Another Vice Pt. 02

The tears ran dry leaving Maggie's eyes swollen and red. She hadn't cried that hard and from that deep in her heart in a long time. The weight of losing Ben, again, was suffocating.

She knew she would never be able to rationalize these feelings to anyone. Her closest friends would think she had gone mad. This wasn't a crush or an ordinary love. It wasn't lust or a mid-life crisis. Ben was her soulmate. She had made a terrible error a long time ago. The years of accumulated grief and remorse came to a head and now Maggie felt desperate to make them right.

She pulled into the garage steeling herself for the rest of the day. If she took a second to wallow in her sadness now, she wouldn't accomplish everything she needed before her family came home. She drew a full breath and got to work.

Right on time, the garage door opened and slammed. Little footprints scattered across the floor and sweet voices called out, "Mama!" For the first time since she left the park, genuine happiness took over her heart.

"Hello!" she crooned scooping her kids in a tight hug. "How was your day?"

A flurry of stories told in hyper enthusiasm spilled from her two children's mouths. The excitement and passion contained in such small bodies always amazed Maggie. She adored being a mom.

As she was being debriefed on the antics at recess, the garage door opened and closed again. Maggie felt the pit in her stomach tighten.

"Hey, how was your day?" Maggie asked as her husband, Joseph walked by.

"Fine," his one word reply was something Maggie had grown used to and loathed all at the same time. She knew there would be only a couple handful of words between them for the rest of the night.

She wasn't sure when their relationship became so businesslike. Over time it had morphed into transactions involving credits and debits centered around home life. She dropped off, he picked up. She took care of the house, he the yard. The goal appeared to be to stay in their own lanes and keep any kind of feelings far away. She had long wondered where his loyalty fell within their union.

Per the norm, the evening was centered solely around the kids. After they were in bed, Joseph retreated to the basement and Maggie prepared lunches for the next day. She would climb into bed by herself, Joseph joining much later into the middle of the night. A chasm would form down the middle of the mattress that neither would pass over.

As she laid in the silence alone, she let the day's events roll over her. She loved Ben, Ben loved her, but they couldn't be together. A simple concept on paper.

The next morning Maggie heard her text notification, but she was busy at work and ignored it until lunchtime. As she unpacked her salad, she took out her phone and froze when she saw Ben's number. The message glared at her like a street lamp, "Call me when you can."

She balked at first, not wanting to put herself through the anguish of rejection again. What else was there to say? Still, her curiosity piqued and she was dialing the number before she could second guess herself.

"Hello?" That damn voice ripping down the wall she was trying so hard to build.

"What's going on? Is everything ok?" She tried to match his level of calm and failed miserably.

"Yeah. No. I... Leaving yesterday sucked. I've thought about it all night." The weight of his feelings hung thick from each word.

"It was hard. You left me this time and it didn't feel good to be on that side of the decision." Her honesty was unguarded and raw.

"I've thought about it a lot since our first conversation, and seeing you yesterday confirmed my decision. I can't imagine breaking up my family, but I can't imagine not seeing or talking to you again." Ben hurled the confession at Maggie.

A long audible sigh escaped Maggie's lips before she could answer, "I feel the same way, but I don't want to sneak around. I want you. I want to create an 'us.' I want to love your kids and you mine and make a family with you. I'm ready to jump, Ben."

There was a pause long enough to make Maggie question if the line had been disconnected. Finally Been responded, "I can't do that. I can't lose my family and I don't want to lose contact with you. Let's keep talking and see how it goes."

Maggie felt the sting of his words. He loved her, but that love wouldn't trump the love he had for his family and keeping them a unit. The decision was back on her shoulders. She didn't want to cheat. The hurt inflicted by that decision would be far greater than ending the marriage and being honest.

"Let's see how talking goes then, " Maggie said, a chip forming on her shoulder.

"Can we meet up for lunch on Friday?" Ben proposed.

"Uhm, sure, " Maggie was dizzy from the roller coaster of feelings and emotions from this conversation alone.

They firmed up plans for lunch and hung up. Maggie thought about the situation for the rest of the day. Although it was unfortunate that they would not have a chance to do life together, she decided that conversations and an occasional lunch were harmless.

