As It Seems Ch. 07

Jerome turned his chair facing the window to see into the garage, "How long you staying today?" his voice was rough and shaky as he caught hold of himself.

"I was gonna finish Alexa's car then jet, I have to meet with Mackey."

"Cool man; just be careful, you're a good man…just remember that." He added before taking out a ledger and going through writing notes and figures. Connor left the office confused and angry. All the evidence he's gathered so far about Alexa points to Jenny being a liar, but what he still couldn't figure out was why.

Sure Jenny made up stories when she was a little girl, but didn't all kids? He caught her in few lies when she was older…Fuck! He was going to ring her fucking neck! It was his own fault. He didn't pay attention to his training…think then act and never assume anyone is telling the truth. If they are it's only the half that absolves them of wrong doing. He didn't think it would apply to his sister, but he didn't think a lot about would apply to his family…

"Que paso cavronne?" The weekend mechanic Roberto shouted over the music playing on the dilapidated garage boom box.

"Not much man What about you?"

"Same-"Roberto was usually talkative and probably would have started a conversation if a car hadn't pulled up. Connor couldn't concentrate; he almost tore the new intake valve. Fuck! He couldn't do this! How was he going to handle the meeting with Mackey about his next assignment if he couldn't tighten a few bolts on a car!

One thought was able to form through all the curses…I should have kept my distance.

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Jana lowered her head shame making it too heavy to hold up. She turned to Gauge burying her head in his chest wrapping her arms around his waist. "I didn't mean it," he could hear the strain in her voice.

He couldn't stay mad at her and he was sure Alexa wouldn't either. He cuddled her close rubbing her back kissing her forehead. It was his fault; he let her run away from her feelings, he let her hide and he let her down. Not anymore. He was going to start making her face the truth even if it was ugly, starting with why she left last night.

He kissed her forehead and her nose she clung close as he moved to her ear whispering, "Where'd you go Bella." She shivered at the low timbre of his voice so close to her melting the resolve she had to stay distant.

The caress of his voice pulling the truth from her, "Home." Gauge clutched her face pulling it back so he could search her eyes. She saw the question in them and tried to look away. Thinking about this morning…

She woke up early huddled deep in his embrace, felt his warmth whirling around her pulling her deeper into him. His strong steady heartbeat a soothing and exciting rhythm making her breath catch. Gauge cleared his throat in his sleep and mumbled something about cinnamon and paprika.

Janabelle smiled timidly reaching out to touch the strong angles of his jaw; he groaned again pulling her closer brushing his lips across her eyebrow. She let herself fall in to it taking comfort, she was going to give in, she wanted to try with him but she couldn't get passed that one night, she couldn't get passed her dad needing her; she couldn't get passed the many reasons they shouldn't be together. No one understood that, it wasn't easy to just walk away from the only family you have or that would have you. So she got up as quietly as she could and left to the only place there was left to go.

When she got home her dad was up sucking on that familiar glass pipe. He couldn't remember the day or year but he could always find that fucking pipe. She was cautious as she eased in measuring his mood. Was he going to be angry? What was her plan if he was? Was he going to be happy and silly dragging her in the living room with him so he could tell her about the good old days a figment of a drug induced imagination? Or was he going to be remorseful? Apologizing promising to be better. That was the worst, mostly because she believed him…every time. Even when she didn't. There was always that little piece of her that thought maybe, just maybe this time.

She let out a long breath when she got to her room, he was oblivious to her. He was staring out into space mumbling. She lay on her bed wondering what it would have been like if her mom had stayed. She tried to convince herself things would have been better, but she knew the truth she'd have two drugged out parents to support instead of one.

"Bella…" Gauge repeated her name over and over pulling her out of her thoughts and memories. She hugged him tighter letting his embrace crush the sadness out of her.

"Ewww! That's gross!" Janabelle jumped and Gauge laughed holding her tighter as Daniel came in holding Clara's hand with Alexa not far behind.

"You don't like hugs?" Alexa asked swooping down giving him a big bear hug.

"That's different you're my Zia. But Bella's a girl." Daniel scrounged his face sticking out his tongue. Clara ran up to Gauge wrapping her arms around his leg.

"Up!" she demanded.

"You better do what she says," Alexa winked rocking Daniel in her arms and kissing him all over his face. Daniel giggled trying to fight her off. "So I'm not a girl?"

