Andi's Dream-A Wedding to Plan

"No one lives forever, am I right?" Paul waived the humidor attendant over to their table. "What do you say Frank, Arturo Fuente Opus X? It's on me."

Frank raised his eyebrows at the mention of one of the most expensive cigars available, $100 a piece if you can find them. These are not a cigar you walk into a store and buy off the shelf, you call ahead and order them. "Don't mind if I do," Frank grinned.

The attendant brought the cigars over to their table, "Shall I cut sir?"

"Please do," said Paul, and the attendant snipped the cap off each cigar with a well-practiced clip and offered each man a three jet lighter. After toasting the foot, they lit the cigars properly puffing and enjoying the smoke.

Frank looked at his cigar "this tastes like... like..."

"Jalapeno, you caught that! Few men do," Paul leaned forward conspiratorially. "It's the Dominicans, I don't know how they do it, but when you get Dominican filler, binder, and wrapper, you get a puro, a cigar that's just," he took a reassuring puff, "just miles ahead of the others. Am I right?"

"Right you are," chuckled Frank who set his old, chewed stogy in the ash tray. The attendant came up with a clean ash tray and asked if he could take the old one. Not looking up to acknowledge the attendant, Frank said "Sure, take it."

The attendant took the ashtray containing Franks chewed cigar, left a clean tray, and departed unnoticed. As Paul and Frank talked cigars and chuckled like old friends the attendant stepped outside and was met by Lucy Kocsis who took the cigar with latex glove covered hands and placed the cigar into a ziplock plastic bag then carried it across the parking lot to an Erie County Sheriff's office CSI van that was parked just up a side street.

The black-haired CSI officer in the high-tech van took the cigar and sat down with it and started to do her magic. "If this wasn't for Paulie, there's no way I'd be doing this." The technician looked up at Lucy. "He's from the old neighborhood, and he's the first boy I ever kissed. Man, I should have held on to him tight. Of course, that was the sixth grade - who knew? He was a bum like the rest of us."

"This is a favor for Paul? I thought you were driven by the 'what Momma Giardini says goes' rule," said Lucy as she watched intently.

"Well, yeah, that too. Actually, it's more like 'Momma gets what momma tells her kids to get for her'," said Officer Jankowitz, formerly Annabella Giardini. She had already processed the swabs that Lucy had brought and was reviewing the output from the computer. "Are you sure these are from two separate women? You didn't make a mistake?"

Lucy leaned over Annabella's shoulder and looked at the output. The results looked identical, and Lucy smiled. "Yep, they're identical twins."

"Really!" gasped Annabella. "I've heard that identical twins had identical DNA, but I didn't realize exactly how identical it is. I've never actually seen it for myself before, thanks for this opportunity."

"It's a shame it's off the books."

Annabella nodded, causing her raven locks to sway. "But at least I know now."

About 10 minutes later Lucy left the mobile crime lab clutching a readout from the CSI truck's sophisticated equipment. She went over to the breeze way between the lounge and the restaurant and tapped softly on the lounge door, then turned around and walked into the restaurant. She strode up to the bar and sat down next to the spot where the waiter gets his drinks. She was almost trembling when she ordered a vodka and Sprite.

At the same time the attendant heard the gentle tap and caught Paul's eye as they were starting to talk about boats, and Frank talked long about his pride and joy, a Riviera 72 named the Regal Dream, which has recently been repossessed by the bank, a fact that he didn't share with Paul. The Riviera 72 is a sports motor yacht, four luxury cabins, salon, galley, flying bridge that can be made into a cabin, more bells and whistles than the Orange Blossom Special. "I'm planning to cruise the entire Caribbean after Christmas," said Frank.

"I know it's early, but - drink? It's on me," smiled Paul.

Frank grinned; this was like taking candy from a baby. He's going to drop a writ for child custody and Andi is going to scream. Ol' Doc Paul here is going to write a big fat check to make the writ go away and the Regal Dream is his again. "I'm a bourbon man but hell, it's Christmas. Christmas calls for Crown Royal, on the rocks. Am I right?"

Paul turned to the attendant "My friend will have a Crown Royal on the rocks, and you know what I like." The attendant nodded and stepped out the door, walked into the restaurant, walked up to the bar and ordered a Crown Royal on the rocks. The bar tender placed the drink on the attendant's tray and Lucy, who was sitting at the bar put her vodka and Sprite on the tray also and out the attendant went holding his tray high. Gus saw the attendant walk by carrying drinks and saw that one was a vodka and sprite. He got up and followed the attendant a few moments later. On the other side of the restaurant Ernie Kraft, big as a bear, excused himself from his wife and followed Gus.

