Appearances can be Deceptive

Elliot Goldman arrived home an hour before his wife of six years, Hanna. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down to rest. He noticed one of his wife's women's magazines on the coffee table. The lead article on the cover was "10 Ways to Know Your Spouse is Cheating." Normally, Elliot would have ignored or even laughed at such a title. The last month or so, however, he had felt a change in 'the force,' his marriage force. He read the article then chided himself for putting any credence in such lists. Still, a seed was planted.

A few days later, one of his co-workers came to see him after lunch. "Hey El, I don't know if this is anything or not, but I saw your wife at lunch with a guy."

"She works with several men. It's not unusual for her to have a lunch with one now and then, I suppose."

"But, does she and the guy usually hold hands, stroke arms, and put their arms around each other?" He pulled out his phone and showed Elliot.

After watching the video a couple of minutes, Elliot remarked, "Shit. They do look real cozy, don't they? Did you happen to overhear what they were talking about?"

"No, I was too far away. I do know they were smiling, laughing and looking lovingly at each other."

"Did you see where they went afterwards?"

"No. By the time I paid my bill, they were gone."

"Well, it's probably nothing, but I need to talk to Hanna. Send me the video."

That evening Elliott came home shortly before Hanna. "Hey big guy, how was your day?"

"Interesting. How about your day? Anything special?"

"Pretty much same 'ol, same 'ol."

"How long do you get for your lunch break?"

"Why do you want to know? You planning on surprising me and take me to lunch one day? That would be nice."

"I just wondered, in case I did, how much time you would have. That would make a difference on which restaurant we could go to."

"Officially, we only have a half hour, but we can stay longer if we let the secretary know."

"Have you had any of those 'long' lunch breaks lately?"

"Do these questions have a point? Okay, spill it. Why are you really asking these questions?"

Elliott took out his phone and showed Hanna the video.

Hanna responded, "So?"

"You seem to be real 'chummy' with that man."

Hanna laughed. "You mean because he's 'touchy-feely?'"

"You both were 'touchy-feely.'"

"This is so sweet."

"What are you talking about?" Elliott was starting to show anger.

"It's so cute. You're jealous. You're jealous of Spencer, a gay man. We touch either other like I do all my 'girl' friends. Believe me, there is no romantic element to our touching. I guess I ought to be flattered that you're jealous. That means you value our marriage if you get upset at a possible competitor for your wife." Hanna had a large smile on her face. "El, remember appearances can be deceptive."

"Well, I couldn't tell he was gay."

"If you really want to know, talk to anyone I work with. Better yet, go to Spencer's Facebook page. He doesn't hide his gender preference."

Elliott did check and the guy's Facebook page said he was gay, and in a relationship, a homosexual relationship. Elliott was ashamed he had doubted Hanna.

A few days later, Hanna called her husband to say she had to work late and for him to go ahead and eat without her. This almost never happened. Hanna's work just didn't require extra time at night. Elliott remembered the list: 'unexpected working late' was number four on the list of signs of cheating. Elliott went by a favorite restaurant and got a carry-out. His plan was to bring his 'poor, overworked' wife some supper, if that was indeed what she was doing. If he was wrong, he would just join her for some supper with her 'thoughtful' husband.

The security guard knew Elliott and let him in. Elliott turned down the guard's offer to tell his wife he was coming. He wanted to surprise her. Boy, did he want to surprise her.

As he approached her office, he could hear two voices, one male, one female. Walking quietly, he stood outside her door listening. When he heard his wife say "Oh, that's really good," Elliot, anticipating a tryst in process, quickly opened the door. Hanna and a man he recognized she worked with, were standing over an architect's desk looking at large sketch of an organizational flow chart. They were both fully clothed and nothing seemed out of place.

"Elliott! This is a surprise. What are you doing here?"

"I . . . I uh . . . just wanted to bring my loving wife some supper."

"That's so sweet. Did you bring supper for Jimmy too?"

Trying to think fast, Elliott replied, "Well, yeah. There are two suppers here."

"So, you've already eaten?"

"Yeah, I already ate. Well, I need to be getting on home. See you at home. Sorry to barge in."

