All Comments on 'And Baby Makes Four Ch. 01'

A few errors which I am sure you noted but let’s see what comes next

good read, cant wait for the next one!

You should not have submitted this story until it was finished. You the lack of action with to much babble.

Don't make us wait for part 2

What the fuck is a crescent hammer?I've heard of a crescent wrench 🔧 but not hammer.

Good start, but no story yet...

Crescent hammer is a crescent wrench used as a hammer, not an uncommon term for the universal tool.

Great Start!

Can't wait to see your next work!

You need to proof read your work

I gave up reading

Found the inattention to properly using character names disappointing. Could have used an outside editor to read before submitting.

Watch the switches between first and third person. Couple of spots where Cory turned into I and tjen back to Cory. Either can work, and you can use both if you clearly demarcate though it is difficult. Better to pick one and go with it.

Somewhat unusual Incest/LW combo but it's working so far. Looking forward to the next installment.

☆☆☆☆

You kept switching Cory and Dana’s names, and it also seemed like you changed back and forth from first-person to third at a few points. These errors made it awkward to read.