by FINC
it looks like you've mixed the characters of Vale and Candy more than only once - this is a bid confusing for the reader. Other than that it's a good read - keep it up!
There are some great ideas here, though this probably needed more editing.
Real good writing and story contiuity, a little choppy but a real great take on B sci-fi movies to the next leve.
Real good writing and story contiuity, a little choppy but a real great take on B sci-fi movies to the next leve.
I enjoyed your story and can't wait for the next installment. It was slightly confusing at times because of the constant jumping you did. Good job though