my neck. She held me tight, so I squeezed her a little tighter.

Why had Leanne mentioned her nipples? With my chin between her breasts, all I could think about was how closely her breasts resembled her mother's before she had kids. Before she nursed the kids, which changed her nipples forever, morphing into the pinkie-tip-sized pokies I have enjoyed for the last 25 years.

If we hadn't been talking about her nipples, I probably would not even pay attention to her breasts cupping my chin. Oh, who am I trying to kid? I would have enjoyed it then, only without trying to picture her nipples. The shape and size and rosy pink of her mother's.

Chrissy let go, which was great because a monster was awakening inside my pants.

"How are you handling this?"

"We're okay, Honey."

"Do you believe it?"

My arm was still around her waist, and I patted her side. "I don't know what to believe anymore."

She asked, "Mind if we turn this off and talk?"

"Talking will be nice."

Click.

"What will you do if Mom is your sister?"

"I don't know."

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"With all that has gone on this week, I don't think anything is off-limits."

"Have you and Mom had sex since you found out you are brother and sister."

"No, honey."

"Oh, poor you!" She hugged me again. Her breasts are smaller than Leanne's--about how hers were before the kids. B-cups, I decided before forcing my brain to think about something else. "Now is the one time you probably need sex--to take your mind off things and bring you closer together."

"You don't think it's wrong?"

"You've done it before. I'm living proof of that."

"Back then, we didn't know."

"And you still don't know. It's possible this is a mistake. You should take advantage this weekend of the uncertainty and--you know."

"Doesn't it bother you, thinking of the possibility?"

"Want to know the truth? I think it is a little hot. Romantic, even. It doesn't matter if you are brother and sister. In fact, it's even sweeter if it turns out you are and never knew it all this time."

"Maybe you're right."

"Maybe?" She stared at me, tilting her head strangely. "Hold still." She stuck her index finger in her mouth, then started rubbing the lower corner of my lip. "You got chip dust on you." Apparently quite a lot of chip dust, judging by how long she wiped it away. When finished, she stuck her finger back in her mouth. "Hot & spicy!"

My penis was fully erect, and with my daughter sitting on my lap trapping it at a lousy angle in my pants, made this boner even more uncomfortable than a normal one when your daughter is sitting on your lap.

"So, you don't think there is anything wrong with us being together as husband and wife if we are, in fact, brother and sister?"

"'Not that there's anything wrong with it', as Seinfeld said."

"He was talking about gay people, not incest. That's a crime."

"Wasn't homosexuality against the law, too?"

"So if things turn out badly, you think it's okay if Mom and I stay together as we were?"

"It's better than okay. It's cute--and, if I'm honest, it is a bit hot. Imagine my parents aren't just parents, they are a lot more interesting than just parents." She used my head as a pillow and rested on me.

"That seems to be how your mother looks at it. Since we got that shock, she has been more amorous than usual."

"Eww, Daddy. TMI." Her head nuzzled my neck. "Do you think she ever did it with Uncle WB?"

"Honey!"

"They always were close, always huggy. He's almost as handsome as you."

"Thank you, dear."

"Did you ever sleep with Aunt Helen?"

"Your mother asked me the same thing."

"What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything."

"Genetic attraction syndrome," she said. "That's what it's called. I've been doing a lot of research since--you know."

"That's a thing?"

"It's a thing. Apparently quite common. You and Mom are very normal." She paused. "Well, did you? With Aunt Helen?"

"No. We never had sex."

"She's beautiful. Like Mom."

"She is."

"You should have," she slapped my chest twice, teasing. "Missed out on some excellent opportunities."

"Apparently, I only had eyes for my other sister."

"I think people should be free to love who they want to. As long as it happened in the past, not cheating on me like Ryan did. That ruined everything. What happens in your past is what makes you the person you are. Don't you agree?"

What I am is a man who married his sister and had 3 beautiful kids with her. A troubling thought occurred to me. "Chrissy, you haven't done anything with Mike, have you?"

"No! He's a troll."

