Asymmetric Bases Ch. 01

She stood up and patted on her knees, "Enough fooling around, time to work Shawny!" with a y at the end. I was like 15 or more years older than her and she always had been keeping our conversation polite, respectful. She even had been a bit reserved previously but I sensed that this was changing quickly. She walked and I followed her to her bedroom. I stood at the door and looked inside. Since she was living with her parents before, this room still had the resemblance of a younger girl bedroom. She had lots of books on the shelves and some clothes on a chair.

The bed was not tidied, she did not care that a visitor would see it like that.

Since she always kept her distance when I did not have a mask, in this rather small room she asked me again if I had any contact with other people lately. I assured her that I was a good boy (I needed to stop charging myself with my own words) and she let me enter the room.

She told me that she wanted the bookshelves to be moved across the room and the bed moved to the wall where the bookshelves were at.

When I told her that we needed to empty the books first (which was something she could have helped me), she told me that she ran out of some stuff and she was going to go to the market while I was busy with that. I told her that I could go to buy stuff while she was emptying the bookshelves, reminding that I did not want to interfere with her personal stuff if there were any.

She smiled and said "Very cute. And thoughtful also. What do you mean by personal stuff? I don't have porn if that's what you're thinking."

I stuttered "wha? no not that, what? I meant diary or personal notes..."

"Oh, sorry then. Feel free, I'm ok with that." And left me there.

I started moving the books outside of the room, almost emptied the shelves and found some letters, notes, 'personal stuff'. I quickly scanned them, saw nothing very interesting. Then I found a letter from a guy named Mark. He was pleading her not to leave him, he was saying things like "where did I do wrong?", "I never disobeyed you", "we don't have to break up, I will accept any way you prefer" and some other similar stuff.

"Cruel girl" I thought laughing and checked if there was a sequel to this episode but I did not find anything else from that guy or any draft responses on that matter. I took that letter to where the books were and continued.

When the books were removed, I needed to remove the chair as well, then I noticed that her worn tights were on that chair with some other clothes. My perve motives acted on and I wanted to smell them. I did not want to be caught as in such erotic stories and also did not want to betray her trust in me, leaving me alone with her stuff. It was hard for me not to and I stared at them holding them in my hands, fighting my desire for a few seconds but I put them away with the rest of her clothes.

Before I moved the bed, I could not help but smelled her pillow, that was really good. I never understood how women managed to smell like that. Anyway, I moved the chair outside and waited for her to come, sitting on her bed, reading an old magazine without smelling anything.

When she arrived, she told me where to move the furniture, I moved them (this was a bit harder), she made some sounds stating that she was not sure if she liked them this way but finally, she told me that she would try this for a few days and "we" could change it again if she didn't like it.

As I was getting prepared to move to the living room, she said "The books?"

I asked her if she wanted me to put them back with a bit of surprised expression. Not as if I was objecting, more like the loser when I was around her, saying "I mean, I don't remember the correct setup of your previous bookshelves, like books and other stuff."

"What other stuff?" she said. I told her that I had noticed that letter, apologized for taking a quick look at it and joked "You must have hurt him really bad."

She did not answer but this time she had a real smirk on her face while she nodded with her head. I asked her why she was so happy about that, wondering what he did to make her feel joy of his misery. She said "Maybe I'll tell it later; now... the books" and walked out.

I nearly became sure at that time that all this was not about respect or disrespect but she was playing a game with me, maybe she was discovering her limits and her effects on an older guy; I could not figure that out. I honestly did not have the power to fight that and after all these years, any excitement felt good for me. "I can play, or be played with, it's fun" I thought.

I put the books in their places. Then I tidied her bed. I wasn't aware of doing that when I did it. I went back to the living room, to find her relaxing on her couch, without her slippers. And yes, I wasn't wrong, her legs and feet were objectively beautiful. She told me to get us beer before I sat down.

