Back of Bourke

'Nup,' Westie shook his head.

'Like this,' Kerry said, sucking on a finger as she pulled it out of her mouth. 'That's what Evie was doing. One of these guys looked at her and said 'I can give you something bigger than that to suck on, if you want', and Evie just froze in absolute shock. I'm not going to lie, Westie, I started to think that it was going to be a very long night.

Thankfully -- and you'll laugh at this -- Evie managed to regain her composure and said 'thanks, I'll let you know if I want to take you up on that offer later on' in her best student teacher voice. The boys laughed, and I began to think that maybe things wouldn't be so bad.'

Westie, Kerry and I laughed. I could still remember my heart-stopping fear that I'd made an almighty mistake by tagging along, and the relief I felt when I somehow managed to respond to the crude comment.

'The boys asked us if we wanted a drink, and I said 'sure',' Kerry said. 'Normally I like to scout out the talent before committing to anything like that, but as I said, I was feeling homesick, and I was a bit concerned about Evie. And neither of these men were awful. They were like me; they'd come to Brisbane to study, so we had a bit to chat about.'

'How'd you find this?' Westie asked me.

'It was okay,' I replied. 'At least they wore jeans that fit them properly, and they had their shirts on.'

'The evening went on,' Kerry said. 'We watched a band. Drank. Drank some more. I'm drunk, these men are hammered, and Evie can barely stand up. It was a good night, a really good atmosphere, and the only thing I was wondering about was who I'd be fucking, and who Evie would be fucking. The boys...'

'...Darryl and Simon,' I interrupted helpfully.

'Darryl and Simon,' Kerry said. 'Both wanted to fuck both of us, but they were brothers, so they were being careful about not insulting the other by laying claim to the woman that the other might secretly want. I suppose they figured we girls would let them know who was going to be going with who.

Sometime around midnight, the four of us were getting very touchy-feely. We decided to go back to our utes and get up to some nonsense. All was fine, except for on way back to the ute, Simon...'

'...Darryl.'

'Darryl,' Kerry said with a wave of her hand. 'Darryl and Evie were talking about where they were from, and Darryl told her he was from the back of Bourke. Well, Evie was drunk, and she thought he was making fun of her. She told him to tell her where he was really from, and she promised she wouldn't become a crazy stalker when he told her, she just wanted to know.

'Darryl was going crazy trying to convince her he was telling the truth, but Evie was adamant. She turned to him and said unless he provided her proof of his address, she wouldn't be sleeping with him. Darryl started laughing and said that if she agreed to sleep with him, he'd not only tell her, he'll show her. Evie, being the drunk idiot that she was, agreed.'

'How was the sex?' Westie asked me.

'Oh, I was sick,' I replied, going green at the memory. 'I ended up asking him to get off five minutes into it so I could get up and vomit.'

'She was good by the next morning,' Kerry told Westie. 'And Darryl remembered his promise. He said that if she wanted to see where he came from, he'd show her. It was term break, so we didn't have classes and we'd all finished with our exams, so there was no reason for any of us to rush back to Brisbane. The next thing I knew, we were on our way to Bourke.'

'It should have only been a two day trip to Bourke and back, but when we got there, the boys lied and told their parents we were their girlfriends, so we'd have an excuse to hang around,' I added. 'I didn't mind. They were good fun. Kerry and I would swap the men between us, each taking Darryl one day and Simon the next.'

'They were mad cunts,' Kerry agreed. 'Cured my homesickness, that's for sure.'

Westie laughed. 'Lucky guys.'

We continued the drive into Brisbane.

'What about you?' I asked Westie. 'What's the craziest thing you've done?'

Westie shrugged helplessly. 'Nothing that interesting.'

'That's not true; you fucked a mother and daughter in one night,' Kerry argued. She turned to me. 'I was there to witness it. Mum was about forty, the daughter was eighteen.'

'Wow,' I remarked. 'Westie, did you cum both times?'

'Sure did,' he agreed. 'Neither were that great, though.'

'Gorgeous, though,' Kerry said.

'That's true,' Westie agreed.

The conversation turned to more run of the mill topics as we drove into Brisbane. I sang along to Westie's Spotify playlist, enjoying his music selections as much as I knew Kerry was hating them.

Westie and were belting along to Cradle of Love when we pulled into a car park and found a space. He left the ignition on so we could continue singing, and when the song finally ended, he and I were both disappointed.

Kerry was jubilant.

