Are You Kidding Me?

My attorney responded with a question.

"Are you still involved with Mr. Samuels?"

Her lawyer piped up with that is not germane to the discussion. "They are just friends."

With that, my attorney pulled the 'contract' out of his sheaf of documents and laid it on the guy.

"Let's try this again." He faced Janie while her lawyer read the document.

"Are you still involved with MR. Samuels??"

She lost all color in her face and almost passed out.

"I don't think I want to answer that. It's too personal."

"That's quite alright, Ms. Feral. You can answer it under oath at trial."

I kept getting more and more smug as I watched their lives disintegrate.

Her lawyer had finished reading the 'contract,' and he looked like he was going to be ill.

"YOU NEVER MENTIONED THIS BEFORE!!!", he said.

He turned to my attorney.

"This is all hearsay. You have no proof this real."

That's when my attorney puled out the sworn and notarized statement from Ms. Geraldine Schultz, their notary public. He passed it to the lawyer and then the signed and notarized statement from me as to what was said and demanded. Then he brought out the tape recording.

"This is admissiable in court as your clients knew it was happening and eagerly agreed to it." My guy pushed play, and their whole world came crashing down.

Their lawyer looked panic-stricken. That's when her father, the judge, spoke and fixed everything. He slapped the table with an open hand and glared at her lawyer.

"That's enough, Janie. Mr. Huty, you're fired. Janie, sign the form and get your head out of your ass. Samuels, I want you gone by tomorrow night. Notice you are named as co-respondent in the divorce action. You had better find legal representation before Richard gets a judgment against you. And Janie, I realize you are getting nothing out of this. I think if you go to trial, you'll get even less.

"Your mother and I are disgusted with you, and your behavior.

"Your brother refuses to bring his wife and children to our home as long as you're staying there. So you had better start looking for someplace else to stay. Samuels is your 'soul mate', and you chose him over your husband, so maybe the two of you can make a go of it."

Under his breath, I heard, 'I sincerely hope not.'

It turns out that Janie's parents were footing the bill for her legal representation.

So she signed everything while Samuels jumped up and ran from the room. He disappeared from the face of the earth.

I had nothing to do with it. (AHEM).

Three months later, I was the only one sleeping in my bed. And I was a single man.

Well, that was last night. The Jones sisters promised me that they would cheer me up tonight and all day tomorrow.

Life is good.

The End