I got the bottles, gave one to her and sat on the other couch near hers. She was watching some tv series which I did not know and I sat there watching her while she kept relaxing.

We sat like that until she told me that she was going to take her dog out, so we decided to go and get mine as well. I wasn't too worried about anyone seeing us because it was a regular thing to see dog owners meeting and walking their dogs together, like play-dates with children. Most of the dogs were friends and they played with each other.

We walked together to my place and she entered the house as I opened the door. Of course, my dog was not happy about her friend inspecting her house and growled a few times but then she calmed down.

Amy went to the living room, checked the pictures on the walls, took one of my pictures with my wife, looked at it for a few seconds without any expression on her face, put it back to its place and went out.

We walked the dogs, then I could not help but asked her if she had any plans for dinner. "Ok" she said, as if I asked her out to have dinner together. I left my dog at home and she told me that she would fix something for us and we could watch a movie together.

I wasn't feeling the need to stop or slow down the course of events, I did not have the urge to, not that much. I was kind of entering her orbit in a funny way. But I was keen on not initiating anything, thinking that if I held my position to only be a victim of her actions, my conscience would be less full of guilt; I was aware of being a full stack hypocrite.

She made some sandwiches, brought beer with them and we sat on the same couch three feet apart and watched some new movie which she chose. I don't remember its name but it had some interesting erotic scenes - nothing graphic - where the girl was hot. At some point, Amy leaned back towards to her side of the couch and put her feet near my legs. She did not put them on my lap so she did not initiate anything, not formally at least.

Knowing that they were within my personal space made me erratic; not knowing what to do, not easy to sit without doing anything as well. I wanted to touch them. It wasn't possible that she wasn't aware of my situation and she definitely was a) waiting for me to respond b) having fun torturing me.

I looked at her face and she was watching the movie. She turned to me, looked me in the eye, then she looked at her feet then in my eyes again. Fuck! She was hot, all these moves made me very horny but nothing changed. She turned her head towards the TV and continued watching.

I could not help myself and put my hand on her foot. She did not react, I kept my hand there, slowly caressing the top, moving towards her instep, then her heel and fooling around there. She did not pull it back; she did not put it in my lap and I did not have the courage to do anything different.

When the movie was over, she sat up and told me that she had some work early in the morning, as a cue for me to go. I thanked her for (I noticed that she did not thank me for anything for the weekend) the sandwiches and fun time. She just smiled and walked me out of the house and that was it.

That night was hard for me. I wanted her too much; she grew on me more than I expected. I tried to have a relief but it did not help a lot, it wasn't enough.

Next day I did not see her outside, she did not call or send a message. I kept myself from calling her and concentrated on my work.

On Tuesday morning, my doorbell rang. I opened the door and she was there, with her dog. "Come on sleepy, let's go" she said and we walked the dogs. She told me that she was going to run in the afternoon and that I could visit her after she returned home, for a movie night. I said OK and waited for her message.

This feeling was like watching the sunrise after all these years of darkness. Of course, this analogy was injustice to my wife but this thrill, the energy of being in the first steps of a new mutual attraction was long forgotten for me.

When she sent me a message saying "No beer at home, get some or something else to drink", I grabbed a bottle of vodka from my cabinet and went to her place. She had her girly pajamas on, with some puffy wool socks.

She was not interested in seducing me or anything like that, I thought. We sat the way we did last time, watching another movie; she did not lean back or rest her feet near me, we just watched the movie.

Before the movie ended, she paused the movie and when I looked at her, she was staring at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She did not say anything, she moved closer, she sat on her knees on the couch. Like the first time, she put her hand on her mouth and nose, came close to my face and kept staring in my eyes. My heart jumped again, waiting for what was about to happen. I wanted to grab her, kiss her or do something but I didn't, she could have even screamed if I kissed her without a mask (probably kissing with masks on was not a thing). I didn't know what she was thinking. We stayed like that for like a minute. I smiled, she didn't.

