All Comments on 'Bad Day'

Well done that was fantastic story there was little things wrong but hey I don’t care . The story was just well written and yes we all have bad days lol 😂. You have got an amazing talent especially for these types of stories. You should be proud of what you have written because you are going to get a lot of likes . And you lived up to the challenge of the loving wife category. That is what why you should be proud of yourself because you are now one of a few talented writers . That can write a story in the loving wife category and not have to rely another category to help them write a story. When a writer that decides to write in the loving wife category then has to use another category it starts to show how poor the writer’s are . But you took the challenge and showed how to write a fantastic story and not have to rely on another category. So well done and keep writing these fantastic stories please.

Good story, thanks for posting it.

She set him up to take the fall. She. Set. Him. Up! Sweet Jebus! Why is he still with her? How long before he has a fatal accident and the beneficiary of his life insurance policy is Willow? No wonder her husband cheats on her and ran away....he was probably running for his life because she would have set up her husband as well!

It got boring quick.

Very good but I would have liked to have heard her explain why she did it and why she would have left him penniless. She didn't even leave a note. 4 stars.

How did Willow get hold of HIS rifle? How did Willow know where he parked at the airport and how to get the spare key for HIS car? If she only found out or, at least, raised the cheating issue with her husband, on the morning of that fateful day, how did she have time to plan it all? She said she didn't know who her husband was having an affair with, so when did she actually find out and why didn't she tell the main guy (his name is seldom mentioned) about it?

Not a terrible STORY but a mile wide gap. We didn't hear the wife's STORY.

Interesting story and fairly well written. Could have been better with an editor and proof reader. However, there were enough things that didn't make sense in the plot to keep me from giving it full marks.

4 stars.

Problem with fiction is that reader has to feel with one of main characters in order to like the story.

Most writers forger that.

You created guy who is so un-liked that I wish that I can go to his universe just so I can take his rifle and shoot him myself.

PS: please remember, it would be for benefit of that community.

though with some holes.

How did Willow know about his rifle? How did she get it and how did she know where his car was?:

Also, why did she try to frame him?

Continuity error: He placed the rifle against the wall INSIDE the house, so how did the Police see it from the outside?

A Gunshot Residue test should show that he didn't fire the gun.

Since the witness at the motel said that a WOMAN was shooting at the truck, why is he under suspicion, other than being the husband, of course.

"I'd be fired on the spot for using it for my own purposes." - Even in a documented emergency that he will repay?

Contradiction: "Once inside, Willow had a chance to tell them in detail what had happened or at least what she knew of the proceedings," then: "I had wondered why we'd not talked inside at the time." There's no indication of a delay, they talked "once inside."

So what was Willow's response to Annie's request. Obviously no to taking her back, I assume yes to him taking the baby (assuming Annie would give her up), but is she offering to take Annie into their home?!

My bad, I didn't catch that "Didn't shoot to kill" was her response. I DID think that she was the shooter.

a dna test would be in order.

Not sure how long you have been writing but this story is not good. Too choppy. No clear rhythm. Get a good editor.

I can't see it ending well after it, Willow stole his car, stole his rifle, tried to kill his now ex-wife and he nearly ended in jail because of it.

A lot was left unexplained and the ending was rushed.

Another laugh-a-minute tale today - wow - thanks for sharing this with us.

5/5 for the laughs alone

. . . but still good.

Cute. Imaginative. Thanks.

I thought it was going to be just a bad day tale, but then it went from amusing to down right interesting. I suspected she was the shooter, but still fun to confirm. Somehow, I do not think reconciliation is in the cards.

Yeah, have had a travel day or two like that.

Minus the cheating wife.

Decent tale

Why would you marry the woman who tried to set you up to take the fall for the shooting?

This depressing tale should be in Non Erotic

I was hoping for more.

But enjoyed our hero's long litany of woes!

Nice reveal though.

Different, but enjoyable. I gave it 4 stars.

