All Comments on 'Appetizer'

"corn-silk blond with long hair pulled into a bun,"

A couple things here...what is a corn-silk blond? First, feminize your character, she's blonde. Second, this sounds as if you're describing her skin tone.

"His cock brittled"? Fractured? Broke?

Much too short to call a story. A prelude, perhaps.

Seems more like a 16-year olds attempt at creative writing.

Give us the main course soon!

Write the rest of the story. This wasn't an appetizer barely an amuse.

Corn-silk blonde is certainly descriptive - to anyone who has ever seen corn-silk. And it is a phrase I have heard before.

The story was short, but I felt it was well done. The characters and their dialog rang true. Not every seduction is by the male after all.

Well nice intro, waitin for more.

Here’s one definition of “bristled” from Dictionary.com:

verb (used without object), bris·tled, bris·tling.

to stand or rise stiffly, like bristles.