Are There Downsides to Cuckolding?

Just like anything else, there are going to be upsides and downsides, positives and negatives. Cuckolding is no exception. But you can't give credit or blame to cuckolding. It is those involved that are to blame or be given credit.

Cuckolding is rarely the reason that marriages end. It is often a combination of things, jealousy, not enough communication, a lack of honesty, a lack of trust, or the couple wasn't mature enough to handle all that cuckolding involves.

For a cuckold marriage to be successful, the couple has to be totally honest with themselves and each other. There has to be planning and cooperation. There must be trust. And the marriage has to be strong. Cuckolding can't and will not fix a bad marriage.

The most important thing to remember about cuckolding is that it's something that a couple does together, and it's special to both of them. And each partner has to be extremely open about their wants and needs. If the couple isn't completely open with and to each other, then cuckolding will never work for them.

Cuckolding, like marriage, is not something that a couple should rush into. Cuckolding, also like marriage, is a commitment. And with cuckolding, as with marriage, the primary relationship must be the most important thing.

For a cuckold marriage to be successful, the husband and wife have to be in love with each other. They have to want the best for one another, and each partner's happiness must be a paramount concern. This is why constant communication is extremely important

Rules can be made and boundaries can be set, but these can change over time. This is why communication must be constant. You don't begin a cuckold relationship and hope it goes well. It takes a lot of work.

One of the biggest reasons that cuckold marriages fail is because the couple didn't understand what cuckolding was and what is involved. The Internet is full of advice for cuckold couples from people who have never been into cuckolding or lived it. And the worst advice often comes from those who allowed their emotions or preconceived ideas to ruin what could have been a wonderful experience for all involved.

Before I go much further, I want to talk about cuckolding itself, what it is, what it entails, why to get into it, and why not to get into it.

Cuckolding IS NOT a way to save your marriage. Cuckolding is designed to enhance a marriage, to bring a couple closer to each other, to help bond a couple to each other. Cuckolding IS a shared experience.

Cuckolding IS NOT a husband jacking off while another man or other men fuck his wife. Cuckolding IS something a couple does together, to excite one another, to please one another.

Cuckolding IS NOT a female-led relationship. Cuckolding IS a couple-centered relationship.

Cuckolding IS NOT always sunshine and rainbows. Cuckolding IS something that will bring about the best and the worst experiences, emotions, and reactions.

Cuckolding can be the best thing you ever did as a couple, but it can also be the worst thing you ever did as a couple.

Some people warn that cuckolding is too risky, that it can destroy a marriage. Some people also warn that a wife may fall in love with another man, or the wife may fall out of love with her husband, or the husband may fall out of love with his wife. These are incorrect assumptions. Successful cuckold marriages are successful because the husband and wife truly love each other.

When a couple truly loves each other, the risk of one or the other falling out of love is null. If you truly love someone, you can't just fall out of love with them. If you love someone, it is unconditional. That's what love is.

When a cuckold marriage fails, it isn't because the wife had sex with other men. It's because the couple failed to communicate to each other their thoughts and feelings consistently.

A couple that can't be totally honest with each other should never get into cuckolding.

Cuckolding requires each partner to be totally open and honest about their wants, needs, feelings, and regrets.

Cuckolding IS a lifestyle. Cuckolding IS NOT a fetish.

Couples that get involved in cuckolding become cuckold couples, and the couple part is the most important part. Cuckolding may involve another man or other men, but it's the couple that is the most important part of the cuckold relationship.

Lovers cum and go. But it's the couple that remains afterward. The excitement and the build-up beforehand culminate and the couple is left with whatever outcome there may be after the lover is gone. This is often where the trouble begins for some couples.

Sometimes one or both partners may feel guilty about what has happened or what they have done. Other times, there are feelings that one or both partners experience that has to be talked out. Failing to talk these feelings out is often the reason that many cuckold marriages fail.