Be an interesting life from now on.

Thanks!

Definitely belongs in the 'Loving Wives' category.

Much thanks.

It was, indeed, a very bad day. For several people. Entertaining day. But leaving an open ending didn't help. What happened with the baby? Was it really his child? Did he take it? Does he NOT marry Willow, the shooter, and waits for his wife? Too many unanswered questions.

3 stars

Great last line but figured it was her

How did she get the car from the airport?

I enjoyed that. I've had some bad days, but not that bad. Daddy sounds good on him.

I like Willow... thats the kind of woman we all need to journey thru life with

"Why would you marry the woman who tried to set you up to take the fall for the shooting?"

Because she knew he would be cleared of course.

I don't know what this is... perhaps a newspaper article of an event in Gotham City? What little dialogue there is, reads like it was composed by a fourth grader. There's no emotion and no character development. Altogether, this... whatever it is... should be passed by.

YAWN, gave up after about 4 paragraphs.

This was a really good story. The ending was telegraphed, but I still enjoyed getting there. I'm glad she didn't shoot to kill too.

The story has a big hole,why would he be with her if she tried to set him up? She lied to him then when she told him she didn't know who it was until she met him, bc otherwise how would she know to use his gun (and how did she even get it???). You can't argue she knew he had an alibi,that would even be more far-fetched. Would have been better if the gun and car were not involved,if she shot at them and ditched whatever gun it was and stole another car. The only conclusion is she wanted him to go down for it......so why would he want to be with her?

The confrontation with the wife was crappy,too, there is the big reveal, but she never apologized or have him any reason to forgive her. Too,would he believe that it was his? I realize the abrupt end with Willow was meant to be the clever twIist, but honestly it ruined the story,bc the situation with his wife made it fall flat. And yes,I realize this is a cutesy,artsy 'open ended story', will he stay with Willow (I wouldn't) , and is the baby his? I am like FTDS used to be,finish the damn story and don't rely on lady and the tiger endings.

Yes, you claimed great emotions, you just failed to demonstrate any. Really kind of absurd, no? His wife goes from loving loyal partner to adulterous conniving thief, and the husband sees no change in her personality, her behavior and demeanor, her work and personal habits and actions? With such a shallow tepid distant relationship they could hardly be considered married? And Willow is supposed to be this wonderful wholesome homebody, who continues a relationship with a cheating asshole and marries him?

And you end it not with Willow voicing some opinion of his supposed child being carried by his lying ex wife, but her pointless admission that she was the assailant at the hotel. And she's an experienced police officer?

Ridiculous.

1* Plot has more holes than Swiss cheese plus a total lack of logic. There are numerous errors including incomplete sentences. Editor!!!!

No explanation for how Willow got his spare car keys, and the court would not finalize a divorce while the spouse is pregnant.

Thank you everyone for the feedback, it is much appreciated.

I'd also ask you to consider which day was the bad day. The one when everything unravelled or the one when he realised Willow had a part in it.

So Willow, set him up to take the fall. After the MC, she would have been suspect #1. Airports video parking areas and entrance / exits. Hard to believe she had an ironclad alibi.

Everything is far too convenient. For me, the better conclusion would be the MC was in on it all and Peter was actually his kid.

How does a car accident delay him an hour, but a shooting in an airport allow him to get home 6 hours early??? They would have shut down the airport.

Just be glad this is pre-corona virus.

That was one seriously bad day. Good outcome though..... almost. Willow's a bit scary!

I'll never complain about a Bad Day, ever, ever, again!

GA

Ouch 😱.

Poorly plotted story. Unemotional, mechanical writer's style.

These issues and more, made this story tedious. Yes, I kept scrolling ahead looking for the end.

😀🔚 Yes ❗Definitely this is a a bad day ‼️

HA, HA, ha, ha...........

AMerryman

Why take the word of a lying, cheating, thieving slut? Sounds like she's been fucking the good doctor as much as him. Better chance that Zach is the kids father. I can't imagine how Willow would encourage him to be subjected to that cunts presence.