She still had her hand over her mouth and nose. She still was looking directly into my eyes and I felt very confused at that moment.

She did not move; she did not talk. If this was a game where someone would break, I already was broken and I was trying to fix myself to act.

Finally, I said "I want to kiss you, Amy, really bad." I've been with lots of women, some being way more beautiful than Amy but this level of excitement was not something I experienced a lot.

She did not move and continued to stare.

Then she moved back, lowered her hand and said "Sorry, I too want to kiss you but I sincerely do not want to risk any contact until I am sure. If you want to kiss me, you can stay in my house for 5 days, only then I can be sure."

After waiting for her words to register and my excitement to fade, I told her that this was hardly applicable, that I had to work and told some other bs. I tried to convince her that I already was away from all people for at least 5 days but she said "I have to be sure and I have to observe that myself, sorry."

We were practically together for days in a closed place, meaning that she already took that chance but I could not convince her.

She repeated that she was sorry and started the movie again, as if none of this happened.

I left when the movie was over. At home, I browsed some porn, jerked off, slept and in the morning, she was still on my mind. I sent a message to her asking if she was home, she said yes and I went to her place to talk. She was wearing shorts, t-shirt, her sneakers.

I told her that I did not have anything on my mind when this started but I could not help getting attracted to her and if she was interested in me as well, we could find a way to work it out. What I had in my mind was; after this lousy speech, we might have gone all the way this time, why stop at a stupid kiss?

She walked and sat on the couch, looking at me and thinking; then started talking, still looking at me.

"I cannot kiss you if you do not stay here for 5 days, that's my final decision. But..."

But? So, there is an alternative?

"But, since this is about my concerns and you are willing to take that risk just to kiss me, we can..."

"Yes!" I thought, "I guess I won something, rest to come".

"...find some alternative ways until you fulfill my condition." she finished her words.

I said "I don't understand, but OK?"

She stood up and kept talking, while walking in the room.

"You can kiss my hand if you like."

"?"

"Is that it? She's offering me to kiss her hand? I would have done it without asking or feeling any doubt anytime. Is that a joke?" I could not figure out what all that was about.

She stopped and lifted her straight arm towards me, holding her hand facing down and stood still in this position, looking directly into my eyes while I was sitting on the couch in front of her.

This was another awkward moment. First day, I thought she was going to kiss me when she was in my face, then she offered me to stay at her house and while we were talking about that, she offered her hand for me to kiss as a solution.

I was in a state that I could not process what was going on but I did not mind doing the things she offered so far. These were insignificant and sometimes fun things to do, helping me to move one step further with her.

"With pleasure" I said with a sincere smile.

I held her hand and kissed it smoothly. It was nice, especially in the atmosphere she was creating, which was kind of awkward. "She wants to play, maybe it's childish but fun at the same time; if I go along, she will cave at some point" were my thoughts at that moment.

I was still kissing her hand when she pulled it away and walked, talking.

It was incredible, I was doing this without feeling anything but when she took her hand from me, it suddenly became something valuable for me. I did not understand what was going on but I was being drawn to her with her every action.

She never looked like someone who could do such plans and apply them, so I thought that she was only childish or even a bit thick in the head. But the trick she was playing was working on me, whatever it was.

"I know you think that this is stupid but it is not. I cannot kiss you on the lips, and we're not at a point to do anything more, so this just is a way that you kiss me." she stopped "if you agree, you may kiss my hand again." lifting her hand as she did before.

I stood up, approached her, she kept her hand at where it was, but took a step back. I held her hand, looking in her eyes, then I slightly tried to lift her hand but she did not let me. "What is going on?" some part of my brain was saying but rest of it was busy at that moment.

I bent forward and moved my lips to her hand. I kissed her hand softly and when I did, I wanted to kiss more. I landed many kisses on her hand. This time I was enthusiastically kissing her hand but she pulled it back again, walked away to the couch and sat down, crossing her legs.

