As I Lay - Dying?

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Bad News

Which brings us back to just before the day this tale started. Wendy and I had recently finished a bucket-list trip to Italy. We rented a Ducati in Florence and did fourteen days touring Tuscany and the Adriatic Coast. We watched Valentino Rossi out-duel Jorge Lorenzo at the Moto GP race in San Marino. Wendy had only seen my races and was awe-truck watching these professionals reach speeds in excess of 170 miles per hour. It was a great trip; great food and wine, wonderful people and a beautiful traveling companion.

Soon after returning from that awesome trip, I started having headaches and brushed them off as sinus trouble. Wendy finally convinced me to see an ear, nose and throat specialist who told me it wasn't my sinuses. More tests, more doctors, until a CT scan found the tumor in my brain. Unfortunately, because I had a high tolerance for pain, the tumor had been growing for quite a time. Surgery would be iffy, full recovery even more so.

You already know I woke up after the surgery. Now it's time for therapy and keeping our fingers crossed. With luck, I get to spend five more years with Wendy and my family.

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Epilogue - Ten Years Later

Ten years; yes, you read that right. I'm sitting in the stands watching Matthew graduate from Gonzaga Prep High School. Never thought I'd make it this far. I turned seventy last week and we decided to celebrate both events by combining it with a family reunion.

Kristy came in from Colorado Springs, where she works for USA Volleyball. Kristy brought Casey, her 'friend'. We're all hoping our oldest has found 'the one'; but keep our mouths shut. It's our own outlook on life that wants that for her; she's been happy living the single, carefree life. She claims the athletes she coaches are her kids (and no diapers).

Bill and his wife still live in the Spokane area; Emma, her husband and their two sons are close by in Sandpoint. Thank goodness, because Leslie, Marcus, their two girls and five-year-old son moved to Miami when Marcus received an offer to become an assistant coach for the Heat. At least it gives Wendy and I an excuse to spend a few weeks in the warm Florida sunshine every winter.

So, the entire family was together for the first time since Christmas, eighteen months ago. We had to rent a large house on Airbnb for the week because Wendy and I downsized after the last child left the nest; we have a small two-bedroom cabin north of town in the mountains.

Four children, three children-in-laws, six grandchildren, and one 'friend'. What a treat to have my entire family around me; but what a treat when they left after a week. I was exhausted.

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Afterward - by Wendy Douglas

I found J.R.'s journal in an old Moleskin notebook he had in his nightstand. I don't know if he wanted his memoir published; but I decided he would. Less than two months after Matthew's high school graduation the tumor came back with a vengeance. His doctor told him surgery was out of the question and the therapy wouldn't do much good; it was a matter of managing the pain. J.R. spent a month visiting the kids and grandkids; then came home for the end.

That last night J.R. woke up, I was sitting in a chair reading a book and I heard him stir. He opened his eyes and smiled at me. "My God, Wendy - what a beautiful ride it's been."

He closed his eyes and fell back asleep. I kissed his forehead. That was the last hour of J.R.'s life.

J.R. never got over the tragic death of that man, the CEO, in Chicago who died so suddenly walking down the street. J.R. said he felt lucky - he was given the chance to put his house in order and say good-bye to his loved ones.

The son-of-a-bitch (and I say that in a good, loving way) had the nerve to tell me to find another man after he was gone. He said I was too young to spend my life alone; I was too beautiful, sexy, generous and gracious (his words) - and it was my duty to make another man as happy as I made him. Can you believe that? He got angry when I told him to forget it.

Well, J.R. is physically gone; but all I need to do is look at our children and grandchildren to understand he's still with all of us and how lucky I was to stop at that swing-set thirty-eight years ago.