Awakening Desire Pt. 01

=== THE TEXTING ===

Maya is sitting on her comfortable couch in her swanky apartment. She'd taken a leave from work. Yet, she can't stop thinking about work - that's all she's done all her life. She'd been the stereotypical good Indian girl, focusing on grades and then a career and family. She'd surpassed her peers but something was missing.

Maya's eyes floated over to the degrees & quiz prizes and yet, all she sees are years gone by. The highlight of her life in her twenties was kissing a stranger at a party. She didn't do those things back then because she was a good girl, and good girls don't do that. Then with marriage any sort of thought of fun and excitement was pushed away for decades on end until finally the kids grew old enough to leave home and husband grew bored enough to ask for a divorce. That was actually pretty rare in Indian families, it was more customary to just continue living in misery until death, but new times breed new attitudes. That and being immigrants in a Western nation, made divorce more palatable.

These thoughts milled around her mind for a while, Maya was eager to silence her mind and try to do some work, but she resisted the temptation to open her work laptop. Instead she went through her phone. Same boilerplate Instagram stuff, she sighed as she scrolled through mindlessly for a few moments. She was almost ready to throw the phone away when she remembered about this new app she's on. Tinder.

She had overheard an intern talk about it, and made a profile. It felt weird and wrong, she'd installed and deleted it multiple times, but drive close to the edge enough times and you're bound to slip off once. She'd bit the bullet and finally made a profile.

It wasn't anything racy, just some pictures in work clothes, skirts and a top with stockings. She was a professional afterall, a gym selfie and a dress which showed a bit of her ample bosom - something she thought was risqué.

In the past two weeks she had talked to a couple men, or boys really. Didn't matter how young or old, they all seemed the same to her. This morning however, she had finally come across a profile which made her stop & consider.

"Hmm, he looks...". The thought trailed off, but he looked like the boys back in college. The ones she'd oogle at in the library when she pretended to be studying. She swiped right, but she had no hopes - those kinds of men certainly don't go for a forty something brown lady, who's certainly not all that anymore.

Opening the app now, Maya was pleasantly surprised when the man with the remarkable profile had actually messaged her.

The message Jim had sent was a typical one that he'd used a few times before. "Looking for a reason to delete this app. Are you her?" A combination of cheesy and a bit tongue-in-cheek.

Maya looked puzzled as she read the message. What does this mean, does he want to ask me out? After staring at the screen for some time, all Maya could muster was "I don't know, am I?"

Jim's phone buzzed in his pocket, he stopped in his tracks, pulling it out to read the message from a girl called Maya on Tinder. He'd sent quite a few messages this morning so he had to remind himself which one of his matches she was. The moment Jim tapped away from his profile, the screen showed the profile of the girl, or actually, woman. The number starting with 4 next to her name had Jim tilting his head to the side, taking just a second to recall the reason why he'd swiped right on a woman in her 40s. To be honest, there were two of them.

You couldn't make out much given her work attire, but the gym pics and one with a bit of cleavage showing let him know that this woman wasn't like the college floozies he was used to who could barely claim a C cup. If he was honest, it wasn't just her bust which was unlike any he'd ever seen or felt, but rather everything about her. You go through enough lithe college floozies and suddenly you start to crave some variety. He realized after a while that this woman's pics had him frozen in the middle of the campus quad, so he put his phone away and resumed his walk, yet she was still on his mind.

As he walked to his dorm room, he was split about messaging this woman or not. There was a non-zero chance she was actually married and looking for some fun, the type of fun that could see him getting chased off with a cricket bat by an irate spouse. With that thought in mind, Jim pulled out his phone, went to the chat and started to type.

"So kind of your husband to help with your Tinder profile pics. If that's not #relationshipgoals then I don't know what is."

Perhaps he was being unfair, perhaps there was no hubby in the scene, but either way that message perfectly conveyed Jim's interest, as well as trepidation.

Maya was frozen for a good minute before she realized the only thing heaving was her breath...and her bosom. Why did she reply to that text? This is not something girls like her...women like her did! Why would a man like him want anything to do with her? He probably lived in the gym. Maya only started going like a year ago because she's well...old? Nah, She's oldish. He probably smiled and moved around with ease in the gym, while she awkwardly stumbled around lost. That sports bra had been a mistake!