Friday arrived and Maggie found herself giddy with excitement, yet again. She took care of her choices of dress, makeup, and hair. Ben made her feel beautiful inside and out, and she wanted to reflect that in her appearance. Not that any of it mattered, it was just a meal with a good friend, but still.

They had agreed to meet halfway so they could ride together and chat on the drive. Conveniently, they pulled into the parking lot at the same time. He waved her over, signaling she would be riding with him.

"Hey," Maggie said as she climbed in.

"Hey. You look incredible." Ben said as his eyes feasted on her toned thighs, one crossed over the other. "I thought maybe we would take a drive along the river before lunch if that's ok?" His stare traveled up her legs, paused at her bare shoulders, and finally met her eyes.

"Sure, " Maggie said with a shy smile. She knew he was taking in the sight of her, she could detect the lust in his eyes. His hungry gaze made her skin feel feverish. She hadn't experienced anything like this in years, and her head was swimming with excitement. She tried to reminded herself it was just a drive and lunch.

They headed east following the river. The scenery was beautiful. Massive trees overhung winding narrow country roads creating flashes of sun and shade on Ben's face. The sun glinted off of the water and a refreshing breeze flowed through the truck. Maggie took a deep inhale and closed her eyes, wanting to seal in this exact moment forever.

"Brings back memories of driving around together like college kids, doesn't it?" Ben asked.

"It does, but I didn't appreciate it as I should have. So much was wasted on taking moments for granted. I thought those years would last forever, and it wasn't until later I realized I was living the good days." The regret made her shoulders sag down.

"It all happened the way it was supposed to, " Ben said confidently and patted her leg.

The touch heightened Maggie's awareness and she ached for more contact. Before he could move, she reached down and placed her hand in his. Eyes averted, she gave a demure smile.

"Miss Stuart...behave yourself. I remember that look."

"I am behaving! If I wanted to misbehave, I'd do something like this," Maggie let go of his hand and pulled the hem of her dress up a bit. Leaning over, she gently sucked on his earlobe and kissed his neck. Her finger traced from his lips, down his chest, and to the bulge forming in his pants.

What was she doing?! Alarms were screaming in her head, yet she couldn't stop. She was out of control. Free falling.

"I'm driving and you're distracting me," Ben teased.

"Now I'm being accused of distracting? You should remember I have much better techniques to be distracting." Maggie let the words hang in the air. An invitation to deny or accept.

"What I remember is you give a phenomenal blow job and you're an attentive lover." Ben got straight to the point.

"The only change to that memory is that I've gotten even better at both." Maggie's look had gone from coy to downright seductive.

The flirting went back and forth as they continued to drive deeper into rural territory. They enjoyed reminiscing about their young love and laughed at their inexperience. Eventually, Ben pulled onto a gravel drive and followed it back to a cabin situated on a lake.

"Where are we?" Maggie asked as she took in the peaceful scenery. It definitely wasn't a restaurant.

"This is my lake house. A little getaway place for the weekends and hot summer days," Ben replied as he walked towards her.

Maggie's stomach flipped. This was it. If she went into his cabin, she knew what would happen. Although not wholly innocent, everything up to this point could be swept under the rug and forgotten. Once she went in, everything changed. There would be no turning back.

They both kicked at the gravel and shifted weight from one foot to the other, making small talk about the property. Maggie barely comprehended what Ben was saying over the internal dialogue going on in her head.

Sensible and married Maggie was screaming to compliment the cabin and get back in the truck asserting she was starving for lunch. Lustful and lost love Maggie was begging her to go in and succumb to what should have been all along.

The seriousness of the impending decision was evident by the look on both of their faces. So much time had passed since they had been together, but it seemed like nothing at all in their hearts. The love they shared was real and undeniable.

Ben reached for Maggie and led her to the front door of the cabin. The adrenaline coursing through her veins could have fueled a rocket ship straight to the moon. Flashes of her life whizzed through her brain- kids, husband, job, family, and friends. She had told Ben she was ready to jump. This isn't what she meant, but this is what was happening. Maggie held her breath and silenced any rational thinking as she entered the cabin.

