Awakening - KIm

Yeah, so I am totally a blowjob queen, or I should say, I was in the past, anyway. Am I a slut? - totally not, although I have nothing against sluttiness or anyone enjoying being or loving a "slut". What I get from sucking guys has nothing to do with daddy issues or the need to be an attention whore. I didn't then and don't now sleep around for kicks. It's all really much simpler than that.

I'm Kim, by the way. New England born and raised. Oh, of course you want to know that I'm a strawberry blond curvy girl-next-door type. I'm the rare ginger that tans however, so as summer rolls around there are usually tan lines and freckles involved. I'm a reddish-head on top, there is a neatly trimmed carpet below, and yes, it matches the drapes. As I said, I'm curvy, and a tad tall for a girl but not towering. And I've got dimples both in my cheeks and above my butt in my lower back. I gotta think that the cheek dimples add to the blowjob charm LOL. Big green eyes. Oh and I have beautiful hands with long slender fingers. You probably don't care about that last part, but I do because I feel they look great when I'm playing my guitar.

So anyway, as I was saying, I like using my mouth on guys. I say it that way, because ladies if you're just "sucking dick" (UGH!), you are definitely missing the boat on all the fun. There's nibbling, licking, tonguing, rubbing, of course kissing, and so much more, and there's a lot more than just a dick down there to play around with. I don't have a dick (obviously) so I'm not speaking from experience, but I've got to imagine that if the only tool a girl's got in her arsenal is a head-bobbin slobber-fest, that must get mighty tedious for the guy. Oh, and no throat-fucking i.e. so called "deep throat" for me. I've never done it and don't ever intend to. It just looks icky and seems like nothing more than a power-trip ego thing for the guys. If you're into it, whatever, but I prefer "mouth play" - it should be light and fun! I mean there are vaginas for power fucking, right?

So the blowjob stuff started innocently enough. My best guy friend Dean and I spent the summer after high school graduation goofing around together before heading off to college. We would end up hanging around almost every afternoon that hot summer- sometimes doing stuff like swimming, watching dumb movies, getting ice cream, listening to music together; that kind of silly stuff high school friends do. Neither of us had a whole lot of opposite--sex experience compared to most 18 year olds (ok, none!). I was a late bloomer physically, and was ashamed of my skinny body until everything fell into place senior year and I got real tits and a womanly ass. I'd also been too wrapped in my writing and studies (3.92 GPA baby!). Dean, although a hottie, was really shy and I think a little afraid to ask girls out (high school girls can be so intimidating!), but as he later revealed he spent plenty of time jerking himself off!. But of course, by senior year, we had both become a little curious. Dean is/was a kinda low-key guy - not a macho man type but a cute emo-boy-band vibe but without the ridiculous hair, skinny jeans or smug attitude, plus he's a little too old for that, kinda like a brother from another mother to me. It started with a bunch of curious kissing every afternoon for a few weeks. Eventually some light groping began to work its way into the game. After a while I noticed that he'd been sporting some serious wood in his jeans. Admittedly, I'd find myself having to change panties after a typical bout of our afternoon sessions, if you know what I mean!

Anyways, eventually I started to feel bad for Dean. He never pressured me or anything or even mentioned it, but I felt bad that he had to go home and deal with a "problem" himself that was partly my fault! I was cool with me taking myself for a little "solo" ride after our trysts, but thought maybe I could be more generous with him. Plus I was becoming more and more curious about what might come next. I did know I did not want to dive in with both feet. I was just not ready for a full "intimate" serious relationship yet. Plus, it wasn't that kind of love; I mean I loved him as a friend but didn't want to take it any farther, It feels funny to say in this context, but I guess "I'm just not that kind of girl" - LOL -that's not usually something a BJ Queen would say, but as I said before - I'm not a slut! (Unless I am in a relationship, in which case I am totally willing to be a slut!)

