Audrey Ch. 04

She sat and waited for what seemed like a reasonable recovery time, then stood up and knocked on the door.

'Just a minute!' called Bryan.

Becky heard Sarah say something but couldn't catch it. She picked up the tray and waited. To her surprise, it was Sarah who called out.

'Come in, Becky,' she said.

Becky opened the door and went in. Sarah and Bryan were on the couch, still in the missionary position and both still wearing open dressing gowns. One side of Bryan's bathrobe covered their hips, but it was clear they were still joined.

'I thought you wanted a minute to get decent?' said Becky.

'Yes, and I said no,' said Sarah. 'If I'm going to share your husband, I need to get used to this.'

Becky smiled as she came over. Despite telling Bryan she didn't want him to feel like a stallion-for-hire, she did like the feeling of owning him. She pushed the pouffe forward with her foot and bent down to place the tray on it.

'What are those?' said Bryan.

'Gin and tonics,' said Becky. 'But I didn't have any lemon, so I used orange instead. Hope nobody minds.'

'I think we can live with that.'

Bryan moved, preparing to decouple himself from Sarah.

'Wait!' said Becky, taking the tea towel from her arm. 'Could you put this under Sarah before you pull out?'

She turned to Sarah.

'Much as I love my husband,' said Becky, 'I don't want sperm all over my couch.'

'Understandable,' said Sarah. 'Becky, why don't you put the towel under me?'

There was a hint of challenge in her eyes. Becky smiled.

'With pleasure,' she said.

It was now impossible for Becky not to see the intimate details. Sarah lifted herself so that Becky could slide the tea towel under her. Then she took Becky's hand, inviting her to stay and watch.

Bryan pulled out. Sarah let out a sigh, a droplet of semen escaped and then her vaginal lips settled back into vertical petals. Becky groaned and put her forehead against Sarah's head.

'I'm sorry...' she said. 'I'm turning into a perv.'

'What do you mean "turning into"?' said Bryan.

'Shut up!'

But she was smiling. Bryan stood up and tied his bathrobe. Meanwhile, Sarah sat up and looked down at herself. She shook her head. When she looked up, she saw Becky watching her with a concerned look on her face.

'You are okay, aren't you?' said Becky.

'Of course I'm okay!'

Sarah flung her arms around Becky and the two women embraced. They hugged each other for a long time and Bryan gazed at them, his heart aching at the sight of them. They look so beautiful together, he thought. Those two would make such a great team, keeping a beautiful home, managing the children, taking it in turns to make love to their man in the evenings. Bryan shook his head. 'Snap out of it,' he thought. It was the kind of male fantasy that feminists love to deride -- the man with two happy women. He knelt on the carpet and reached for a gin and tonic, the ice clinking against the glass.

'Hey!' said Becky. 'Wait for us!'

The two women tumbled off the couch and went to kneel with Bryan. Sarah wiped herself off between her legs, then tossed the tea towel away. She accepted the glass that Becky handed to her.

'What shall we drink to?' said Bryan.

'Before we drink to anything,' said Sarah. 'I want to apologise for my behaviour.'

'You were jealous,' said Becky. 'It's allowed.'

'Yes, but...'

Sarah fell silent. She held her glass in both hands and looked down at it, her expression troubled. This time, Becky did not need a glance from Bryan to tell her to keep quiet and let Sarah think. Becky took a sip of her gin and tonic. Fuck the toast.

Sarah looked up nervously.

'Listen, I'm not just jealous,' she said. 'I'm really confused. And...'

She stopped, nervous about carrying on. Bryan lowered his glass and said gently:

'Sarah, say whatever it is you need to say. We will not be offended, I promise you.'

'That goes for me too,' said Becky.

Sarah swallowed and nodded. She focused on Becky.

'Listen...' she said. 'Bryan said on the phone that he wanted to have sex with us in front of each other. But I'm not ready to see that. Right now, I feel like he's mine, and ... I don't know ... I want to keep that feeling, at least for a while. I know it's selfish, but--'

'Sarah, I understand,' said Becky.

Becky took the glass from Sarah's hands, put the two onto the tray and then gave Sarah another hug. Bryan watched, wondering if he'd ever seen his wife love another woman quite like this. Becky didn't have many close female friends.

'Why don't you go to bed and wait for us?' said Becky.

'Actually, I think I should sleep alone,' said Sarah. 'I've crossed so many of my own boundaries this evening and I need time to digest that.'