'Don't know what the fuck that was, but I don't need to hear it again,' she remarked, getting out of the car. 'Let's go find some cock.'

'We'll find some country music for you on the way back,' Westie teased her. 'Maybe some Billy Ray Cyrus.'

'Urgh, I hate him,' I complained. 'Can we do Kenny Rogers? I like 'The Gambler'.'

'On a warm summer's evening,' Westie sang.

'On a train bound for nowhere,' I joined in.

'I met up with a gambler; we were both too tired too sleep,' Westie and I sang in harmony.

Or, rather, disharmony. Neither of us could sing. Kerry told us we were an embarrassment and walked away, to which Westie just laughed as he picked me up and ran after her. I squealed in surprise and clung to him, hoping against hope that my dress hadn't risen up too high and I wasn't exposing myself.

'Oh God,' Kerry remarked, stopping and staring at us. 'Westie, put her down. Both of you, behave.'

Westie gently put me on my feet and helped pull my dress down so that it was sitting where it should. My heart thumped not just from the surprise of being picked up, but because of his proximity. I just wanted to bury my face in his neck and smell him, before kissing him, stripping his clothes off, and fucking him senseless.

Westie gave me a small, private smile, and I realised he wanted to fuck me just as much as I wanted to fuck him.

Kerry also realised what was going on.

'No, no, no,' she exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from her friend.

I nearly stumbled in my heels.

'What?' I asked, feigning innocence, as I caught my balance.

'No,' she said slowly and clearly. She turned around to face Westie. 'No to you, too, buddy. Evie's supposed to be letting loose and learning how to flirt. Stop trying to seduce her.'

Westie had the good grace to look apologetic, while I went red with embarrassment. Kerry wasn't offended; she just shook her head at us as if we were naughty children and led us out of the carpark and along the main entertainment strips.

'Evie, I think we need to set you a challenge again,' Kerry said. 'Something to keep you occupied, so Westie doesn't try and play hide the sausage with you.'

'Okay,' I agreed. 'What would you like me to do? Try and get a man's phone number?'

Kerry snorted. 'Why the fuck would you want that?'

'I don't know,' I admitted. 'I just thought... never mind.'

'I'd give you my number,' Westie offered.

I grinned at him. 'Your number or your sausage?'

'Both.'

'Westie,' Kerry hissed. 'You're a serial fucking pain in the arse. This is why I don't go out with you.'

Westie laughed. 'Sorry Kerry. Continue on. Set Evie her task.'

As we walked down Wickham Street, Kerry considered her options. She was obviously putting a great deal of thought into this because she ignored the interested stares of a young Maori bloke, and Kerry's normally partial to a bit of Islander cock.

'I know,' she said eventually. 'I want you to kiss -- at the absolute minimum -- someone who you would normally never dream of kissing, fucking, whatever. A tourist who can barely speak English. A man who's five foot two.'

'A woman?' Westie interjected.

'In your dreams,' Kerry snorted.

Westie laughed.

'Okay,' I said. 'You have a deal. Someone I'd never otherwise dream of being with.'

We passed a twenty-four hour convenience store and Westie said he needed to buy cigarettes. I was about to follow him in when Kerry informed me that she wanted to talk to me while Westie was purchasing his smokes.

When Westie was safely inside, Kerry crossed her arms over her ample chest and waited for me to start speaking.

'Sorry,' I apologised. 'It's just that he's kind of cute.'

'Cute? He's got a head like a beaten favourite.'

'He smells nice,' I offered. 'Besides, you slept with him.'

'I wanted to see if he was a good fuck.'

'Is he?'

'I'd rate him in the top thirty, forty percent. He has amazing orgasm control. He can hold out for you to cum if you're taking a while, but if you're done quickly and want him to finish up, he can manage that, too.' Kerry grimaced. 'The only thing I really fault him on is not finishing in your mouth when you're blowing him.'

'I would have thought that raised his score,' I said.

'I like swallowing.'

'I'm happy for you. I can never swallow quickly enough and jizz always ends up getting everywhere. I didn't half mind Ciaran pulling out and wanking on the floor. It saved my make-up from getting completely messed up.'

'Ciaran,' Kerry said with a laugh.

'What?'

'I just find it funny that you remember his name.'

A group of women in their forties, all wearing tight, revealing clothes and too much make-up, brushed past us and inside the convenience store. Cougars out on the prowl. They had that slightly drunk, raucous, bawdy air to them, and I stared at them with interest as they descended upon the cramped aisles of the 7-Eleven.