I guess I should mention now that it never evolved into real dick-pussy stuff because of my career hopes. Don't think I wasn't curious, but I've got some plans for the future. I'm a singer-songwriter. Not a shitty little waif covering the latest pop radio styles in a wimpy baby-girl mew, but someone who is taking it to the next level with strong vocals, guitar, piano and songwriting. Think Juliana Hatfield or Alanis Morrissette. I've always been serious about this and noted for my writing in the local and regional music press. I've won numerous awards and contests. During the time period I'm describing here, I knew I wanted to go for it - and going for it in the music business means not getting tied down to a guy, or especially a baby. I had done well and learned to write in high school, and I could really start to pursue this seriously as a college girl; that had never been possible as a high-schooler. But I wanted to be really careful; seeing a friend go through a pregnancy scare certainly "scared me straight", so to speak. I'd never heard of anyone getting pregnant from jerking guys off or swallowing cum however, so here we are

So anyway, eventually his dick came out of his pants (haha, ok, so I took it out!), and I would kinda gently massage it until - well, you know what would happen next, At first, being shy, he was actually kinda embarrassed about the whole "shooting his load" business, but I would just smile knowing I was "doing my part". I remember at first, I just kinda enjoyed making him feel good, but as time went on, I became more intrigued and curious with what I was dealing with - it wasn't a "monster cock" (what a stupid name - only a guy would come up with something like that!) It was just your average garden variety cock, but it was the inherent beauty of the design of the thing; smooth and soft in some places, rigid and with pronounced features in others and capped by this beautiful crown so perfectly shaped for its purpose of slipping into a warm, wet pussy. SO beautiful.

But then came the revelation that got me hooked; I saw that how I rubbed and interacted with this thing of beauty caused all kinds of interesting reactions; from Dean, in the form of oohs and aah and moans, but then also IN ME, and I'm not just talking about the sopping wet pussy I always ended up with. I realized that I could make someone else feel so wonderful; to see a guy slip into another world of peace and joy and surrender. It's not so much only a control thing for me, but the knowledge that I have such a beautiful gift to give - it made me feel so kind and generous - and I guess, a little powerful.

My enthusiasm and all those good feelings caused me to get really good at dick stuff really fast. I was just so into it (still am). I quickly learned that certain moves made his already hard dick swell even more and then when he was ready to lose it, his balls would contract and the head of his dick would leak a bit, and his face would show sheer bliss. Not many things on earth more beautiful than that! The more I experimented and observed, the more I wanted to know and experiment even further!

It got to the point where I was really looking forward to our daily make-out session, followed by my daily dick-exploration which always ended with Dean having a chest splattered with his own cum! I looked forward to trying something new every day, stroking really fast, or alternating between fast and slow, I would focus on just the end of his cock or the sensitive area on the underside of the shaft. It didn't take long for me to discover "edging", although I didn't know what it was called at the time - all I knew is that if I brought him to near-climax, and then backed off a few times, when I finally did push him over the edge - the look on his face told me he was experiencing something very special, and releasing in an especially deep way - and I'm the one who'd made it happen!.

Dean was obviously enjoying all the free handjobs, but it started to kinda bother him. He thought maybe HE was the selfish one. He started saying things like "maybe we should go out on some dates" and stuff like that. I guess he thought if we were "having sex" we should be a couple (although I didn't think of it as having sex, just me doing him a favor while also experimenting and having fun, and I guess, kinda practicing for when I was in a "real" relationship). I told him a few times that I really didn't want that, and if he was uncomfortable with how it was, we could just go back to kissing and making out, or even to just being "hang-out" friends. He couldn't spit out "no, its cool, its cool, lets just keep going like we are" fast enough, LOL.

He then started to try rubbing my pussy - first over my shorts and then slipping his hand into my panties, Eventually his fingers made their way to my warm by--then soaking wet pussy lips, but I explained that things are different for ladies and that if we went that route, I might start getting a little TOO horny, or worse yet develop real feelings that might lead us into a relationship just for the sex. That might not last and then we would lose that and the friendship. Plus, as mentioned, I just was not ready to dive that deep into my own sexuality, and quite frankly, to opt for fucking a guy. My plans for music and the future were just more important that a little temporary gratification. Glad I waited, by the way.

Well he certainly didn't want to give up the daily handjobs (who would?) so eventually he got comfortable with the idea that sometimes fun sexy stuff can be just that, without there needing to be anything more serious or reciprocal about it (as long as it's voluntary for everyone).

