All Comments on 'Are There Downsides to Cuckolding?'

In principle I don't disagree with anything you've said here. I would add one very important thing, true cuckolding isn't about seeking to replace the husband for whatever reason, it's about quality sex and fulfilling desires and fantasies that already exist withing the marriage. It's about good sex, additional sex to sex within the couples marriage. It's essential that it's kept at the level of pure sex, and not 'love', the two things are very different. As soon as emotions become involved the whole thing can go down the pan. I've been active within the cuckold lifestyle for many years as a Bull, and have enjoyed lots of 'other mens wives' during that time, but have managed to resist the deisre to take it beyond anything but a purely sexual relationship. You've obviously managed to keep your extra marital fucking to that same level, love is reserved for your husband, fucking is for your studs/Bulls whatever you choose to call them. Good fucking!

More bullshit. I'll bet you wish you knew what you're talking about.

Not mature enough to handle cuckolding? You are hilarious. Any marriage with cuckolding involved is a a marriage between idiots or doomed to fail.

Many things you said were OK, truly Very Good!... but you have major flow!!!

You understand sex very well, but know ZERO about love!!!

This is going to be bad news for you: "true love is unconditional" you said? Not even by an inch.

It is possible to be unconditional if it is returned back as unconditional as given.

Chances of that happening makes LOTTO win looking like a walk in the park.

Because of that, LOVE is VERY CONDITIONAL and POSSESIVE!!!!!!

You are dreaming that this will work out. You are killing your relationship any time you go outside the marriage for sex rather than trying to work your loving and sexual needs together with both people having the same goal in focus. Cuckolding is only good for the other guy and causes a lot of screwed up marriages for the couples. The main problem is that you can't take it back. When it's done, it's done. You are left with the hurt, painful, sad wreckage of your marriage which started out being trusting, loving, sexy, and generous.

Still trying to convince yourself with your rationalizations. It's not working.

I don't claim to be an expert in cuckolding or open relationships, but I've known people who have gone down that road and not one has worked in the long run. The one thing you said that gets me is "true love is unconditional". No it is not, love may sometimes make you blind to a person's faults, but it is not unconditional.

You are in a wrong category. You should be in Humor, because this is hilarious.

You shoot your self in the foot with your 2 examples.

1. If he is in love with her, how come he can't see that she doesn't like other guy?

2. If she is in love with him, why didn't she eat his cum before?

You see... there is no argument against two above points, which means that you need to wakeup & see the Shrink.

So what’s it called when the man brings home other women and fucks them in front of his wife. Then makes her lick him clean. I might agree to this. Let my wife cuckold me, um I’m a man. No can allow.

A good discussion of what it is, isn’t, and the pitfalls. Like any marriage, a cuckolding marriage is what you make it, tailored to the needs of the individual husband and wife. But anytime you add an alternative lifestyle to a marriage, it must endure additional stresses, requiring the husband and wife to be extra open, honest, communicative, caring, and forgiving. That can be a lot to ask of couples who go into it thinking about it purely as no-strings-attached sex done just for extra excitement, passion, and orgasms. Sadly, there are plenty of cuckold porn and sites where men egg each other on to take the cuckolding further and further into extreme fetishistic behavior. But where are the sites that offer counsel for the uninitiated, the novice couple, those in trouble? It can be difficult to find counselors knowledgeable about alternative lifestyles to assist them.

CA Cuckoldress

That was the biggest bunch of bullshit that I have ever read on this site. Nearly every paragraph was a lie.

You said "A cuckold marriage is simply a marriage in which the wife has sex with other men with her husband's encouragement and consent and the husband remains faithful to her."

You need to do a little more simple research into the word "cuckhold". You are mistaken in your definition.

According to Wikipedia: "A cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife; the wife of an adulterous husband is a cuckquean. In biology, a cuckold is a male who unwittingly invests parental effort in juveniles who are not genetically his offspring."