If a wife enjoys a lover more than her husband expected that she would, this may cause the husband to feel resentful. And if a wife were to secretly get with a lover, the husband may feel betrayed. Cuckolding, as I have already said, is all about openness, honesty, and trust. Without these things, a cuckold marriage is destined to fail.

All things being considered, cuckolding can be a wonderful experience for all involved. Yet, it can be heart-wrenching. If the cuckolding is not done in the presence of the husband, his mind can go to places he doesn't need or want it to go. This is why cuckolding should always involve the husband, before, during, and afterward.

Let's say that a wife gets into cuckolding to please her husband. This is never a good idea. She must get into cuckolding for the both of them, for her and her husband. If the wife is into cuckolding just to please herself, the marriage won't last. If the wife gets into cuckolding only to please her husband, the marriage will more than likely end in tatters.

Where many couples run into trouble is when the wife prefers sex with others to sex with her husband. In cuckolding, the sex the wife has with other men is supposed to enhance the sex she has with her husband. When sex with her husband is entirely replaced by a lover or lovers, then it is no longer a cuckold marriage. It's a wife choosing to put her wants above the needs of both her and her husband.

Where cuckolding becomes a fetish is when the husband or wife prefers the lovers to always have a bigger cock and be better in bed than the husband is. It's not always a bad thing when a lover is bigger cocked or better in bed than the husband is, but if this becomes an issue for either the husband or wife, then you have a problem.

I will agree that many cuckold husbands do prefer that their wives get from other men what they can't give her, be it a bigger cock, lasting longer, cumming more or more often. Yet, this is something that both the husband and the wife have to agree on, and the lover should never become more important to the husband or wife than their marriage is.

As a cuckold couple, the husband and wife need to agree on how often the wife will have sex with other men, how many men will be involved, if condoms will be required, and how far a relationship with a lover can and should go.

A cuckold marriage is simply a marriage in which the wife has sex with other men with her husband's encouragement and consent and the husband remains faithful to her. If the couple decides to fetishize their cuckold marriage, they can decide to involve humiliation, a cock cage, sexual denial of the husband, but this is not cuckolding. It's adding fetish to the cuckolding.

What must be remembered, though, is that involving humiliation, a cock cage, or sexual denial of the husband isn't always a fetish. It could be considered a fetishistic attribute of the couple's cuckold lifestyle, and as long as it is a form of play, then it can work. Where it goes wrong is when humiliation is not wanted by the husband and he has to endure humiliation. This will end a marriage quickly.

Many people falsely believe that a cuckold marriage is a female-led marriage. Nothing could be further from the truth. A cuckold marriage can only be successful if both the husband and the wife share control. If complete control is given to the husband or the wife, or a lover, the marriage will not last.

In a successful cuckold marriage, the husband and the wife both have veto power. A successful cuckold marriage is one in which the couple decides who the wife will have sex with and how often she will have sex with other men together.

When the wife in a cuckold marriage is the only one that makes all the decisions, the husband is left out. When the husband makes all the decisions, the wife is left out. In a successful cuckold marriage, neither the husband nor the wife is ever left out.

Although there are couples, cuckold and non-cuckold, where the wife makes all of the decisions for the couple, this is never a good idea. Most wives like and want their husband's input. And most husbands want to have a say in what goes on in their marriage.

Cuckolding is not where the wife does what she wants, no matter what her husband thinks or feels. Cuckolding is a lifestyle in which the wife and the husband both find happiness in the wife having a lover or lovers, and by the wife having a lover or lovers, the marriage is strengthened and enhanced.

Cuckolding is supposed to make a marriage more fun, more loving, and more exciting. It's not supposed to make anyone feel lesser than or humiliate anyone.

I want to state again that cuckolding is never the reason that a marriage falls apart, but, rather, it's a husband's or wife's reaction to something that occurred within that cuckold marriage that causes a cuckold marriage to fail.

