All Comments on 'Astra Pt. 01'

This is a great story stayed up all night reading it a few time can’t wait for the next chapter I hope it’s a long one to

I have one, they obviously do not catch everything. I use word and Grammarly tools (The free version). Google docs with my proofreader. If you read my bio you see I write as a form of therapy from a Traumatic Brain Injury. When you write after having been in a car accident that screws with speech and written communication...it is a daily challenge. Word confusion, tense issues, etc. It is an extreme challenging. I put the story out. I remove anonymous comments because I cannot block them. People do not wish to have a dialog on their opinion versus physical and mental disability. Covered in my bio.

I am not expecting to be a professional writer. I am also writing in the sci-fi Fantasy section. This is not real life. Some of the issues discussed, concerning how long the sex goes for, are explained in the follow on series that is coming. One of those many unasked questions in this series but they never asked him how he did it.

Someone asked that questing in the upcoming follow up to this series. I wrote the answer to that weeks ago into the follow-on's draft. The answer is, "The transformation into being a hybrid includes the DNA scanning the brain to find out fears or concerns. Most women do not want painful births or sex. The DNA modifies those things on women. They also regenerate. Name a woman who wants children for centuries with painful births? The answer is in the DNA.

Most sex in this series is not human on human. It is hybrids and they undergo a lot of changes. The question about sex with android; also covered in the follow on series. The short answer. Androids do not have pain receptors for sex. They have hundreds of pleasure receptors for different lovers approaches. They can handle slow, fast, rough, and loving. They are designed to be adaptable to the lover they are with.

Come on

As far as i can tell this story has major plot holes.

Women do not line up to get fucked in both the holes by a stranger immediately after meeting them and virgins even more less likely.

Regarding the technology expand a little as to how it work.

Read Three Square Meals series for more detail.

He gets picked up by a space ship from future gets thrown back to the past altering peoples fate as he goes. Just think as to how that will work out.

Getting his wives pregnant even if they are on birth control maybe possible with future technology like inducing the ovaries to drop the egg but getting it implanted on the uterine wall just after meeting him (and having sex) without giving time for the female body to prepare . Dude read up on female biology and how birth control works before you write this up.

And you might want to add megalomania to his diagnosis. You do not show off before you have a solid power base. And if GS products are that bad they would have already shown multiple accidents that will cast very serious doubts.

Besides all contracts with military would have been drawn up such that there is no conflict of interest.

All i can say about this story is that this has been written by a person who did not think very much into how it would pan out properly in real life. Just because it is fiction does not mean that there should not been a speck of realism in the story.

Come on

>>Alright.

As far as i can tell this story has major plot holes.

Women do not line up to get fucked in both the holes by a stranger immediately after meeting them and virgins even more less likely.

>>Will cover this comment below.

Regarding the technology expand a little as to how it work.

Read Three Square Meals series for more detail.

>>> I have read parts of that series, I follow that author when I take the time to read other's works. There are two issues you may or may not be aware of. The author of that series is working at being a professional writer. I am writing as a form of therapy for a Traumatic Brain Injury. It is in my bio and I started adding to the preamble to a lot of my submissions to address the fact I an not a professional writer.

He gets picked up by a space ship from future gets thrown back to the past altering peoples fate as he goes. Just think as to how that will work out.

>>>Exactly! Just making people think of the solutions that could happen or the crisis's that could occur from the effort. Those things are covered in future sections of the story.

Getting his wives pregnant even if they are on birth control maybe possible with future technology like inducing the ovaries to drop the egg but getting it implanted on the uterine wall just after meeting him (and having sex) without giving time for the female body to prepare . Dude read up on female biology and how birth control works before you write this up.

>>>The main character is not human. He is a hybrid. Give me the biology book to read on this. In short what has been done to him is discovered over the course of the series and the follow-on series Aurora. Yes there are plot holes and plot hooks that are capitalized in other parts of this story and the follow-on story. I realize this is not the way you would write it.

And you might want to add megalomania to his diagnosis. You do not show off before you have a solid power base. And if GS products are that bad they would have already shown multiple accidents that will cast very serious doubts.

>>> His family history, home life, and view of the world comes up in later parts of the work. I won't spoil those for other readers by answering them here.

Besides all contracts with military would have been drawn up such that there is no conflict of interest.

>>>I am prior military and worked as a defense contractor before the car accident that caused the TBI issues and put me out on disability. I have worked in those environments and I know that conflicts of interest occur all the time. Getting caught and reported are different. A contract is awarded, loosing contractors are sometimes brought in by the individuals or by sub-contracts to work pieces the government wants in the system that was not proposed by the 'winner'.

>>>It happens all the time. Look at Linkden and search for those who work as government contractors who jump from company to company for just a few examples. How many multi-millionaires are in our own governments from 'investing wisely' Aka insider trading in some cases that is not caught, reported, or the investigations get squashed.

All i can say about this story is that this has been written by a person who did not think very much into how it would pan out properly in real life. Just because it is fiction does not mean that there should not been a speck of realism in the story.

>>>In real life we do not have time travel, known aliens, plans for long range exploration to deal with the radiation in space, unless you count 'poop shields' which are not covered in Three Square meals either. No mention of them in Star Wars or Star Trek either but the science is there. Yes it is a real thing for fighting radiation in space, in theory.

>>>How that would work for crossing out of our solar system is another matter. Genesis ships, (generational ships), gravitational degeneration of muscles and bone are also often glossed over in most sci-fi.

>>>Space ships banking turns, Star Trek and and Star wars both have that. The closet SCI-fi to reality in space combat came from Babylon 5; at least early on with there fighters turning and spinning while still full speed in the previous direction. Aspects I used based upon the 'reality of motion in space'.

>>>I write for the entertainment, I am not writing NASA's playbook for here we will be at in 1,000 years. From Sci-fi comes Sci-fact. From communicators to cell-phones for example. Sensors and tracking life signs to RFID chips and GPS tracking. What some author writes about some scientist may invent. OR some alien may give us. Who is to say what the future holds.

Great story, don't let the haters get to you. its fiction for gods sake!

I love this story. Very well done.

Good story. I like the premise. The writing is challenging to follow. My brain is filling is a lot. I expect this has to do with your brain injury. That said, keep writing. Me likey!

P.S. I pray your injury heals quickly and fully.