Using that biological understanding as the basis, a cuckhold is a male who is unknowingly paying for something in the relationship (IMO it doesn't necessarily need to be kids) in a disproportional exchange with his wife. The husband is paying, while the wife and her bull are benefiting from his investment.

You and others seem to think cuckholding merely requires the husband's consent to the wifes extramarital sex relations. If the husband is getting what he wants out of the wife dating others, that is simply "swinging" or an open marriage. But, it's the unknowing or unwitting payments by the husband that makes the cuckhold relationship insulting to the husband, and he just doesn't know it.

If a "bull" takes the wife out, pays for the date and fucks her, sending her back to improved sex with her husband, who benefited from that scenario? IMO, all three! That's a good exchange, not insulting, and thus not a cuckhold situation.

There are a lot of different definitions of cuckolding out there. I don't fully agree to your definition! In my opinion your definition is more Hotwifing than cuckolding.

Hotwifing is where the husband agrees, real cuckolding is where the husband has no saying what the wife does. Yes, the hisband has to agree to be not included in the decisions. He even has to agree to be humiliated because it is his fetish. With Hotwifing there is no humiliation.

There are fine lines between Wifesharing - Hotwifing - Cuckolding.

You should stop sucking on anal beads. Get a pacifier.....save your life. Fecal brain poisoning is not a laughing matter.

Keep telling yourself that darling

Truthfully, I believe cuckolding is for a very select group of couples. Your article is interesting but there is one problem I have - it is the examples. In both scenarios, it is the man's fault. In the 2nd example, there is no good reason for her swallowing the cum except that the sex was really good. She was fantasizing about the sex and it was all she wanted, maybe better. But she broke a cardinal rule. She gave something to somebody that she didn't share with her own man. That means she got something that she never got from her man - better sex. Obviously the husband feels belittled. Here instead you should have pointing out that the wife should try her best to make amends and not just brush it over as nothing happened. If she talks how the sex was better and she liked the bigger dick, the obvious result - divorce. No it is not the husband's fault. It is the wife's fault. Calling it an emotional mistake is so a woman thing. There is no talking around such mistake. So, I always believe, real cuckolding cannot work until this is exactly what the husband wants. A man to give better sex to his wife and his wife giving him something she won't give him. Or another scenario is where husband and wife don't hold back. And such a scenario never occurs in the first place. The wife always swallows. So no problem. I am just talking about this scenario.

Also it is better to go for swinging that cuckolding, as the latter always causes a imbalance in relationships, how much you want to stop it. In cuckold relationships, it is the woman's duty to go over and beyond and make sure her husband is happy. Otherwise, find a new partner. such mistakes as emotionally swallowing another man's cum, is a relationship ender.

Think about it from the husbands perspective, if he demands his wife to swallow his cum, she may not like it and the husband will feel like a jerk. So the wife should take lead. Mention how sorry she is and do whatever she can to make it right.

What about Impregnation? If a wife develops feelings and decides to carry the 3rd’s baby instead of her husband’s that would be the death of her marriage.

of i was a cuckold which thank God i am not. But if i was i would seek out the tallest building in the city and climb to the very top and throw myself off

You are a wise woman. I am not a participant in that lifestyle, but your article dispels many misconceptions about it, and exposes the downsides and why many times it doesn't work out. My partner and I actually have an open relationship, and many of the things you mention apply to that also. We are lucky that we were both sluts going into the relationship and when I asked her to marry me, we jointly decided not to try and change who we fell in love with. These kind of relationships take love, communication, respect and trust, and a vow to never intentionally hurt the other partner..

Cuckolding brings couples closer together, deepening their love & connection.

Tired of people talking bad about Cuckolding, obviously immature, toxic relationships can’t handle it… but that’s more of them failing than the type of relationship it is.

