Asymmetric Bases Ch. 05

I already lost my anger or anything about this week but I didn't want to give an answer to her last sentence right then.

While I was thinking, she finalized her words saying

"Oh, by the way, I will never waste my long-awaited pleasure to resolve some issues. You always had the right to 'do nothing' and you still do. Nothing is changed, I still will do it when I want to and you will be waiting to be taken by me at that moment, of course if you stay."

"Oh, her words again." I thought.

She repeated the other alternative, saying "If you can't get over with today's argument and your own decisions, I'm not going to stop you."

I was wondering if she was waiting for an answer at that moment or not, she stood up and said "I'll be back in a sec, I have to go to the bathroom."

She made me horny but this conversation had much more than that in it.

I never suspected that she wasn't honest with me, she said what she thought. Of course, there were a few words not matching the general flow; one could suspect that some previous preparation was involved but the expressed feelings were genuine to me.

She clearly stated that she had feelings towards me more than she had expected them to be. This showed me that she had some thoughts on how our relationship would go, as well as there was a certain level. A level related to our feelings, that we were expected to prevent from going beyond.

She was considering the agreed conclusion of this thing between us and she was protecting herself from getting carried away with the events during this period.

She was feeling into me, she was too into me so she tried to step back because of our last day, the day I was going to leave. I was surprised that I never thought about that. I never thought that a silly agreement would not work on feelings. It was clear that she still was going to act cool about it and not show me any emotions when this ended.

But how couldn't I guess that it was possible that she was going to feel bad that day? Was I so occupied with my achievements or her sexual mind games over me?

She was right to the bone, I forgot that she was a person during this period. I felt ashamed and probably this was the moment when I felt pathetic the most, since I had moved there. I always thought about my state in this relationship, even when I wondered how she felt about me. Never thought about how she felt and she was going to feel when this was over.

She didn't care about my "nothing until sex" ultimatum, she would do it when she wanted. That sentence was something else, because she described it as 'long awaited'. She wanted it too.

She returned and sat down, started to watch me while I was still thinking.

She reached to my face and caressed my cheek smoothly. I liked that but I still was busy, figuring out what we talked, to be precise, what she said.

Even in the first part of her speech, she made sure to tell me I belonged to her. She also reminded me that I was hers to come and take whenever she wanted, when she wanted to. These all were referring to what I tried to keep away from thinking days ago, the possibility of her claiming me.

Those were hot sentences but considering our situation, they were troubling as well. I probably would have wanted her to take me, claim me, own me with all my mind and heart if the conditions were different. I still did but those other thoughts and reality did not let me offer myself to her that way. But I wanted to.

She still was caressing my cheek, we were both looking at each other and while I was thinking those, she moved her hand and stopped there to hold my chin and said "Yes?"

She was looking at me intimately but not vulnerably. She was ready for any type of answer. She really had a strong character.

It was time for me to talk.

"I couldn't have guessed that. What you did to me was brutal but now I am sorry that you have gone through such troubling thoughts. Now, knowing those, I feel OK. I hope you can forgive me for not considering your feelings. I still want you. You are right that you will find me waiting when you want but I also want to spend time with you without rules or games. I want to stay in bed with you all day."

She said "That's what lovers do; do you really want to go there?"

I couldn't answer. She didn't have a problem with that, I did. I had to end this; she had all the time in the world. I had to accept that this was too risky, that I was already too much into her and I couldn't get enough of her. She was right. It could have gone either way, me gaining my wit back or falling deeper into her and sliding towards the unknown future.

"So?" she asked again. Her thumb was resting on the side of my lips.

"Let's get back to where things were, I want to stay in that world."

She was still looking at me as if I said nothing.

"... if this is still possible." I finished my words.

She slowly moved her thumb over my lips, started pressing to separate them and put it in my mouth. This meant she accepted. Her thumb staying there beforehand meant she was expecting that answer or was sure about it. Her head slightly raised, her eyes slightly got colder and she was on her throne again, being the queen that she always was in this small realm.

