All Comments on 'Au Pairs Ch. 01'

My apologies for some of the mistakes and typos, which hopefully were not overly distracting. I do plan to fix them soon following a more thorough editing.

Cheers- K

I can accept a few spelling mistakes but Dan appears in the story a few times, who is he, where di he come from and where does he go to?

Ao try to avoid cliches - white on rice, poontang. They cheapen your story, which is quite good.

Anonymous-

I thank you for your constructive comments. I made a name change mid-stream and my poor editing failed to remove "Dan" at least twice. Exuberance prompted me to post prior to a more thorough vetting, so for now, I can chalk up my failings to newbie-ism.

Your point on my usage of cliche terms is taken to heart as well. I agree with you and now believe that I could have dug a bit deeper for a more original thought.

Thank you very much for both taking the time to read my story and for your gift of useful criticism.

Yours,

-K

I would have liked more buildup. Perhaps flirting during the pool visits? Jumping on him instantly also seemed a little fake-ish. As a 50-something who has been with youg women, I've found that more connection has always happened first.