"Jimmy, I want to walk my husband out. I'll be back in a second."

They walked to the elevator. As soon as the door closed, Hanna turned angry. "Sorry, I don't believe the 'good husband' act. You've never done anything like this before. Coming into my office and entering without even knocking? If this has something to do with your foolish jealousy again, we may have a problem. We'll talk when I get home, buster."

Properly scolded, Elliott waited for his tongue lashing. It started before Hanna got her coat off and hung it up. "At first, I thought it was cute that you were jealous over my lunch with Spencer. Now, you're checking up on me because I had to work late? Jimmy asked me if you were usually this suspicious. Elliott, this is getting more than annoying. If you think I'm messing around on you, I want to hear it now." She stood there with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. "Well?"

Elliott apologized, "It's that I love you so much and I know that other men appreciate your beauty as much as I do. I've always considered myself so lucky to have married you. It's hard for me to believe other men don't hit on you. I'm afraid you like it."

"What a load of bullshit! Well, other men DO hit on me. Not that frequently, but sometimes. But that's not the problem. The problem is that you believe I might actually hit back. Are you really that insecure in our relationship? If you are, I advise you to get your head out of your ass, NOW. Comprende?"

"Yes, dear. I'm sorry. Please don't be angry at me. I love you so much."

"Well, this is one night you're not going to get to love me, in bed, that is. You need to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight although I hope you stay awake all night figuring out what you need to do." Hanna headed for the liquor cabinet and poured a drink. Elliot went and prepared the guest bedroom. The temperature was chilly that night in the Goldman house.

Elliot was pleased that Hanna did not seem nearly as upset in the morning. "Elliott, I'm sorry I went off on you last night. It's just that I'm disappointed in what you seem to be thinking about me and my possible betrayal of my love for you. Listen, I take my marriage vows very seriously. I have not messed around with any other men since we've been married and don't plan to. You can't seem to learn that APPEARANCES CAN BE DECEPTIVE. More importantly, I have NEVER doubted your loyalty to our marriage. I believe I should be able to expect you to feel the same. I just don't understand why you don't." She shed tears after making that statement.

Elliott felt miserable. "I'm sorry sweetheart. You've helped me come to my senses. Please forgive me. I won't doubt you again."

Hanna came over and gave Elliott a kiss. "Let's put all this talk about spying and adultery behind us. Our marriage is too important for you to mistakenly sabotage it. Remember, it won't be too long before we add little ones to our family. We can't raise kids in an atmosphere where one of us doesn't trust the other. That's enough for this morning. I'll see you at supper. And I won't be working late." She smiled a wicked smile.

In the next few days, Elliott went out of his way to do things he hoped Hanna would appreciate: flowers, candy (chocolate, nuts and caramel bars), and taking her out to dinner. The atmosphere at home seemed to mellow considerably.

One night, Elliott was balancing his online checking account and his online credit card account. Everything looked okay until he got to the account for the joint credit card he and Hanna shared. There was a charge for three days at a local two-star motel know for hourly rates. He recognized the three days as the days he had been gone on a business trip. "Shit! Not again." Remembering the last disaster accusing her, Elliott didn't want to even think about asking her about this until he was sure it was what he feared or not. He began to think about ways he could find out before he made a fool of himself again or worse, endangering his marriage.

Elliott went to the hotel and asked the desk clerk if he was on duty the three days in question. He was. Next, he asked if the hotel still had the surveillance tapes for that time period. It did. $250 later, he got to see the tape. Eventually, after fast forwarding the tape, the tape showed Hanna opening the door to the room. A man dressed casually was with her. They entered. It was a couple of hours before Hanna left. Although it did not appear Hanna ever spent the night, she did make several visits of various lengths of time over the three days. The guy came and left again several times on his own, usually carrying food. Elliot got a copy of the tape.

Elliot ran through every possible scenario that might suggest Hanna's motel visits were for a legitimate purpose. He could imagine none other than what he feared most. Was it time to confront Hanna again? Not if he wanted to keep his balls. Elliot needed more proof than that. He talked to his lawyer. By the time he left his office, he had a divorce petition in the works and a private investigator under contract.

