Ask Me Why

"Have a safe trip back and thanks for speaking to me. I'm finally gaining control of my guilt and remorse. You're a good man, Jack."

Laura left for home a few minutes later. Her parents had attended the three day tournament and were riding back with her. Laura wasn't surprised when her mother began quizzing her.

"So what were you and Jack talking about?" asked Brenda.

"Family," responded Laura. "I complimented him on what an exceptional job he was doing raising Kansas. He tried to deflect the credit. He told me what great parents I have."

"Did he say that before or after he saw us shooting daggers at him?" asked Janet.

"Truthfully? It was after he saw you glaring at him," replied Laura. "He isn't stupid. He understands why you dislike him. He seems to think it's to your credit."

"I don't understand how he can be so damn reasonable about everything except honoring his marriage," groused Laura's father.

Three days later, a dejected Laura sat down to have dinner with her family. Kate noticed Laura's sour attitude immediately.

"What's wrong, Sis? You look down in the dumps."

"It's that obvious? Sarah Jefferson came to me after practice. She said her Uncle Rick has a friend who works for the county where Jack used to live. It seems when Jack adopted Kansas, he stated he was still married to me. It's difficult for single men to adopt preteen girls.

"Rick was pissed about what happened at the tournament and reported Jack! He said Jack lied on the paperwork and questioned if he was a suitable parent. There's going to be an investigation, and Jack could lose Kansas. Sarah said Kansas broke into tears when she told her.

"I know Jack. He won't give up Kansas. He'll leave the country with her before he lets anyone separate them," stated Laura.

"He does like to run when he's faced with a problem," allowed Laura's father.

"Laura, you're still married to him," announced Kate. "He told me he thought you divorced him. You think he divorced you. Neither of you idiots actually thought it through. Divorces are filed and people are notified. You're as married today as you were the day you left the church after the ceremony."

"I don't see what difference that makes," discounted Brenda. "He's still living as a single man with an adopted daughter, even if he's staying with his mother. It isn't quite what he indicated the situation would be."

"Laura, you need to call Jack. He and Kansas can move in with you and be the family he promised the courts!" exclaimed Kate.

"I won't have it!" declared Brenda. "You don't know him anymore. He could be violent or abusive. Putting Laura in harm's way is not a solution."

"Mom, Jack is not abusive! He'd never hurt me in any way," insisted Laura. "I'm going to go see him right now."

Jack was sitting at the kitchen table. A sobbing Kansas sat on his lap and cried into his shirt while his very distraught mother looked on. The doorbell rang and Janet hurried to answer it.

"Jack? Could I speak with you and Kansas?" came Laura's voice from the doorway.

"It's not really a good time, Laura. Kansas and I are taking a trip and we have to pack. I'll have Kansas call you from the road, okay?"

"You don't have to pack! Well, you will have to pack, but not for a long trip," stated Laura softly.

"Please, don't," replied Jack impatiently. "This doesn't concern you, except as it applies to your soccer team and that's pretty far down on the list of things I worry about."

"Jack, she's my daughter, too!"

Kansas stopped sobbing and turned her red eyes on Laura. Janet had gasped at Laura's declaration. She immediately dropped into a chair as she stared at Laura.

"If you're trying to get Kansas away from me, you're in for one hell of a fight," snarled Jack. "You've got no right to call her your daughter!"

"Jack, I'm still your wife. The adoption papers indicate I'm her mother. I bet my signature's on some of the paperwork. I want you and Kansas to move in with me. If you're investigated, everything will be exactly as you told them it would be."

"That would solve this problem!" cried a hopeful Janet. "You and Kansas would still live in town. Kansas would still go to the same school with her friends and you'd still be able to help Jeff with the business."

"That might work until Laura decided she was bored with us," pointed out Jack. "She could toss us out any time the whim struck her. If I leave the toilet seat up, she could throw me out. I can't risk Kansas being hurt like that."

"Jack Masterson! You know goddamn well I wouldn't do that. I screwed up once. I admit it, but it doesn't define me as the person I am now! I'll put your name on the deed. Hell, I'll let you pay the damn mortgage if it makes you feel better! I love Kansas like a daughter. It would be an honor to be her mother!"

"Dad? Can we try it?" begged Kansas. "Coach is a really good person. She wouldn't do anything to hurt me, or you."