Guess this author failed and blames Cuckolding instead of focusing on what they did wrong…

A good article but I believe the author suffers from too much bias and takes the position of defining cuckolding very narrowly. Almost by definition any sexual relationship that fails can often be attributed to a lack of communication between participants. Thus, 3 somes, 4 somes, BDSM, etc. can all be described as good and wholesome as long as all the participants discuss their feelings and expectations. However, without some real experience, I don[t believe participants can truly anticipate all the possible pitfalls. Unfortunately, the very first experience may be "fatal" to a relationship. While a lack of communication may be used as the reason for a marriage to fail, I'll bet cuckolding in the relationship may be the root of the miscommunication. Thus, seems like a chicken and the egg type problem.

With the exception of the author's bias that cuckolding can be the greatest thing since sliced bread and will never cause problems in a marriage with great communication, I think this article presents good discussion points for any couple investigating this type of sexual pursuit.

Don't believe many of the authors on this site would agree with the authors definition of cuckolding. While the author defines cuckolding very narrowly, the bulk of the authors on this site include a lot of fetishes, humiliation, poor communicating couples, cock cages, etc. which seem to fall outside this authors definition of "normal" cuckolding.

I share my wife with a married man that is 25 years older than us. We were 28 when we first got together with him. His wife had let herself go and didn't want sex anymore while he had a high sex drive. With us, after our 2nd child, I could not get my wife off with intercourse anymore. I did succeed once in a while orally. But still, my wife became sexually frustrated, and it really bothered me. I love her so very much and knew we had to do something. I brought it up to her about another man. At first, she said no, but just the way she answered me I knew she might want to give it a try. We actually found the gentleman at an airport bar when we were flying south for a 5-year honeymoon. He was going on a business trip. My wife really liked him, and so did I. I got his phone number and after getting home, we met up 3 times for drinks and discussions. After the 3rd time my wife and him went to a motel. I stayed in the motel bar listening to them on the phone making sure she was safe. This happened 4 years ago. They get together a couple times a week now and believe me he really pleases her. He is well endowed and much bigger than me, but that is what she craves. He opened my wife up to things she wouldn't do with me but now does most every day. Her oral skills are much better, and she even swallows. I know what we do isn't for everyone, but for the 3 of us, things couldn't be better. My wife is so happy now. She hugs and thanks me all the time for understanding. Actually, it is a big turn on for me listening to her getting pleased and then getting sloppy seconds afterwards, We agree with most of the authors thoughts, except we want to keep it with only 1 older married man that only wants sex, and we trust will stay disease free.

I agree with those who think her definition of cuckolding is narrow. It's good advice and observations anyway for all those involved in open relationships.

The author should google "No true Scotsman" logical fallacy. Just because this author willy-nilly says "Anything other than one, very specific, less-problematic, and idealized dynamics, is NOT 'cuckolding' ", does not by any stretch of imagination make those other, problematic and failing things "cuckolding". You don't get to set the terminology in a way to personally benefit your ideology. Most common and most understood use of the term, includes all of those (and let's be honest, far far more numerous) BAD examples that the author claims aren't "real" cuckolding - usually, the case where it's done for the wife's selfish benefit, usually at her insistence (not even urging), and likely as a result of at best, emotional blackmail; or less morally problematic, subterfuge, Ironically, if the author wasn't so wrapped up in their ideology to defend cuckolding, this COULD have been an absolutely amazing, perfect guide on how to do "less problematic" cuckolding, or how to avoid problems. Because most of the author's tactical points are generally valid. But, they are put together to serve a bad and invalid purpose.

Well, you are full of preachy bullshit.

Nice pseudo psychological drivel. If you follow this, and I doubt you could be honest about it, then I pity you.

For preaching it, I despise you.

I’m walking away now. You should feel relieved.

Not bad, couple of points though. Wife's can and do fall in love with bulls. There is an unavoidable reaction called NRE, or new relationship energy. I would say it accounts for many, maybe even most of the breakups in cuckolding.

Second you say the act of cuckolding is not the problem communication is. That's only partially true. If it weren't for the act, communication wouldn't be necessary. So while communication is very important it's only a symptom of the problem.

Third, at some point the wife will lose respect for her husband. It's unavoidable. It is entirely possible the husband could end up being nothing but his wife's roommate. This is a dangerous game and you will probably get burned.