And Counting

Though I was back to hiding in my room for conspicuously long periods, I spent enough time around the house that nobody seemed to suspect anything. In fact, my sis chatted me up like everything was perfectly normal; she'd sit on the couch with me and ask how school was going, what colleges I was thinking about going to -- she wasted no time in plugging her own -- and what I wanted to do for a living. Sex camming was the first thing to come to mind, and it made my cock tingle. Eugh. I hated even thinking about it. I was quickly dismissive and told her I made no decision one way or the other. I had to stop thinking about it. She threw out several ideas, easy majors that would get me a job, and even though none of them really spoke to me, I let her keep talking to drown out the voice in my second head.

"You know, you don't seem the type, but you could always try to get a programming degree. Whatever pays, right?"

I flippantly replied, "Hah, yeah... I don't have the grades for that."

She looked shocked. "You don't?! You've always had really good grades... What happened?"

My fat fucking cock has taken over my life, that's what happened! Jesus, I had to stop thinking about it.

"Uh... well, it's senior year, so it's just been really hard." Literally.

"I feel like that's not the whole story. You were doing so well when I left for uni, that was only last year."

All my self-loathing came out in the cruelest way possible. "Maybe you wouldn't understand, since you never struggled with school a day in your life!"

...

I immediately regretted what I said, but it was too late to take it back. Although she tried to take it on the chin, she looked hurt, and said nothing. She brought her bare legs up into her arms, and rested her feet in front of her at the edge of the cushion. At a glance, they looked delicate, with brightly-painted nails...

My cock stirred.

NO. That's enough. That's my sister. She looks nice, but I never...

It was too late. I was getting hard, and soon I'd start leaking, and my sweatshirt could only cover so much. I had to get out of there. I shot up from my seat and stormed off to my room, leaving my sister behind.

I slammed the door shut and locked it, angrily yanking off my clothes in the process. To hell with getting settled in bed, I stood there and began furiously rubbing my dick, as precum started falling out onto the ground. Honestly, I really tried tugging hard enough to hurt myself, but the pain was all too welcome by my member. If it was any silver lining at all, it let me finish faster, as a powerful blast emerged without warning, pulling out all the strength from my knees. I fell to the ground, angry, exhausted, and pathetic, with a natural cum stream forming along the floor from the tip of my cock, resting by the wayside.

For a couple days, I went back to hiding away in my room, and nobody knocked on my door, especially not my sister. I didn't blame her. She was trying to be helpful and I blew up without warning. They say time heals all wounds, so I was just hoping another year away at university would mend things. Maybe I could apologize after.

Time had different plans. A day or two before she was supposed to leave, I did get a knock on my door after all, followed by her voice. "Hey, are you awake?"

Nope.

"There was a package for you on the porch... I thought I'd bring it over."

... What?!

In a panic, I sprang out of bed and threw the door open. My eyes immediately locked onto my package in her hands, while her eyes fell down to my... package...

I wasn't dressed. And I could almost poke her thigh.

I snatched the box from her hands and slammed the door in her face. I was so embarrassed I wanted to cry. I wanted her to go away and forget all about me.

Instead, she kept talking from the other side. "Can we talk for a second? You don't have to open the door if you don't want to."

I stayed silent, as inaudible tears started to flow.

"I already knew, okay? I saw you the other day, when you asked me to shut the door. I came back and I saw you. I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to feel gross, but, it seems like you've been really struggling with it for a while. Is that right?"

The sniffles set in as I wiped my face. "Yeah. It's been really bad all year." I shrieked, "I'm such a degenerate!"

"Hey, shhhhh. No you're not. You've got a... hormonal imbalance, or something. Have you talked to a doctor yet?"

I shook to myself. "No, I'm not ready for that yet. I'm sure I will one day, when I have money for surgery." I added, "It's something I think about a lot."

"I understand." She wasn't being judgmental at all, in fact, she was unbearably kind to me in my moment of need. I was in a deep pit and even then, I didn't really understand how deep it was. What I started to realize is that I wouldn't be able to pull myself out of it alone. Tears welled up again.

After a short silence, punctuated with my sniffles and gasps, she asked, "Do Mom and Dad know?"

"No," I told her. "I'm too ashamed."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," she tried to assure me. "In fact..."

"... I think it's pretty hot."

...

The fragile rope holding me up in that deep pit began to fray.

"You know, if you don't like the idea, just tell me and I'll drop it right away. But I was thinking, you really deserve to enjoy a dick like that. And I realize you don't have any other girls to turn to..."

STOP, I wanted to say. Not my sister. I really would be a degenerate then. But the mere suggestion turned my cock into a hot, throbbing, drooling mess -- and it was already worked up because my package full of toys arrived. I tried again to make the word "NO" come out of my throat, but it was choked up, and my shaft was so hard, it was hurting. Each heartbeat flared up the pain some more, the longer I sat without rubbing it, touching it, caressing it...