Why did he not sue the police for wrongful arrest.?

I was awakened by a phone call from the local Sheriff's Office. The gist of the conversation was that another Sheriff's Office had finally updated their records and they found a speeding ticket on me that their records showed had not been paid in seven years. The local Sheriff's Office had been asked to pick me up and bring me to their office to discuss it. I kissed my wife and drove to the local Sheriff's Office. All I did was to walk in and tell a female deputy who I was. A male deputy came into the office and unceremoniously handcuffed me and took me out to a cruiser. We drove in silence to the Parish line, where I was told to get out and walk across the Parish line to a waiting police cruiser from the other Parish Sheriff's Office. Again, in silence I was taken to the second Sheriff's Office. During the interrogation I was informed that seven years ago, I had been stopped for speeding in a hospital zone. I had been driving a silver Chevy and gave the officer my driver's license. They did not show me a copy of the ticket. Then a bell went off in my head. How could I have gotten a ticket in Louisiana when I was stationed at Fort Ord, California, going through Basic Training. Recruits do not get enough time off during Basic Training to go from California to Louisiana and back again. Then I asked about the car I was reportedly been driving. I told them I had never owned a silver Chevy in my lifetime. I asked if they checked the license plate number to check who owned the car. No response from the officers doing the questioning. I was ushered into a cell with a steel bed (with no mattress) and too short to accommodate my 6 foot 4 inch frame. A couple of hours later my wife and my mother appeared to bail me out. My mother paid $700 to bail me out. To this day I have a speeding ticket on my record that I am completely innocent of. My insurance went up when they were informed of my "conviction" of an unpaid speeding violation.And Louisiana has the highest car insurance rates in the nation. I realized at some point that I had lost my Driver's License just before entering the military, following my divorce from my first wife. Conclusion? My first wife's boyfriend was driving his car. For some reason he gave the officer my Driver's License that my wife gave him. We looked enough alike that the officer didn't question it. That ticket somehow got lost until everything was moved to a new computer system and it was determined that the ticket was never paid. Until my mom paid for the ticket and all of the fines involved. If I ever find the bastard that did this to me, I will be back in jail...for murder!

Wait just a damn moment. How did Willow get his car from the airport parking lot? And how did she get his rifle? Did Willow have a key to his house? Also, the timeline doesn´t add up. At seven months after he asked her to marry him, she accepted? So did he propose to her at the police station the night he met her? And seven months after he proposed to Willow his wife is still pregnant? This author should read his stories a second time just to make sense of some of the things going on. Don´t get me wrong, it was a good story. Fast paced, but still it was ok. Wish this authors would take their time and make their stories belivable.

Why?

The whole interest in the cheating wife tale is why? Annie asks him to take her back? Why?

But this story completely skips what is of most interest, the why? Annie must have explained why she did what she did during the prison visit, but the author deliberately omits the conversation. Why?

More holes than a political manifesto. Writing isn’t bad, just the plot nothing ties together. Part of the interest in any story is the human conflict, there wasn’t any!

Paternity test immediately; if the child is his, get full custody, and no visitation rights ; Talk to Willow, and get everything straight; if she agrees , marry her. I'm not sure this guy has seen the sun shine yet, but he needs to. The Bear likes him. A sequel would be nice. And if you didn't figure out the other guys wife was the shooter, you were asleep on the flight from Chicago, and you never got off the plane.

