Bad Hair Day

She 'mmmmm'ed' and smiled in her sleep, stretchin' like a kitten. Then one eye popped open, and she gave a little shriek. She scampered over to the other side of Amber, hidin' behind her, like, and peeked back at me.

"You keep away, JT," she giggled. "I'm like to be walkin' funny for a week already! Goddamn, Amber, why didn't you warn me?"

Amber, who had woken up by now, gave a big belly laugh. "I DID warn you, honey! 'Sides, I needed you here to take some of the load or I wouldn't be able to walk at all!"

"Some of the load," Brandi cackled. "That's pretty good."

Amber smirked.

I lay there bemused while they chatted back and forth, until I finally had to get up to pee. They didn't even notice me leavin', I don't think, so I went to start on breakfast.

A while later, they came out, still naked. Smelled the coffee and bacon, I reckon. I had some pancakes ready too, and slid a plate in front of each of 'em as they sat down.

"Wow," marveled Brandi. "Great in bed and cooks too? You were right Amber, his ex is dumber'n a bag o' hammers!"

Amber nodded. "Told ya."

After they finished, Brandi asked, "Okay, so Amber told me some of what you're up to, JT. Why don't you fill me in on the rest?"

I glanced down at her crotch, and she covered her little kitty with both hands. "Not like that!" she hollered; her eyes wide. "Well, maybe later," she added with a grin.

I grinned back, and then got serious. "Not much to it, I reckon. We set up a fake interview and get my daughter's friend to hook it up so that Bobbi's the only one can see it. Amber said you do this for a livin'?"

"Oh, yeah," she said, not the tiniest bit bashful. "Not like I believe all that crap, but lots o' folks do, and it pays the bills. I guess I'm not hard to look at, so if people want to watch me, why not use what I got?" She shrugged, and I admired how her titties moved when she did. She caught me eyeballin' them and giggled. "See what I mean?"

"You damn sure got nothin' to be ashamed of, honey," I told her.

"You neither, baby," I told Amber before she could smack me.

"Awww," they both said, and I grabbed the syrup and chased them back into the bedroom. Pretty soon little JT was slowly workin' in and out of that tight little blonde pussy from behind, and she had her face buried in Amber's... well, no one wants to hear about that.

Okay, okay, stop whinin', maybe I can share a little. So, there I was, long-strokin', and I had my hands just restin', casual like, on Brandi's hips. Amber had one hand on the back of Brandi's head, and the other was squeezin' her boobs, when somethin' come over me, and I musta stopped, coz Brandi turned her head to look back at me.

"What the hell, JT? Why'd you stop?" she asked, wigglin' her cute little butt at me. I almost laughed coz her face looked like a glazed donut! Amber started whinin', "Brandi honey, I'm almost there!"

I said, "Sorry, sugar, I think... I think I'm havin' me one o' them 'piphanies."

"Well you're gonna have somethin' worse if you don't get back to fuckin' me with that big ol' dick of yours, baby. It's reachin' places no man has gone before!"

So I did, and gave her a little extra. She let out a happy sigh, and went back to what she was doin' and Amber let out a little sigh of her own.

Anyway, a half hour later we was catchin' our breath again, and I told them what had come over me.

"So I was thinkin', what if we took it one step further than the fake TV thing? What if we pretend to actually do one o' them experiments on her?"

"Oh my God, she would lose her shit, wouldn't she?" asked Brandi.

"You are one devious bastard, JT," Amber said, admiringly.

"Well, you two inspire me, and that's a fact."

Turns out they inspired me twice more before we all had to go to work.

><><><><><

A couple days later, Benji, Ellie, Amber, and me was in one of my work vans outside the little house Bobbi was renting. I had to buy a big magnetic sign to cover up the "JT's Auto" logo on the side. The new one had the logo from Brandi's TV show, which I thought was apropos. That was a new word I learned from Brandi, and I was tryin' to expand my vocabulary.

Anyway, we were waitin' for Bobbi to get home. Brandi had spent all the previous Saturday workin' on the show with Roy and Lettie, doing the 'interview.' Now we were moments from puttin' our plan into action.

Amber slugged me in the shoulder. Ow, damnit! "Here she comes, here she comes!"

"Hush, Amber, she'll hear you," I laughed. She was bouncin' up and down in her seat, and... well, I already told you about her titties.

She looked a little abashed. "Sorry, JT."

"That's okay baby," and I gave her a little kiss to show her I wasn't mad.

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Get a room, you two, jeez!"

