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The next thing she remembered was opening one eye and seeing Sam slide out of bed and search the nearly dark room for his clothes. The fire had burnt down to embers, and Lacey realized she was fully undressed and under the covers. The bed was still warm where Sam had just been lying, but she couldn't see a clock, and it was still pitch dark outside as Sam silently opened the door and slipped into the darkness, still naked but with clothes in hand.
- COMMENTS
SouthernCrossfireover 1 year agoI was able to fit in another chapter over lunch and was disappointed to see that this one had no comments to date. Readers, please take a brief moment to let writers know your thoughts. Feedback helps them improve.
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The chapter title was imaginative and very appropriate. Unfortunately, Lit’s title length restriction hurt that in that one could only see the full title within the story.
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In this chapter, we’re into the course and it’s a nice presentation. The intro notes are too long at this point and may turn off some readers. The focus on the schedule felt too long to me, too, since part of this was covered in the previous chapter; show, don’t tell is the watchword here. Since it was shown for the day, note that Nina went over the schedule, asked for any questions, and then show what happens as each session begins and continues. That includes the Dr. Bob comment.
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The sessions themselves were well written and nicely presented, giving the reader a great understanding of what was expected and what happened throughout each. The Lacey-Angie confrontation was a bit tense as it should have been—well done with that. The evening date was also fun, had a very good scene, and it and the chapter ended at just the right point.
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I didn’t rate the previous chapters since they seemed about right and since they were generally setup. This one is well into the story and it gets a 4.75 (rounded up to 5*). Great job.