"No! You're my Zia!"

Gauged lifted Clara and she kissed his cheek before hiding in his shoulder. "So you gonna be shy today?" he asked tickling her belly. He glanced at Bella, she smiled and nodded that she was okay, before going to tag team Daniel.

"You don't like girl kisses?" she asked joining Alexa's parade of affection.

"No!" the little boy howled in laughter. Bella picked him twirling him as Alexa reached for her phone.

"Hello?" She said between fits of laughing.

"Hey princess what's up?"

"Hey!" Alexa huffed out a greeting, "nothing what about you?"

"Same old, hey I hate to ask but I was wondering if you'd do me a favor?"

"Sure ass face what can I do?" she went into the living room to hear him better.

"Bitch!" David laughed, "Anyway, I was wondering if you can check in on Jenny and the kids for me. We had a fight before I left and she's not picking up."

"What?"

"I said-"

"I know what you said, but she's supposed to be with you!"

"Why would she be with me? I'm working on something for Dad."

"Because that's what Jen told me when she asked me to baby sit this weekend! Because she said you two were going on that couples retreat to work things out!"

"Son of a bitch! I'll be home in a few hours."

"No, don't I'm here, it's not- I know if you're helping papa…" her voice trailed off. She closed her eyes trying to tell herself it didn't matter why she was there. It didn't matter that Jenny lied yet again the only thing that mattered was that she was here.

"Fuck! I'm sorry princess; I didn't want to put you in the middle again. Thanks for being there."

"Me and Connor took shifts." She said her voice small and unsure as she tried to figure out what to do or say.

"Connor? She brought her brother into this?! He's the last person-"David cut himself off, before he could say anything damaging.

Alexa was quiet on the phone wondering what to do. She didn't have Mommy H's calming effect on her dad or her brother if anything it she had the opposite affect. She heard his heavy breathing and him counting back from ten to one. "Sorry look are you sure you're okay with the kids, what about your-"

"I'm fine, my arm is fine and Bella and Gauge are here."

"I'm going to finish a few things here then I'll be in tonight."

"You don't-"

"Gotta go princess. Luv ya." He said just before hanging up.

"Hey Alley I'm going shopping for dinner need anything?"

"No," she smiled weakly laying on the couch with her eyes closed pushing back the headache that had Jenny's face attached to it.

"You feeling okay?" he pressed a warm hand to her forehead.

"Still a little tired."

"You want me to take the kids with me?"

"Please."

"C'mon kiddos y'all are going to help me pick up chow supplies." Alexa laughed and winced when the kids scream with excitement.

Janabelle sat on the couch next to Alexa after they left. "I'm sorry-"

"I know; I'm not mad." She cut Janabelle off with the wave of her hand. "If we meant half the things we said to each other we wouldn't be friends."

"I know…Alexa?" Bella's voice was a tender sigh.

"Hmmm?" Alexa's eyes were getting heavy, she didn't realize how trying the day had been and it wasn't half over. The argument with Connor seemed like forever ago. She wondered what he was doing now, if he was okay…

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if your mom wasn't killed by her Jon?" Bella didn't want to ask but she had to know. She had to know that she wasn't the only one wondering about what if. She knew Alexa never talked about her mother. She told her she kept her mom locked in the secret of her soul and almost never let her out for breath.

Alexa's smile was wistful as she shrugged, "Sometimes, I wonder. But then I realize she wouldn't have been as happy as she is now…she's in a much better place. She would have died one way or another; she was in too deep and probably would have taken me with her. The Hadrians wouldn't have adopted me. And I wouldn't be here with you now waiting for Gauge to make some of the best pizza I ever had." There was a familiar tug in Alexa's heart; it was the guilt from trying to forget seeing her mother's end, guilt for surviving and the guilt of happiness. She rarely thought of how she ended up with Hadrians, they didn't think she remembered. Which was fine, they didn't come up with romantic stories about how they got her and she didn't ask. The only hint that she remembered was the difficulty she had and still has addressing Mommy H. It felt like she was betraying the one that was her mother, the one who though wasn't the same mother material as Mommy H proved to be worthy of some sort of loyalty in her last act of paternity. Janabelle was the only one she talked about her mother with and she knew Jana wouldn't bring up something like that lightly.