The door barely shut before they were locked in a fierce embrace. Ben's strong arms wrapped tight around her. Their kiss was deep and passionate. Both fully in sync with the other, they moved as if they had been lovers their entire lives. Ben picked Maggie up, her legs wrapping around his waist, their lips never parting. He carried her to a bedroom and set her onto the mattress.

"I love you, Maggie," Ben said as he hovered over her sprawled body.

"I love you, Ben," Maggie teared up with relief, finally able to say the words out loud.

They worked in rushed motion to remove each other's clothes, pausing only to kiss and nibble as new flesh was exposed. Maggie could feel her wetness dripping between her legs. An ache forming that only an orgasm would remedy. Before her own release, there was something she wanted to do first.

Breaking free, Maggie told Ben to lie on his back. As she kneeled between his spread legs, she tied back her long hair. She didn't want any distractions. Ben put his arms behind his head and gazed at Maggie's naked body.

Maggie kept eye contact as she licked her lips and lowered her mouth towards Ben's bouncing cock. Flicking her tongue out, she slowly licked from mid-shaft to the top of the head. She took him into her mouth and lowered down unhurriedly. Her lips wrapped around his girth as she began to suck.

"Maggie," Ben gasped as a shutter crossed his body. Maggie met the call of her name with a low moan.

Getting into the rhythm that Ben reacted to with enthusiasm didn't take long. Indulging in this oral act of pleasure was always a favorite for Maggie. She relished feeling Ben tense and shake, hearing his breathing speed up, the pressure from his grip increasing on her arms. As he came, Maggie took him down her throat and gulped his sweet cum.

"That was incredible," Ben sighed. "You're right. You upped your game."

Maggie smiled and snuggled close to him, her leg draped over his body. They laid in silence, the lightest touch from her fingertips stroking Ben's chest. After several minutes, he began to stir.

Ben rolled out from underneath her, his body directly over hers, and whispered, "Thank you."

Maggie lifted her head slightly and kissed his full lips. Little did he know, the pleasure was all hers. His strong hands clutched her hips and he pulled her body towards the edge of the bed. Maggie felt a jolt of anticipation from the bottom of her feet directly to her swollen clit.

Ben kneeled on the ground and pulled her towards him. She rested her legs on the tops of his shoulders as she closed her eyes and sighed. She felt his warm breath encompassing her and then a burst of pleasure as his tongue licked her slit.

Maggie's back arched and her hands grabbed behind Ben's head pulling him in deeper. The build-up to this moment had her highly aroused. Ben expertly toggled between licks, sucks, and kisses. Each sensation bringing her closer to climaxing.

Her thighs began to quiver and her abs contracted arduously as an intense orgasm overtook her body. Flashes of light passed behind her eyes and her breathing came in pants. It was the best release she had experienced in a while.

They both fell back into the bed and intertwined around each other. The exhaustion and calmness in their bodies was a deliciously wonderful feeling. It didn't take long until their eyes were heavy and they were fighting drifting off to sleep.

"We better go. I think we took an extended lunch, " said Maggie with a mischievous smile.

"You wore me out," Ben said between a yawn and a full-body stretch.

They gathered their clothes and slowly got dressed. Maggie knew there would need to be a conversation about today's events on the way back to her car. She was mystified by what her answers would be for the looming hard questions. She hadn't planned for this scenario.

Before they stepped out of the cabin, Ben pulled Maggie close and kissed her deeply. The afternoon had been incredible, but yet, their actions had been wrong. The mind fuck of it all instantly started to overwhelm her.

They left miles behind them before either Maggie or Ben was brave enough to speak. Maggie was massaging Ben's right hand, something he adored in college.

"So..." Ben broke the silence first.

"So," Maggie replied, too apprehensive to say more.

"How are you feeling?" Ben was going to cut straight to the gist.

"Ohh..." Maggie wished like hell she could come up with something intelligent to say. "My feelings haven't changed. I want to make a life with you. I don't want to hurt my family and I would rather leave under honest terms. With that said, being able to see you and talk to you again has filled a void in my heart. I know perfectly well that adultery is wrong. I sound like a fool trying to justify it, but I feel like it is different with you. I'm not out sleeping with random people, it's you. I've loved you since college statistics and I love you now."