The PI hid cameras and tape recorders in the house and Elliot hid one in Hanna's car. Over a couple of weeks, the daily retrieval of videos and recording yielded no out-of-the-ordinary results until . . . The digital recorder in the car recorded Hanna's part of a revealing conversation:

"Hey Craig, it's okay to talk. I'm in my car on the way to work."

"Okay, so am I. You ready to talk about our little hotel adventure?"

"Yes. That was one of the most exciting things I have ever done."

"So, you have no problems with what we did?"

"Not really, I just wish we didn't have to be so secretive. You know we can't talk about this at the office. You never know who might be listening."

"Well, you could always tell your husband about it."

"Yeah, right. Like he would understand why I needed to do it."

"Do you think we might do something like that again sometime?"

"I don't know. The timing has to be just right. I don't want to have to explain what we're doing. The possible consequences are too dire."

"Okay, I can wait. It's worth it."

"Fine, only next time you pay for the room." They both chuckled and the call ended.

Elliot fumed. Let's see what the bitch has to say about this.

Copies of the video and the recording were sent to his lawyer. The divorce petition was to be accompanied with a copy of their pre-nupt. The adultery she committed would leave her with what she brought into the marriage. Elliott would tell the lawyer when to pull the trigger.

Hanna put up her coat and threw her purse down on the couch. Elliot was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a beer. His laptop was in front of him but turned towards the living room. An envelope was next to the computer. A digital recorder was on the other side.

"Given the shit-eating grin on your face, you must have something up your sleeve. You better not be on the adultery kick again. This time it won't end so nicely."

"I admit you had me fooled, Hanna. This time I have proof."

"This ought to be good. Show me this so-called proof."

Elliott played the video of the hotel room where Hanna went in and out of, sometimes spending more than an hour.

"That's it? Before I say anything, what else have you got?"

Elliott played the recording from her call in her car. His confidence was weakening given Hanna's smug attitude.

After hearing the call, Hanna smiled. "This is going to really cost you asshole. First, the video. I agree it shows me going in and out of a hotel room with a man. His name is David. What you don't see is that his invalid wife is in the room. Don't you remember, my office helps support the Fairview Homeless Shelter? David and his wife had used up their time at the shelter just when they were beginning to get their feet on the ground. The shelter agreed to pay for one week in the motel. They needed more time. Craig and I decided to help them although we were not supposed to. I paid for three more days before they got into a supervised apartment operated by staff from the mental health center. David's wife is former military who is physically disabled and suffers from PTSD. I spent time in the room talking with them about where they were moving to and job prospects for David. I was trying to support them and cheer them up. The reason why Craig and I were secretive was that we could lose our positions as volunteers because we went against the agency's policy. If the agency made exceptions to their length of support rule, everyone would expect it. They don't have the budget to do that. If our company found out we had been kicked out as volunteers by the agency for which they are major contributors, it could have negatively affected our jobs. I don't think they would have fired us, but it could affect our future raises and promotions.

"The conversation with Craig can be easily understood now knowing what the secret was. Play the tape again. See if you hear anything in our conversation that specifically mentions sex or cheating on our spouses. What you will hear is that you took our talking about our 'secret' act of kindness and turned it into something lurid. You just had to make half-ASSumptions. Speaking of ASSES, you may want to get some lube out because I'm about to ream your ass."

"But . . . but . . . can't we talk about this without . . ."

"NO! You don't deserve any respect after what you've done. You say you love me, but you don't trust me. I'm not sure I can stay married to a man who does not trust me. Are those divorce papers in front of you?"

"Uh . . . yes but I don't have to . . . "

"Shut up! You can stuff those papers up your ass! After your last episode of lack of faith in me, I wondered what I would do if you ever mistrusted me again. I came to the conclusion that just leaving you would not be enough. It wouldn't hurt you because you obviously don't care that much about me if you can believe I want another man. I've become aware of something else: over the last few years, it's you that has a new wife. You've . . ."

"Hanna, I swear to God I've never touched another . . . "

"Oh, spare me the histrionics. Your sanctimony makes me sick. I was not talking about another 'human' woman. I was talking about your business. You have been so consumed with growing the business and preparing to take over control in a few years that SHE has become your wife. I think if you could fuck her, you would have no need for me whatsoever."