'Of course.'

Becky and Sarah slowly ended their hug. Sarah gave Bryan an awkward smile, then turned back to Becky.

'Can I borrow a T-shirt or something?' asked Sarah.

'Of course! Just go into the cupboard and take whatever you want. Mi casa, tu casa.'

Sarah smiled and gave Becky a kiss on the cheek. Then she went to Bryan and did the same with him.

'Good night,' said Sarah.

Husband and wife wished her goodnight in turn and Sarah quietly left the room.

*************************

'What do you think?' said Becky.

She was sitting with her legs stretched forward on the carpet, leaning back against her husband. Bryan had his legs on either side of his wife, holding her with one arm from behind, his own back supported by the base of the couch. They both sipped gin and tonics, their glasses topped up with the drink Sarah left behind. Bryan swallowed a mouthful and sighed.

'I don't know,' he said. 'She could go either way. I get the feeling she's never done anything like this before.'

'Neither have we.'

'Yes, we have ... in our imaginations.'

'That doesn't count!'

'Why not? How many times have we fantasized about this and egged each other on? We must have made love to Audrey fifty times before we ever got to Sarah for real.'

'Correction: before you ever got to Sarah for real.'

Bryan paused. He took a long pull of his drink, then carefully put the glass down and held his Woman with both arms, his mouth by her ear.

'Do you want to make love to Sarah?' he whispered.

'I don't know.'

'Yes, you do.'

Becky swallowed. She took a long gulp of gin and tonic, the ice rattling, then lowered the glass.

'Ever since I saw you fuck her,' said Becky, 'I've been thinking about her little white body. Those perfect little feet. That sweet little cunt. I want to lick her. I want to finger her and watch her face when she cums.'

Becky screwed her eyes shut.

'But do I want those things because I love her?' she said. 'Or am I just a horny bitch who gets a kick out of fucking someone beautiful?'

'Welcome to my world,' said Bryan.

Becky laughed. She reached behind and took hold of the back of his neck.

'I love you,' she said. 'I love you so much!'

'I know, my dear. And I love you too.'

'You do, don't you? I can tell you anything. Absolutely anything!'

'That's why you chose me.'

He kissed her. They kissed passionately, Becky twisting her neck round to kiss him. Then she put her almost empty glass to one side and turned to kneel facing him. On a whim, she pulled open her bathrobe and presented his face with her juicy, round tit. Bryan's mouth began immediate work on it. Becky held his head as he noshed on her breast, her speech coming out in gasps.

'Did you ... enjoy ... coming inside her?'

'I loved it,' said Bryan, in between mouthfuls. 'It was ... fucking ... awesome.'

'Better ... than with me?'

Bryan laughed. He grabbed Becky and sent her backwards, lowering her to the floor and pinning her down with his body. He lay on top of her, his face over her face, his fingers going through her hair. He had a wide grin and his eyes were sparkling with mirth.

'I knew you were going to say that! I knew you were going to say that!'

His grin was infectious. Becky found herself laughing at her own insecurity.

'Look, I'm a girl, okay? I just want to know that I'm still the fairest in the land.'

'You are the fairest in the land.'

'Why, Mister Sandford? Why am I the fairest in the land?'

Bryan looked down at the woman's face. Her eyes were full of love, her smile was happy, but he knew he needed a good answer to that question. 'You and Sarah are beautiful in different ways' wasn't going to cut it.

'Sarah is submissive,' he said. 'Maybe that's why things didn't work so well when she was on top. She wants to surrender to a man, to receive him inside her. And, speaking as a man, it's quite something to take a woman who wants to be taken.'

'I want to be taken!'

'No, you want to be overpowered,' said Bryan. 'That's beautiful too, but it's not the same thing.'

Bryan saw Becky frown as she considered this. He could tell by her expression that she was looking for objections. He took her head firmly in hand, forcing her to look right into his eyes.

'Once upon a time,' he said, 'there was a woman whose mother was a goddess and whose father was a king. Now, because her mother was a goddess, this woman could run faster than anyone alive. But because her father was a king, she was expected to get married and produce an heir to the throne. So this woman got her father to decree that any man who wanted to marry her had to compete with her in a race. If he won, she would be his wife and have his babies. But if she won ... the man would lose his head.'

Bryan leaned closer.

