Appalachian Confessions Pt. 04

While she gathered herself, I still had some work to do, but I had to rely on my memory of what had just occurred. I flattened my feet against the hard ground with legs parted, closed my eyes and again reached into my leggings with one hand while I pinched my breast with the other. I hoped she wouldn't mind, but I was so close to cumming that I couldn't wait until I got home. I opened one eye as I again fantasized, and Lucy was simply acting as a nervous "lookout," occasionally peeking back at me from a distance. To my surprise, my juices flowed more from thinking about what 'coincidentally' happened to her professor, and I felt the warmth building to a crescendo as I thought about the nasty anonymous "lead" that I supplied to the police.

"Oh fuck, FUUUUUCK!"

My hips bucked and I rubbed my clit faster until I spasmed with the overwhelming feeling of an intense climax.

"Shit," I said to myself.

"Wow, I think you startled the wildlife," Lucy laughed from her vantage point of roughly twenty feet away.

"Sorry, I guess I got a little carried away," I said quietly as I rose and tried to gather myself.

Little did she know that thoughts of ambushing her old professor were the fuel that got me over the edge. I knew then and there that I needed some kind of therapy. After all, how fucked up was I that her professor's pain was my quickest path to orgasm?

"It's okay. I wish I could let loose like that, but I guess I have always been pretty inhibited in bed - or actually in the field," she joked meekly as she looked around, and I chuckled politely.

"Let's get back home. Still okay with, you know.. what did you call it? That 'friends and flings' thing?"

I nodded and corrected her under my breath, "Friends with benefits."

"Oh yeah, that."

I had to be honest with myself. I did suddenly feel some regrets about our arrangement, but only after cumming hard, and I knew that if - and when - she asked again I would be powerless to deny her. I felt slightly used, but it was by my choice, and I was surprised at how much I missed the tenderness and foreplay that was so amazing with Beth. I wasn't quite sure where I was headed with that relationship, but I knew exactly where I stood with Lucy, and I was okay with that. I HAD to be. There was no choice.

It was one of the more awkward drives back to the trailer park. Although we made some small talk, it was uncomfortable, and I couldn't wait to get back home. As we approached the entrance, I saw Jed's truck coming from the opposite direction before slowing down and pulling down the gravel drive. I scooted down in the seat and asked Lucy to slow down. We stayed twenty or thirty yards behind his truck and by his slow pace and the movements of his head it was clear that he was searching for something - or someone. His sidekick was in the passenger seat as usual, and the gunrack was empty. I had never seen him near our home before, and I worried about the missing rifle from the gun rack. He slowed down when he got to my trailer, and I asked Lucy to keep driving down the path.

She asked, Destiny, what's going on?"

"Prolly nuthin' but I just wanna be sure."

We drove further down the trail and I turned to see Jed pulling up, nearly hitting the side of our trailer and sitting there idling.

"Shit, he knows," I mumbled under my breath.

Lucy looked over at me again but didn't say anything. We sat in the car, out of his view and watched them get out of the truck. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I felt helpless as I could only watch what was happening down the road. We were close enough that we could hear them pounding on my trailer's screen door and shouting something. It took me only a few seconds to make out his ramblings. He was swearing and calling for Beth to "get on out here."

I couldn't take it any longer. I jumped out of Lucy's car and raced toward the trailer. Before I could get there, I saw the tip of a shotgun extending from the screen door and pressed against Jed's forehead. As I got closer I saw my father at the other end of it, calmly talking so low that I couldn't hear what he was telling Jed, who now held his hands up high above his head, as did Billy. I froze in place. Jed and Billy slowly turned around and got back into the pickup truck. I couldn't hear what they were saying to my father as they exited, but I saw Jed waving his fist at him so I knew it was something threatening. Jed threw it into reverse and kicked up stones as he pulled out. His tires spun and his truck fishtailed down the road.

Lucy pulled up and asked what was happening. I just shrugged and she slowly drove down behind me while I ran to the trailer. I pulled open the screen door and saw the shotgun propped up against the wall next to the tv. My father was pacing back and forth with a cigarette in his hand. Although I was sure that I knew what was going on, I had to ask.

"Daddy, what was that about?"

"Just those drunk bastards again. Lookin' for your brother's ex."

"Again? What do you mean 'again?' "

"They come by a coupla days ago too when you were in school, but this time I was ready for 'em. I told 'em she ain't been here in a coupla years but they dint believe me, so...I had to convince 'em."

He pointed toward the shotgun with his cigarette, and I could see his hand shaking. I glanced out and saw Lucy pulling in front of her trailer. She looked over at ours before heading inside. I was convinced that Jed and Billy had somehow learned that I was involved, either with Beth or with the damage to the truck, and my head was spinning. They were way too close to me now - and worse yet - to my family. For now I needed to find Beth before they did. I quickly changed into old jeans, before asking my father if I could take the car. By that time he was starting on his second six-pack of Old Milwaukee, so he was mellow enough that he just nodded and snaked his keys from his pocket, tossing them in my direction.