The BEAR

Can you say freaking nuts

FOLLOW-THRU NOT SO MUCH. THE WRITING LEFT A LOT OF HOLES. THE BIGGEST IS WHY DID THIS HAPPENED? WHOSE BABY IS IT? AT ALMOST 7 MOS. AFTER THE POLICE CHASE, NOW SHE'S PREGNANT! PAT TEST PLEASE. AS FAR AS WILLOW IS CONCERNED, I KNEW RIGHT AWAY SHE WAS THE SHOOTER, BUT THE TIE-IN TO THE STORY IS VAGUE. I GATHER WILLOW AND LUCAS HAD A HEADS UP OF THE CRIME PENDING AND TURNED THE TABLES ON THE SPOUSES. HOW ELSE DID WILLOW GET HIS RIFLE AND HIS SPARE CAR KEY TO DRIVE HIS CAR FROM THE AIRPORT. ANOTHER THING IS THIS WOULD HAVE ALL COME OUT IN THE CRIMINAL CASE BECAUSE WILLOW WOULD HAVE BEEN I.D. BY ZACH OR ANNIE. BIG HOLE HERE! WILLOW, BEING A POLICE OFFICER, LEAVES A FIREARM OUT THE FRONT DOOR? I DON'T THINK SO.

Nah, not his baby, you can bet on it. DNA test coming up for sure. If it is his get custody and freeze the crim ex out. Oh, and marry Willow of course.

So Willow was the one that stole his car? And his rifle? How did she know he had one? And how did she get inside his house and retrieve it? How did Willow know he would be home when she returned the car and rifle? Why was she trying to get him framed for a crime he didn´t even know about? Theres just to many holes in this story.

I chose to give this one a decent score, even though I believe that it is incomplete. Seeing the ex-wife preggers should have produced questions:

First: "Who's the father?" A DNA test most certainly should be required & under the circumstances nobody would fault him for insisting upon that.

Second, if the child is not his - case closed... infant enters the system - not his fault, not his problem.

Third - if the child is his, he gets full custody & she should be encouraged to give up her parental rights, so that Willow could adopt, giving the baby a chance at a normal life.

If she balks at that, he still gets primary custody, with the ex being at his mercy for visitation. She has already forfeited any right to expect fair treatment, she IS a convict.

Too many unanswered questions, recommend a Chapter 2 & clean it up.

3 stars - at least you did not have his dog run over in the street, to add to all the other misery he suffered.

David Allen coe song

The storyline was really solid until it stopped short of a conclusion. Too many unanswered questions at the end, why did Annie cheat, was the unborn daughter his kid, DNA would resolve that. Interesting story but needs to have at a minimum an Epilogue to bring the story to a conclusion.

Loved that Last line, "Glad I didn't shoot to kill" LOL. VERY good ending, ties everything up, who stole the car and brought it back etc. Cops in her precinct might even know, but let it slide. Who can say. The style of the story is nearly that of a newspaper story, fast paced and a lot of detail omitted. But I liked it. Five thumbs up from me.

This was a good one for sure.

LUCAS COLLINS WAS A SERIOUSLY STUPID DUMB CUCK

An incomplete end....he never responded to skank Annie about taking her back or in telling her that he was with Willow.

He is a really stupid man

I enjoyed it, but felt the end was rushed and cut too short. It needs FTDS to complete it, or a 2nd chapter to tie up the loose ends. I'm glad Willow didn't "didn't shoot to kill now." ;-)

Over the top but not too bad.

I enjoyed it, but agree that it was way too rushed.

pace was a bit much, way too interesting characters to zip along like that. I had a tarantula named Zaphod so great pet names. But I understood the choppy surreal pace in the beginning was to connect with the situation bu why continue that once they were released from questioning, and how did he not know she was the shooter? fun story though look forward to more

Too many plot holes in a decent story. (What clothes did he wear for a week?

He had no access to his own clothes. Who took care of the dog while he was gone? And many others.). Three stars. JPB

The setting and characters were American. In America, we have commercials NOT adverts. Among other small things that annoyed me, that really stuck out. Gave it 3 stars DMW aka Sumnut96

Odd.

Strange.

You missed 2 key points who set fire to the car and when did the divorces come in to play

Good story.

What I'd really like to know is who was looking after Trillian for the week that the MC spent at the home of Willow and her parents? Domestic dogs can't feed and walk themselves.