'That's you, my dear,' he said. 'You're that woman. You want a man who can best you, even when you don't play by the rules. That's why equality doesn't work with you, because you despise a man you can't look up to. It also means that, as a man, I have to be at the top of my game.'

Bryan looked at her eyes. The frown was gone and Becky was smiling, listening, wanting to hear more.

'Under all your so-called "love",' he said, 'you're a ruthless, amoral Cave Woman. The reason you stick around is not because your commitment is worth a damn, but because I give you what you want. And no matter how many times you say you love me, I know you would discard me in a second if something better came along.'

'Then why are you with me?'

'Because to keep you, I have to be a Cave Man ... and I'm getting a taste for it. Besides...'

He leaned in close so his lips were almost touching hers.

'Once you've fucked a goddess, it's impossible to go back.'

Becky's eyes shone. Bryan kissed her tenderly, but it quickly became anything but tender. Becky was wired and she wanted it hard, aggressive, passionate. They paused to rip off their bathrobes, then Bryan hauled her onto the duvet, onto the very spot where he'd fucked Sarah, and ravished his wife with everything he had.

*************************

Becky slept deeply that night. A deep dreamless sleep. Dreamless, because once you make a dream come true, it's no longer a dream. The place in her head where Audrey used to live was now empty, vacated, a room with no tenant. There was peace.

Daylight was filtering through the closed curtains when Becky awoke. She was wrapped up in bed, still slumbering, when soft fingertips brushed hair from her face and combed it lightly along her scalp. Becky let out a tiny grunt of pleasure and blearily cracked open a single eye. Two eyes looked back. Two beautiful brown eyes, full of warmth and amusement, the black mascara giving them more than a hint of exotic femininity. It was a beautiful sight to wake up to.

'Hello, Becky,' said Sarah in her soft, posh voice.

'Hi...'

As Becky slowly edged towards wakefulness, she felt Bryan's bulk behind her, his steady breathing constant, unchanging. Her Cave Man was asleep. She smiled as she felt Sarah's fingernails slightly scratch her scalp through her hair, and then noticed the silk sleeve of a blouse.

Becky's eyes snapped open. Yes, Sarah was dressed, her makeup done, her hair brushed and arranged. Which could only mean...

'You're leaving,' said Becky.

Sarah's eyes turned sad and she nodded. Becky was now wide awake, her own eyes pricked with tears. She stared helplessly at the other woman, ransacking her mind to find the words that might get her to stay.

'Come downstairs,' whispered Sarah. 'Alone. Let Bryan sleep.'

She bit her lip and rose to her feet. Despite her small size, Becky felt that Sarah filled up the room with her presence. This became even more acute when Sarah silently left, leaving a feeling of emptiness in her wake.

Becky slipped out of bed, put on knickers and a T-shirt -- the same Prada T-shirt Sarah had borrowed and conscientiously returned -- and pulled on her bathrobe for good measure. She glanced down at Bryan. He was on his side, one arm stretched out, his large torso gently rising and falling as he slept. Becky swallowed and silently left the room.

Sarah was waiting for her in the living room. She sat cross-legged on the couch, her slip-on shoes placed neatly to one side, her back straight as she lightly held her ankles. Becky closed the door and went to sit next to her. Sarah's posture made it clear that she was there to talk, but Becky couldn't help herself -- she embraced Sarah and held her close, her arms around her.

Sarah hugged back, but Becky could feel the resistance. Tears streamed down Becky's face as she contemplated the thought that she would never, ever make love to this woman. When Sarah ended the embrace, she was surprised by the tears.

'Becky, my goodness!' she said. 'I had no idea!'

She hugged Becky again, a sisterly hug. It felt better than the first one, way better, and Becky rested her cheek against the other woman's hair.

'I love you!' said Becky through her tears. 'I don't know how else to say it.'

Sarah held her close, but said nothing. Becky knew what that meant. Indeed, in the past, she had done the same thing herself, wanting to let a man know where he stood without having to say it. Even so, her mind still hunted for ways around it.

Eventually, the hug ended and the two women looked at each other. They were both sad, but Sarah also looked determined.

'I can't do this,' she said. 'I can't share Bryan. I'm sorry.'

Becky nodded in understanding. Well ... maybe she didn't understand the details, but Sarah had always been honest about being in love with her husband, and that was reason enough. Becky wiped her face with the heel of her hand.

'It's okay,' she said. 'I get it.'