The waiter, known to Gus, Ernie and Paul as Larry, stepped into the lounge and set the Crown Royal on the table next to Frank then handed the Sprite and vodka to Paul. For his part Paul didn't know what drink would be coming out for him. Paul considered the vodka and sprite that was in his hand. His other option would have been a Cape Cod, cranberry juice and vodka. The bright red color of that drink indicated stop, go to 'plan b,' and his plan b was weak at best. This colorless drink festooned with lime and a cherry indicated that it was all clear, the green lime said to proceed at full speed, the cherry was something Lucy added. Andi loves cherries and Lucy added it as a reminder hoping Paul would remember not to hurt Andi in what happens next.

And so, it began.

Frank took another puff of his exquisite cigar noticing that the jalapeno taste had faded, and he was now getting notes of chocolate and leather. "So, this is all well and good Doc, but what's your angle?" asked Frank.

"Angle?" asked Paul innocently.

"Don't fool me Doc, everyone has an angle. Here we are, cigars, drinks, boats, what's your angle?"

"Oh, that, yes..." Paul acted if he was reminded of something important. He pulled a folder out of his backpack and pulled out a document "Here's a letter I typed up for you to sign, stating that you acknowledge that the twins, Sandra and Madeline Roberts are not your children and you will not attempt custody at any time. Just sign right there at the bottom and we'll have it notarized and filed with the clerk of Erie county, and that's it." He placed the letter on the table with a pen.

Behind them a woman stepped into the lounge, she had a large briefcase which she sat on an adjoining table and started to open her brief case as Frank scoffed the whole thing away. "Pfft, I ain't signin' this, I ain't signin' nothing. I wanna tell you..."

"First, let me tell you a story of a fellow who sucked at poker," said Paul, the humor drained from his face. Any hint of human charity was gone from his eyes. "This fellow was so bad at poker he tied his wife up and left her naked and blindfolded in a hotel room and he would send men in there to have sex with her to cover his losses."

"Oh, that's bull..."

A hand clamped down on Frank's shoulder and Ernie Kraft held a finger up to his lips and in a voice that was both simple and forceful said "Shhhhh. Doctor Paul is talking."

Another huge hand clamped down on the other shoulder and Gus Di Domissio said "You should listen..."

Paul held up a recorder and pressed the play button. The fellow that Paul recorded was jovial and genuinely enjoyed telling his story.

"So, Frank sucked, I mean really sucked. He had more 'tells' than I could catalog. He's into me for about nine grand and I ask him how he's going to pay up, check this out. He says he's got a high price hooker waiting for him in his room, and she's a real kinky bitch, just grab her tit and she'll make all your problems go away. So, I go into his room and there's this tiny little woman in a bright pink wig tied spread eagle to the bed. Nice tits however so I grab one and she says, "Fuck me master." So, I does it, only later I saw all the bruises."

Paul was shaking, his face turned hateful. Ernie's hand clenched harder. "I have more testimony, lots more, including your brother Vinnie all saying the same story."

"So what? We were kinky, is that a crime? Maybe here, but not in Blackhawk Colorado."

"Actually, What you did in Blackhawk is a crime in Colorado Frank," Paul pulled more documents out of his backpack, "enticing men to have sex with your wife for monetary gain is prostitution. Enticing men to have sex with your wife while she is incapable of preventing such actions is rape, enticing men to have sex with your wife while she believes this man to be you is rape. That's, let's see, ten, fifteen, twenty five, thirty five, oh let's round down to thirty years. Ouch. Sucks to be you."

Lucy held up a document and began to read to Frank. "Also, we did a quick 23 and Me kind of thing on you and the girls and found that wow! You're close to pure Italian and Sicilian, not bad, especially in this neighborhood. The girls however are mostly Nordic and Scandinavian with a bit of Irish on the maternal side, and extraordinarily strong Russian paternal traces, not a trace of Italian in their genes. Looks like you're not related to the girls you call your daughters."

"I didn't give no DNA to no testing!"

"You should be careful what you do with your cigar stubs," sneered Lucy.

"Dat test will never hold up in court!" Frank roared.

"Of course it won't, but the minute you claim in court that these are your daughters I make a motion that the assertion be verified by a DNA test, and we introduce evidence that the girls real father is one of your poker buddies."

