All Comments on 'Art Appreciation'

So perfect, really good job!

Beautifully written as always and very hot as always. I had one thought: - while all of this was happening to Michelle, what was happening to Penny? We know she ended up on her knees in the other room. I would have liked for there to have been more of a back and forth between Michelle's experience and Penny's - so we could see Penny being drawn in hypnotically and her experience of orgasm (in addition to Michelle's) -- given that her personality is different from Michelle's, I'm sure the entire experience would be quite different.

You craft these stories, all of them so unique, and all of them done so well. You’re a very good writer.

To the point made of “What about Penny,” I totally disagree—this story is told from Michelle’s point of view. Switching back and forth would change the entire POV, which would just make it a new story at that point. We know all we need to know about Penny, despite the temptation to tell us more about her.

However, because of the POV, I would say we don’t need the parenthetical about him locking the door. It ultimately isn’t important that the door is locked, and since we are from Michelle’s point of view, if she doesn’t know it, we don’t need to know it. I’d cut that.

I wouldn’t normally give like... writerly notes on this site, but you’re such a good writer, I felt like you deserved some constructive critique. Seriously, if your job isn’t in the lines of writing, it should be.

Chapeau. I love the way that you lead the reader along with your subject into the joy of submission, and appreciate the restraint in stopping the story when you do, just on the edge of revelation.

That said... Maybe a part two would be justifiable? I want to read so much more of the possible world of this story!