Attack Decay Sustain Release

She slowly rotated her leg in the air until her calf muscle rested against the back of Lucia's hair. Just before there was enough pressure to stop her from doing so, Lucia slipped an arm up and over Vivian's thigh, and grabbed her breast whole again. As much as she wanted a soft caress, the fierce, possessive grip was even better. It fueled something intangible, deep in the recesses of her neglected sexuality. More than anything, she wanted to be wanted.

Vivian had not had many partners in her life. Almost everyone she'd ever been with, Lucia included, had been a hookup at best. What she'd wanted, and never had, was for someone to look at her the way Lucia was looking at her right then. With hunger and rabid desire.

For all her wants and needs, the thing that pushed her over was the same as it always was. Even when it was just masturbation; her nipple and clit, at the same time. As her body bucked wildly, thighs squeezing tightly around Lucia's head, Vivian had a moment of clarity about how distinct and separate her orgasms, wants, and needs were. They were all in the same direction, but they weren't the same. At that moment, all three of them were more or less aligned, and it felt so good. So right.

When the dopamine kicked in, flooding her brain with those lovely warm feelings, her body went limp. Everything relaxed. She didn't fight it when she felt Lucia unlacing her boots, or when the Latina lifted her suddenly-bared feet into the air to slip her skirt and panties off. She watched, through heavy-lidded eyes, as her beautiful girlfriend stripped out of her boots and black jeans.

Vivian licked her lips, nodding tightly as Lucia walked on her knees across the bed, and settled over her face. She curled her arms up, grabbing at the insides of Lucia's smooth thighs, just as Lucia again took her hair in both hands and pulled.

It hurt, magnificently, and Vivian was all in.

Her tongue was sluggish, but Lucia took the effort out of her control. She kept her grip iron-tight, and began to grind against Vivian's face. Tight swirls. She kept her tongue still, and Lucia managed her thrusts to keep the tongue focused on her own clit, and the whole time Vivian's nose was buried in a trim patch of pubic hair. She wanted to stare up at Lucia like Lucia had stared up at her, but it was hard keeping her eyes from rolling behind the lids as she inhaled deeply.

Lucia's grip never lessened, but so much of her hair was caught up in those fingers that the pressure of it was spread out over almost all of her scalp. When Vivian finally pulled herself together to look she was treated to the sight of Lucia's arms, muscles rippling underneath her tattoos. Her shoulders, pecs, and abs were all taught. She'd known Lucia's intense and constant playing had helped her maintain an impressive physique, but her unique vantage point put her in a position to admire it the way it deserved to be admired.

At first, Lucia's expression bordered on a sneer. It was indulgent and powerful, and it sent shivers down Vivian's spine. The longer she went, and the more she thrust, the more the mask slipped until her own need was as naked as they themselves were. Her eyebrows worked inward toward each other while dots of sweat popped out through the skin up and down the length of her body.

Her tongue was amazingly sore, but when she started working against the thrust the quality of Lucia's groans changed dramatically. The pitch went higher and higher, with a groan coming at every third breath. Every other breath. Every breath.

By the time it was coming out of her constantly, it more closely resembled a whine than a groan, and Lucia's eyes pinched shut completely. When she bared her teeth, jaw tightly clenched, Vivian knew her moment had arrived. She tightened her arms, still wrapped around Lucia's thighs, to prevent her from thrusting, and gave every last ounce of effort she could wring out of her tongue. One hand disappeared from her hair, and Vivian looked up to see Lucia had grabbed hold of her left nipple and was twisting it to a fearsome degree.

When Lucia came, she arrived like a screaming comet.

It didn't take much to flip Lucia over once she'd passed the point of no return, and the Latina was too far gone to fight her. She straddled one of Lucia's splayed legs, gripping it tightly between her thigh around the calf, and kept right on going with her tongue. This time, though, she slipped two fingers into Lucia's cleft and worked them in and out rapidly.

Lucia writhed, overstimulated, but Vivian was unrelenting. She crossed her feet at the ankle and bore down on Lucia's leg; grinding, dull pressure at the apex of her thighs. Lucia tried to work her way up the bed, but Vivian followed right along. She pushed through the screams and the cries, and found a delirious, compliant woman on the other side. Her tongue ached to explore, though, so while her fingers continued to rifle in and out of Lucia's slick hole, she began licking upward.