Elliot remained silent.

"This is what you're going to do if you want us to stay married. The way I feel now I don't give a damn what you decide. I will, however, agree to stay married. Part of my reasoning would be because I'm going to enjoy getting revenge on you every day until I'm satisfied. The other reason for staying married is that I would just as soon escape all the mess, hassle and waste of funds on lawyers that can come with a nasty divorce. And believe me, if I'm going to get divorced, it's going to be nasty."

"Sweetheart, I'll do anything to save our marriage. Tell me what can I do? Please give me a chance."

"Damn you, you've made me lose my train of thought. Oh yeah, divorce petition. You have your lawyer destroy that divorce petition and re-do the pre-nupt instead. The first thing you do is get rid of the part about 'if either of the parties can prove the other has committed adultery' and then add a part about me receiving 25% of your business AND 60% of your assets AND alimony of $5000 a month for five years REGARDLESS of who initiates the divorce and no matter the grounds. If that sounds harsh to you, well 'TOUGH SHIT.' I've got to do something that will scare you enough it will stop these fraudulent accusations of cheating. I want you to think long and hard about what it will cost you if you persist in not trusting me.

"And that's not all. IF I ever hear, see or even have a feeling that you are checking up on me 'cheating,' I will castrate you and stuff your balls in your mouth. This 'signs of cheating' shit stops right here, right now."

After a brief pause for her husband to absorb what she had said, Hanna continued, "Elliott, do you still have your balls?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to keep them?"

"Yes."

"Good answer. What I have told you are the conditions for us to stay married. Call me when you decide." Hanna stomped out of the house and drove away.

Elliott was in misery. "Why can't I learn? I am so stupid. I should have trusted her. What happen to my trust in her? Maybe she's right about my paying more attention to the business and not her. I really don't want a divorce. Maybe I don't deserve her. At least, I need to kiss ass as long as it takes. I guess I'm lucky she is giving me a second chance." He called his lawyer and told him to toss the divorce and, instead, revise the pre-nupt. His attorney protested vigorously to no avail.

At his office the next day, Elliott received a call from his private investigator. "You still want me to keep an eye on your wife?"

"No, just send me your final bill."

"I can't right now. I have to see how long it takes me to remove all the cameras and recorders. You can save yourself some money, however, if you get them and return them to me yourself. It would help me since the 'catch the adulterer' business is really booming right now. You know what they say, 'Blessed are the cheaters,' for they keep the private investigators in business." He chuckled at his new Beatitude.

"Sure, I can do that."

Elliott left work early just in case Hanna came home. He removed all the cameras which was not an easy task. Some were in tall places and he strained his back in the process of retrieval. When he went to get the recorder in back of the kitchen cabinet near the home phone, he accidently knocked it back further into the deep cabinet. In trying to stretch and reach the recorder, he further strained his back. He was barely able to drive to the chiropractor. Luckily, the chiropractor was able to provide great relief. He was given muscle relaxers and told not to do anything to strain his back for a month or so.

Elliott had the revised pre-nupt ready. He was about to call Hanna to give it to her to sign when the private investigator called. "Hey, man. I thought you would have the gear to me by now. I need it ASAP."

"Shit. I hurt my back trying to get the last recorder. With the trip to the chiropractor, I forgot all about it. I have all but one recorder in my basement. I'll go home right now and bring everything to you this afternoon."

Elliott went home after lunch. It was evident Hanna had made breakfast and not cleaned up. All the dishes were left for Elliott to wash and put away. Elliott went to retrieve the last recorder. Not wanting to hurt his back, Elliott got a 'grabber' used to get things that fall behind the washer and dryer. It took several tries, but Elliott got ahold of the recorder and brought it out. He noticed that there was a recording made since the last time it was checked.

Elliott almost erased the recording so he could complete his task and get back to work. He couldn't bring himself to do it. "What the hell." On his way back to the office, Elliott decided to listen to the recording. It was Hanna and the man he assumed was Craig. It was a person-to-person conversation, not a phone call. They were together in the living room he supposed.