Ben nodded in acknowledgment and squeezed her hand. Maggie tensed waiting for his reply. Her intuition told her what to expect, but her heart hoped for a different conclusion.

Ben started, "It isn't something anyone else is going to understand. What we are doing is wrong. It's wrong to our spouses and it is wrong to our children. But...I can't quit you. I can't make a life with you as you want, but I can do my best to be a part of yours."

And there it was. In an abundance of words, they had agreed to carry on an affair together.

They went in circles about their immoral behavior, but somehow, because it was them, it was excused. In some ridiculous way, it made sense, and as they pulled into the parking lot next to Maggie's car they accepted their new "relationship."

"I will text you in the morning," Ben promised.

"Have a good rest of the day," Maggie said as she walked to her car.

And just like that, their tryst began.

They talked every day by texts and calls, but Wednesday afternoons were set aside to see each other. They would often spend all week sending dirty texts back and forth so that when they met, they were inundated with desire.

One such Wednesday resulted in Maggie straddling Ben and riding him in the driver's seat on a dead-end road alongside SR 152. Another time she met him after a business trip dressed in nothing but a trench coat and heels. Multiple walls of hotels across the state witnessed their uninhibited love. Sexually, they were on fire. Their exploration knew no limits. Maggie experienced things with Ben she thought would always remain a fantasy.

Their new "relationship" wasn't all physical. Conversations between them were easy and never grew boring. They challenged each other on differing views and offered advice on obstacles that popped up. One day they drove to a quaint town, acting like tourists, and walked the cobblestone streets before riding the ferry back across the river. Maggie felt seen by Ben and Ben admitted on more than one occasion that Maggie made him feel like a King. As cliche as it sounded, they were lovers and best friends.

Still, the reality of their situation was always just under the surface. They had a strong respect for each other's family time and adhered to strict rules on hours and days so that communication would not interfere with home life. For what it was, they made the best of it.

Finding the balance between her real and secret life had been surprisingly easy for Maggie. She was able to compartmentalize each version of herself and give all her attention to whatever role she was in. Ben, however, was struggling. After six months, Maggie sensed things beginning to change.

Conversations throughout the week began to dwindle. The content of their exchanges became a bit forced. One day after Christmas break, Ben mentioned that he was having a hard time keeping up with the affair.

"I am having a lot of guilt and remorse," Ben said while they were driving one Wednesday. "I'm sorry Maggie. I can't keep this up."

Maggie was stunned. Speechless. Being stoic went out the window and she fought hard not to crumble and cry. The tears streamed down her face as he continued talking about still loving her, but not wanting to continue wronging his family. Each word broke another chunk from Maggie's heart. She was foolish to ever think this would last a lifetime, but that didn't dull the immense pain to her very being.

That Wednesday ended with Ben suggesting a date, just a few weeks away, to be their last rendezvous. Maggie couldn't hide her disappointment and embarrassment. She always knew she was second to his family, but now she felt downright rejected.

Gone were the days of effortless talks, each interaction now caused an argument. Intrinsically, Maggie knew what Ben said was true. They could not maintain a lifetime affair. The six months alone were wrong, but she grappled endlessly on what had changed so quickly that made Ben want to end things.

The last Wednesday meeting arrived and Maggie wept as she tried to get ready. She drove out to their usual meeting place and stifled a sob as she saw Ben's truck pull up next to her for the last time. She got in, faking a smile and cheery disposition.

"Hey!" She forced through a half smile.

"Hey. Look, I know this is hard. Can we enjoy today? I want this to be a good memory. It isn't that I don't love you, I do. But I can't continue. This isn't goodbye. I still want to have contact with you, I just can't keep up a physical relationship." Ben's words were measured and clear.

"Yeah, sure," said Maggie. Her words were flat and dull.

They headed to lunch at a restaurant that they often dined in. Maggie's emotions were running wild and she felt nostalgia over their regular booth and waitress. Not much was said at lunch. Niceties weren't Maggie's strong point. It had been weeks since they had made love. Maggie hoped he would grant her one last time today.