Bobbi headed inside, and we watched as lights came on slowly throughout the house. Finally, she settled in front of the TV. She had a little tray with some kind of microwavable mystery meal and a glass of wine. A big glass.

"Showtime," Ellie whispered to Benji, who had already established a wireless link to Bobbi's television. He nodded and pressed a button to start playin' the recording that Brandi and the kids had come up with.

We cracked the door open, and I set up my spotter's scope. We took turns watchin' her through it. Benji had a special microphone that looked like a little umbrella, kinda, and we could sorta hear what was going on in the room. Plus, the playback was on in the van.

The TV came on, right as Brandi pushed the button on her remote. The scene steadied on what looked 'zactly like a studio livin' room. There was Brandi, sittin' in a chair on one side, then a coffee table in the middle, and a two-seat sofa on the other side. It was currently unoccupied.

Brandi had on her 'sexy anchorwoman' outfit. Damn if that wasn't an understatement. A snug white blouse, just the tiniest bit see-through, so you could tell she had a lacy black bra on underneath. She had a couple buttons undone, showing just a peek of her cleavage. And damn, her legs looked good in that skirt. It was a deep burgundy, stopped just above her knees, and had a slit in the back. I think she called it a pencil skirt. Made sense to me, coz it sure did put some lead in my pencil.

Real serious-like, she said, "Good evening, and welcome to a special edition of "Weirder than Weird." I'm your host, Brandi McGovern, and on tonight's program, we are going to discuss rumors of psychological experiments being conducted at Braden University."

Well, when Brandi heard that, she about dropped her wine glass, grabbed for the remote, and started stabbin' at the volume. Benji turned a dial slightly.

Brandi went on for several minutes, describing the supposedly closed-down MK-Ultra program, what its goals were, and how a lot of people thought it was still goin' on, right here at the university, plus at some others too! She said the main goal was to try and figure out how they could use mind control, mostly usin' chemicals and whatnot, tryin' to make people do shit they wouldn't normally do. I guess the CIA and the military figured it would give 'em an edge, so that made it all right.

Brandi said that they used all kinds of tricks - drugs, hypnosis, and other stuff. Sensory deprivation, whatever the hell that was. Put some poor slob in a tank where he cain't hear, see, or smell, and leave him there? Buncha sick bastards, if you ask me. But she said that some folks actually volunteered for it! The worst part was that other folks didn't even know they was bein' experimented on! She swore up and down it was all true.

Then, she turned to face the camera a little more directly, and re-crossed her legs. Damn, she knew how to work the audience. Too bad it was just Bobbi watchin'!

"Now here's where it gets even more interesting. "Weirder than Weird" investigators have discovered that the Braden University's Watson Psychology Building was constructed on the ruins of the infamous Walter Freeman Psychiatric Hospital for the Criminally Insane!"

Bobbi was sitting bolt upright in her seat now, her food forgotten. She did take another big gulp of wine though.

Brandi continued, "Oh yes. It is rumored that several layers of basements and sub-basements still exist under the shiny new Psychology Department facilities, and what's more..." Brandi leaned forward and lowered her voice, "They Are Still In Use!" She widened her eyes and sat back, crossing her arms under her breasts. I gulped. Amber snickered at me.

In the house, Bobbi had finished her glass of wine, and ran for the bottle. She was back in a jiffy.

Brandi let that sink in for a moment, then continued. "I know this is a lot to take on faith, so our amazing investigative team went the extra mile and found..." she started nodding, "Yes, eye-witnesses. But!" She said a bit more loudly, "Not only eye-witnesses, but victims of these heinous atrocities!" She let that sink in, then continued, "Please welcome Ray Smith and Betty Jones. Their names have been changed for their protection." In walked Roy and Lettie.

Damn, if I didn't know better, I'da thought they'd been caged up underground for a while! They had on some make-up so they'd look all pasty and their eyes darted around all nervous-like, as they entered the studio. Man, those kids were some good actors. I told myself to give them an extra $50 each.

Brandi jumped up and was actin' like a worried momma, guiding them over to the sofa, and fussin' over them.

Once they were seated, she returned to her chair. "We'll talk to our young friends right after his break." And the fake show went to a fake commercial.

Well, as soon as Bobbi laid eyes on them, she screamed right out loud, havin' recognized them from the incidents both in and outside her office. She clapped both hands over her mouth, and started to reach for the phone, but musta changed her mind. I guess she still remembered how the campus police laughed at her.

But then she snatched it up again and dialed, and goddamn if Amber's phone didn't start ringin'.