Janabelle laughed sadly," Are you wondering what would have happened if your mother stayed around?" Jana nodded. "It would have all been the same, the things that happen; happen and you have to figure out how to deal without destroying yourself." She waved Bella to lay with her. "C'mon we're both tired; I'm cold and too lazy to get a blanket." Jana snuggled up to Alexa feeling the warmth and protection of the big sister she always wanted.

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Connor glanced up at the sky clouds were moving fast, he wondered if he would beat the storm. A few hours ago when he was calming down from yet another argument with Alexa, the sky had been a clear bright blue. Now it was fast becoming heavy and thick with the threat of rain.

He knew the only way to focus and get his mid off Alexa was to make a call, he needed to know how J. Doe was doing and he didn't have time to check on her himself.

"No change," came the ominous reply. And he left it. The call served its purpose. He was able to focus on the task, he may even be able to ignore D.J. or maybe there would be some sort of karmic mercy and he wouldn't have to deal with him and Alexa the same day.

Nope no justice. He thought swinging his leg off the bike and shaking out his hair. But I can do this. He thought brushing passed a sulking D.J.

"S'up man?" Connor inclined a weary head in Mackey's direction. They hadn't really spoken since the incident with D.J. and Connor still found himself just short of being pissed off but he would work through it. He was here for something much bigger, was what he kept telling himself.

Mackey sighed casting an irritated glance at D.J. and shook his head, "Same old shit man, same old, what about you?"

Connor shrugged "Same here." He walked into the dilapidated building and paused. Something wasn't right, he didn't know how he knew but he knew something wasn't right. He took a step back surveying his surroundings.

"Very perceptive Mr. O'Connor." He tensed at the smooth deep voice laced thick with Latin influence. He wasn't sure he liked this. No he knew he wasn't going to like this. "If only my nephew had the same gift of awareness. Come forward."

Connor narrowed his eyes trying to adjust them to the dark dankness of the warehouse. He saw the fat red glow a cigar and his nose wrinkled at the strong pungent odor sailing towards him. He stepped forward sauntering as though nothing were wrong. He could turn this into an opportunity if he didn't end up with a bullet in his head. Jose Melendez didn't meet with the "help" unless…He wasn't going to think about that; he would measure the situation and then see how it needed handled. His senses heightened, he could here the squeak of D.J.'s sneakers as he slithered by, he felt the change of pressure in the air from everyone's breath. The room was so quiet and tense he swore he could almost hear everyone's thoughts. He kept his eyes on Melendez even though he knew there were others lurking around. Melendez wouldn't meet anyone without some sort of entourage, or protection. Connor sniffed the air he swore he smelled perfume mingled with all the testosterone and guns, but why the fuck would a chick be here now…maybe he would finally get what he needed from Melendez.

"D.J. come forward," Melendez eyed his nephew narrowly. Connor couldn't decipher the look, maybe displeasure as he took D.J. by the neck dragging him forward. "Come here boy and face O'Connor like a man." He heard Melendez hiss. "O'Connor my nephew has raised a few "complaints" that have concerned me."

Connor shrugged what could he say? What should he say? Yes sir your nephew is a pussy and should stay home sucking milk from his mama's titty. Nope it was best to stay quiet and see where this lead and hopefully create an opening or at the very least walk out alive and mostly if not completely intact.

He may have been wrong but he was starting to see how this could work out in his favor.

"Face the man." Melendez smacked D.J. upside the head but he continued to hang it low, Connor could almost make out streaks of red in his pocked cheeks, and he swore he heard him sniffle. Was D.J. crying? No but he was trying really hard not to, "My nephew seems to have issue with you, do you know why that would be?"

"No sir," Connor said evenly.

"I don't either so tell the man what your beef with him is. How do you expect to take control if you're too afraid to open your fucking mouth? Tell the man why you are wasting my time filling my head with this juvenile bullshit when I have a business to run. Tell this man why he shouldn't wipe the floor with your ass after all the trouble you've been to him. Tell me nephew how this man spent 8 months in the fucking system for this organization, and now I have to listen to you and cry like a fucking sissy!" Connor was almost embarrassed for the trembling little asshole, as he saw Melendez's grip get tighter on D.J.'s neck, somewhere in the background he heard Jerome hiss all the other shadow men were quiet as though used to this sort of scene.