"You can be honest."

"Daddy! He's cute, and all--looks just like you--but I don't know where that crappy attitude comes from. I can't be alone with him for 10 minutes. Yuck!"

"What about Sissy?"

"You noticed that, too?"

"They act like news of your mother and I gave them a free pass."

"In a way, doesn't it?"

"Have they?"

"I'm not sure."

"Sissy wouldn't..."

"If you told Sissy jumping off a bridge is fun, she'd do it. She is not the most independent thinker in this family. And they always were close."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

She batted her eyelids. "They will tell me. I'll ask and let you know."

"Mike would tell me, too. In fact, I am surprised it has not come up as dinner conversation, to rub my nose in it."

"Not that there is anything wrong with it."

"If there is one person I could count on, it is my big girl."

"I will always be Daddy's girl." For a while she just lay on my shoulder, the top of her head on my neck. Peaceful and comfortable. Then she asked, "Will they put you on the sex offender registry?"

"Chrissy!"

"I told you about my research."

"Shit! I did not think about that. Sorry about my language."

"If there is one time you can say shit, this is probably that time."

My entire world was collapsing, and my oldest girl was the only person in the world I felt it was safe to talk to. I wrapped my other arm around her and squeezed her tight.

"I'll still be your little girl, even if you are a sex offender."

"Thank you, honey."

She sat up and gazed into my eyes. She had Leanne's eyes, too, not just her nipples. Then, in the second biggest shock I had in a week, Chrissy kissed me flush on the lips. This was no father-daughter peck, either, but with soft, warm lips, and she did not pull away.

Neither did I.

Her legs swung around until my body blocked them from turning any further. I don't know whose lips parted first, but her tongue went into mine first. Her tongue felt like satin, and I swear she still tasted of hot peppers.

Our first kiss may have lasted 10 seconds or a half hour. Time ceased to exist. I gave her the most passionate kiss I had given in years.

My daughter is a phenomenal kisser. Much softer and more intoxicating than her mother, best as I can remember. I was rubbing her back and side, and didn't mean to, but my hand slipped over her breast, all on it's own.

My daughter's breasts are out of this world! Firm and full with perky young nipples and... Oh, fuck! I recoiled in horror and embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It's okay, Daddy. It's only a kiss."

It was a helluvalot more than a kiss, and we both knew it. In her eyes, I could see she wanted more than a kiss. She has my eyes, too.

If our first kiss was passionate, this one was on fire. Our tongues searched deep, full of hunger. Neither of us had been with anyone in a very long time. Unless she was shagging her brother, she had not been with a man since she broke up and moved in with us. Here, she had been a nun. The last time I banged her mom was more than a year ago.

Chrissy reached down and touched my erection, which was twisted around to the side and screaming to be set free. Her slender fingers were electric! I reached up under her shirt and squeezed one exquisite breast through her bra. I wanted to pull that bra off, but could not rush it. She was my darling little girl, after all.

Her fingers were magical. If I didn't move my cock from that awkward position, the damn thing might snap off.

There was a noise at the front door. Leanne laughing, fumbling with her keys!

"Oh, no! Get up, sweetie!"

"Sounds like her tennis partner is with her. They can't see you like this!" Her hand rubbed my bulge in a way I could not imagine my little darling touching any man, let alone me. She clicked the remote, and the TV sprang to life. "Keep cool and they won't notice a thing."

Leanne and Alice bounced into the room wearing their short tennis dresses, all smiles. Well, smiles and pokies. Her nipples announced she had skipped wearing a bra, a cruel sight so soon after groping our daughter's breast. Skirt was way too short for a woman her age, and she had gotten a great tan in that day's match; her legs looked fantastic.

"Guess who is in the city finals next week?"

Both women bounced on their toes. Alice is a gorgeous woman, too, but I did not even check her nipples--not with my sister's bouncing under the tight fabric of her dress.

"Congratulations," Chrissy and I said simultaneously, which made the pairs team bounce and giggle again. I hoped no one noticed me staring at her nipples.