I wanted to say something, such as thanking her or such as telling her that I missed her existence in my life but when I opened my mouth to talk, she put her index finger on my lips and shushed me silently. That talking phase was already over and we were in her universe already. Her eyes were on my lips.

I looked at her eyes while she moved the tip of her thumb in my mouth. I got hooked at her again and loved the feeling, wanted to stay like that. She was examining me while her hand was holding my chin, moving her thumb along and in between my lips while her index finger rested on them.

She slowly took her finger out of my mouth, released my chin and slowly pulled her hand away from my face. Unconsciously I leaned forward to kiss her hand but she didn't stop. When I stopped following her hand with my lips, thinking that she got what she wanted, she stopped moving her hand and waited for me to reach again.

I quickly moved towards her hand and kissed it once, then she started moving her hand towards the table, making sure I followed. She then lowered her hand down under the table. I had to buckle to reach it but she was determined to finalize tonight's conversation with a signature of her own, showing me that nothing was changed. I was going to be on the floor.

I wasn't thinking at that moment but if I could, I probably wouldn't have cared about my ultimatum after her speech. I wasn't at the same state of mind after listening to her.

I found myself on my knees and started kissing her hand gently, as if thanking her for taking me back, under the table. She let me show my gratitude and love like that for a short period.

Then she started to move her hand again, further under the table, to a point in front of her knees, making me crawl there. After I got under the table, I kept kissing this precious delicate beauty. She had delicate hands.

She kept me there for a period, in front of her knees, with that hot sight of her legs, skirt and the darkness where her legs disappeared under her skirt, in front of my eyes. Then she parted my lips with her index finger, slowly shoved it in my mouth, took it out and made me kiss that finger. She changed fingers, kept them in my mouth, made me kiss and worship each one a few times. It was like she was sucking the newly found energy I had today, making me apologize for standing up to her, even if I was right.

Then she pulled her hand away, reached to my forehead and pushed me gently to make me stop following her hand.

I was looking under her skirt and waiting for the next thing to happen, if there was one.

She moved her hand to her waist area, slowly inserted her fingers under her skirt from above until her hand was completely in her skirt. I could not see her fingers but I could see them moving under the skirt fabric. She was playing with herself. She didn't do this for long, she only made sure I saw that her fingers were on her pussy or her panties, if she was wearing them.

She removed her hand, approached it to my nose. I leaned forward but she pulled her hand back and only approached it again when I moved back to my position. She made me smell her fingers at a distance, possibly only to increase my deprivation, as if she was showing a treat to her dog before giving it.

That part wasn't clear to me because I was very horny due to the things happening at the moment. I smelled her finger but I couldn't get the smell I expected to, at least not at the amount she mostly served me. Probably she wasn't wet yet. I felt a bit upset that all these hadn't turned her on yet.

While I was waiting for her to put her fingers back in her skirt or put them in my mouth, she removed her hand out of my sight, to her side or over the table.

She started to slowly separate her knees apart, making the soft skirt stretch and move back towards her buttocks, slowly exposing her bare pussy to me. Being under that table, in front of her pussy, seeing it being offered to me made me forget all my issues that week.

While I was admiring the view, she moved her hips forward for two or three inches, as if telling me that dinner was served.

I slowly leaned forward, crawled towards her crotch and kissed her pussy lips. I kissed them and kissed them, then started to lick along the slit, around her pussy, in her pussy happily and to taste her juices but something was different. It tasted different.

I heard her say "By the way, I feel doubtful, I may have forgot to wipe. I hope you don't mind."

Forgot? Even if she really did forget to wipe, this wasn't the way a person would have acted in such a situation. My face still at her pussy, I could visualize what happened earlier. She went to the bathroom, disposed of her urine, apparently didn't wear her panties back to keep more piss on and around her pussy and came back without wiping to make me wipe it clean for her. She didn't say anything until I already licked and cleaned her pussy.

