All Comments on 'Ashley's Fantasies Ch. 01'

A nice story of two females who appreciate the joys of having sex with each other. Even though Ashley didn't have any interest in touching the older women the story was very erotic. I think that it would have been better if Mrs Stephens had touched Ashley clitoris sooner than she did and maybe even put her lips around it and tasted her pussy before she let Ashley cum.

I still liked it especially when Ashley planned for her way to make Mrs Stephens touch her. Ashley is determined to get her way. I still don't know why Ashley insisted on being the only one who gets naked.

Thanks for a great little story. Betsey

Try some other kind of writing because I could not get past of the Ashley this and Ashley that. Sorry but if you cannot get past the first 3 sentences what use is there to reading your story. Get an editor please. The rewrite it using proper sentence and paragraph structure. What A Mess!!!

i tried to read through the first 2 pages and had to stop. The concept is good, The start with the description of Ashley was really good, then it became hard to follow. As I read through Ashley's dance I stopped, my mind wasn't with it!

Thank you for writing, this one wasn't for me though!

Went from was to is in the first few words. Gave up at the top of the second page - unreadable!

I can understand the comments about some structural and clarity problems. However, underneath some of the technical issues, I sensed a very intense and personal revelation of fantasy around exposure. I guess because this kind of fantasy experience resonates so deeply with me, I enjoyed and identified with Ashley's self-disclosure. Yes, it would be so much better if the writing is improved, but at the same time, thank you for the effort and vulnerable sharing of your thoughts and fantasies. I liked it, and look forward to reading the rest.

Dear Anonymous critic,

Why do you critique every lesbian story but hide like a coward?

I guess some dreams due come true, or more to the point some Fantasies come true also

...... for some reason it simply wasn't very erotic.

I can't explain it, but it just wasn't.

Somehow the anticipation of the event was better than the even itself.

But I'll persevere in the hope that chapter 2 is an improvement.

Rapier

BEST NOVEL I EVER SEEN

YOU ARE GREAT WRITER!!!!!!

GOD BLESS YOU

PLZ COMEBACK