She looked at me in a panic. "It's Bobbi!" she hissed, grabbing for my hand.

"Calm down, baby, she don't know we're here. Take a deep breath now and see what she wants." I rubbed her back encouragingly.

Amber did what I asked, and I ogled her when she breathed in. She giggled, and I reckon that calmed her down some.

"Hush, y'all, I'm putting it on speaker."

"Hello, this is Amber."

"Oh, Amber, I'm so sorry to be calling this late. It's Bobbi Winslow." I ground my teeth and Ellie shushed me.

"I need to see you right away, I, uhh, have an emergency."

"Oh honey, you didn't try to do a Brazilian on yourself again, did you??" She grinned at us, and Ellie clapped her hands over her mouth, tryin' not to bust out gigglin'.

"WHAT?? N-no, nothing like that. It's about... the experiments," she finished in a hoarse whisper.

"Bobbi, you ain't makin' no sense," Amber said.

"Those kids I saw at the school, runnin' around in hospital robes, they're on that Weirdo program, right now!"

"Weirdo, what... Oh, you mean 'Weirder than Weird'?"

"Yeah, that's it. Amber please, can you come over right away?'

"Oh Bobbi, it's late, I was about to go to bed." She winked at us; she was havin' fun now.

"Please, Amber, you're the only one who believes me! I'm scared!"

"Oh all right, text me your address and gimme a few minutes."

"Thank you, thank you!"

Once Bobbi hung up, Benji ended the commercial, and the show came back on.

Brandi was looking at the camera. "Just before the break, I introduced Ray Smith and Betty Jones; our two brave survivors of the horrific experiments being conducted underneath Braden University's Watson Psychology Building.

With a commiserating look on her face, she turned to them and said, "I can't imagine the ordeal you have been through, and I am so sorry for all your suffering." She was layin' it on pretty thick.

"Now, can you describe what happened? Let's start with you, Ray. You're a student at the university?"

Ray, err, Roy, looked around, actin' scared, and said, "Y-yes ma'am. I don't rightly remember too much, ma'am. There was a sign on the bulletin board askin' for volunteers for a study. Said it paid $100, so me 'n Betty called the number and signed right up.

"We met some fella who said he was a doctor, and he had us fill out a bunch of paperwork, then he said we should come in for some tests. We did and he did all the regular stuff, you know, blood pressure and stuff, and then he said he needed to take some blood. Finally, he said he was gonna give me a vitamin shot, to help with the test. Next thing I know..."

At this point, Roy started pretendin' to cry, and he covered up his face and his shoulders was shakin'. Betty... err, Lettie... was cryin' too, and huggin' him, and Brandi got up and sat beside and was huggin' him from the other side. We heard Bobbi sayin' to herself, "Oh those poor children!"

Lettie stopped cryin' and said, "Same thing happened to me, Miss Brandi. After that shot, I woke up in a strange room, and I was strapped to a bed, and I had all these 'lectrodes and stuff hooked to me. I don't want to talk about it, I'm sorry!" And she started cryin' again.

Roy took over. "Yep, same for me. I reckon I got lucky though; one o' my straps was loose and I got myself unhooked. I'm so sorry Betty, I looked for you but I couldn't find you!" They hugged again.

While Roy was talkin', there was pictures of a creepy lookin' place, with examinin' rooms and equipment, and Lord knows what all, flashin' on the screen in between focusin' on Roy and Lettie.

Brandi asked, "Is this something like what you saw?" They put the footage on a screen beside them. Roy started getting' panicky, and said, "Yes'm, that's a lot what it looked like!"

I whispered to Ellie; "Where'd you get that stuff? It's damn scary!"

Ellie said offhandedly, "Oh, Benji helped me with splicing in some scenes from a horror movie. 'Psycho Psychiatrists from Hell,' I think."

I just laughed. "You're brilliant, baby."

As I was complimenting my baby girl, Roy continued. "I heard someone comin', so I high-tailed it outa there. I'll never forgive myself for leavin' you, but I was so scared! I figured I'd go to the police and we'd come rescue you! I remember runnin'... findin' some stairs... then I was in a hallway. I saw some lady in an office, and I hollered somethin' at her, and kept runnin'."

Bobbi's eyes about popped outa her head when he told about seein' a woman; well no wonder, that was HER!

"Finally, I got to the police but they didn't believe me! They tried to lock me up for doin' drugs!" He broke down again. Lettie hugged him and said she forgave him. Bobbi was cryin' too at this point.