"What are your options, Jack? Running to some country without extradition? How does that work out for most people? This isn't a movie. This is real. You have the chance to give Kansas a stable home life and to attend a good school with her friends. Do what's best for her, even if the thought of being around me makes you ill," insisted Laura.

Jack went silent as he considered the situation. Once he came to a decision, he looked around. Three women were intently staring at him. "Okay," was all he said.

Three females squealed in delight. Kansas jumped up and rushed to Laura. Jack watched as the two embraced tightly. Laura kissed the girl on her forehead. He glanced at his mother. Tears were running down her cheeks. Jack wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and stood.

"I hate to break up this love fest, but I think we need to get moving. We don't know when, or even if, we'll be getting official visitors," announced Jack. "We need to see your house and decide how this is going to work."

"Of course," agreed Laura. "Why don't you follow me to my house right now so we can determine what we need?"

"Can I ride with Coach... I mean Mom?" asked Kansas.

"Mom?" repeated Jack. "Sure. Why do I have a feeling I've lost control."

"You only have two bedrooms," observed Jack as he looked around Laura's small ranch house. "I don't see how this can work."

"It's simple math," replied Kansas with a devious grin. "Two people share one room and one person gets a room to herself."

"I'm not sharing a room with you, Kansas," stated Jack flatly.

"Of course not!" agreed Kansas. "I'm not your wife. I'm a teenage girl and need my own room. You two are married, so sharing a room shouldn't be an issue."

"We're doing this charade to prove, falsely, that we're a normal family," replied Jack. "Sleeping with Laura goes beyond a charade."

"Sleeping with her, but sleeping only, with her, would still make it a charade," teased Kansas. "Is that so difficult?"

"I'm standing right here," interrupted Laura. "Kansas has to have her own room. Jack, you and I can share my bedroom. I have a queen-sized bed, so you can keep your honor intact. I'll even let you have two drawers and some space in my closet."

Jack and Kansas were moved in before eleven that night. Laura was moved to tears when Kansas asked her a question before going to bed.

"Would it be okay if I called you Mom? If I get in the habit, it'll seem natural if someone comes here to check on us," reasoned Kansas. "If it bothers you, I won't do it."

"Sweetheart, nothing would make me happier," managed Laura as tears formed in her eyes.

"How about at school? What do I call you there?" wondered Kansas.

"I'll still be your mom, so it'll be fine," responded Laura.

"I don't think it would be a good idea," cautioned Jack. "We don't want to suddenly start acting differently. We are trying to sell that we've been a family for some time. If Kansas called you "Coach" last week, I think she should continue to do that."

"Except I'll ride home with Mom after practice and help her make dinner and clean the house," promised Kansas. "I can't wait to be part of a real family."

Jack was tempted to caution Kansas about taking the family thing too far, when Laura caught his eye. She shook her head almost imperceptibly, but Jack caught the meaning.

Laura was in bed watching Jack as he came out of the bathroom and carefully slid under the covers. "You sleep in pajamas now? You always used to sleep naked."

"I'm trying to be a gentleman. It's kind of unnatural to sleep with a beautiful woman and not try to maul her all night. I've had a pair of pajamas I can slip on when I get up ever since Kansas began living with me," explained Jack.

"I won't be calling the police or anything if you accidently wrap an arm around me or squeeze me in the middle of the night," replied Laura. "I know you find me repulsive now, but if you forget who I am in your sleep and act accordingly, I won't complain."

"Thanks, Laura. I doubt it will be a problem," assured Jack as he turned his back and fell asleep in a remarkably short time frame.

Jack was an early riser. His internal clock woke him up at five AM. He was surprised to find he was clutching Laura's left breast and her ass was pushed up against his morning hard on. He noted he was still on his side of the bed, so she must have moved during the night.

Laura stopped at her mother's place the following evening after soccer practice. Kansas walked in the door behind her and faced Brenda. "Your daughter is my mom now. Is it okay if I call you Grandma?"

Brenda had been determined to show Laura and Kansas her disapproval of the entire charade, but her resolve disintegrated when Kansas made her request.

"Of course you can," exclaimed Brenda as she hugged the girl cautiously. "Would you like some milk and cookies? I just made them?"

