All Comments on 'Bad Heuristic'

Sorry about the text duplication in this one, everyone, have submitted a fixed version.

Ah, I was confused about that at first. Makes sense the text duplication was just a technical mistake.

I have to say, that was really good! As a fellow writer, I was VERY impressed by the worldbuilding! You gave enough that it really helped provide more substance to the story, but you organically revealed it as needed throughout the story, rather than dumping it on us. It made it feel like we were only getting a slice of the full world, but a big enough slice for this story to perfectly work and give it all it needed. That takes seriously skill and it's something I've tried to do, but admittedly has little success with.

Sophie and Joe had good characterization. They weren't overly generic, but they also weren't over-the-top cartoon characters. I saw all their actions, words, and decisions and it felt like it all fit their established backstories, motivations, and personalities.

Along with the the protagonists' decisions, even in the situations and scenarios, you avoided porn logic. CMNF/ENF/Public nudity was the focus, but it always felt like you weren't forcing it. It always felt like it was happening organically within the context of the world. It sticks to its genre, but it also feels like a campy sci-fi story where everything happens in accordance with actual organic reasons for it, even if those reasons are based in sci-fi campiness.

I love how things are introduced a bit suddenly, but we learn more about the characters as we go. It's not that you do an in media res, but rather you just explain new situations or give us context for what's happening right when we need it in a way that gives a great ride! I love how Joe wants to help Sophie but he isn't above teasing her a bit, so he's not a full white knight but he's also not a malicious jerk prolonging an ENF protag's torture. Sophie was also a wonderful avoidance of extremes. She's embarrassed by her nudity, but her embarrassment is tempered by rational thought of the full context of her situation, and her embarrassment doesn't stop her from putting herself in danger to get out of dangerous situations. Despite her introduction as a nude stowaway, she's not some selfish rogue. Despite her situation, she still wants to help the man who was going to help her. Her embarrassment was present, but she didn't let it control her, so she was a pro-active ENF protag rather than a doormat as some ENF protags become.

And the actual CMNF writing? I love ENF, I love public nudity, I love CMNF. It's common to combine public nudity with either of them, but combining ENF with CMNF isn't all that common. ENF writers seem to favor a gynocentric cast, not bothering with supporting cast unless they're girls or just having faceless mobs. CMNF is usually done more in BDSM or utter life-controlling humiliation contexts. So it's not common for a male character to be central in lighthearted ENF/CMNF. It's something I want more of since, and you do it so well! The parts where Joe and Sophie hug and you describe his clothed body against her bare skin were straight out of my fantasies. There wasn't a CLEAR power imbalance between them. I might be able to find one if I squinted and forced it, but it wasn't obvious. The CMNF was lighthearted and fun and sexy without any major negative emotions involved with the characters. The romp of naked Sophie was adventure, but not the usual horror with humiliation-type ENF. Even when she put on TV, surrounded by a crowd, and interviewed while given an award, you avoided making it feel like she was a tortured victim, and that's rare since most writers don't have that kind of knowledge of nuance. The part where they assume she's a pet because she's naked and put her in the cages naked with the other animals was something I'd fantasized about in ENF/CMNF scenarios before, so it was extremely gratifying to see it done by someone else! The last couple paragraphs in particular made me blush and squirm, it was so cute and sexy and I loved Sophie embracing her nudity and verbally stating her desire to have sex with Joe, and the part where her clasping her hands to squish her boobs was just soooo adorable and hot. <3

The only actual downside I can think of is the lack of description for Joe. Aside from the jumpsuit he's wearing, I don't think I can think of you describing him. Sophie gets some description, like her chestnut hair and tanned skin, but noe Joe. I don't know if this had an intentional literary reason behind it on your part or if you just forget to describe him what with all the other stuff you wanted to write. As for Sophie, I'm glad she actually got some description. Most writers on Literotica don't realize that when it comes to ENF, we need to know what the character looks like since the focus is on nudity and it diminishes the point if we don't know what she looks like naked. At the same time, embarrassment is an emotion, and ENF deals in embarrassment, so unless we see the character as a person and not a doll or cardboard standee then we won't be able to see her as being embarrassed with our empathy. You NAILED that reader-empathy part, of course! I'm just a bit confused about Sophie's breasts. You describe them as "perky" but that's something I see most writers use to describe smaller breasts, with words like "pert" even being little more than just literary code for "small" when used to describe breasts. But the parts where you wrote her breasts moving as she got up in the cage, the "undersides" of both her breasts being exposed in a crop top, and when you wrote her squishing her breasts together by clasping her hands implied she was on the larger end of the scale. What I as the reader viewed as contradicting breast size implications confused me and caused me to be a bit distracted in some scenes scouring for any actual confirmation of her breasts described as "big" or "small" or "modest" or "ample" or any other size descriptor to clear up my confusion, and I didn't find it. In fact, I kinda worried you might've been going for the generic Hollywood "gruff guy" and "slender girl with C-cup and under breasts" that isn't actually the norm but just what Hollywood wants you to think because they hate casting busty, voluptuous women in leading lady roles, but I could see it as just fitting the "sci-fi campy" thing you were going for rather than just leaning into Hollywood stereotypes of actors. So the fact her breast size was a bit too ambiguous was confusing and distracting to me since you described her in other ways.

Other than that, wonderful story, lots of creativity and uniqueness! I adored how you wrote CMNF with nuance! Thanks so much for writing this!

Thank you for the kind words and trenchant criticisms, Cyberweasel89. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece and will keep your points in mind for my future writings.

Hey, I'm just happy you accepted my good-intentioned critique, so that means a lot to me. Thank you!

Just want to say this genre and the way you write space scifi with cmnf came out so natural. Thank you so much for writing this

This was just as much fun the second time as the first time I read it. Only one quibble: needs another chapter. You have succeeded in creating two interesting characters in just a few pages. It seems a shame that we can't read "The Further Adventures of Joe and Sophie and the..." Thanks for the story!