For a moment I thought of protesting. I moved my head back a few inches to observe her pussy if I did something disgusting but I didn't feel disgusted. In that short moment, I also wondered why she did that. Was she insulting me before kicking me off her house? Was that her plan? Or was it to punish me?

Possibly this moment was longer than I thought, I felt her hand at the back of my head and she pulled me towards her pussy harshly with great force, burying my face in it. She made me eat her until she came in my mouth, made me lick her clean after that and said "Kiss it." as she loosened her hands.

I kissed her pussy again to show my gratitude to her and she placed her foot on my chest to push me back, making me fall on my back under the table. She stood up and went to her room without even saying 'good night'.

I wasn't sure if that day was a win or loss for me but I was lying under the table feeling peaceful. I finally got some affection after all those days.

I went to sleep feeling worried about the next morning. What would happen if she said 'are you still here?' when she saw me? What was going to be our relationship like if she didn't? There was only one thing that I was sure about. She didn't like being talked to her like that or being pushed. Even if she acknowledged that I was right to be upset.

I remembered her saying stuff about how intimate she saw things involving her peeing. She had to be feeling a lot intimate. Of course, this wasn't something like that, it was only an unwiped pussy which I probably had tasted many times in my life without knowing. I fell asleep hoping that she was satisfied with putting me in my place by degrading me to her toilet paper.

I woke up and left the room to see her making pancakes for us. She saw me and said "Oh, I was going to wake you up, good timing."

The breakfast was ready on the kitchen table and I could see that she put an extra effort to make it look good. She even put some good-looking dishes of various things; things that looked good but you wouldn't have eaten, like girls liked to do.

I sat and waited for her, she joined me with the pancakes. Her energy was so high that I felt like we resolved the issues about that week. She sat down and we had breakfast, talking about many things, as if we were a couple on one of the best days of their life. We were like lovers.

After the breakfast, we watched a movie together, while she was in my arms. This was the first time we were like that. She fell asleep after the movie and when I noticed that I wrapped her with my arms, kissed her head and smelled her hair and then I too, slept with her like that. It was the most peaceful day since I arrived here.

When she woke me at night, she told me to dress up nice and that we were going out. I wore some beige linen pants and a navy-blue shirt. She was wearing a black dress, made her hair ballerina style, wore thin dark nylons and her black heels. I could have eaten her from top to bottom when I saw her.

We went to a nice, cozy pub, had our dinner at the bar.

When I was returning back from the restroom, I saw some guy younger than me, talking to Amy. He was a bit too close to her and I felt that little jealousy after a really long time. In her house I could be acting as or was a wimp but not outside. She didn't look bothered so I assumed that he was a friend of hers and lingered before I returned.

When I arrived, I said hi, he barely looked at me, nodded and turned to her to continue talking. I felt my teeth grinding for a second. Amy noticed that, that I left my civil stance and looking at him as if I was considering to create some trouble.

She turned to him, listened some more, put her hand over his to interrupt his story or whatever it was and said "Mike, that's Shawn", turned to me "Shawn, this is Mike, he's a friend from my tennis club." He looked a bit puzzled for a period and then turned to me and said "Hi, what's up?" uneasily, trying to look cool.

Since he didn't deserve it, I didn't answer, continued to look at him and put on a faint smirk on my face after a few seconds, without breaking eye contact. He, in the first place didn't answer my greeting. He acted as if I wasn't there and finally, he talked to me as if I was the one interrupting their night. Then, ignoring his presence, I turned to Amy and said, I'll get myself something to drink, do you want any?

"Oh yes, but we can add to our tab, we're already at the bar."

I said "They have that vodka stand over there, I want to taste that one, I'll be back in five." and walked away.

This was one of the zones where I never felt insecure. I learned to control my jealousy about my girlfriends, I almost never became too jealous after experiencing such emotions at raised levels till some age. I managed to simplify this feeling. If a girl who went out with me was responding flirtatious acts of others, she wasn't my girlfriend at all; if not, I wouldn't make a deal unless she was being bothered by those people. But I liked to escalate to physical when that happened.