Lucia's whole body quivered and shook as she passed the navel, back arching completely up and away from the bed. The movement was almost more than she could control, and in a fit of inspiration Vivian brought those two dripping wet fingers up and sank them into Lucia's mouth. The little Latina immediately moaned, lips forming a tight seal, as she suckled, and Vivian bit down on her left nipple— the one that had been twisted— until her teeth had left deep imprints in the hardened nubs.

Lucia's leg drove up tight between her thighs and Vivian clamped on it again, but this time when she started grinding she felt the spark. It distracted her, momentarily, and that was enough. Lucia reached down between them, palm toward her, and managed to get her fingertips right up against Vivian's clit. Not to be outdone, Vivian shifted slightly to the side and did the same.

She threw herself forward, so they were nose to nose, and the world went hazy when they kissed. Both of them panting like steam engines. Their fingers raced, probing and flicking. Both of them trying to solve the puzzle first. It was Lucia's lips that pulled back first, out of the kiss and into a grimace, but their eyes locked and that was somehow even more intense. Forehead to forehead.

Vivian's body gave out, just a little, and she collapsed to her side. She held off cumming, but only by the skin of her teeth and Lucia seemed to sense the blood in the water. When push came to shove, Lucia's fingers moved faster. Vivian did everything she could to hold on, and to keep her own fingers going, but it was too much to stop.

When the waves stopped crashing over her, Vivian was on her back and panting. Lucia was laying next to her, on her front with her feet up in the air behind her and a huge grin. Vivian licked her lips, trying to work a little moisture where she could. The Latina's grin was sloppy. Lopsided. Beautiful. Vivian couldn't help but kiss it.

The kiss was a wonderful break to compose herself, and as soon as she felt like she had her legs under her, Vivian rose to her knees and grabbed Lucia's hips. The dark-haired girl gave her a questioning look, but let herself be posed without fuss, with her knees and shoulders on the bed and her ass in the air. Vivian sat down behind her, brought her finger to bear on Lucia's clit, and buried her face between Lucia's cheeks. Her tongue worked circles around Lucia's puckered asshole for minutes on end before stiffening and pushing through ever so gently.

All the while, she kept up the constant swirling around Lucia's clit. It did not take long for the Latina to reach her peak, but she didn't move away and Vivan didn't stop. The few times she'd ever seen Lucia let anyone near her ass had always ended with Lucia begging for more. Not this time, she thought to herself. She was determined to outlast her this time, and keep going for as long as Lucia would let her.

Lucia let her.

Thirty minutes later, her tongue practically numb from effort, Vivian plunged two fingers into Lucia's ass, and that triggered the biggest, most overwhelming orgasm yet. Lucia collapsed to her side, bucking and twitching, and Vivian followed her down to the mattress in an exhausted heap.

Working Lucia's clit had been a lot like strumming. Her stamina was not where it needed to be to go infinitely, like she could have once upon a time, but it was enough. Lucia's pupils did not come out from behind her lids for several minutes. Her hands roamed Vivian's body appreciatively, petting and stroking, but that seemed to be the most she was capable of.

Vivian just waited patiently, and observed every bit of it. She wanted to commit every detail to memory. Every whimper. Every moan. She wanted to map out every inch of Lucia's body.

"God," Lucia slurred, as she curled up on her side, "you're so intense sometimes."

Vivian didn't know what she meant by that, but took it as a good sign that Lucia hadn't said anything specific about being done. She started to move, but the Latina laid a hand against her chest and pushed her back against the bed.

"No, no," she said. For a moment, it seemed like she was going to say more, as she stared at Vivian's body, but the seconds passed in silence. Vivian took a deep breath, drew her knees back toward her shoulders, and hooked her hands behind her knees. Lucia seemed only too pleased to oblige.

Then she murmured, "I wish I had your legs," before diving in face first.

Vivian alternated between letting her head fall back into the bed, to catch her breath, and tucking her chin to her chest so she could watch. She really wanted to watch, and often her gaze was in the distance. Watching Lucia's ass as it rolled back and forth, or her feet as they twined around each other. Between that and the hypnotic drone of her nerves, as Lucia worked her clit with masterful precision, Vivian did not last long.