As her thoughts wandered off, her phone buzzed again. That was so Maya, alone in her home & yet the phone was on silent. She read the message, Husband? What did he....? She shook her head, this was a mistake and set the phone away. But she couldn't get it out of her mind.

"Hey I deserve some credit too - I did all the posing myself!"

Sent.

Mayas head fell with...shame? Regret? The feeling of being naughty? Her dark hair across her shoulders, dark glasses perched up on her nose. Her small shoulders contracted with tension, as she stretched in her black sports bra & legs stretched in her pink yoga pants. She decided to get a glass of water, planting her feet clad in white socks on the cold, cold ground. All these years, and London was still so damn cold & chilly.

As he put his phone down, Jim came back down to the real world. All of this sleeping around was fun, he loved it, but just like the end of high school he'd started to get a bit bored of it. He recalled the girl he'd dated for almost 6 months before he came for college. They thought they could make long-distance work, but they couldn't and frankly the way she so quickly moved on, did hurt him. It had been an incentive for Jim to not care so much, but lately he'd been craving something different. Something that involved commitment?

That's when he got a message, looking down to notice her name first. "Maya..." it rolled off his lips so easily, as if it was a sign of things to come. Her message provoked a smirk from the young man. She certainly did have a sense of humor. 'She's married, leave her be.' he thought.

Jim tried to imagine an angry Indian man with a big mustache chasing after him, hoping that might dissuade him from picking up his phone again, but before he knew it, he was back on the chat screen. He was inclined to think that perhaps she was joking.

"I'd invite you for a coffee, but I'm not sure who pays in that case. On the one hand I am a gentleman, on the other...I'm just a 20 something year old broke student." With these excuses he was hoping she might be the sensible one and call things off because he felt a draw that was a bit too strong to resist.

Maya poured herself a tall drink of water and sat herself down on the chair by the dining table. As her phone buzzed again, she couldn't wait to see the message - a childlike enthusiasm swept across her.

She read the message. She knew what he meant. Did she want to meet him?

It all sounded too good to be true. He was the guy she had really, really wanted to date back in Uni but never got around to. Did she deserve a second chance? She decided she did, after all those long years. She deserved it & some more.

"I have a coffee machine in my apartment."

Maya didn't know if this is something she was ready for. Inviting a stranger over? This wasn't her style, or even remotely something she did. In the last eight months that she'd been living alone, only two men had finally gotten around to her house, and only one of them she'd kissed. And that was after weeks of dinners and dates and discussions. Every step was a roller coaster drop for her.

Maya walked to her bedroom and combed her hair. She looked at herself in the mirror, the brown complexion, the dark hair, the tiny gold necklace around her soft brown neck. She clutched her comb harder and started to go through hair faster. What. Was. She. Thinking?!

What if he said yes? What if he really came over? What if he, what if he wanted things? Maya couldn't compete with those young women, not now & not when she had been young.

Jim had resolved to change things. He wasn't happy anymore with the carefree fuckboy lifestyle. He didn't think he'd be ready to go for something a bit more serious, but perhaps that's the change he needs right now. There was this girl, from one of his classes, Victoria. He'd barely spoken to her until a few days ago, but there was something about her. It had taken him asking her out almost 4 times until she finally said yes. As he arrived at his dorm, the young man tossed his bag on the floor, collapsing onto his futon. That's when he got a message reply from Maya.

It was a simple and direct reply to his 'dilemma'. Also it was an invitation into her home, with an implication of what might happen once there. On the one hand Jim was excited, on the other the pace, the uncertainty over her hubby...he wasn't sure, but he couldn't walk away so easily either.

"That's very kind, but I have a rule to always meet in public for the first time. That's how I've avoided getting kidnapped." he typed and sent that, a small chuckle escaping from his lips.

"Would you do me a favour? Would you take a pic for me, holding two fingers up? There are an awful lot of catfishes on Tinder."

Right, okay that was done. Victoria, he had to set something up with Victoria. This distraction over Tinder simply wasn't right.