D.J. tried to cover his head, his humiliation fueling his hatred. "You want to be a fucking thug? Here thug it out!" Melendez pulled out a gun forcing it in D.J.'s hand, "back in my day when we had a beef we handled it. Handle it now and I don't want to hear another fucking word about it."

Connor's mind raced with possible solutions and outcomes and he didn't like any of them. They all ended up with him with a bullet somewhere in his body. Cold prickly sweat beaded down his neck, the air was colder heavier so he could barely breathe. Don't panic was his constant mantra. Melendez and his crew had to know that Connor wouldn't just let this little piss fuck shoot him. They had to know D.J. didn't have the oeuvoes to shed blood. Connor eyed his trembling hand his gaze slowly climbing higher, meeting frightened uncertain eyes. Connor could see his reflection in D.J.'s bulging eyes, the complete opposite of him; calm and steady.

"What the fuck are waiting for? Isn't this what you've been threatening to anyone who would listen? Tell me how you were going to fuck this pinche gringo up? Here's your chance. Pull the fucking trigger," Melendez's glare burned through his nephew as Connor's stomach twisted and dropped, strange how the only thought he had was he would never get to apologize to Alexa.

His brain wouldn't work, his eyes narrowed on the gun there was something that kept grapping his attention. His heart slowed his breathing slowly returning to normal, he relaxed slightly, he had a chance. Play it right and he had a chance.

He stepped forward his best fuck you smile, he ignored the noises in the background, the shuffling feet, the sound of metal being pulled from fabric. For every man Connor could make out he knew there would be two he couldn't. The closer Connor got the more D.J. trembled, he stopped a few feet from him to get a better look. "C'mon kid, prove to Tio that you can shoot an unarmed man, that's a big fuckin' man," he narrowed his eyes and cocked his head, "what you can't fight me like a real fucking man is that it? You have to hide behind your Tio's gun? Is that thing even loaded?" D.J. licked his lips a twitchy unsure smile dribbling across his lips.

"Shut up white boy!"

Connor shivered "ohh is that all you got? Shut up white boy, here's a tip asshole take the safety off." Connor was about to reach for it as D.J.'s face became even more confused he looked at the gun and Connor pounced, holding D.J. down. Connor heard the clicks of several weapons.

"No this is between them," he heard Melendez say his voice thick with…laughter? Connor's had to have been plugged with adrenaline, Melendez couldn't be laughing? "You haven't learned anything, you didn't even check to see if it was loaded." He hissed in disgust kicking his nephew. "Maybe you can teach him what I couldn't. Come into the back when you're done with this school yard bullshit I have some business…" with that he walked away taking the shadows of back up with him. The only other person left was Mackey, who edged closer.

"Let him go man," he said softly.

Connor ignored him channeling his anger to the shaking weeping D.J. This was going to be the last time a gun was pointed at him on account of-"Connor! Enough, he was already humiliated, let him go." Mackey pulled him away and Connor let him as D.J. lay crumpled and curled on the floor.

"Here's a tip asshole revolvers don't have safeties." He growled appeasing some of the violence winding in his stomach kicking D.J. in the back as he walked away. Ignoring the sobbing shrieking yelp he gave.

Mackey helped D.J. up, "Why the fuck did you go to your uncle?" He hissed unable to hold on to his anger. How was he going to keep this kid out of trouble? "I told you not-"he couldn't lecture him, not when he seemed so lost and alone. His uncle was merciless in blowing what was left of his bad ass front apart. Mackey had known D.J.'s father and promised that he'd protect him but this kid seemed insistent on causing trouble, or just trying to prove he belonged. Mackey didn't know but he had to figure how to teach this kid quick before he got himself gone.

Connor ambled towards the back office; his heart was still trying to find its way down from his throat. He shivered, his foot steps echoing on the concrete sounding heavy and foreboding in his ears. He considered turning around and walking away, he had enough. He was drowning in himself he was becoming the beast he was warned about, mixing the line between right and wrong. Wasn't that why he was so quick to think the worst of Alexa with no real proof or evidence? Why was he thinking about her now of all the things that should be going through his mind? Why could he only focus on how her eyes flashed icy green when she was angry or how they turned into molten honey when he kissed her; when his fingers twirled-fuck me! He thought with a low sardonic laugh, I almost get my head blown off…again and I'm thinking about some fucking pussy. He stopped walking adjusting himself before he made it to the guards posted at the door. The last thing he needed now was an evident hard on while he was meeting with Melendez.