Her toes danced along Lucia's shoulders, and it was a near perfect moment. Lucia turned and kissed the arch of her foot, and then the other. And then her ankle. And then her calf. Knee. Inner thigh. The peak of her mound. Just below the belly button. Just above the belly button. Along her smallest rib. Across her breast. Along her collarbone. The nape of her neck. The tip of her ear.

Her legs curled around Lucia's waist, and the two of them tumbled to the side, lost in the embrace.

***

The next evening, Vivan stared down. The TriMet bus jostled her side to side as it went over a dip in the street. The woman beside her apologized for bumping into her, but Vivian barely heard it and didn't respond. A hundred dollars in groceries in three bags around her feet. It could last them four or five days if they were careful with their leftovers.

Lunch with her brother that day, twenty three dollars. Therapy, a hundred and forty dollars per session. Three sessions a week. She was nearing the end of her need for that, but she wasn't there yet. She didn't think she could be working any harder to get cleared, and she really didn't want to stop therapy early and cut herself short. Bus fare around the city wasn't much, but it also wasn't free.

Her funds were still holding out, but they would need to make some changes. Small things. Maybe change where they shopped. Maybe they could start doing more with recipes and less with frozen pre-made foods. Maybe she had time to start looking for coupons. No, she definitely had time to look for coupons. Then, once they got back on their feet and started working again, whatever that looked like, things would be better. They just had to survive to that point.

Things were still tentative. Lucia had made it through the detoxing, but that was just the start of breaking an addiction. Vivian had been up until nearly four in the morning reading about addiction, and patterns of behavior, while Lucia slept adorably beside her. She desperately needed rest. Her eyes kept closing as she sat on the bus, and she slapped her own cheek to stay awake. Their marathon sex had been everything she could have hoped for, but there was no room for her to enjoy the honeymoon period.

Vivian was all in.

She shifted the bags around so that the heaviest bag was in her right hand, and the two lighter bags in her left hand. It would be an uneven load, but it would be a good test of her balance and strength. As her stop approached, Vivian took a few breaths to psyche herself up, and rose to the challenge.

Her legs ached. Worth it, in every sense of the word, but it made the one mile trek with her load pretty rough. She had to stop twice to stretch. The hardest part was holding onto the bags. The straps dug into her fingers, and that was just unavoidable. Maybe she could look into some kind of shoulder strap thing. Maybe one of their gear bags could be repurposed from time to time, especially when she knew that some heavier items were on the list. Milk. Gatorade. Cans of soda. With a little preparation, she could conquer this too.

The stairs leading up to Lucia's second floor apartment were the hardest part, mostly because they happened all the way at the end. After everything else. She had to stop on the landing, halfway up, and even considered texting Lucia to come out and help, but ultimately it was her burden to carry and she was determined to do so.

"Luc," Vivian called, as she entered the apartment. She set the bags down just inside the door and stretched, bending backwards until her head was almost even with her chest. "Good news. Carly said it would be okay if I gave the girls lessons. I think she's finally coming around."

She transferred the bags up onto the kitchen counter one by one, and started unpacking. First and foremost was the little potted daisy. She held it under the tap for a few seconds, to give it a quick drink, and then headed to the table. There was a big window in the kitchen that caught morning sunlight, and it would be a perfect place for it. A little something to brighten the room.

The pottery shattered against the floor, but she barely noticed it. Everything stopped. Her heart. Sound. Time. There, in the middle of the kitchen table, was a needle. The orange cap sat a few inches away. The tip of the steel was discolored, with a ruddy brown fluid, and the plunger was all the way down. Under the needle was a sheet of paper, and on that piece of paper were written the words 'I fucked up'.

"Luc?" she said, voice breaking. "Lucia?"

Silence.

***

Tiffany grunted in exasperation as she hit a sour note, and stamped her foot. She got that from her father. Vivian reached over and made a slight change to her finger positions.

"Again."

She watched as Tiffany started playing again, and joined in after a couple bars. The little blonde seemed to get more out of the lessons when they were playing together, like she was participating in something bigger than herself, and Vivian was fine with that. She needed the practice just as much.

