All Comments on 'Aphrodite's Reward Ch. 03'

I like the pacing in this chapter much better. The characters that are introduced are great and once again I never had the problem of wondering who was who. This cast is getting pretty large and we're only 3 chapters in, so that's a really good sign! Moreso, the characters aren't just clearly defined, but also very well envisioned. I liked the priestesses, the interplay between the companions, and of course the final scene in Davos' room.

Alaric also seems to be well set up as a villain. The way you put his obvious insecurities out there without spelling it out is very good. He seems like a man who can't really live up to his title, and his frustration is leading him down some very dark paths. Although I could be wrong there!

You've also completely fixed the main problem I had with the last story here. There's no fretting or philosophising, and the sex feels very natural and fulfilling without anyone getting victimised or sidelined. Davos took his chance with Majella and the scene worked perfectly without stopping and asking "are you sure?" in twenty different ways. Girl just wants to get laid! ^_^

I also liked the bit where Davos pays the tip. Again, it was a really strong moment to carry across his kind nature without the need to fret about it. This was a good example of show don't tell being put into practice.

I know that this setting was written off the cuff, from what you've said in your profile. I actually like that. I think when writers put too much effort into world building, you can sometimes get stories more focused on showing the world off (Tolkien), or stories that seem to revolve around setting systems like magic (Sanderson). This isn't always a terrible thing, and I like those two authors, but it is sometimes to the detriment of a compelling plot and characters. I wrote The Missing Dragon practically off the cuff and found it unexpectedly enjoyable to make it up as I went along. The world is now fully fleshed out around the story rather than the story being fleshed out into the world. I'd be interested to know if you're having any similar experiences in writing this.

I don't know if you've actively tried to improve on this, but I thought that you also got the balance right here in terms of putting across your argument. In your past works it's been a little too obvious at times that you're trying to legitimise an agenda for having open relationships and women being equally promiscuous as men. I'm actually all for that, but it's still felt a bit too heavy handed in SOME of your work. It's not a terrible flaw, and the stories often more than make up for it in other areas. Here however, you've done it very well in establishing a way that Davos looks at the world and making some strong female characters for him to have fun with. It's not something I find remotely troubling and I didn't think Davos was taking advantage of Majella there at the end (quite the opposite! The lucky bastard.) I mean, it's all about finding balance between Davos not coming off as a user of women and not turning him into a morally crippled wreck every time someone comes on to him. You do that very well here, and as nice as it is to see a bad writer get good, it's much more enjoyable to see a good writer get great! :-D

So there be my thoughts on this chapter, I hope they were helpful!

Excellent work as always. I wonder if you intend to make this a longer piece or a shorter one? Good solid protagonist, and who doesn't love the wanderer spirit.

Great work as usual. Keep it up!

Great review Lien, and another great chapter, of course I think all your work is pretty good :)

great story, cant wait to see where it goes

Waiting for the next installment eagerly. :)

Amazing work as always! Can't wait to see where you take this.

superb work eagerly waiting for more!!

*memeface*

I can't wait for you to do one more installment, and then take it down from Literotica and make people pay for it! As if you had to make a living or something!

I do hope you plan on publishing this at some point. It is just as good as your previous work!

5 stars for sure. Good job

What pleasure it was to come across this superb piece. Can't wait to read what comes next.

I hope this story continues.

It is simply amazing.

Great story, it flowed very well - I hope it continues!

I enjoyed this story and hope that you find the inspiration to continue it. If you published this on something like smash books I would pick it up without a second thought.

Don't leave us hanging here dude. :)

Please tell me you have more plans for this. I loved this.

that you continue this. Fav story, fav author; waiting & begging you keep going...

The flow of the chapter felt very natural, the sex was well written, and you have a follower. Please continue this story here, or, if it is a book, tell us (your followers) the name so we may continue to enjoy the wonderful tale you have woven for us.

I picked up this story here at part 3 and went back to read them all in order. While I am not usually into this D&D-ish genre, I found your story - very well written, with highly engaging and unexpectedly well-developed characters - to be a delightful surprise. You picked out worthwhile plot elements, and an unlikely hero to thrust into your situations. Like those others who gave you encouraging feedback, I eagerly await your next segment of this fine tale.

This was really awesome and i would love to read more!!

blend of fantasy, sex, love, betrayal, etc., etc...well done & thanks for your time and talent

I know that the odds of this ever finding its conclusion are low, but let me dream. It's a great story, and I enjoyed every bit of it.

I really enjoy your writing style and this story and I hope you continue it. :)

Does anyone know if the author is still around? This is to good a story to not be finished.

No, he's not around any more because he's now a professional writer. He took some of the other stories he wrote here and was able to go pro with it. He sold it as a novel and removed the first draft versions from this site. Go read his author bio page. The links and titles of his books on Amazon will lead you to the new pseudonym that he currently publishes under on Amazon.

but where is all the rest?

All those possibilities, fine girls -pardon- lady's & boys :-)

I need to start remembering to check the last page and make sure the story is completed before picking it up.

The disappointment is almost not worth it when you get a good story. :(