Paul leaned in close, "look Frank be reasonable. What you did to Andi was a Class A felony, you can be charged at a minimum as an accessory to rape and prostitution and then we'd start looking through Denver for everyone who played poker with you and charge them too and then we get to play a game of Let's See How Long Frank Lasts In Prison." Paul tapped the document. "Signing this just states the truth, you're not related to the twins and you have no case to try for custody. I walk away happy, and you walk away free. You should be happy knowing that I'm going to make Andi and the twins happy. It's a Win Win situation all around."

"Fuck you," said Frank but after a slight pause he signed the letter.

"Language! There's ladies present." Ernie squeezed Frank's shoulder even harder.

"I'm a lawyer too," fumed Frank, "I going to end up owning everything you have!"

"In that case, let me show you how I'm going to make Andi and the twins happy," Paul pulled two large photographs out of his backpack and slid them across the table to Frank. The first showed the Regal Dream being lifted out of the water at a boat yard in Port Canaveral Florida, the other shows craftsmen preparing to paint a new name on the stern. "She's mine now, her refit will be quick, and her maiden voyage is in two weeks."

Lucy took the letter Frank signed to the dark-haired woman who took out her notary stamp, notarized the letter, scanned it into the Erie County Clerk's database with the scanner/copier/printer that took up most of the room in her case, then printed two copies of the letter which she handed to Lucy. "The original will be in the County Clerk's office by close of business today. Good day gentlemen." With that she closed her briefcase and left.

Paul handed a copy of the letter to Frank who was shocked into silence. "You best be going too, but look, stuff happens, and it piles up, and it's hard to get out from underneath. Work on it, then come around this summer, and we'll talk, a real talk. Until then we will pray for you."

Before Frank could say a word, Gus said to Frank, "You know, there's an old Italian adage that goes Camminare in silenzio assicura sicurezza, it means "walking in silence ensures safety." I think that's good advice, don't you?"

Frank left quickly, but he took the hint and didn't say a word. Then the men remaining, Paul, Gus, Ernie, and the attendant, who turned out to be Larry, the sound man from church gathered together in the middle of the room and put their arms on each other's shoulders and began to huddle. Ernie gestured for Lucy to join them and she did. What she expected to be a back patting congratulatory kind of thing turned out to be a prayer huddle. They prayed for Andi's healing from the barbaric treatment she received from Frank, they prayed for Frank too, that he turns over a new leaf, and that when he gets over this episode he starts to walk a path that would make Andi proud that she was part of his healing.

Afterwards Paul, Gus, and Lucy relaxed and puffed their cigars in silence. It was over. Frank could have driven Andi out of her wits and jeopardized the wedding and their future, but Paul shut him down. "You did it," said Lucy, "You said you would protect Andi and you did it." She lifted her Cape Cod and they touched glasses.

"You got the Cape Cod just in case?" asked Gus.

"No, when I put the vodka Sprite on the tray and Larry took it away I didn't have a drink. I like Cape Cod's, they look Christmassy." She looked at her drink and they sat in silence again.

Gus had picked up Franks Opus X with an "I'm not going to let a good cigar go to waste" and Lucy surprised them both by grabbing a Gurka Ghost from the humidor and lighting up. They all sipped their drinks in silence until Lucy turned to Gus and asked, "Just how old is that 'old Italian adage'?"

Gus looked at his watch. "I guess it's about an hour now," which brought out well needed chuckles.

"Got any more 'old Italian adages'?" she asked.

"Una donna è solo una donna, ma un buon sigaro è un fumo. A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke."

"That's Rudyard Kipling," she smiled and held up her Cape Cod, "from his poem 'The Betrothed.'"

He tapped her drink with his drink, which was originally Frank's untouched Crown Royal.

"I think it's going to be a very merry Christmas," said Paul as he picked up some papers off the table.

"You got some plans boss?" asked Gus.

"Tonight I'm taking my fiancée to the Eagle House in Williamsville. We're going to try the Welsh Rarebit, I think she'll like that, then I'll have the haddock casino."

"Ooo, that's good stuff," said Lucy.

"I hope so," said Paul. "Gosh that's a pretty place. Oh yeah, Lucy, will you be joining us for Christmas?"

"I have second shift at ECMC on Christmas day."

"So, come spend the night at our house with John, Gus, Macy, and the twins on Christmas eve after the ceremony, I'm sure Gus will welcome the company."