Bad Hair Day

Well her eyes got real wide then!

"Yes, you vill become ze perfect spy for us, using your feminine charms to sleep viz and neutralize ze enemy! And ve are almost complete!

"Nurse! The ButtenSchtupper!"

"Ja, Herr Doktor!" Amber slapped a 14" bright pink dildo into my hand. Bobbi stared.

I moved toward her, pointing the thing at her, and she tried to shrink away. I nodded, whispering, "Oh yes, my dear, it iss time for... ZE ANAL PROBE!!!" And I went to shove it under her skirt.

Well, when I did that, she spit out her panties, and made a sound like a Thanksgiving turkey who just found out his parole was denied. I lost it. I couldn't help it. The way Bobbi's eyes bugged out like a goosed Chihuahua, and her mouth was openin' and closin' like a goldfish with asthma... well, I started to laugh. Pretty soon the tears were rolling down my face and I had to take them goggles off to wipe my eyes.

Well, her eyes just popped out some more, and said, "JT? Is that you?"

By this time, Amber was laughin' too, and I had my hand on her shoulder, and laid my forehead down on it, I was laughin' so hard. Finally I got a grip, and nodded. "Yep, it's me. I reckon we got you pretty good, didn't we?"

She was lookin' back and forth 'tween me 'n Amber, and you could tell, she didn't have the first clue. I could see her startin' to get mad, but I just waggled that big ol' plastic dick at her again, and she started laughin' too.

Amber undid the straps, as I handed her her clothes, and said, "Come on, Bobbi, I guess we need to talk."

She got another shock when she came outa the room. "Where in tarnation are we, JT? You had me thinkin' there really was rooms under the psychology buildin'!" Her snooty way o' talkin' had all but vanished, and I was the gladder for it.

"Nope, we're at my place," Amber spoke up. "Now come on, and have a cuppa coffee."

After we were all seated - well, the three of us - Ellie and Benji had to get his equipment back to school - Bobbi looked at me and asked, "You did all this to get back at me?"

I nodded. "Well, you tore me up pretty bad; Ellie too, but I reckon I ain't mad no more."

"I can't say sorry enough times, JT. I don't know what happened to me, I was kinda hopin' this experiment thing was real, and maybe I could blame that on why I did what I did, but it's all on me, ain't it?"

"'Fraid so, Bobbi," I said.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, and the kids too. I'll never forgive myself for lettin' that smooth talkin' son of a bitch convince me I deserved more, when I already had everything I needed. I'm so sorry, JT!"

"Well, Bobbi, I reckon you need to try. But even if you can't, I guess I forgive you. But you need to talk to Ellie; she's still pissed."

She started to cry. "Thank you, honey. I don't deserve it, but thank you! And I promise, I will talk to Ellie; I miss my baby so much; I'll do anything to fix it! JT, can you help me?

Well, shit. "I'll talk to her, get her to agree to see you, but you gotta take whatever she dishes out, you hear me?"

She nodded sadly. "I promise, JT. Thank you."

Amber drove her home and I called Ellie.

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Well, it took some doin', but Ellie finally agreed to sit down with her mother and hash things out. There was a lot of shoutin' from Ellie, and cryin' and apologies from Bobbi, but when Ellie didn't get arrested for committing what them Brits and Aussies call Grievous Bodily Harm, I figured it was a good start, anyway.

I talked to JJ and Mike, and they said their momma had called cryin', and apologized for wreckin' the family, but they were both workin' things out with her. She was their mother after all, even if she did go crazy for a while. I told them I had forgiven her, and while we might not be married, we were still a family.

When it came back around to me and Bobbi, though... we met one day for lunch at the diner. I brought Amber for backup.

"I'm sorry, JT, I guess I messed up pretty bad. You didn't deserve any of it. I still love you, but I reckon there ain't no chance for us..." She looked at me a little hopefully.

Amber jumped up. "Nope. You threw him away and he's mine now, Bobbi." I was? Huh. That... actually... sounded pretty fine to me.

My ex-wife looked down dejectedly. "I understand. I reckon I'm a pretty sorry bitch right about now."

Amber glanced over at me, and I wasn't quite sure what she had in mind. But I sure as damnation wasn't thinkin' she'd do what she did. She scooted around next to Bobbi, and put one finger under Bobb's chin, tiltin' it up. Then Amber leaned over and in the middle of the goddamn diner, she kissed her right on the mouth. I think I saw an old lady faint dead away, over in the corner booth. But her friend pulled out her spectacles for a better look!

Bobbi jumped, then started to put her hands on Amber's shoulders to push her away, but then she gave a little sigh instead, closed her eyes, and wrapped her arms around Amber's neck! I saw some tongue wrestlin' too! Well, I'll be hornswoggled! I know my eyes were buggin' out. I knew Amber played for both teams, but Bobbi? I never had a clue!

Then I heard Amber whisper in her ear, while she was grinnin' back at me, "Me 'n Brandi might be willin' to share, Bobbi, but you still gotta have the anal probe!"

I'll be goddamned. Bobbi never even asked who the fuck Brandi was. She just looked at me and grinned.

Oh shit!

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Please, let that be the end...