"I have some work to do, can we continue later?" she asked playfully. I froze for a short time, nodded and left without saying anything.

That night I sat by the PC again, started to browse some porn, then I searched for kissing videos. I was not after romance; kissing became something sexy in my mind - it always was but not something to jerk off to. Hopping through those videos, I came across lots of foot kissing or sloppy kissing videos and a lot of similar stuff. I selected a lesbian kiss video as the winner. It was lovely.

Next day I tried to play my part, not calling or sending any messages. She did not call me as well. I went to the gym, worked out and rested in the sauna sometime in my work hours. Some friends called me to join them for a drink at a pub and guess what? I declined them with some garbage excuses, hoping that she would agree that I was keen on staying virus-free.

My wife called me to tell me she was at the rental and I could send the dog anytime our friend called me.

On Thursday, just as I was about to call her, she sent me a message to pick her up from her university, so we could have some coffee at an open-air place then go to her place. She didn't ask me if I wanted or if I was available. I asked for the location and drove there.

She had some overalls and a t-shirt, casual as usual. She wore ankle socks in her sneakers. She looked good or my perception was shifting towards liking her appearance more every time.

We had coffee, she sent me in to a crowded market to do some shopping for her, had some early meal that could count as dinner, bought some ice cream and talked while walking to my car. She was talking to me like I was her boyfriend without talking about our relationship.

Then we went to her place again. I was feeling like a teenager whose parents were on vacation.

I wanted to fast forward to the point where we left the day before but she wanted to watch a dance show with me. I served some vodka, hoping it would help. She was natural and casual or she was really manipulating me to feel that needy. Vodka did not help. Nothing to do, I watched the show. She removed her shoes and tucked her legs under herself. Bottoms of her feet were facing me and they were hard to avoid. They were so cute and elegant, they started to affect me more every time. I was staring at them when I noticed that she was looking at me.

We looked at each other for a few seconds, then she turned her head and resumed watching the show. What was she thinking about me? Was she happy or irritated catching me adore her feet? I could not look at that direction again, so I had to watch the show too.

When the show was over, she turned the TV off and looked at me, saying "So, what's your plan?"

My plan was obvious to me but I had to say "What do you mean?"

She did not roll her eyes or make an expression, just added "About staying here?"

I had to be clear about some unmentioned but known facts. "You know I'm married, happily married. I never wanted or planned to do anything to risk that and I wasn't planning to get this close with you too. It just happened; I can't keep myself away from you but I am not planning to do some major change in my life. As you know, everyone knows each other in the neighborhood and if I stayed here, I would have to be very careful to avoid someone getting suspicious. That's why I don't see this happening. But I can't stay away from you and I want to do whatever it takes to..."

I knew this sentence had no profitable ending as soon as I said it.

"To?"

"To... be with you somehow, kiss you or whatever we..."

She interrupted me saying "you don't have to tell this stuff, I know your situation, I know she's away for some time, I've been fancying you for a long time but was not planning to break up your marriage and end up living together. This is not so different for me; I feel some attraction and I want to live something in this period. I can't put a name to that something and can't go fast before I feel sure about it. I also believe in moving forward gradually."

I felt a bit relieved but also, I was unhappy that she had blocked my way for speeding things up.

She told me to decide before it's too late or that I was going to settle with kissing her hands, smiling. I guessed she didn't know we had two months, which was good if I needed an exit strategy. She finished her words with "we can figure out how you walk your dog and how to stay here, if you agree."

"I'll think about it, OK" I said.

"So... do you want to kiss my hand or do we call it a day?"

"I'd love to" was all I could say. It was a stupid thing to do since it was like a child's game. But I started to have a strong feeling that she was not childish or thick and all of these were part of a plan.

Still, there was no harm and it was working for me, she was making me attracted to herself. It wasn't like when you fell in love with a woman but more like my body was generating new nerves to get stimulated by simpler things. The only downside of this was the waste of precious time.