With complete reluctance, I opened the door.

She walked in without a word, and turned around to softly shut the door, before surveying the rest of the room. My heart sank even further as she seemingly took note of the messes on the floor, on the sheets... on the tip of my dick, flowing out...

"May I?"

I looked like a deer in headlights. I couldn't make any response come out. I just glanced down, which she interpreted as a go-ahead, getting on her knees in front of my gaze. Then she shuffled back a little bit, as she realized my penis jutted out too far. She just... stared at it, for several seconds, before suddenly leaning forward and catching a string of precum with her tongue, and bringing it up to the tap. She gave the slit a couple licks, up and down, the sensitivity making me shudder. When she pulled away, another string followed, which she left hanging in the air while she caressed the underside of my shaft. She hadn't looked up at me since she sat down; she was too enamored by my stupid cock. I was already more cock than person, and although she was too polite to put it that way, she said as much with her eyes, which sparkled in front of my pelvis like I'd never seen them do before. I was being used for my fat cock, by my own sister, no less.

My dick bobbed at her a few times, asking for more. More than just kissing and petting. She grasped at the base to hold it still, and enveloped the tip with her mouth. I felt her lips stretch around the head, as thick as it was, and she had trouble holding her teeth out of the way, though scraping it gently only stimulated it more. She eased in as far as she could, and came up short -- very short. At least half of my cock was still exposed. But that didn't discourage her; now it was her turn to bob. She pulled back, then leaned back in, then out, then in... Every "out" was punctuated with an arduous suction, like she was drinking from a straw. As messy as my dick is, she very well might have been, but nothing prepared her for, for...

... It started throbbing hard, bump, bump, bump, like a ticking timebomb. Feeling encouraged, she got more eager, and moved faster, sucked harder. Bump, bump, bump, bump, into her dainty hand, wrapped around me, which drove her to start jerking the base as her head continued to treat the tip. It sped up, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump--

BUMP, shot out a blast of cum, BUMP, sprayed another, BUMP, and another, BUMP, BUMP... It caught her off-guard and she yelped in shock, but never opened her mouth for a second. I could feel each throb punching against the back of her throat, leaving a tsunami of semen to pool up, as her yelp turned into moans -- moans which resonated against my shaft and begged for more cum, which my body was happy to give. It never stopped, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, until she got more than she bargained for, and disengaged, leaving a very sloppy trail of sugar spilling out down her chin, onto her shirt, and also the floor.

The sensations... were overwhelming. They were almost enough for me to forget, for a glorious seven seconds, that I wasn't just getting a blowjob from my sister, before the shame flooded back. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall, because I couldn't even bear to look at her again. I didn't want to look down and see my sister's face.

"You should leave, I'll clean up," I said to no one in particular. They unceremoniously got to their feet and shuffled towards the door, before turning and saying, "I hope you feel better soon."

...

I'm not sure when exactly Sis left, because I mostly kept to my room. Before I knew it, winter break was over, and it was back to school. My parents made a fuss about me wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants to school every day, but I told them off. It helped me stay confident about going out in public, even as my anxiety rose to nine and a half inches. I did get a couple of weird looks, but most people just laughed it off and assumed the sweatshirt was creasing weird. Just as I hoped.

The day I received my toys was a little traumatic, so I wasn't in a hurry to open the box, but as things slowly returned to normal, besides my nasty habit getting longer and harder to manage at home, I decided I shouldn't let them go to waste. The moment I began unpacking the box, my dick jumped up like a dog ready to go for a walk. There were two smaller, different-sized boxes packed inside, both with modest, unassuming graphics, save for the pictures of the actual products, which I delicately pulled out, one after the other.

The vibrating wand was loose in its box, along with instructions, and a pack of batteries, which were probably already half-dead from disuse. It was sleek and plain white, and evidently controlled by a single button. I snapped the batteries in, and clicked the button a few times to see what would happen; with one click, it came alive in my hand, with a low hum, and my cock followed suit. Another click didn't turn it back off, but rather, the buzzing intensified. After the third click, it was able to numb the feeling in my hand when I gripped the operational end. The fourth click didn't turn it off still -- it started vibrating on and off in a regular interval, and clicking it several more times changed up the intervals in various ways I didn't think I'd use, until finally it was off again.

Without thinking too much, I turned it back on to the "low" setting and pressed it down on my dick. Where contact was made, it produced a ticklish, funny, giggly feeling, which was certainly rousing, but far from bringing me to orgasm. I became painfully aware of just how little surface area I could vibe with even a full-size wand. I knew it wouldn't have covered even an average-sized penis, but for fuck's sake, my dick was longer than the wand, handle and all!