Through the glass doors I saw one of the women start talking to Westie as he paid for his smokes. Whatever she said, it made Westie laugh, and before I knew it, the group of women and he were having a grand old time together. I didn't need to hear what they were saying to know they were flirting.

Kerry had also been observing the scene. She obviously sensed the women were greatly interested in Westie, and rather than feeling hurt like I was, she seemed to see the gaggle of cougars as a lucky break.

'Let's go,' she said. 'If Westie doesn't manage to fuck at least one of those sluts, then he's seriously dropped his game.'

'But he might not want...'

'...Evie,' Kerry said firmly. 'We're going. He can call us if he needs to find us. You and I are going to a pub, and you are going to talk to a man you normally wouldn't.'

I let out a disappointed sigh. I glanced inside the convenience store. Westie had his arm around a well preserved brunette in her late forties and was whispering something into her ear. His paramour was wearing tight jeans and an even tighter v-neck shirt which revealed some impressive cleavage, and her body language basically screamed 'fuck me, I'm yours'.

'Okay,' I said. 'Let's go.'

'That's my girl,' Kerry said encouragingly. 'Don't get disheartened. I know you're fond of Westie, but he'll be there tomorrow if you still want him. The others won't be.'

As we walked towards our destination, we passed a strip club. Out the front a door girl in a skimpy outfit of lycra shorts, crop top and platform boots was trying to entice two young men to pay the cover charge. There was something aggressive in the behaviour of the woman and the men. They were sparring with one another, challenging the other to give in.

How different the door bitch was to Kerry. Kerry adored men. When she spoke to them, her face lit up, and when she fucked them, she did it because she loved feeling their pricks inside her. No wonder men went crazy for her. What a sad fucking alternative a stripper must be.

'Love to know what you're thinking,' Kerry said.

'Nothing important,' I replied. 'I was just thinking about what a good friend you are, and how well you know men.'

'As a rule I prefer men to women,' she said. 'There's so much less bullshit.'

'I hope you still like me.'

'You're one of my few exceptions,' she agreed. 'You've always been good to me, Evie, and you've never made fun of my boyfriends.'

'I wasn't anywhere near as good a friend as I should have been,' I confessed. 'I'm sorry.'

'All in the past,' she said. 'I'm glad you've got rid of that pathetic little cunt. You'll have to have dinner with Linus and I sometime soon.'

I smiled as I thought about Linus.

'Linus is crazy about you, isn't he?' I asked.

'Hah, he is, the silly idiot,' Kerry agreed, a smile on her face. 'I love him to bits. Did I ever tell you about the first time I took him back home?'

'No. What happened?'

'He was shitting himself the whole journey. It didn't help things when I had to overtake a road train. He'd never seen one before.'

I laughed. 'I hadn't, either, before you took me home for Christmas that time.'

Kerry grinned. 'You poor innocent suckers. Now you know how I felt the first time I had to drive in the Brisbane CBD area.'

'Nobody likes driving in the CBD. It's all those stupid one way streets. At least it's not Melbourne.' I shuddered. 'Imagine having to deal with trams and hook turns? Not thanks. Now, tell me about taking Linus home. Did your parents like him?'

'Dad loved him. I had to keep an eye on Linus in the mornings, otherwise Dad would take him out to teach him about cattle farming. I was worried about how they'd get on, but as it turned out, they were both happy to play blackjack all evening while Dad lectured Linus on historical dressed and live weight prices. My husband now knows more about cattle than I do.'

I giggled. 'That's hilarious.'

'Anyway, Dad ends up so enamoured with him that he becomes convinced that he can get this useless little city boy to move to Julia Creek and run the farm with him. Mum ended up getting shit-faced drunk and yelling at Dad that perhaps all those years he spent at medical school might just mean that he wants to be a doctor and not a farmer.'

'Did your Dad calm down after that?'

'He did,' she said. 'It's still kind of sweet how well they get on. We went home for a week a few months back, and I left Dad and Linus to play cards together while I went out and fucked a backpacker who was working on a nearby farm. This backpacker hadn't managed to score for weeks, and he was horny. He fucked me and then he let me suck him.'

Kerry's face was alight with mischief as she finished recounting the tale. 'When I came back home Linus and Dad were still playing blackjack, so I went up and gave Linus a bit, wet kiss so he could taste the jizz on my tongue. You should have seen the expression on Linnie's face. I'd told him I was meeting up with an old girlfriend, but the moment he tasted cum he knew what I'd really been up to. He lost the next three games he was so excited.'