Lettie started talkin' again. "I guess I musta been there a coupla days. It was awful, Ms. Brandi! Then one night, this nurse came in and was sayin' how wrong it was, what they were doin', and she couldn't sit by no more, and she let me loose. I couldn't even hardly remember where I was or even who I was, but she led me to a stairwell and told me to run! And that's what I did; I ran up the stairs, and outside, and just started screamin' for Ray."

Brandi was shakin' her head and had a tear leakin' outa one eye. She wiped it away, and said, "Well, there you have it. These two young lovers, snatched from their safe existence by unscrupulous government scientists and tortured, against their will, for days! Just heartbreaking."

She turned to them. "Thank you for coming, and for being so brave." Then she turned back to the camera. "We'll be right back." And Benji started runnin' some more commercials.

"Ok Amber, you're up! Here's the wine, now remember not to drink none of it, okay?"

"Won't she notice I don't have my car?"

I shook my head. "She's so worked up, I doubt it. Go on, sugar."

Angela grabbed the wine bottle and went toward the house.

><><><><><

So about that wine bottle. We didn't never have no idea of when we might get a chance to use it, so we took to carryin' around with us, just in case. Oh yeah, it had some over-the-counter sleepin' pills in it. Shhh, don't tell nobody! 'Specially Bobbi!

Anyways, when Amber rang the bell, Benji shut the TV down, and we waited. We could see Bobbi walkin' back and forth, wavin' her arms, and Amber tryin' to calm her down. She finally got some wine into Bobbi, and she started to slow down a bit, then sat down beside Amber on the sofa. Pretty soon she was snorin' on Amber's shoulder, and Amber looked out the window at us and waved us in.

I carried Bobbi out to the van and strapped her into the passenger seat, and Amber drove us all to her house.

Now for the same reason as the wine bottle - that is, not really havin' a firm timeframe, so to speak - we had gone ahead and set up Amber's back room like some kinda crazy doctor's examinin' room. We hung up some old bed linens that we threw some rust-colored paint on, to look like blood, as well as some plastic sheeting coverin' the walls.

Then we found some old medical equipment online - little trolleys and trays, and a few instruments, just enough to look real. Oh, we got one o' them real bright overhead lights like in the dentist's office, too. The best part was we found an old examination table from a gynecologist's office that still had the stirrups!

Anyway, like I said, once she fell asleep, we carried her to the van and drove to Amber's. We stuck Bobbi on the table and propped it up, then strapped her arms down, put her feet in the stirrups, and left the room. We sat around the kitchen drinkin' coffee and waited for her to wake up.

Turned out to be a couple hours, and we was gettin' impatient, so Amber 'n me put on our doctor outfits and went in. We splashed some water on her, and she started to come round.

Well, when she finally realized where she was - well, where she thought she was - oh Lordy. She liked to scream her damn head off. I hadda stuff her panties in her mouth to quiet her down. Oh, did I forget to say I took 'em off before we tied her down? Thought it might... make things more... interestin' for her.

Like I said, me 'n Amber had on some crazy doctor outfits, with big surgical masks coverin' our faces. Amber had a crazy red wig - Ellie called it a 'fright wig' - under her nurse's cap, and the hair stuck every which way. We had splattered more of that rust-colored paint on the white uniforms too. 'Stead o' those latex gloves they wear, we had on those big yellow ones that you wash dishes with.

Finally, I was wearin' what Benji called 'steampunk' goggles. They was metal lookin', and had real dark lenses. One eye had a kinda metal screen over it that looked like a bug's eye, and the other had a coupla extra magnifyin' lenses that you could move around. It had a thick leather strap that secured it around my head.

It looked pretty cool, and the damn thing only cost $10.

So there we was, Bobbi tryin' to scream around her mouthful of panties, and me 'n Amber tryin' not to laugh.

Finally, I said, in prolly the worst fake German accent ever, "Zo! Are you reddy for your final tranzformation, Miz Jackson?" Damn if I was gonna call her by my name!

But I'll be damned, she got mad! She mumbled around her gag, "Muh mame ih Mommi Mimmow!" I wondered briefly why she was so stuck on keepin' my name. But only for a minute. We had work to do!

"Achtung!" I shouted. No idea what it meant, but it sounded good. I only knew about three German words, and that was only coz Bobbi's dad loved World War II movies. That, and "Hogan's Heroes" reruns.

"You vill be called vhatever ve decide to call you! Now, for ze final step in making you into ze CIA sex spy!"