All Comments on 'Androshorts: That Bloody Woman!'

I know nothing about sailing - but it works for me. Good story.

And as a fellow Landlubber it ALSO worked for me!

Typo's still evident, but that's your style and I do get lifted along with it - probably in the way you do when you're writing it. Still a big fan, still 5 Stars *****!

Whilst my sailing experience has been restricted to Racing dinghies and the occasional Cross Channel trip from the Kent ports, you provided enough information to give any armchair sailor a flavour of sailing.

This however was not the whole story and I commend you for your handling of the abuse storyline and the human frailties shown within it. You still remain one of my favourite authors.

Just had a read through and the story is CRAWLING WITH WRITTEN COCK-UPS!!

In my rather pathetic defence the time did rather get away from me and I was sailing rather close to the wind (Geddit?!) with getting the story in to Laurel and Randi on time, and it didn't have half the proof reading it needed. Still have work to be done and bills to pay and all that boring stuff after all.

Again, my apologies team, will try harder next time honest,

First off, congratulations on having the guts to take on a subject (sailing) about which you began with little knowledge. Mine is limited to knowing the pointy end is the bow and the rounded end the stern. Of whatever mistakes you claim to have made, I was was ignorant.

Another brilliant piece, as I have come to expect. Pity the prize money from Lit won't sustain you as a full time author; you are far and away one of the best on here.

I was a bit disappointed that there was no scene at the end where their co-workers at the office got to meet the "new" Debs.

Easy... just resubmit with 'edited' in the notes to the website and they will replace it without losing your comments or votes.

A really good read. Dark at times, but death has a way of cleansing the bad seed. I enjoyed the main characters, and the sailing. It was a hoot because I know nothing about sailing either. Good Luck!

"You two need to be able to work together if this is going to be a success..." – Where is HER commitment to working together?

He might have been angry (only because she was such a bitch!) but when she was right, he yielded to her.

"You don't grass on your own!" – First, as she says, you don't turn on your own either! Second, she DIDN'T! The doctor figured it out on his own.

She should have spoken to her sister. She probably would have seen the obvious, and MAYBE could have gotten through to their father.

Mrs. Hawstom should save the PC until she is assured that Harry has been dealt with!

First let me say this was an interesting and very original story. Having once spent six weeks on a half decker around the English channel and Irish sea and the Atlantic coast, I can say your reseach about all things nautical does you credit.

My only criticsim concerns Deb's back story. I'll try to tackle just the glaringly obvious points. You mentioned the colonel's decorations, winning his military cross in Iraq with SAS, Distinguished Service Order for commanding his infantry battalion in Afghanistan. But after WWII the SAS were rarely even mentioned in dispatches much less awardered an MC or DSO, since it would mean disclosing details of their activity despite the bravery shown in any of the actions that they fought.

Then there is Deb's family. They seemed to me, well like caricatures, so monstrous, so evil, that I have a hard time believing that the brother didn't get a knife in the guts from her. And her father was just mental. I understand that this is a unique individual but it's worth mentioning that this goes sooo far from the normal trend. Aside from the odd, roaring alcoholic, most soldiers have a real problem with people who hit women.

Then there was the early description of the violent shennigans of the bullying brother. His actions, the sneaking about, pulling her chair away etc, seemed so outrageous as to sound cartoonish. So too did the father's bullshit to the doctor "I'm in the SAS you know!" He absolutely would have gone out of his way NOT to mention this.

Finally there was the thing about asking for a medal!

"Lieutenant Colonel Conroy asked about a medal for bravery.

"But Henry," said the Regimental Colonel, "he didn't do anything brave."

"What about a Military Medal, Queen's Commendation for Bravery?"

"Like I said Henry, there's too much press on this one my old friend," the Regimental Colonel put his hand on his old comrade's shoulder. "he was killed because he disregarded instructions, the army can't give decorations away for that kind of thing." "

It reads as if you don't know how medals are awarded. Now, that's really OK, but it really is a shame that you didn't research the awards of medals and citations because if you had it would have been clear how scanderously rare they are considering the thankless job they do.

I really don't mean to nitpick but these points really took me out of your otherwise enjoyable story.

Cheers & thanks for the read.

I did do my research on both Iraq and Afghanistan: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica

/usa/1411569/Secret-medals-for-unsung-heroes-of-the-SAS-and-SBS.html

and while no one screamed it from the rooftops the SAS do get recognised for their gallantry.

Secondly domestic abuse is rife in our societies and our military reflects our society. I was a quarter brat for much of my youth and it did exist much as the big khaki family hid it very well. in their defence they did stomp on it when they had to - eventually. I remember children walking to school with us because of their Mum's black eye!

Bullies are bullies the world over and people often pretend it isn't happening, because after all it's waaaay easier to deal with that way.

But hey, it's just a bit of a love story, sorry if it wasn't your kind of thing.

A very enjoyable read - up to your usual high standards. Thank you.