If a wife feels that her husband wants her to have sex with other men so that he doesn't have to, this can be a problem. If a husband feels that his wife is trying to replace him, this will also be a problem. And a downside of cuckolding is often that a husband or wife may fear that they have no choice in the matter.

A cuckold is not a lesser man or a submissive man. This can be how many cuckold couples play in their cuckolding with other men, but rarely is the cuckold male entirely submissive outside of the act of cuckolding.

A wife needs to be able to respect her husband. If she can't respect him, then there is an issue that must be dealt with before she can cuckold him. Cuckolding is fun. It's something a couple does to make each other happy. If there is no respect for one another, then it is not a relationship at all.

Cuckold marriages are as varied as those involved in them. Some couples may involve humiliation or bi play. Others may involve sissification or female domination, but these things are usually part of the couple's play experience. When a lover or lovers are not involved, cuckold couples live lives just like everyone else. They have bills, appointments, jobs, and children to deal with. Cuckolding is their playtime, a time when they can be adults and make each other happy, sexually.

When a husband or wife minimizes their partner's feelings, this is when the marriage begins to break down. This is in any marriage, not only cuckold marriages.

If you are a couple who can talk openly to each other about your sexual fantasies, desires, wants, and needs, a cuckold marriage may be right for you. But, if you can't openly talk about your sexual fantasies, desires, wants, and needs, your marriage may not last, no matter what you do.

I could go on for days telling you the benefits of cuckolding, but today I want to address the downside of cuckolding.

One of the biggest downsides of cuckolding is that it can be more than a cuckold can handle. Fantasy is one thing, but the reality is another. A man may fantasize about his wife having sex with other men, but when it happens, he becomes overwhelmed and finds that the reality of the situation was more than he expected. The same can also happen with the wife.

Seeing something happen on your phone, computer, or TV screen is one thing, but experiencing it yourself is another. The first time a wife cuckolds her husband is usually the toughest. The wife and the husband have talked everything out, they've set boundaries and made rules. Everything goes as planned, but the couple wasn't prepared for the emotions that would spring up when the other man entered the wife.

When emotions kick in, this is when trouble often begins. If the couple is not in-tuned and wanting the experience to happen, it's not going to be good. This is why a wife should never get into cuckolding just to please her husband, and a husband should never allow himself to be cuckolded just to please his wife.

Sex without some kind of emotion doesn't exist. There are always going to be some kind of emotions. How you handle those emotions is what matters.

For some cuckolded men and some wives, the reality of the situation can be more than they can handle.

Imagine you're the wife. You've not had sex with strangers. You love your husband. He's your superman, he's your everything. You want to make him happy. So, you decide to go ahead and allow another man to have sex with you. Then, you are naked with another man. His cock is hard and in your face, and your husband is smiling from ear to ear. You don't love this other man, and possibly don't even know his name, and you are expected to suck this other man's cock, because it will turn your husband on.

You were only doing this to make your husband happy. Now it's actually happening. Now you feel obligated to suck this other man's cock and let him fuck you. You suck this other man's cock, even though you don't want to. You don't enjoy feeling obligated to suck another man's cock, but you do it because you want to make your husband happy. The problem is that you're not happy doing it.

You prefer to be treated like a lady, but this stranger is treating you as if you were his whore. You feel cheap and used, and sadly, you're husband seems to like seeing you treated this way.

You're happy when the other man tells you to lie back because you no longer have to suck his cock. Then he enters you. You prefer a lot of foreplay, but that didn't happen.

This other man puts his cock in you and he seems to think he has to slam it as deep in you as he can. And it's not entirely pleasurable for you, but your husband seems to like seeing it happen because he's masturbating and smiling and cheering the other man on. Then, this other man cums inside of you. Yet, that wasn't bad enough. When the other man pulls his cock out of you, your husband gets between your legs and starts slurping out the other man's cum.