"So Mom's heart melted already?" joked Kate as she walked into the kitchen and hugged Kansas. "I'm your Aunt Kate and you're my favorite niece, Kansas. We're going to have so much fun!"

"I get a new Grandmother, and an Aunt?" responded Kansas with a huge smile. "I hope we spend more time with all of you. Dad knows Grandma doesn't like him very much, so we'll have to get together when he's working."

"Well, I like your dad plenty," replied Kate. "He's sure a good looking guy. How are he and Sis getting along?"

"Okay, I guess. They spent half an hour working out their bedroom rules. I don't seem to quite have a normal family; at least not yet," added Kansas meaningfully.

"Ah! You think there's a chance?" prodded Kate.

"Well, Dad is a pretty much a red-blooded male. Mom looks like a fashion model, but with more curves, so I don't think he has much of a chance," acknowledged Kansas as Laura blushed fiercely.

"You're not thinking of getting back with Jack permanently, are you?" demanded Brenda. "That's not what this is about, is it?"

"Mom, I stopped in to ask about some of your recipes, not to get a lecture on how to treat my husband and daughter," countered Laura immediately. "I don't know how this will turn out. Jack doesn't like me very much right now, so you can take solace in that."

Jack walked into Laura's house shortly after she and Kansas began dinner. He looked around and then went out the back door with a pad and measuring tape. Once dinner was over, Jack mentioned what was on his mind.

"Laura, I'd like to build an addition on this house. I was thinking we could go out another 26 feet by 14 feet. It would give you a bigger master bedroom with a large master bath and a huge walk-in closet, along with a half bath for guests. Can I show you what I'm thinking?"

"That sounds great, Jack, but I can't afford it, so there's no sense even discussing it. I've struggled with my mortgage a few times, already," replied Laura.

"I'd pay for the addition, if you'll allow it," revealed Jack. "You're making a huge sacrifice for Kansas and me. I'd feel a lot better if you'd let me do it. It would add to your equity and give us a lot more room."

"Is sleeping with me that bad?"asked Laura as she struggled to maintain her composure. "Does looking at me make you ill?"

"No! It's not that. There's no reason for us to be so crowded. We'd still be in the master bedroom, but we'd be a lot more comfortable and we'd have a lot more closet space," stated Jack.

"I'll go along with it if you promise you'll still sleep with me for as long as we live together," demanded Laura. "Take it or leave it."

Jack looked at the set of Laura's jaw and knew she was serious. He glanced at Kansas to find her making a weak attempt at hiding a smirk. Shrugging his shoulders, Jack told the two women, "We have a deal."

The soccer team remained undefeated in league play. As the season was winding down, Jack overheard Laura talking to Kansas about volleyball. By the end of the conversation, Laura had a new recruit for her team.

Jack couldn't help but notice how close Kansas and Laura had become. They joked, shopped, cooked and participated in team sports together. Kansas was as happy as he had ever seen her.

His relationship with Laura was complicated. Laura respected his boundaries and remained friendly without being romantic or pushy. She never had any negative words about the work being done on her house. Jack had moved an excavator on-site the first week he had moved in. Living in a mild climate allowed work to progress through the late fall.

The addition to the house was scheduled to be completed by Christmas. Kansas and Laura were excited about the expansion and how it would give them each a lot more closet space. Kansas was going to move into Laura's old master bedroom. That would give her a private bath and a closet big enough to contain her clothes and accessories.

Jack and Laura often discussed how they would respond to any agency which came to their door asking about Kansas and the family unit. They forged a plan which both solidly supported. As time went on, they began to wonder if anyone was ever going to interview them, or if the entire thing had been vastly overblown in their minds.

The sleeping arrangements remained the same. Neither Laura nor Jack ever came to bed without wearing pajamas. Jack had stopped worrying about waking up with one or both of Laura's breasts in his clutches, or his hard on pressing against her. She never mentioned it, so he decided it wasn't an issue.

One night he was lying in bed thinking about a bid he was going to give on a job when he felt Laura squirm. He was surprised when she reached over and took his hand and placed it on her breast. She released a satisfied sigh and fell back into a deep sleep.

Two days before Thanksgiving, Laura and Kansas returned home from school to find Jack in the driveway in a deep conversation with a blonde woman. They continued to talk as Laura pulled into the garage. Jack came into the house a few minutes later. Kansas was in her room, so Jack approached Laura.