Maya played with her golden necklace for a while, until she realized some time had elapsed since she had sent the message. Did he not reply? Where was her phone? Damn.

She walked back to the dining table and checked her phone. No reply. Huh.

She sat staring at the phone for a bit until the phone finally went pinged/

Kidnap? What....okay he's clearly got some moves, funny. Public...what if, what if someone saw her? Her with a younger, white man? What would they think? Maybe she'd just make up a story about him being an intern or whatever, taking him out to a "work lunch".

Picture? Okay, maybe she'd send him one. But like this? She wasn't even dressed up. What if he saw that she was wearing a sports bra? What then? Maya hurried to her room & opened her closet. Hmm. She needed to find something. Something interesting but not too much.

She got it! The mango colored top would be perfect. V-neck, but not too low cut. Tight, but not suffocating.

She hurriedly put her top on & adjusted it around her ample breasts. It was a little tight around the stomach, but it was meant for a much younger woman afterall.

She took a couple of pictures. She didn't like any. Finally took one with two fingers making a V sign and winking. This would work.

"How about some fish & chips & a pint?" And sent him the picture. Wait, is he even allowed to drink? Think straight Maya, this is London. Everyone drinks.

The moment right after he sent that message, Jim looked up, picturing the very same thing he'd suggested. Him and Maya out on a date, in public. Sure it afforded him the security of 'not getting kidnapped' but also, in public, the two of them? If it weren't for the different races, one might even assume they were mother and son. He couldn't have something like that circulating freely. Jim is going out with a woman twice his age?! He had a reputation on campus afterall.

Yeah he was being nuts, a married woman, an older woman...he had to stop all of that, arrange a date with Victoria and that would be the end of it. Just as his resolve solidified, it melted into putty the moment he opened up the picture that she sent him. Suddenly the image of the two of them out in public didn't look so bad in his head if he got to bury his face in her chest a while later, cricket bat be damned!

She was cute, attractive, hot even and those two reasons that had first caught his gaze peeked up at him. More than that, there was a look in her eye that made the young man eager to know more about this woman.

"I'm down. Shakespeare's Duck pub, you know it? I can be there in around 30 minutes." Jim typed and sent. He took a hot shower, trimmed his beard a bit more and then stepped out to find his outfit. He opted for something rather casual, dark blue jeans, white Tee underneath a grey open hoodie. Walking back to the bathroom, he ran his hand through his auburn hair, messing them up a bit. His dark green eyes focused down on his hoodie, adjusting it over his broad shoulders. The white T-shirt underneath was tight enough that his toned chest made the fabric of the shirt swell noticeably. Jim got out of his dorm, grabbing a bus to head over to said pub. Stepping inside he looked around to see if he could spot her.

Maya couldn't believe it. Her. She. Maya. Had a date. With this tall handsome white man. It was like the romance novels she'd sneaked into her bedroom when she was younger. She quickly snapped out of it, she only had 30 minutes to get ready!

She hurried to her room. What was she going to wear? She couldn't wear the loungewear she was in? Maya went through her dresses, too short, too motherly, too bright. Then she saw it. The black dress she's worn at her company gala. It wasn't too much of anything and it was perfect! It was conservative enough to cover her entire cleavage, but at the same time tight enough that her bosom formed a prominent outline onto the dress fabric. Maybe she'd pair it with her new teal heels!

=== THE DATE ===

Just before Jim could walk deeper into the pub to locate his date,he heard the old door creak open, looking over his shoulder, stopping instantly as he realized she'd just stepped in. His body turned to face her, but as he took a step forward he was frozen.

His eyes opened wide, in an instant his gaze had been hijacked by the lovely outline of her breasts struggling against the fabric of her dress. The 'two reasons' that had made him swipe right, had merely winked at him through the photos, but now as she stood in front of him, head on, his only regret was that he'd not found her sooner.

Jim wasn't sure how much time had passed, he wasn't even sure if or what she'd said to him, only as the silence grew more and more awkward did he even think to look up at her. A warm, almost motherly and yet also appealing face smiled at him. The shape of her face was framed beautifully by her hair which she'd let down for the date. He cleared his throat to say something, but really he wasn't done taking his date in.