You and your husband hadn't talked about him licking up and eating another man's cum from your pussy. Now you're questioning your husband's sexuality and your whole marriage. You know that your husband could tell that you didn't really want to suck this other man's cock, and you weren't enjoying the sex you were having with this other man, but your husband either didn't notice or didn't care what you were feeling or experiencing. The only thing that seemed to matter was that your husband was turned on.

Now, you're questioning your husband's sexuality. Your husband has allowed another man to invade the most sacred part of your body. You felt forced to have sex with this other man, and now you resent your husband. This is not cuckolding. You may have consented, but you weren't all in.

Your husband liked what happened a lot more than you did. This was not a shared experience because your husband got a lot more out of it than you did. And the resentment you feel has a lot more to do with your husband than it does with the man who just fucked you.

The other man leaves, and you are left with your husband, the man who didn't stop what was happening when he saw that you didn't like what was happening, the man who was so excited to get between your legs and lick another man's cum out of you. You don't know if your husband has always been secretly gay, but you do know that he didn't protect you. You're not sure how you feel about your husband. He allowed another man to treat you like some kind of street slut. Now you're not sure if you can trust your husband. And without trust, what do you have?

Let's turn the tables.

Your wife agrees to have sex with another man. She's as excited as you are at the thought of having sex with another man. When the other man arrives, he's as good-looking as he was in his picture. You and your wife talked with this other man on the phone several times. You and your wife have agreed on a safe word, in case she or you want things to stop. The other man is a gentleman. He's nicely dressed and freshly showered. Your wife kisses this other man and things seem to be going well.

The other man undresses your wife and she helps him undress. They kiss some more. Things are still going well. Your wife seems happy, the other guy seems to be happy, and you're enjoying what you're seeing. You realize that the other guy's cock is a lot bigger than you thought it was, and your wife seems to be overjoyed that this other man has what he has. Your wife spends a considerable amount of time sucking this other man's cock, a lot more time than she usually does when she sucks your cock. You deal with it because he's new and she seems to like what she can do for him.

You're impressed that this other guy can stay hard for so long. And this other man and your wife get into positions that you and your wife never have. And she sucks him again and again. Things are still going well. You're a bit envious of this other guy, but you attribute everything to him being new and the experience being new for you and your wife. The kissing didn't bother you. Her sucking him didn't bother you that much, but when he pulled out, got on his knees, and came in your wife's mouth, and she swallowed his cum, that was when a line was crossed.

Your wife never let you cum in her mouth. And now she's let another man cum in her mouth, and she swallowed! What the hell? This wasn't something you and your wife talked about or predicted. And now that it's happened, you're pissed. Why would she let another man cum in her mouth, and swallow, when she would never do that for you? Now you're wondering what else she's done that you don't know about.

You feel betrayed. What happened can't be undone. And it happened so fast that you didn't have time to do anything about it. When the other man leaves, you are left with a woman that you love that has betrayed you. Now you see her as a slut. And you don't want anything more to do with her.

The above examples are not of cuckolding gone wrong. They are examples of couples who didn't fully communicate, who let their feelings get the best of them, and in each situation, some things happened that weren't discussed before the other man had sex with the wife. What happened with each of these couples was not a bad sexual experience. It was a bad marital experience.

The situations above are a perfect example of why, long before another man is invited to have sex with the wife, that the couple must think of all the variables. They must discuss the times when things might happen that they didn't predict or expect to happen.

In the first situation, the wife didn't verbally communicate her discomfort to her husband. And the husband wasn't aware of and didn't notice, that his wife wasn't having a good time. In this situation, both the husband and the wife failed each other and themselves. There was a total lack of communication which led to negative feelings and questions that should have been answered long before another man was involved.

In the second situation, the husband was okay with everything until the other man came into his wife's mouth, and she swallowed. Maybe it was the other man cumming in his wife's mouth that upset him, but, then, maybe it pissed the husband off because his wife swallowed the other man's cum, when she had never swallowed his. This was a one-time experience, one that could have been talked out, but the husband let his emotions take over and the marriage would be stressed going forward.