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She looked up, and saw that Dr. Jenny had come after all. That was a surprise, as Jen had said she'd already had plans, but the bigger surprise was that Delia had come along as well. She waved, and Delia, smiling brightly, waved back. It was her first time seeing either of them out of their scrubs, and she couldn't help but notice how nice Delia looked. She'd have to thank them later, and maybe buy Delia a drink. She'd gotten a vibe from the nurse, and this would be a good opportunity to find out more.
"Hey! Viv!"
Vivian emerged from her thoughts, and exchanged a tight-gripped handshake with the man who'd just hopped up next to the microphone. "Earl! Thanks for coming out!"
"Of course," the lead singer of Killcreek said, emphatically. "I heard your first show went really well! Glad we got back in time for this one! How're you doing?"
"A lot better," she said, nodding. "Yeah. Really good. How was the tour?"
"Fucking awesome," he said. "We were selling out clubs up and down the coast. It was great!"
"That's badass, man," she said. "God, it feels so good to be back up on a stage."
"I can tell! You look great!"
"Thanks!"
Earl licked his lips, and moved in a little close. "So, hey. You know how you were asking around? About... about Lucia?"
Vivian's stomach lurched. "Yeah?"
"So we're up in Olympia last week, and—Do you remember Razorback?"
"Yeah?"
"They opened up for us last week up in Olympia, at the Octopus Lounge. I'm talking to their singer, and he starts telling me about how, I guess it was like two weeks before that? They're playing a show down in LA, and after the show was over Lucia just... walked backstage."
She blurted, "She's in Los Angeles?"
"Walked in, shook some hands, and then poof. Right back out again. Does she even know those guys?
"A little," Vivian said, unable to hide the consternation. "We... um... Huh."
"You want to know what I think?"
Vivian nodded.
"I think she thought that it'd get back to you. You know? Poked her head out just enough. Razorback plays with enough bands up and down the coast that it was just a matter of time, but what the hell is she doing way down there?"
"She's got family in LA," she said softly.
"Well that's good. Maybe they can look out for her."
"Yeah," Vivian said. "Maybe."
"Sorry to hit you with that, but I thought you'd want to know. You gonna be okay tonight?"
"Yeah," she said, exhaling slowly. "Yeah, she's okay." A big chunk of weight fell off of her shoulders. It had been a hard realization that she wasn't responsible for Lucia, and to some extent she was still grappling with the idea. She nodded more emphatically, and said, "Thanks, man."
"Any time." They traded grips again, and he smiled broadly. "We're all here tonight, yeah? Can't wait to see the show!"
Vivian nodded, and peered out into the house. It wasn't hard to trace the direction he was going and look a little farther out to find the rest of Killcreek standing around one of the high tops. Several of them saw her looking and saluted her with their beers, and she waved right back.
And then, just behind them, Vivian spotted another face she hadn't expected to see. Her father had never been to any of her shows. Ever. Not with Insanity Hall, or any of the myriad of short-lived bands she'd been in before that. He didn't see her looking, and she still had work to do, but she made going down to see him priority number one once the show was done.
Then she'd buy Delia a drink.
The assistant manager of the club gave her a quick hand signal, letting her know she had five minutes, and she nodded. As she looked out at the crowd, and felt that energy, Vivian smiled, and that was the first time she'd smiled in as long as she could remember.
- COMMENTS
Lrtikagraph3 months agoA superb story. Hard, arresting. Convincingly real. I got here via Broken Spokes too and likewise grateful.
ThatNewGuy6 months agoWhat a wonderful story. In less skillful hands, the choice to write Vivian's early dialogue to match her speech impairment might have come across as grating or distracting. Instead, words like "Timesit?" and "Mmmfine" painted a vivid picture of Vivian's struggles and helped to highlight the contrast between her inner thoughts and her frustration at being unable to convey those thoughts adequately. It also allowed the reader to follow Vivian's recover in "real time" as we watch her speech improve. A terrific device, expertly employed.
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As an aside, I also loved this little bit of dialogue from one of the little girls: "Why is your eye weird?" Yep. That feels like a thing a kid would say!
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Bigger picture, the characters are fully drawn and the world they inhabit feels lived in. Darren and Vivian have a strong bond. Carly's hostility towards Vivian is harsh but understandable, and their détente at the end feels earned and satisfying.
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As another reader pointed out in the comments, the conflict is intense and gripping. Every bit of Vivian's hard-fought recovery from the accident feels real, as does her panic at being trapped behind the locked door. Lucia's temptation to use again when she fills in for Death Adder had me on the edge of my seat, pulling for her to get the heck out of there. Her eventual relapse, while expected, was still painful.
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Vivian's guilt---both from her role in the accident and the years she wasted/relationships she damaged because of her addition---drives much of the story. The scene where Lucia admits her own guilt and the rage she feels because of it is so powerfully drawn. Tough to read, but in a good way.
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I'm curious how you came up with some of the details that made Vivian's recovery feel so real (like the therapy scene using the bolts and nuts). Was that from research, anecdotal life experience, a combination of both? For the most part, these details did a nice job of lending verisimilitude to the story without bogging the reader down in minutiae.
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Just a fantastic piece of writing with characters that I genuinely cared about. I'm glad I finally carved out some time to read this and I hope to check out the other two stories in the series at some point in the near future.
GaiusPetronius6 months agoGod bless Broken Spokes for pointing me to you and to this series. Your writing is polished and yet raw; maybe it's the grittiness of the subject matter. You lose points on the craftsmanship front, and this would have benefited from the stern input of a fastidious, eagle-eyed editor, but those errors pale in comparison to the characters you created and developed and the skill with which you spun Vivian's tale. 5 stars.
okami1061over 1 year agoA hard story to read. I don't know if I will (or even want to) read it again.
The writing is well done, as usual. The emotions are deep exposed, also as usual. But still … hard for me.
I did the band scene a few years in college … also as a bass player. So, I could feel it. We were jazz though, and I think the fundamental nature of the music you play (or the music that plays you) deeply affects (or is affected by) your personality. In a way, like writing, it's a fundamental part of you.
We were good kids just having fun, but we stood shoulder to shoulder with plenty of bands like these that lived on the edge (or just over it in many cases). Like anything else in life, it's a tricky balance, walking close enough to the edge to actually *feel* the edge … and taking that one step too far, and not realizing you've fallen over the edge. I was lucky. Every person in our band were scientists and engineers. I think the objectivity of our fields of interest kept the real beasts at bay. Few are that lucky.
And no matter how objective you think you are, there's nothing more dangerous than a little fame.
Maybe that's why this is so hard to read, seeing the edge we walked so clearly in hindsight. And realizing how lucky we were. And reading about others not so lucky. But that's just my perspective. So many in that world would easily tell you that they'd rather have flamed on and burned out than to have only simmered along.
I can see both sides. Especially now, in my writing.