After two months, Tiffany had already progressed past playing scales ad infinitum. Her parents had bought her a little acoustic, and it was just about the most adorable thing ever. Ashley had one too, but she had never lasted more than ten minutes in any one lesson and she never practiced. She'd given up pretty quickly. She was more of a dancer and a singer, like her mom, while Tiffany took after her father. And, to a certain extent, his twin Vivian as well.

For just a moment, Tiffany's brow furrowed.

"Did that sound right?" Vivian asked, after the two of them played through a phrase of the chorus.

Tiffany looked up in thought, and then hesitantly shook her head.

"You've got a good ear. I played a wrong note just to see if you'd catch it."

Tiffany blinked and nodded. Of course, she didn't understand what it meant to have an 'ear for music', but Vivian did. Darren had taken piano lessons for a time, when they were younger, but he didn't have the passion for it that Vivian had, so nurturing Tiffany's eagerness would probably fall on her.

Carly came up and stood in the door a few minutes later, head tilted as she listened. Tiffany was facing away, and didn't see her mom, but Vivian did. After a few moments, Carly gave her a slow nod, which she returned.

"Sounds good, pumpkin," she said.

Tiffany's smile grew by a mile as she whipped around. "Mommy, did you hear?"

"I did," she said, in the exaggerated sing-song tone of a Mother answering a question for the thousandth time. "I can hear you guys down in the kitchen. You two sound really good together."

Tiffany turned and gave Vivian a big, toothy grin.

"Dinner's gonna be ready in a little bit, okay? Go wash your hands."

"Awwwwww!"

The little blonde grumped and groaned as she went into the bathroom, and Vivian nodded as she packed up her things.

"She's really coming along," Vivian said, as she stood.

"She practices every night. I didn't think she'd stick with it like this, but..." Carly smiled and shrugged. "You know, your brother and I really want to start paying you for these."

"No, I...No. That's okay." Vivian shook her head. "Just getting to come over like this has... It's purpose. I needed that. Happy to do it. ...Maybe someday, but not today." Then she cleared her throat, preparing the way for something she'd been trying to get out for a while. She'd even practiced it in front of a mirror.

"You know, for a while there, Darren was dead to me. And-and, you know, that was one-hundred percent on me. One-hundred percent. He and I used to have a really powerful twin thing, but I lost that in there somewhere... and... It's not the same. We're good... but I think a big part of it transferred to those two. Getting to see them is, just... it's everything."

Carly licked her lips, seemingly to stall for time, before she spoke. "Will you at least stay for dinner?"

Vivian's shoulders slumped a little. "I would, actually, but I can't. I won't have time tonight."

"Right," she said, nodding. "I almost forgot." After a beat, she added, "You know, you'd have more time if you weren't making the trip across town so much."

Vivia shook her head again. It wasn't the first time they'd offered to let her move back in. "No, I'm okay. It's a good setup in her old place, and the landlord was fine with transferring the lease into my name." She looked down and frowned, mumbling, "He almost seemed happy to be rid of her."

Carly nodded reluctantly, as she always did when Vivian turned her down. This time, though, Vivian stopped and gave Carly a big hug. Carly seemed surprised, and froze for a few seconds before hesitantly returning the embrace.

"O-okay," she said. "We're doing this."

"Thanks," Vivian said. "For everything."

Carly nodded as the hug ended, and Vivian hefted her guitar case.

"See you later," Carly called after her, to which Vivian gave a weak wave.

***

Vivian bustled back and forth, hooking cables here and there. She'd made it easier on herself, with colored marks to show what plugged into where, but it was still a ton of work. Dozens of pedals feeding into a few amps that then fed into a couple sound boards and synthesizers. All the pedals were laid out in an arc, staggered into two rows, with little markings in front of a couple of them to help her keep them all straight.

With the house lights up, it was easy to spot when Darren and Carly showed up. She gave them a wave, and they thankfully left her to her task. Lots to do before the lights went down yet. She got her stands set up, with the bass on one, an electric guitar on another, and an acoustic on a third. Drums would have been nice. Eventually she'd be able to work more instruments into her show, but for now it was complicated enough going back and forth between those three to record the looping samples live.

She got everything in place, and played a few bits and bobs on each of the instruments to see what they sounded like in her ear piece. The PA system wasn't on yet, so the volume barely made a dent against the alternative hits everyone else was listening to as they milled about, but the tone was great.