The bottom line was, when it was about women, I respected everyone's freedom to act but I never shared. If the girl wanted to go, she could go as my ex, which she would get demoted to at that moment. I never chased people.

I went to that inhouse produced vodka stand and drank a couple of shots of different flavors, then got myself a double of the non-flavored one with no ice in it and returned back to Amy.

The guy was leaning on the bar talking about something serious to her ear and I didn't want to sit behind Amy. That would seem pathetic. When I stood beside Amy, she reached to my hand and held it. He saw that, stood straight with an annoyed expression. He started to talk about some work incident. Within ten seconds, Amy was leaning against me, her head on my chest and listening to work related stuff the guy was telling. I already was comfortable and we were both waiting for the guy to understand it was time for him to scoot off. He abruptly finished his story, looked at us with a troubled face and nodded his head to her, saying goodbye.

When he finally left, she turned to me and looked at me with sparkling but calm eyes. I wasn't sure what she was thinking.

She held my hand in both of her hands and said "I wasn't expecting that from you."

"?" I thought I embarrassed her.

"I mean, I imagined that you could be jealous and make a scene or pout sitting behind me but not that."

"What did I do?"

"You made me hot."

"What?"

"You showed that you are ready to stand your ground to both of us but also that you were confident that you didn't need to do anything about it. You surprised me because this is the first time I saw that in you."

"How could you have seen it?"

"You didn't try to put on an alpha show when we were together." she said smiling.

"That guy didn't scare me as you do?" I babbled impishly.

She kept smiling.

"If you're telling me that I didn't have the spine to stand up to you, I didn't feel like that. I had trouble time to time but I didn't feel like protesting, at least except a few occasions. I'm not saying that I can't be myself with you but you unlocked new levels of me. And I don't go macho on women."

"So, you turn to wolf when guys are around?" she quizzically said.

"Not always, if you needed me to."

"I don't like that prince charming type scripts." she said.

"I was thinking more like Shrek." I smiled.

She didn't let me spoil the subject.

"I'm not sure I understood correct. So, you would stay calm in any case unless I felt bothered?"

What was she asking? I didn't understand.

"Any case?"

"Let's say I went along with his flirtatious approaches?"

I laughed nervously and explained to her, trying to be clear "In that case, we'd have trouble."

"Even if I did that to make you jealous?"

"We can say that you succeeded and got what you wanted. I don't like taking part in such scenes. It would cost you afterwards."

"Oh, you're making me hot, hotter than ever." her eyes were glowing.

I was in my normal life mood so it took some time for me to understand what she said was a big deal. She wanted me but I already have changed the subject to tell her some adult joke. She still was adoring me with her eyes and I knew that look. At least I knew that look on most women.

"I will take you tonight." she interrupted my joke.

I wondered if it could be possible for the fluid mechanics to explain the speed of my boner appearing that fast. Even she noticed that, looked at my tent and then my eyes while her cheeks blushed with that sexiest and lovely shade of red.

I forgot what I was talking about, I forgot where we were. There she was, all gorgeous, all wearing the sexiest things I liked, luring me with her smell, looking in my eyes, telling me that she was going to take me tonight.

We stood like that and finally I recovered from that moronic state and raised my both hands, jumped towards the bartender to shout at him then turned around and shouted at the waiter passing by "Check please, quick!"

I was being cheesy and silly and she was laughing, this moment was the first moment I knew we were lovers. This was it, in its own way.

I noticed that her face got serious for a second, seeing something at my back but she got back to the happy state looking at me. When I turned around, I saw that Mike guy looking at her as if he wanted to be in my place. I looked at her again and she rolled her eyes. I guessed she was pitying him for his platonic feelings. He was a snob, so I wasn't going to bother to empathize him.

We sat at the bar for another hour or so, drank some more, kissed, talked various intimate things and left to go back home. It was as if I travelled back in time, when I felt that energy and excitement on my first dates.