All Comments on 'Anna's Transformation Epilogue'

...on writing something that will essentially please no one. Most people who want to read a romance don't want to read a cheating story, even people like myself who read both. It's a cliche in the erotic romance genre that 95 percent of them promise a HEA, *no cheating*, no cliffhanger. Because nothing turns off a romance reader like someone who cheats.

The few romances I've read where a man (usually) steals another man's wife (or more usually fiancee or girlfriend) it has to be justified by a bad act or acts by the original male partner. Think of all the romantic comedies you've seen, it's not enough for the female protagonists first partner to be milquetoast or wimpy, he has to do something actively awful. Usually cheating, occasionally extreme douchebaggery or criminal behavior.

Your attempt to justify it with the scene in the pool where Anna decides that Andy doesn't find her attractive when he tries to stop her from skinny dipping. As opposed to Andy's actual motivation of not wanting her to be naked in front of someone who obviously wants in his wife's pants is bullshit. Anna comes off as delusional.

There are boundaries that sane people understand. It's great to know that other people find your partner attractive, it implies that they actively choose to be with you despite the fact they clearly have options and thus is bit of an ego boost. Andy seems like that's his motivation in the earlier chapters. It's not an egregious violation of marital vows. He's gratified by the fact that Jack finds Anna attractive.

It's also inevitable that occasionally your partner will find other people attractive. "I'm married not blind" is a cliche for a reason. And in a sane relationship it's accepted that while the couple may be physically with each other, a bit of purely mental infidelity, ie fantasizing about other people while having sex with your significant other or even while masturbating without your SO, is OK and a healthy outlet. It's another thing entirely for Jack and Anna to flaunt their mutual attraction in Andy's face by getting naked, going skinny dipping and then Anna giving Jack a handjob.

All this is to say that Andy does nothing objectionable that would justify cheating in a traditional romance genre story. Also he just disappears there's no goodbye scene between him and Anna nor a confrontation between him and Jack, the lack of either of these scenes adds to the weakness of your story.

If one wants to read a cheating wife erotic story, on the other hand, all the romance gets in the way. It's superfluous to the story. Especially because so much of the reason Anna cheats is physical... Jack is handsome, tall, muscular, and he has a huge cock. He's also a lot richer than Andy and spends a lot of money on Anna so she comes across as a shallow gold digger.

Also so much of Jack's attraction is physical as well she's blonde and gorgeous and has big boobs that are increasing in size!

All this is to say you failed at writing a romance, and because you attempted to insert that romance into what could have been a decent cheating wife story, you've failed at the erotica too.

I think the reason I've written so much in this jumbled-essay of a review is that I think you're actually a decent writer and you had the bare bones of what could have been a very good story. So I haven't rated any of the stories in this series with one star, but neither have I given any of them five or even four stars.

Umm I feel bad about that guy who wrote a scathing review… I mean like dude it’s a website and just write whatever. Someone out there will enjoy it, and don’t let a guy who writes reviews for fucking erotica stop you from writing. Just letting you know I enjoyed it for what it’s worth, and keep at it… ig.

No anal, no tit-fucking to completion? Just a lot of fucking and endless moon-eyes at each other— and then at the end, they wait two years to have kids? No conflict with Andy? Yawn. Reminds me of the scene in Amadeus where Mozart gives his opinion of Italian Opera to the Archduke.

Good for you for getting it f

Good for you for getting the story done, but I think you need conflict to make this satisfying. Otherwise it's just repetitive and vanilla.

I was hoping that the baby was furthered by Andy. Now that would have been a great ending.

This is a perfect ending to what is overall a marvelous romantic story; simply one of the best on the site. Five stars.

Terrible story and it only got worse the farther it went. Started off as wife sharing and is a prime example why you don't share your wife. Secondly the way Anna treated her husband was sickening she showed no respect for him at all. Anna really is a fool falling for a guy who is willing to sleep with a married woman? The same man who befriended her husband and her just to steal his wife. That is the definition of a POS. Andy should have wrecked him with a bat that would have been a more satisfying ending. This is not a romance story like some have put below no this is a tale of a foolish woman who will probably be divorced in three to five years from a guy like this. I personally know three women who did this same thing to their husbands and all ended up miserable The worst part is people know having open marriages most likely will lead to divorce yet fools still do it.

I have to say this story was so hard to get through from all the constant affection in between the decent erotic parts. It just isn't that good and could have been better.