"That was Beth Harding," remarked Jack casually as he watched Laura for her reaction.

Laura tensed up as she bent over the sink. Jack saw her tremble as she squeaked out a question.

"What did she want, Jack? Is she angry? What did she tell you?"

"Her husband, Chuck, has a brain tumor. He's dying and she asked if I'd go visit him," revealed Jack.

"Don't do it! He wants to rub your nose in it! He's trying to hurt you, Jack. Don't let him. Please don't let him," begged Laura.

"I told her I would, even if it was just to watch him die," replied Jack. "I'd love to hear what he has to say."

"He'll tell you I'm a slut. He got in my pants with very little effort. He'll probably try to tell you it was more than the one time you caught us; that I'm a lousy lay and laugh in your face.

"He's evil. It was my fault. I should have known better, but if he was a real man, he never would have pursued a married woman," reasoned Laura.

"Why did you sleep with him, then? You didn't sound like a woman suffering too badly that night," recalled Jack. "In fact, you were saying his name over and over and telling him how good he was. I was crushed. I thought about killing you both, but I decided it was better to simply step out the back door and drive away."

"I don't know why I did it!" sobbed Laura. "He was the big man on campus. He was a senior and I was a sophomore. He was the football star while I was just a wife, a married woman who was off limits to most men, but not to him. He was nice to me. I knew what he wanted and for some goddamn dumb reason thought I could take him for a spin and you'd never know. It was going to be my one fling.

"I ruined my life. I lost something I loved because I was young and stupid. I never blamed you for leaving. When I found your ring on the kitchen table, I knew it was over, that you must have come home and seen me with him. Now I'm living in a hell I created. I love Kansas, but we aren't a family, not really. I can't make it up to you. I know that. We'll never have that love binding us together like families should. It's totally my fault and I live with that knowledge every day."

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't happy, or you wanted to try other men?" asked Jack softly.

"I didn't want to try other men. I just wanted to feel like I was something special for one night. The school stud wanted me! The ironic part is how much smarter I became after you left. You were better looking, kinder, totally devoted to me; a better man in every way that mattered.

"Believe it or not, that was the last time I had sex," stated Laura. "You're still the only man who ever made love to me. I guess I can be thankful for that. I now know the difference between love and sex, and it's huge."

"I don't think I'll ever forget hurrying home from that seminar so we could spend the night making love only to find someone had taken my place," replied Jack with a scowl. "You almost killed me, Laura. I would have given my life for you, and you nearly took it! Saying you're sorry doesn't make up for the pain I've endured for six years."

"I know that, Jack. I really do. I'm not asking you to forgive me. I don't deserve it. You're not the kind of man to overlook the tremendous disrespect I showed you," reasoned Laura. "I've suffered because of my stupidity, too.

"I'm in a sham marriage with a wonderful man and a beautiful daughter. Think how it hurts to know I had it all and I pissed it away. Every time I look at you or Kansas, I'm reminded of how foolish I was. The pain hasn't lessened over time. In fact, it's increased as my love for you and Kansas grows.

"You can't ever love me again and I can't ever truly be Kansas's mother if you don't. I understand that. I just try to enjoy every day we spend together. I know it'll end, and probably soon," acknowledged Laura.

"Every night when we go to bed, I lie there hoping you'll run your hands over me, kiss me, make love to me, but it never happens. You don't have any trouble resisting me," stated Laura sadly. "You simply tolerate me. That's on me. Most men wouldn't resist me so easily, but the one guy I want has no interest. Karma's a bitch."

In early December, Jack stopped at the local hospital and asked for Chuck Harding. He wasn't prepared for what he saw when he entered the man's room. The person on the bed looked like they were lucky to tip the scales at 100 pounds. He looked like a skeleton with skin stretched tightly across it.

"Jack! Thanks for stopping in. If you want to slap me, or even suffocate me, feel free. I deserve it," said the sick man in the way of a greeting.

"I just came by to make sure you know how happy I am that you're fucking dying," revealed Jack. "If you look close, you can see the smile on my face."

"That's one of the reasons I told my wife I wanted to see you. I thought my suffering might make you feel better," admitted the sick man. "It feels good to know I'm making amends, even if I have to die to do it.