But I wasn't gonna give up. I started, which meant I had to finish, always. I kicked it up a notch to "medium", then "high", and didn't feel much different, but I realized I wasn't doing myself any favors by trying to hold it against my shaft, suspended in mid air. Holding it with some support would surely feel a lot better -- so I stood by my bed, flopped it down on the mattress, and shoved my cock against that with the vibe. The feeling was a lot more dramatic, vibrations now crawling all the way up and down my shaft. I hastily started thrusting back and forth, feeling the fibers of the bedsheets scrape against the hull of my buzzing cock. I held the wand out a little further and went tip-to-tip, which, without warning, made me feel like I had to pee. But I knew what was really coming, and it was coming fast.

With a flourish, I ground my dick into the bed, pressed the wand down on the neck, and thrusted a couple more times until -- strands of silk were tossed out as my junk sputtered and struggled against the toy. It looked to be hanging on for dear life, even though it was living the dream, pumping almost as rapidly as the vibrator itself, expelling as much semen as could fit through my urethra, crushed against the bed. My climax droned on and on, until I went numb from the vibration, spurts of cum trickling out still.

I got a lot of mileage out of that wand, but it wasn't a silver bullet. I tried using it more often to get through masturbation faster, but if I used it too much, I became too numb, lost too much sensitivity, which defeated the whole purpose. Why save a little time now when I'd be jacking an unresponsive heap of meat for hours later? I used it only when I needed immediate relief -- or close to it. I'm ashamed to say, I even packed it in my bag sometimes, in case I had an emergency in public... but I never got to use it away from home because of the loud buzzing. If the restroom were ever empty for five to ten minutes, though...

On the other hand, I still had my masturbator to try. To be honest, I had been putting it off, out of nervousness. I already knew I'd never get to fuck a real pussy, and I was afraid of tempting myself, but I already bought the thing, and my ten-incher wasn't getting any smaller. It got rock-hard, in fact, at the mere thought of pussy, real or fake.

I'd pulled it out of its box already, when I unboxed the wand as well, but it remained wrapped in its plastic, protecting it from the elements, and from me. I stripped the wrapping away, being careful not to let the toy careen off; it was flesh-colored, and very soft, but not smooth per se. That's what the lube is for -- a small bottle of which was packed alongside the toy. There were also instructions; while I'm pretty sure I knew how to use this thing, it contained useful information about how to properly clean it, what sorts of lube were safe to use, et cetera.

I held it up against my intimidating erection. Putting it inside even a fake pussy seemed like violence. I felt queasy, but I already knew better than to deny my dick what it wanted, when it wanted it. It was barely half as long, and beyond the labia, not even as thick.

I rubbed some lube onto my monster and rested the head against the lips. It throbbed against the silicone a few times before I dared pushing it in; it was met with a lot of resistance. The lips spread, and spread, as more cockflesh shoved its way in, until the entrance was stretched wider than it was tall. My tip already poked out the opposite end; there was a hole there as well, ostensibly to help with cleaning the canal all the way through, not intended for my grotesque cock to crash through, but there was several inches of dick left. As I slid it further down my shaft, the pocket pussy lost its shape entirely, looking like a thin cocksleeve, shaped just like mine. Once it was hilted, there was enough penis hanging past the end to stuff another pussy with. It twitched with glee, glistening under a mix of lube and precum.

Having gone all the way through for the first time, it was now lubed up, and much easier to stroke with -- far less resistance. The softness rubbing over my shaft was very delicate, so much so that I couldn't help but tense up. I started stroking more vigorously, and... it was the best my dick ever felt. It was like charging up something deep within my powerful cock, something that would breed any woman with numerous children, flood any womb, were this a real pussy. The sensation rose throughout my entire body, and sapped every bit of my energy towards my filling balls, my dick getting harder, and harder, tensing up, ready for release--

It split in half. The pocket pussy crumbled open in my hands, with a visible tear running from the front, across the top, and through the back. It stretched too far.

I ripped it.

I would never get to have anything even resembling sex.

I let the soggy mess of silicone fall to the ground, just as the biggest orgasm of my life seized my genitalia. Hands-free, no stimulation left, just pure arousal, leaving my body the only way it can. My dick flexed and rose a couple inches, and fired indiscriminately the longest stream of semen I'd ever seen. Usually it comes out in spurts, but this was one steady stream, continuously fed by involuntary contractions. It was like pissing cum. Every muscle in my body yielded to the one that mattered most.

...

That was a few months ago. I've been keeping track of my growth, and somewhere along the way I also decided to start journaling, for my mental health. These are some of my lowest points, but now I'm publishing them online to psyche myself up, because there's no way I'm gonna be able to sustain myself without selling my body. So be sure to leave all your feedback.

My cock is almost eight inches in girth, three inches wide. As thick as a soda can, and much longer than one, at eleven inches.

And counting.