His relaxing attitude caused me to relax a ton as well, and that unleashed my curiosity even more. Until then it was all "handjobs". Once I figured out that this was just for fun, and that I was free to safely play around with his beautiful cock as I pleased, I began to wonder what would happen if I started using my mouth, lips and tongue to stimulate him in even more ways.

That's kinda when I got "addicted". Not really, but kinda, My hands could only do so much, but adding my lips, tongue, rubbing his cock on my face, too? Oh my. I must have some kinda oral fixation from childhood or something because I just LOOOOVVVED the way using my mouth made me feel inside. It wasn't a sex "orgasm-ey" release kind of feeling, it just made me feel warm and snug inside, happy and emotionally comfortable. It probably sounds more dramatic than it really is, but I kinda began "worshiping' his cock. Wow - feels weird to say that, but that's kinda what happened.

Well, you can just guess what Dean thought about this development; I mean, what guy wouldn't want a curious cutie--pie like me working his dick with her mouth on a daily basis with no strings attached?

So it just became a real "thing" for us.. We were both pretty bored with other people our age; fun to hang with, but no-one really into getting a little experimental or edgy.

Sometimes we'd go slow and easy with lots of yummy mouth kissing and pussy-rubbing as a warm-up, and sometimes I'd just push him onto his back, pull it out and quickly work my magic, All the experience had gotten me to the point that I was a master of dick. If I wanted to, I could drag him along with 5 hours of edging, or make him go over the top in thirty seconds if we didn't have much time. He was totally under my control in that way. I'd sometimes surprise him by popping my head in when he was in the shower, and giving him a quick suck-off, or pulling his dick out and licking him while he was driving.

I know what you're wondering about, so I'll just say it; sometimes he'd come in my mouth and I'd swallow, or drool it onto my tits for a laugh. Sometimes I'd pull his cock out just in time, and aim it at my face or tits (my shirt and bra had started coming off occasionally by this time).

So here's the point where you are saying "well, so what? That doesn't make you a blowjob queen, you're just a gal having a little fun with a "f.w.b" before college".

Well yes and no....Around this time things got really interesting. Dean's buddy Stevie would often hang around in the evenings after work with us. Stevie had graduated the previous year, so he was a little older, but he and Dean had become quick friends as they both played high school sports together, and were both a bit on the shy side. He is a nice guy, but a little distant emotionally, and maybe a little immature for his age.

I gotta tell you though, he is one fucking great looking guy, if Im being totally honest. I got the feeling he might have enjoyed more "guy time" without a dumb girl (me) hanging around. Eventually, he warmed up a tad and we ended up spending a good amount of time together. He had a girlfriend Robyn, who I had kinda known from playing soccer together and really liked, and the two of them had discovered sex and were fucking each other silly on a regular basis. Also, I think they were a good match, and really into each other; I suspect they may even get married some day, and I think they'll be a great couple. BTW, she knew me, and apparently was totally cool with him hanging with me.

According to Stevie however, she had a few hang-ups, which really surprised me. I remembered her being so laid back about stuff previously. It also kinda surprised me when he started talking openly about their sex life; but I guess by that time, I was "one of the guys" to him. I did love it though. Hearing him describing their fuck life - you gotta remember, these were two amazing looking human specimens, both prior athletes in addition to winning the genetic lottery for looks. Now that was a fun thing to visualize! Also, being included in "guy talk" made me feel a little like a naughty voyeuristic eavesdropper, and I kinda liked feeling a little slutty in that way.

Anyway, so Robyn apparently developed some kind of annoying, but not serious "lady problem" down there, and so the fucking had to be put on hold for a while. This, I guess, became a little frustrating for Stevie. So Dean asks him one day, "so, if the twat's off limits (ewwww-cringe! Really? Twat?), why doesn't she just blow you instead? Stevie replied "she won't do it". Dean and I glanced at each other. "What?, really?" Was Deans response. "Yeah, she says it seems gross and kinda unnatural. I'm not sure I believe her. I think she just doesn't like it or want to do it, cuz she's a "nice girl", not a slut". Serves me right for going out with a nice girl. She sure does like fucking, tho, so I'm totally confused".. Again Dean and I gave each other a little "whoa - wtf?" kind of look. "Besides..." he continued, "everyone knows chicks aren't really into blowing, except for slutty ones. Nice girls might do it, but they just grin and bear it to get gifts and stuff out of a guy". At this point I didn't dare look at Dean, nor he at me, cuz if our eyes met, we'd both break out laughing, given my love of sucking dick... We just kept our mouths shut - for the time being.......