'I do want both of you to know,' said Sarah, 'that I'm still very happy we did this. I love that I made love to Bryan. And I love that you saw me at my most intimate. I know it's a cliché, but I really do have no regrets, not even a sliver of a regret! I want you to know that.'

Becky tried to smile as she nodded. She knew this was a big thing, but it felt like cold comfort in the present moment. Sarah leaned forward and gave Becky another hug. Becky didn't want to let go.

'I'm going to miss you,' she said.

'No, you won't!' said Sarah. 'We're still going to be friends! We're still going to have coffees with each other and take the kids out with each other and continue to have great talks. You will always be my sperm sister!'

Becky laughed. She had coined that phrase and the first time she used it, she could see Sarah mentally rolling her eyes. The fact that she was using it now ... it meant a lot. Silly, perhaps, but it did. They shared a secret knowledge. This time it was Becky who ended the hug, looking at Sarah with love.

'Is there nothing I can say to change your mind?' she said.

Sarah took Becky's hand.

'Listen,' she said. 'If we lived in a country which allowed a man more than one wife, I would be asking to move in with you, asking to become Bryan's second wife, asking to have his child. That's how strongly I feel about you guys. Hell, if I didn't have Max, I might be asking you anyway and take my chances.

'But I do have Max. And if the three of us moved in together and -- worse -- actually made each other happy, the self-righteous monogamists would crucify us and the children. I'm from a background of people who preach lifelong fidelity and sexual morality and -- trust me -- they are hypocrites of the highest order! They claim to know what love is while spewing nothing but hatred, and they don't even see the contradiction! They would rather see me "faithful" to a husband who bounces my head off a cupboard door than together with a man and woman who actually love me! But much as I would love to stick it to these arseholes, I can't involve Max. I just can't. And I know you understand.'

Becky knew Sarah was referring to their both being mothers. And she was right too. The reason she and Bryan took such pains to keep this whole threeway love affair secret was because they knew what might happen to Tara at school if it got out that Mummy and Daddy had sex with other people. Fair or not, children suffer for the sins of their parents.

'I do understand,' said Becky. 'And I had no idea you felt that strongly about Bryan.'

'About both of you!' said Sarah. 'Have you ever seen Vicky Christina Barcelona?'

'No.'

'See it. It shows a threeway relationship between a man and two women, but in a very non-judgemental way. I think you and Bryan would like it.'

Becky smiled miserably. She suddenly pictured all three of them snuggling together, watching the movie together, then making love, she with Sarah, Sarah with Bryan, Bryan with her. Sarah swallowed, slipped on her shoes and stood up, perhaps picturing the same thing.

'I have to go,' she said.

It was so obvious by her voice that she had no desire to go, that it broke her heart to go, that she wanted to stay and stay and stay, that Becky burst into tears. Sarah burst into tears and Becky stood up and the two women held each other, their arms tight around their bodies, crying and weeping, tears pouring down their faces, mourning the death of a future that promised so much and yet could never come to pass.

*************************

Bryan was awake when Becky returned to the bedroom. She looked bedraggled, worn out, her eyes raw and her nose red. He was sitting up in bed and he opened the bedcovers as she approached. Becky climbed in, bathrobe and all. She lay in his arms for a long time before either of them spoke.

'She loves you,' said Becky.

'I know.'

'Very much.'

'I...'

Bryan hesitated. He wasn't sure what Becky meant by 'very much'. He waited for further information.

'She wanted to have your baby,' said Becky. 'She wanted to move in with us.'

'I see.'

'You don't seem very surprised.'

'Sarah was always adamant that she wanted a serious relationship. No, it was more than that. She wanted an "intimate partnership".'

'Did she tell you that on the night you and she were alone?'

'Yes.'

Becky lay with her head on her husband's chest, aware of his heartbeat, his relaxed breathing.

'I'm glad she had that night with you,' she said. 'There are moments when it bothers me, but it was so important for her. I'm glad it worked out that way.'

'It didn't "work out that way",' said Bryan. 'It happened because you made the decision that you would sleep in the spare room. That was a very brave thing to do.'

'That's sweet of you to say.'

'I'm not being "sweet"!'

Bryan lifted her head by her chin so that he could look her in the eyes.

'Out of the three of us, you had the most to lose,' he said. 'You had no idea what might happen if Sarah and I made love. But you trusted your instincts and went ahead anyway. That's courage, my dear! That's believing in yourself! That's trusting your judgement and taking a leap of faith. Whatever love was created in this house last night, it was all down to you.'