...that this story originates in the UK, thence across the Atlantic and into the Carribean, it’s decidedly British tone makes perfect sense....and the blocky bits....well that’s just proper Brit storytelling!

Thank you.

The story needs some polishing. There was an abrupt shift in the tone of their relationship leading to them sharing a bed. Also, bouncing between first and third person storytelling was confusing. Good backstory for Debs. Keep writing.

One minor quibble - it's DSO MC not the other way round.

I've been reading on literotica for a few years and this has to be one of the best, most heartwarming stories I've read. Great work!

Including how annoying all those sailing terms are.

Excellent story.

Great story mate. Looking forward to more like it.

These stories by androgynousother are just brilliant. Wonderfully romantic with a great plot & just the right amount, and level, of erotica. I really, really enjoyed this one. 5/5 Thank you

Enjoyed this so much. For me your best story, thank you!

I loved that story very much, but there was a kind of too fast forward between being enemies and becoming a couple. Something was missing in between.

And one whose subject matter is all too often ignored.

Well-written and well-timed, it's a good story.

Thanks

HP

I enjoyed most of the story, but the descriptions of Debs’ repeated rape were too much in my opinion. We didn’t need to know how many condoms he brought to her room or that he broke her hymen, etc. It would have sufficed to say he abused her in increasingly violent ways culminating in him raping her over an extended period of time. As described it seems to border on Nonconsensual/Reluctant/Rape as a category. Sexual abuse is very much a problem the world over and needs to be treated as such. I think we could have understood why Debs was the way she was without several pages of detailed descriptions of her abuse on multiple occasions. I usually have no problem awarding 5 stars for your stories, but couldn’t quite get there with this one. Still, you’re a very talented storyteller and remain on my Favorites list.

5 stars from Oz, thanks for your efforts!

You write great stories and this was no exception. However, if you write another story with a military background, remember DSO comes before MC and if you want know more see Wikepedia.

Very good story, I like it a lot.

I would have recommended a trip to an editor, there are a lot of mistakes in it, but otherwise great stuff.

I do agree with "Sraulers" though, the rapes were described a bit too graphically.

When reading it I thought her acceptance of his presence on the boat came about a bit too quickly, but when we later read about her having a crush on him that was straightened out.

Great characters and loved the characters.

Thank you for this work of art.

Yet what made it even more special was your final paragraph acknowledging the important and difficult work done by many to help others and giving those affected the strength to deal with the abuses.

Lovely story, thank you!

Fantastic I loved this story.

Nice, thanks

I agree with comments above that they went from enemies to friends suddenly and with no obvious reason. And he was calling her ‘honey’ before you knew it.

Absolutely positively irrefutably my all time new favorite story! Since I have been a sailor for 40 years I loved the transformative cross Atlantic trip of self discovery. Throughout the pacing and gentle treatment employed by the author here makes this a true pleasure. My hearty congratulations on a job very well done!

A five star story. Intense and troubling but also entertaining and uplifting. Thank you so much.

I actually said 'S'pose we might as well get married then' to my girlfriend. Been married 48 years this year.

Touched me on several levels. A very well written piece of work. Thank you.

5 stars. A few grammar issues even in the story description but overall a great story. A bit sad at times but had a very happy ending. If I had one complaint is that they went from enemies to friends very fast.

A fine read. Needs an edit, granted but the whole was spectacular.

Good layered story, good characters and character development

Excellent !!!! Some was very tough to read as a Dad of 3 daughters, but you covered the subject well. Thank you for writing this.

This story was truly awful and pathetic. The author writes the same story, over and over, and parts of this could literally have been cut and pasted from other stories as they are virtually identical. The incest is disgusting, and the female character goes from total bitch to angel instantly with no transition. Really not worth reading.

I noticed no sailing holes, but shouldn’t it be OBE (Order of the British Empire) instead of BEM?

A difficult story in many respects but it kept me reading it to the end. The fact that she had a crush on him already, revealed late on, clarified some of the earlier aspects of their relationship. Thank you for posting it.

A reread. I got up close and personal with the sib rape forty years ago. The writer handled it very well. The technical aspects of writing are over the mark.

":Debs hardly spoke to him for the first day, and as they motored a long the channel westward waiting for the wind to pick up he guessed."

Come on, you can do better than this without breaking a sweat.

A seventh grader could easily find and fix the six or so obvious grammatical, punctuation, and style errors in this one sentence. These things matter; failing at them distracts inordinately from your otherwise very readable prose and interesting stories.

Did you proofread this mess at all before submission?

People from Wales are the Welsh. Welsh Lancers. [No such unit, I don't believe, but NP with that, creative license, etc.}

The Welch are people who sell grape juice. 'Welch' Lancers is so egregiously silly, it's almost insulting to the Welsh.

Smoother sailing then the fierce storms I had imagined at sea rather than the emotional PTSD portrayed. Imaginative therapeutic voyage in a romantic odessey. Precocious fun daughter.