'Holy shit.'

'It was great,' she said. 'Linnie loved it.'

'Do you ever feel obliged to fuck strangers just to make him happy?' I asked.

'Oh no,' Kerry shook her head. 'If I don't feel like straying, I don't. Linus never asks for anything I'm not ready to give, because the dry patches make the wet ones all the more exciting.'

We'd reached the pub that Kerry wanted to visit, but just as we were walking in, a group of men walked out. One of the men saw Kerry and called out her name.

Kerry's face lit up when she saw the man calling her name, and she went over to give him a hug. Over the course of the next few minutes it became clear that the man was out on his buck's night, and he and his mates were on their way to a strip joint. They asked if Kerry and I wanted to tag along.

'I will,' Kerry said. 'Evie isn't a fan of strip clubs, though, so I might just leave her here for a bit.'

I hadn't ever voiced an opinion on strip clubs, so it was pretty obvious that Kerry simply wanted to part ways with me. I presumed it was so that she could hook up with the men on her own.

The guys were uncertain about leaving me on my own, but Kerry assured them that I was fine, and I promised them that I was. I made up a lie about meeting up with some other girls I knew who were out on the town, and that reassured them.

Kerry leant in to hug me.

'Remember your challenge,' she told me. 'You can do it. If you need me, or run into trouble, call me.'

'Okay,' I said. 'I will.'

Kerry and the men headed off down the road.

Oh shit, I thought. Shit, shit, shit.

~~~~~~~~~~

I felt stupid and awkward, but I forced myself to walk into the pub. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, then headed to the bar.

There was a good crowd and a band was playing. I tried not to stare at anyone as I waited in line to buy my drink. How in fuck's name was I going to meet Kerry's challenge of kissing -- at a minimum -- a man who wouldn't ordinarily be my type? I could barely look anyone in the eye.

I ordered a rum and diet Coke. As the bartender handed me my drink and my change, I saw that there was seating at one end of the bar, and that one of the stools was free. I nervously tottered over and during the brief break between songs, asked the man sitting alongside the vacant seat if the stool was indeed free, or if he was waiting for a friend to return.

'It's all free, love,' he said.

He was in his late fifties and dressed very nicely in jeans and a blue and white checked shirt. His hair had thinned and gone grey with age, but he had a good, solid jaw and all of his own teeth. He was tall and lean, and his tanned arms were covered in thick, blonde hair. All in all, he seemed quite out of place in a Fortitude Valley pub at eleven thirty on a Saturday night.

The man also seemed quite friendly, so I decided to strike up a conversation in order to calm my nerves.

'Are you out with friends?' I asked.

'It's my son's buck's night,' he said. 'He and his mates have decided to head to a strip club, but women need to be in their thirties, at a minimum, before I find them attractive, so I thought I might just finish my beer and head back to my hotel for a kip.'

'The strippers are too young for you?' I asked with a smile.

'Very much so,' he agreed, chuckling.

'I'm Evie,' I introduced.

'Frank,' he said. 'I'm from....'

I didn't hear where it was he was from, because the band started playing again and his words were lost in the noise. I smiled and nodded at him and sipped my drink, wondering if perhaps it was his son who Kerry had met up with on the steps of the pub. Maybe, maybe not. This was a popular area for buck's nights, and I'd seen one or two others on the short journey from the car park to the pub.

Frank gestured for me to lean close to him.

'What are you doing out here tonight?' he asked in a friendly, conversational way.

'Out with friends,' I said loudly, so that he could hear me over the music. 'One's off buying cigarettes and having a smoke, the other has run into some other friends of hers. I thought I'd come in here and have a drink.'

'Boyfriend?'

I shook my head. 'No. You?'

'Widowed.'

'I'm sorry to hear that.'

He shrugged awkwardly. He finished his beer, then turned to me and gestured to the band.

'Want to dance?' he asked.

'I can't dance.'

'I'll teach you.'

'I'll step on your feet,' I warned him.

He laughed. 'No problems.'

We went to the dance floor. I was a little bit concerned that either I was going to make an idiot of myself, or he was going to hit on me, but neither happened. Okay, well, I might have made a bit of an idiot of myself, but I was mostly sober and many of the others on the dancefloor were not.

Frank was a fabulous dancer and he had a serious amount of stamina. I had a fabulous time, but by the time the band broke half an hour later, I was ready for a break. He led me to the bar and asked me what I wanted to drink.