I made sure that the coast was clear and headed over to the Piggly Wiggly. I knew she wouldn't be there but I wanted to see if her co-workers would have any ideas as to where she was. When I reached the store, there was no sign of the truck, so I parked around the side and cautiously entered. The store was relatively empty and it was near closing time, so the three workers were lingering at the register and impatiently watching the clock. I approached them with a phony smile and asked if they knew were Beth was. With the worst poker-faces, each of them mumbled and shook their heads in harmony.

"No, we ain't seen her in a couple days," the older one said without making eye contact.

"It's pretty important that I find her. Are you sure you don't know where she is?"

It was clear that if they knew they weren't sharing it. I heard them chattering when I turned and left. Dusk was falling and it was a school night but it occurred to me that there was one place that she may have felt safe. I pulled out of the lot. In near-panic mode I drove way too fast toward the lake and our prior spot. When I reached the area, I sped by the hidden entrance and had to do a u-turn to get back. I felt an adrenaline rush as I drove down the trail and reached the signs. Turning left, it was nearly pitch black as I slowly drove toward the parking lot. When I finally reached it, I was disappointed to see that it was empty. I scanned the lot in the darkness, wondering where she could be. As I swung the car around to leave, I got a glimpse of a dark car partially obscured by overgrown bushes in the corner of the lot. I slowly drove closer to it and realized that it was the Crown Victoria, nearly hidden from view. My heart raced, and against my better judgement, I parked and slowly opened my car door, mentally kicking myself for leaving my brother's pocketknife at home. When I got closer I saw that the windows were rolled down. I dreaded the thought of what was inside. I quietly crept closer and peeked inside. There was no one in the front, but hidden under a blanket was a form on the back seat.

"Shit!" I swore under my breath, expecting the worst. I knocked on the side of the car. No movement. I tried the back door but it was locked, so I cautiously reached inside to unlock it. I knew I should have left to find help, but something compelled me to carry out my task. With the door open, I nudged the body under the blanket, but there was still no movement. With no working dome light in the car, it was almost pitch-black. I poked at the blanket one more time and shakily reached under it, making contact with hair. Was it Beth's? Still no movement. I tried to see in the darkness but I could barely make out my own hand in front of me. I slowly reached lower and to my relief, I felt a warm neck. As I touched her, she whimpered lightly and coughed, then wheezed.

"Destiny? Is that...you," she asked quietly, still curled in the fetal position and facing the back of the seat. She struggled to move, and I heard her labored breathing in the darkness.

"It's me. Are you...are you okay?"

"I dunno," she wheezed through deep breaths. "I think my ribs are broken, and I can't catch my breath. Did - did anyone see you coming here?"

"No, I don't think so. I mean, who would even know where this place is anyway?"

I tried to help her into a sitting position, but she was so frail that every place that I touched hurt her.

"I'm gonna get you to a hospital, and we need to call the police," I said, feeling my blood beginning to boil again.

"They'll kill me if we do that, you know that," she said, sniffling. "And I can't hide forever."

"Well, let's get you to the hospital and figure out the rest later, okay?"

She nodded, and I carefully propped her up, buckled her into the back seat and abandoned my car in the lot. The nearest hospital was probably twenty miles away, and I floored the gas pedal of the Crown Victoria, no longer able to control my rage. When we finally reached the hospital, I entered through the ER entrance and found someone to help. They gently lifted her out of the car and placed her on a gurney, then wheeled her in as I watched. I wasn't a smoker, but I really felt like I needed a cigarette. I gave the admissions clerk as much information as I could before phoning my brother to let him know where I was. I didn't know her number, so I asked him to call her family and he agreed. I desperately wanted to call the police, but I knew that was the job of the hospital or Beth herself, so against my better judgement, I didn't.

I stayed overnight in the waiting area, exhausted but unable to sleep. I kept thinking that Jed and Billy could burst through the entrance at any time, and I hoped that they were already in custody. Beth's sister arrived and sat with me as I tried to explain what happened. Finally at dusk, she was greeted by a middle-aged doctor who shared the diagnosis - two fractured ribs, a collapsed lung, a concussion and a broken femur. I asked if the police were called, and the doctor said that it wasn't policy for the hospital to report car accidents. Car accidents? How could they believe that the injuries were the result of a car accident? Then it hit me - The cowards finally succeeded in running her down.

Beth was released four days later. Her sister was unable to pick her up so she asked me and I gladly agreed. They wheeled her to my car with her crutches laying across her lap. She nervously scanned the parking lot before seeing me in front of her, forcing a smile. I helped her to stand and was able to get her into the passenger seat. We pulled out of the lot and headed toward home.

"So, what's new," I asked, trying to break the ice but not sure if it would make her laugh or cry.

"Oh, not much. Same ole same ole," she said dryly, before we both broke into laughter. I reached for her bruised left hand, and I loved the warmth of it as she accepted it.

