All Comments on 'Autumn Pt. 01 Ch. 01'

Very different from the last version, like all the changes. I expect things will heat up soon!

" but there'd never been another woman quite like his mother. She was all that mattered. All that would ever matter."

I really hope that Frank won't be dissapointed.

Too wordy!!!

Reads like an overachieving college freshman English Major trying to impress their prof with their ability to use every spelling word and writing technic the have ever been taught. I only made it a third of the way down page two before I could take no more. I felt like I was reading the same paragraph 3 or 4 times before a new paragraph was told 3 or 4 times. You remind me of John Grisham, and most would take that as a compliment, but those that know me know that is the exact opposite. I can't stand John Grisham (movies are ok) but books are headache causing, nausea inducing, wordy bore-fests. Less is More!!!

Couldn't get through the first page, two words of conversation and almost no action. Way too much description.