The young man took a step back, letting his gaze down once more, with immense hardship he focused on the rest of her body, her thick brown thighs kept his focus for quite a bit, before he looked up once more, noting the way age had painted her features in quite a remarkable way.

"Maya right?" he inquired, drawing closer. "At least I better hope so, otherwise my Tinder date is getting stood up." he added with a smile and stepped forward, opening his arms to pull her in for a hug, feeling a handshake would be too formal and really something primal inside him wanted to feel her body pressed against his. "It's great to meet you." he whispered in her ear.

Maya ran into Jim at the pub's entrance. She took it all in. The height. The soft hair & the hard muscles. The eyes which looked at her the way she'd always hoped to be looked at by someone like him. Maya was wondering what to say until she noticed that Jim didn't say anything either.

Her eyes were fixed on his handsome face, so young and so handsome. It was an effort keeping her knees buckling under her. This was it. And he looked right back at her. Her breasts. They had always driven attention and hollers, but this, this she did not mind. This was welcome.

She didn't know if he noticed that her legs were shaking from the nerves, and here he was was looking at her thighs. Did he think they were too big? No, the way he looked at them...

It was strange. Being desired like that. Being overwhelmed by his singular attention. And at the same time she couldn't keep her eyes off him.

That grey hoodie was just in the way! That white tee needed to come off like right now! That pair of jeans would look better on her bedroom carpet!

He said something and before she could respond he was hugging her. It felt good. So good. Smelling him. His strong arms around her.

"It's good to meet you too. Shall we? Maybe some table with not so many around...."

Jim leaned back from the hug. With introductions out of the way, Jim had to think about what came next. They came for a fish and chips and a pint afterall. He eyed the booths in the distance, thinking they'd be much better than the rather distant wooden tables spread throughout the pub. The place was not very crowded, but it wasn't empty either. Maya's comment about a table with not so many around caused him to look over her way, the look on his face could be read as 'you naughty girl', but he didn't say anything.

He led her to the bar, they had to order there first. He thought about taking her hand, but opted against that. This whole thing about being in public, he'd suggested it, but now he was detesting it. He had to be careful, at least until they got to the booth.

"What can I get you?" the man behind the bar asked.

"Two fish and chips please and two pints of..." he looked over at the ales on offer. Glancing at Maya. "I'll trust your judgement on that one." he placed his hand on her shoulder as if to encourage her to order for them, yet in that moment he couldn't resist, his finger dipping into the fabric of her dress, a soft squeeze by his fingers was but a hint of the intense desire burning within.

In that moment Jim stepped back just a bit, craning his neck down to look at her heavenly derriere. The fabric of her dress stretched out by her plump cheeks, he could only imagine what it would be like to have his white seed contrasting so beautifully against her brown rump.

"Cash or card?" the man asked, not sure who to look at, not sure if this was a date or a business meeting or if they were even related??

"I got it." Jim said, pulling out his wallet, offering his card to the man.

Maya wanted to pinch herself. Oh my God, it was happening. Just like those novels & movies! As he gave her that "naughty girl" look Maya smiled softly What a dreamy, handsome man! And he was looking at her like that! She followed him to the bar, and saw him take the lead and order. What a rush. What a man. A MAN!!

As he urged her to order the drinks, she almost fumbled something stupid. Then she seemed to gather her senses again, not without some self-scolding.

"Something golden. Something Belgian." she said. As she felt him touch her she felt literal sparks. Her body was frozen but her mind roared, "Something fine & British, like this man next to me!" she finally decided.

As the man asked for payment, and Jim tried to offer, Maya knew this was her moment. No. She wasn't gonna let this happen. Not their first time.

She softly touched Jim's hand as if to stop him, & withdrew her card from her purse, placing it on the counter, she could see the barman knew - this wasn't business. This was personal.

Jim let his hand with the card remain just a second longer, if it meant he could savor the feeling of her fingers touching his hand like that. As Jim put the card back into his wallet, he was struggling to suppress a smile, thinking of her comment about 'something fine and British', unable to believe she'd actually said that outloud. He could worry about the ramifications of them being openly on a date later on, right now he was having a hard time figuring out why a woman almost twice his age had made such an impression on him.