We drove in silence, passing the turnoff for the lake's parking lot. I focused on the road and was determined not to peek over at the spot where I found her for fear of bringing a flood of memories back to her.

She finally spoke. "They told me you probly saved my life, getting' me to the hospital when you did. I mean, how did you find me anyway?"

I smiled and squeezed her hand. I felt a connection with her that I never imagined could happen. I didn't want to admit it but the 'L' word floated on my lips.

"I don't know how, Beth. I just knew."

"I don't know how to thank you, really."

"Maybe a Piggly Wiggly gift card or something?" I kidded.

"Don't make me laugh," she said. "It hurts too much when I do."

"Sorry Beth."

We finally approached her sister's run-down single-story cottage, and I felt the muscles in her hand tense up. She slunk down in the seat and peered from side to side.

She sniffled and said quietly, "It's...it's just a matter of time before they get me for good. I mean, I can't hide forever."

I felt the adrenaline building again and paused, contemplating what to say. I pulled up to the tiny house, put the car in 'park' and gazed out of the windshield.

"True," I said, "but neither could they."

Naturally there were all kinds of rumors throughout the county about the fates of Jed and Billy. Some insisted that they ran off to escape from the law while others chalked up their disappearance to a drug deal gone wrong, but there was universal relief that they were just plain "gone." Because there was no one who cared enough to report them missing, nor was there anyone who really wanted them to be found, there was never any formal investigation as to their whereabouts. The rumors died down and eventually just stopped. Just like the age-old question about the tree falling in the woods, over time the question in Appalachia became - if no one cared that you were missing, were you ever really there to begin with?

EPILOGUE - 23 YEARS LATER

When I look back at that period of my life, I wonder how the three of us were able to ever sleep at night with the drama, the fear, the pain, the sexual tension, and the underlying guilt with which we juggled on a daily basis. Beth and I remained closeted and intimate lovers after she recovered from her injuries. We never had the nerve to express our love to each other verbally, but it was always implied. We eventually were forced to reluctantly end our love affair when we found our male 'soul mates' within months of each other. We took strangely parallel paths, with both of us ultimately marrying, moving out of town hundreds of miles from each other, and eventually divorcing, only to return to the town where we grew up as if we were again magnetically pulled back to Appalachia, fighting against our will.

As for Lucy Rae, she and I became the closest of friends, and although we did have a couple more sexual 'no strings' hookups together, for very good reasons we focused more on building our relationship as friends, and we ultimately abandoned the 'benefits' portion of our arrangement. I convinced Lucy to share her collection of "hillbilly" charcoal drawings with others, beginning with the weekly craft show just down from the Piggly Wiggly, and it wasn't long before her talent was discovered by a female art professor who - coincidentally - was passing through the area on her way to interview for the newly vacated position at the Cryden Art Institute.

Within a few years, through her new mentor's encouragement and prodding, Lucy became something of a National treasure - a 'diamond in the rough' who - with the aid of social media and through the establishment of an internet art auction site, was finally able to support her family by selling her works on-line. At any given time, she had dozens of charcoals and watercolors on the site and available to the highest bidder. Every piece sold within days, and almost always at well above their minimum asking prices.

That is - every piece but one, curiously entitled 'Comes Around,' which was unlike all of her other charcoal sketches in that it was rather uninteresting and without detail. In it is a rudimentary sketch of a body of water, with only a few weeds around the edges, and without any birds flying overhead or wildlife sipping water from the edge of the shore. Due to its simplicity one would even question if it was drawn by the same artist who crafted the other amazingly intricate and interesting sketches, but - sure enough - Lucy's telltale signature was found at the bottom right of the picture - 'Lucy R - '93.' Just to the left of the signature, barely visible to the naked eye, is a very faint set of tire tracks leading to the water's edge. "Comes Around" still sits alone on the website with no bidders, nearly ten years since it was initially posted for sale on the site.

As I rolled onto my side in the comfy bed this morning, I peeled open my pasty eyes, regretting yet again that I was not awakened in the manner in which I still fantasize, and I told myself that today was the day that I was going to finally ask my lover to do it - to surprise me by sitting on my face as a wakeup call, although I knew that I would chicken out for the umpteenth time. In the sliver of light that somehow always managed to find its way past our curtains and room-darkening shades I watched Beth - my only true love - lying beside me and breathing lightly. Slowly the light sliver rose from her cheek and crept across the room, working its way up the wall until it stopped - as if it was a spotlight that finally found the star of the show - on Lucy Rae's framed companion piece, aptly entitled 'What Goes Around.'

Dated in 1993, the piece mirrored Lucy's still unsold amateurish work in every way except one. In the center of the body of water, a partially submerged "Chevrolet" tailgate could be seen. Despite its simplicity, it is by far my favorite piece, and my only guilt is that the sketch continues to excite me in ways that I will probably never understand - decades later.

THE END