Later, when I was alone with Dean, I asked him - "what's with that "girls don't like it" business?" It really hadn't occurred to me that some might not, because I LOOOVED it, and really couldn't imagine a girl not into as much as I was, especially with a hottie like Stevie. "I dunno...." was his reply. "I've known Robyn for a long time. She's pretty cool, and DEFINITELY hot, but I think she just does it to kinda control him, maybe?". Thinking about how gorgeous Stevey was, I surprised myself when I suddenly kinda blurted out "I'd be all over that dick, if it were me!" Dean gave me comedic exaggerated "oh, really?!?" look and we both burst out laughing. I could feel my face blushing pretty dramatically. Even tho I was sucking him off regularly, I guess I still had some shyness in me.

We kept hanging out and Stevie kept coming back around to " I just don't get why girls aren't into it" over and over again. I guess he was processing it and trying to figure it out. Dean and I would just give each other a knowing shared glance and not say anything. After all, I was still "servicing" him for my own fun on an almost daily basis and still loving it.

Finally, one day, I'd kinda had it. "Look", I said to Stevie, "not every girl is a prude; some girls just love sucking dick for the fun of it...even some "nice girls". "Well. I'd sure like to meet one" he replied. I was about to leave it at that, but my little inner whore spoke up; "Well, you already have...". I was shocked to hear the words come out of my mouth. "ME!!!" I expected gasps of surprise form Stevie. Instead he laughed. "That's what I love about you.-- you're always kidding around like one of the guys!" I glanced over at Dean - I read the "uh-uh, what the fuck is happening here" expression on his face.

Stevie continued: "That's such a laugh; you're so innocent, I doubt you've ever even French kissed a guy!" Hearing that, I realized that Dean hadn't let on about our playing around - even to his best friend. It made me really happy that he cared about, and respected me like that (there are good guys in the world!). My next thought however, was a little more complicated; you see, I'm really proud of the fact that in my music, I am always really honest about stuff (again, think Alanis Morrissette), so I had a decision to make here - keep quiet or expose my truth.

While they were chatting further, Dean still not sure which way this was going, I weighed my options. If I kept quiet, it might eventually come out that I had been sucking Dean's dick all along as a FWB, and it would be obvious that I had been less than fully honest. If I spoke up - well, would that make me a full blown whore? -- bragging about my exploits?

"Hey uh- Stevie -- I gotta get real with you".. His face read "uh-oh". Dean's read "omg - she's gonna do it".

I continued; "Most girls are just curious, like most guys are". His expression encouraged me to go on.. "The world of women isn't divided into saints and sluts; every girl has a little saint AND a little bit of slut in her, but a little bit of slut doesn't make a girl a slut". I could tell that neither guy had ever had a woman get real with them in this way before. They knew they were getting some solid information that most men never hear directly.

"It's true" I continued. "Right now, I really love sucking cock, because it makes me feel good to make someone else feel good, and I'm not ready for more right now, and that's ok. I like it because I like it, not because I'm a slut -- although I might be one in the right circumstance...". I couldn't help punctuating that last comment with a sexy wink at Stevie. I saw the immediate change in his expression - I recognized the look - I now had him moving to that special level of intrigue. I had recognized that same look in Dean's face before. "But...what?...,I mean I don't ever remember you going steady with, or even dating anyone...how....when??" Stevie was clearly confused. "Um, that parts a little complicated, as they say". I looked over at Dean and smiled and he gave me an amused smile back.

I hadn't realized it, but I had slowly begun moving closer to Dean, while keeping eyes locked with Stevie. Although I really would have liked to, I obviously couldn't suck this horny hottie off - would that be fair to Robyn? But maybe I could bring some joy to his life some other way. I dropped to my knees in front of Dean and started rubbing my hands on his thighs thru his jeans. My eyes were still locked with Stevies', who was now really intrigued, and I think starting to feel a little horny because of all the candid talk and my revelation. Then my hand slowly moved up to Dean's cock, which I was not surprised to find was getting a little hard under his jeans.